it's almost 4am and i can't sleep because all that's playing in my head is dan in the hard launch video saying "hi i'm dan howell, reporting for all y'all snoopy motherfuckers" but every time he says the word 'snoopy' this image pops into my head
hpng characters and how they study for exams because im literally dying rn
rose- academic weapon. need i say more. she has the pomodoro technique down pat. sheās the girl at your local library claiming an entire table with an outlet to herself so she can plug her chunky ass laptop into it and make sure it doesnāt explode on her. she has a sugary iced drink near her at all times but she only takes a sip when she feels sheās deserved it. she eats dinner at 1am because she will not let herself move from her desk until sheās completed the practicals she has laid out in front of her. but trust that sheās losing hair and sheās greasy asf and her short fuse is basically nonexistent. sheās also always randomly sick during exam prep, but her symptoms are never bad enough to warrant a doctorās visit, itās only hella inconvenient so sheās chugging neuyrofen and vitamin c like her lifeās on the line. no special consideration for her. when she experiences one minor setback (technical malfunction, stubbed her toe, bit her tongue etc) she starts angry crying immediately. just donāt speak to her during exam time, sheāll slap you for breaking her concentration.
albus- exam period what exam period. what are you talking about. these assignments arenāt worth half of his grade what do you mean. youāre telling him the essay was due at 5pm today and not 11:59ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦. number oneā doesnāt cope well at all. in denial until the twenty-four hour mark before his assignments are due and then will lock in as hard as he can but it is absolutely not a pretty process. so donāt even talk to him about it before then. number twoā itās not like he was relaxing during swotvac (idk the british term for swotvac leave me alone) period, my boy was stressed asf he was just procrastinating. you know when youāre too stressed to do literally anything. albus is a prisoner during exam period free my boy. he canāt study, he canāt relax. when he fucks up because of his poor time management he will psychoanalyse everything about himself and convince himself heās the stupidest mammal to walk on two legs with five fingers. the mental abuse he puts himself through after submitting the shittiest 2000 word essay is crazy. but he is an affront to the english language (heās surprisingly alright at exams cuz heās really good at bulshitting, just donāt make him write anything longform š he canāt back up his impassioned opinions with any evidence ok)
victoire- she is the influencer on studytok that makes studying for eight hours straight look like the most aesthetically pleasing pastime ever. her skin is clean, her hair is washed, her clothes are pressed, her eating and sleeping schedule is routine. sheās so not real.
james- most people think heās an academic weapon because most people will just see the results he gets at the end of the marking period and conclude heās hella smart. but if they saw the type of basement-dwelling creature he turns into during the study period they would be horrified. he doesnāt touch grass, he doesnāt leave his room, his lips are chapped asf. in fact his room is growing into a whole new ecosystem to account for the cave-dwelling lifestyle james has going on. heās got the most psycho routine ever, no sane person would replicate this. heās so mad-scientist-scribbling-incoherent-observations-at-his-barely-lit-desk-at-midnight core. he never sleeps, he only has intervals of three hour naps so it doesnāt disrupt his sleep inertia. friends canāt text or call or reach out to himā heās on dnd for the next two weeks. youād think he died. his siblings think heās doing cocaine in his room to keep himself up. there is the occasional james sighting around 5am where he may trudge out of his room like a night stalker to make himself tea. his face is gaunt and ghostly and his body is brittle and awkward. donāt speak to him because heās not going to respond heās too busy spacing out through the entire exam period. if you do get a word out of him itāll probably not be in a language understood in this world. best he keep to his room.
hugo- heās absolutely broke yet the only way he can cope is through impulsive storms of online shopping and doing shopping hauls on his close friends. if he had it his way heād wind down the night with some dti with the boys but hermione has that boyās arse glued to the dining chair and she and rose are circling hawks scrutinising all of his answers and then insisting to mark his pracs for him. in all realness they do save him because his marks are always pretty good in the end.
teddy- simply did not study if the subject didnāt appeal to him. one of those woke students that truly believed that marks did not equate to worth. knew he would only feasibly want to pursue careers in the subjects he liked so would prioritise one or two subjects. motivational speaker to all his friends. actually didnāt let exams stop him from living his life. his speeches on the wotters arenāt so successful since a lot of them highkey gaf about their results. rose gets pissed off every time he tries with her. victoire politely ignores him. james is disassociating through the entire speech. he doesnāt even attempt it with percyās kids. bad luck ted.
lily- if there is a person who is the exact type of person who isnāt built for studying, itās her. she can get away with it at the start of her schooling, because she is quite smart, but when it gets serious its the biggest humbling ever. she just canāt lock in. sheāll have an exam the next day and suddenly sheās knocking on albusā door and is willing and wanting to listen to him complain about Life Problem #218. sheās suddenly volunteering to help her mum garden and help her dad cook. sheās going to āstudy sessionsā with friends where she forces them to do anything but study. sheās binge watching shows with james. sheās picking up a new hobby in juggling. sheās attacked by a new hyperfixation she canāt get out of her head and she has to spend 6 hours a day looking at fanart. like girl go study. james will give her the most bomb (but lowkey psycho) tips on how to lock in and sheāll get motivated until she looks at her prac and sees an 8 mark short answer question. like goodnight sheās having a nap. also she eats everything in the fridge, no snacks are safe. fuck the no sugar rule fr. sheās not even hungry she just convinces herself she is so she can do literally anything else besides that 8 mark question waiting for her on her desk in her room.
dominique- would drop out.
scorpius- heās a fucking freak because he probably likes the stress of exam period š like he probs does feel stress about it, but since heās always constantly stressed out this isnāt anything new to him. āi get to pour over all my in-detail notes iāve written on all these subjects through the semester again?? and then do an assessment regarding the in-detail notes i have? yippee!!ā his optimism is absolutely not shared by his peers but heās so oblivious to it. heās fantasising about what topic questions heāll get and what his damn body paragraphs are going to be. heās the guy seated behind you in the exam who unintentionally peer pressures you by requesting for another booklet because heās written too much in the first. heās the one joyfully skipping up to you after the test is over and excitedly asking for what you wrote about or what answers you got, and when he shares his responses with you, you realise his points were better or his answers were actually correct. and then heās emailing his teachers every week asking for when the marks will be released because heās just so excited. weirdo.
