#royjay

[reads-too-many-writing-prompts]

Bruce, at a family dinner (asking solely in order to spend more time with his childern): Something big is going down in Gotham, this Friday. I need someone to be my back up in case something goes wrong. Dick: no can do. The titans and I have training. Jason: Nope. Lian has a dance recital. Steph: I have to- wait. what? Damian: who's 'lian' Jason, shovelling food in his mouth: don't worry about it. Dick: do you have... a child?? Jason: NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS. Bruce, emotional and confused: Am I a...grandfather? The table: (ERUPTS)

[cyclicalitty]

iyyyym not even going to *try* and censor this one

full version (NSFW) is on ao3 ;D (x)

[spiderstape]

What are they talking about

[jasontodddidnothingwrong]

Jay and Roy have been together for a while, and it becomes clear that they're in it for the long run. Lian realises since Jason is her other dad now that means Uncle Dick is now her uncle twice over. She makes the mistake of bringing this up at a family event.

Everyone immediately starts calling him Double Uncle Dick (DUD for short). Eventually it devolves into a myriad of terrible nicknames. Duncle Dick, Double Dick, Double D, Dick Dick... it goes on and on.

[lotusfireeee]

😋stay dry

[foolilazuli]

Lian: Hey dad, Jaydad’s texting you

Roy, busy with something: Ok cool, can you answer it for me, pumpkin?

Lian: He’s asking if you want meatballs or hamburgers for dinner

Lian, texting back: Same thing, bitch. Different shapes

Lian, turns off phone: 🙂

[speedyarrows]

Roy, walking in with Lian and Jason close behind: “Sorry we’re late. We had to wait out a terrible tantrum.”

Dick: “That’s okay. ‘Terrible teens’, am I right?”

Jason: “Oh no… it was me. It was my tantrum… Anyways, I’m fine now.”

Lian: “You’re thinking of terrible twos, Uncle Dick.”

Roy: “You’re both wrong. This is terrible twenties.”

[gayassdbz]