Not gonna lie, if I were to buy TGB I would take the covers off, throw out the book pages and just put my own heavily revised version of it and read that instead. OR, I would white out the text and write on the pages as if the book were my own journal but the text is actually a legible plot that doesn't undo the very foundation upon which it was founded. Actually, I think I would then just do that for the entire series post TFG because even TBH needs revising and so I would just fix the entire thing to have for myself a continuation/spin-off I can actually enjoy. But that's just me.
if i could just be a consciousness that restlessly consumes media, knowledge, and fanfiction for the rest of my life, i would be the happiest bitch on the planet. this body stuff sucks. like what do you mean i have to stop reading so i can eat, drink water, and sleep??? thats so boring.
My thought of the day is that book Frodo, even though he doesn't seem *quite* as pure and soft as movie Frodo and is a lot more believable as a mature, rich, reclusive 50-year-old hobbit living in his teletubby house who does loose his temper every once in a while or feels schadenfreude over idiots being scared of a dragon firework, still shares this overwhelming amount of whimsical innocence with his movie counterparts (including for example the Ralph Bakshi one). The way he constantly sings songs no matter if he's happy or sad, the way he is so in awe of things like elves, is so grateful for the help of his friends and stays quietly resilient despite everything, even when the horrors hit his sensitive soul at full force
A Love Letter to SoulSeeker and the Authors Who Write It
I like the term SoulSeeker for Tomarry/Harrymort because, to me, it applies to both and neither at the same time. It feels broad enough to encompass the whole spectrum of the ship, which is also very convenient whenever someone asks me what exactly I'm talking about.
One of the reasons I love Tomarry/Harrymort so much is the sheer number of possibilities their dynamic offers. It's one of the ships that made me realize stories can be anything. Tragedy, obsession, redemption, horror, romance, destiny, choice, time travel, soulmates, enemies, identity crises, you can take them in almost any direction and somehow it still works.
I enjoy straight ships too, but after spending years reading male-female romances, I started noticing certain gendered expectations and dynamics that kept showing up. Not in every story, obviously, but often enough that many began to feel repetitive to me.
I don't even remember what my first queer ship was, but I remember being drawn to how different the dynamics felt. There was a sense of equality there that I found refreshing. The conflicts, power struggles, emotional baggage, and character interactions felt less tied to traditional gender roles and more tied to the characters themselves.
Right now, my relationship with SoulSeeker fanfics is very on-and-off. I tend to drift between different fandoms and hyperfixations, but I almost always find myself coming back to it. Whenever my current obsession runs out of stories that interest me, or when the fics I'm following are still in progress and I'm waiting for updates, SoulSeeker is one of the ships I revisit. There's usually something new to discover, or an old favorite worth rereading.
That's not to say queer ships are automatically better. I just personally find them more interesting to explore. Part of the fun for me is exploring dynamics that would be messy, strange, morally complicated, or outright impossible in real life while still understanding where the line between fiction and reality is. I tend to read fiction with a pretty open mind, and I enjoy examining ideas through stories without feeling the need to agree with or endorse everything that happens in them.
Maybe I simply haven't found enough straight ships that scratch the same itch yet.
Or maybe there are just a lot of really good authors writing SoulSeeker. Honestly, that's probably part of it too.
At this point, SoulSeeker has become one of those ships I return to the way people revisit an old book or a favorite song. Not because it's the only thing I enjoy, but because it feels familiar. No matter what fandom I'm currently obsessed with, there's always a moment when I wander back and think, "I wonder what's been written lately."
Usually, I end up staying longer than I planned.
I think part of that is because of the authors. Some fanfics arrived at the right time in my life and gave me something to look forward to when I needed it most. There were days when the thought of, "I want to read more stories like this," or "The author hasn't finished it yet, I need to know what happens next," was enough to keep me moving forward.
Stories also gave me a place to feel emotions that I didn't always know how to express. Sometimes it's easier to recognize yourself in a fictional character than it is to explain those feelings to the people around you. Not because they wouldn't understand, but because they have their own lives, worries, and struggles too. Through fiction, I found a space where I could sit with those feelings, explore them, and sometimes even understand them a little better.
So while I love SoulSeeker for its endless possibilities and fascinating dynamics, I think part of my attachment comes from gratitude. Gratitude for the stories, for the authors who shared them, and for the fact that something written by a stranger on the internet could make me laugh, cry, think, hope, or simply give me something to look forward to at the end of the day.
Either way, Tomarry/Harrymort remains one of my favorite ships because it reminded me that fiction doesn't have to stay inside neat little boxes. Stories can be messy, strange, dark, beautiful, contradictory, and endlessly open to interpretation, and honestly, that's what makes them fun.
There are so many angsty tropes out there but god I'll always shed a tear when someone realizes one of the people closest to their heart died thinking they hated them / died before an argument got properly resolved.
I love writing - and reading - love stories where getting together isn’t the endgame. I get the appeal of a long slow burn, but I honestly think the blooming of a relationship is just as interesting.
The process of how they‘re truly falling in love - because to be loved is to be known, and there are certain things one can only see when you’re in a committed relationship.
Don‘t get me wrong, I love me some good miscommunication, the insecure thoughts about „do they like me?“ and the easily flustered characters.
But witnessing two people becoming utterly selfless because of their love for one another is just next level beautiful to me.
((My Captain, Off the Court readers can expect some blooming love-trope from me, because I REFUSE to stop the story at the first kiss))
