May 27, 2023
screaming
#i have been on a JOURNEY the past few years of accepting my chinese heritage#and im not there yet and im still gonna make plenty of mistakes and have a lot of doubts#but honestly. those movies and shows i listed.#have shown me a part of myself i didn't know was there#their noses are like mine. their family structure is like mine. their accents are like my family's. their food is like mine. their homes ar#like mine.#and they're badass and funny and flawed and interesting and magical#i spent so long thinking that my brown hair and brown eyes and skin that looks like a healthy white girl tan when i haven't seen the sun in#months and rounded nose and facial structure i'd never seen on anyone else were what made me unspecial. what made me unworthy of being#important and magical and cool and pretty.#but now i look in the mirror and see that all these attributes of mine are part of me#i can feel a silent connection to my dad when he watches those movies multiple times#i wore a qipao to one of the most milestone-y events of my life#there's so much i don't know and don't understand#but i want to know. and i don't have to shame myself for wanting that.#rememberthis
