#reidentifying

[thedarestudy]

the DARE study

Principal investigator of the DARE study talks about new project investigating #genderfluidity

check us out #LGBTQ #genderfluid #twospirit #ftm #mtf #transtok #enbytok #queertok #butch #butchlesbiansoftiktok #transmasc #transfem #bisexualpride🌈

[incognitoradicale]

okay so how do I go off testosterone the smartest way? Just going at once probably isn't that good.

and I am not really wanting to tell the clinic because I fear they're gonna freak out LOL.

[discyours]

I’m so uncomfortably unsure about everything. 

I miss binding. I miss being able to look in the mirror and feel that I looked male (not that binding would achieve that anymore, no coming back from being radpilled™). I miss feeling confident about my ability to pass, miss having friends who treated me as if I were male, miss looking at trans men’s medical transition timelines and having even an ounce of hope that that would be me some day. I want to go on T. I want top surgery so badly it hurts to think about it. 

But I also want to reidentify. I’ve honestly been getting excited about the premise of it. It sounds absolutely wonderful, just being able to accept myself as a masculine woman. And finally getting to talk about myself as a woman, as a lesbian without having to hold back on terms that may be “invalidating”, or terms that some people see me as not having a claim to. And not having to worry about passing. I kind of have to remind myself that the reality of it wouldn’t be all good, wouldn’t even necessarily be better than what I have now. The reality would still be being stuck in this body, just with less terms to explain my discomfort with it. Still being seen as a masculine freak, just without an excuse this time. Maybe still being uncomfortable being called she and being called a woman, just having to hear it a whole lot more often. 

Being stuck inbetween is so hard that I’ve gotten into the mindset that either one would be better, and since I can’t medically transition I’m obviously gravitating towards reidentifying. I just don’t know whether that’s a rational mindset or just a sick-of-my-situation-and-wanting-any-way-out train of thought that’s only gonna make things worse for me if I go along with it. 

[butchsquatter]

Identity crisis I don’t want to know what the price is I couldn’t cope with the days do you think it was just a phase? or a feeling, a genuine feeling caused by the binary thinking I don’t know how to deal with this feeling like a disgrace to women and family there was no way I could fit into your concept of a woman or could I? now years have passed by and I am still lost I don’t want to play this game isn’t this enough? but I’m now perceived as male though I grew up as a girl but felt like I failed was it society that brought this idea in my head? that I needed a beard to be myself to act and dress the way I do to like girls to make love with them now I am ‘normal’ like a straight pretty boy fuck you I don’t think I needed a few years of hormones but I can’t reverse this I feel like I have escaped the prison of expectations but I can still see the prison and my friends are stuck in there and the pain won’t go away plus the guilt of being the one that got away keeps creeping up my back

[reconciling-reality]

07/07/18

Hello, this is the first post on this blog. I am biologically female, depressed and I outed myself to my friends at university on the 9th November last year. But I can't relate to that anymore. I have read lots of gender theory blogs, experiences of detransitioned women and so on. I believe my dysphoria came from my experience of long-term sexual abuse (3 yrs) in my youth. Lately, I have been questioning my sexuality a lot. Sadly, I have a boyfriend. So I can't thought-experiment guilt-free and the whole thing is taking a big toll on me.

[facts-before-ideology]

Video from a detransitioned woman - “Transition didn’t alleviate my dysphoria”

[gayshego-blog]

I have some very important movies. One of them, since before I can remember, is The Fox and The Hound.

There is a scene in The Fox and the Hound, right after Tod meets Vixie. He messes up while trying to impress her, and she laughs. He’s upset, and he says “you’re just a… Silly… Empty headed…. FEMALE”

There is emphasis on “female”, said as if he stumbled upon the obvious, real cutting insult. Female.

I think that stuck with me.

[bloodcritic]

it's like simultaneously I want my survival and experience as female, as a lesbian regognized and what I've been thru, how I relate to others because of it recognized - while wanting to not, like, have female sex traits, or take the step to change them.