On a real note, this was born because I was rewatching the Movie and no one got more pissed about the sextuplets being NEET virgins than Uchikawa. Why was he so pressed????
Everyone just turned away or laughed but Uchikawa wasted all that breath on scolding them.
My dumbass crack theory was that he sort of had an embarrassing (to him) crush on Oso in High school but Oso sucks so he never said anything.
Years later it kind of haunts Uchikawa that he could’ve maybe had something more and then they finally meet again and he’s pissed he didn’t try sooner because Oso’s loser life and behavior is still lowkey attractive to him and he’s mad about it and starts to drink his feelings while remembering old feelings.
THAT WAS MY THOUGHT PROCESS OKAY
I know he was more Ichimatsu’s friend in HS but, like the rest of us, I think Uchikawa saw the allure of guy who sucks yk?