Abilities: Anger Point/Poison Point HA: Burning Touch
0’04/10cm
2lbs/900g
30/65/35/30/35/55
While usually docile, Wasabee will become aggressive if provoked, and repeatedly sting the aggressor. Its stinger is coated in an inflammatory oil known as capsaicin, which upsets the sinuses. In some places, this oil is used to season food.
Evolves into Vespice at Lv17, and then Scoviid at Lv31
How would that call of duty characters fare on hot ones? How high can they get on the Scoville scale before they gotta tap out??
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Using this scale as a guide:
The COD characters on Hot Ones
(This started out serious but devolved into pure jokes and slander)
Ghost, surprisingly, gets the furthest. I'd say he'd get around the Ghost pepper but would def get tears in his eyes and red in the face. In my mind, he's trained himself to withstand many kinds of 'torture' and that includes tricking his brain into not reacting to heat/pain receptors in his mouth.
Surprisingly (2.0), Nikolai. Not because Russians are particularly good with spice or because of stereotype, but because I'm 100% sure he'd handle a Habanero just fine. Something about him just screams it. Idk.
Gaz comes next. I'd say he can go up to Habaneros before he taps out. I hc that he was raised by immigrants and is used to spiced food, not just spicy, but well spiced too.
Alejandro after that. Might be me engaging a bit in stereotype but he, also, doesn't strike me as the kind of man that would eat bland food? Traditional Mexican food is well-seasoned and plenty spicy so... Cayenne-Thai levels.
Rudy fits here bc of the same reason as Alejandro. But he reacts worse, I feel like. In my mind, he gets red in the face and SWEATS when he's eating.
Price goes next and I blame that on the fact he's been all over the world for missions and deployments and probably has eaten food of all kinds, if nothing else just to experiment. That being said, he's definitely a wimp. Fits somewhere between Jalapeños and Cayenne peppers.
Farah and she's only this low because her country has been going through a revolt + she was in prison + she scavenged for food as a kid and I imagine she's not always had access to try super spicy food when surviving off rations. Fits somewhere between Jalapeños and Cayenne peppers but could definitely handle more if she had more opportunities to eat it more.
Laswell. I'm convinced she was a field agent for the CIA before becoming a handler and station chief. Aka, she was all over the world and ate all sort of things, just like Price. Fits somewhere between Jalapeños and Cayenne peppers.
Soap taps out the easiest on the 141 but he's still not really a wimp. He's just Scottish. Around the same level as Laswell, Price, etc.
Alex Keller comes next. He's white and American. Do I need to say more? I'd say he can handle a Jalapeño but will need loads of water and milk
Graves comes at the bottom of the fucking line. He's white, American and a yee-haw American at that. If Alex can handle a jalapeño, Graves can't handle yellow mustard out of the bottle.
Hot Sauce Is Lame, and If You Like It, You’re Lame
Hey! What’s that you’re dumping into that perfectly delicious bowl of mac and cheese? “Captain Howdy’s Flamin’ Hot Boomsauce.” Wow, I bet you feel extra cool when you whip that little bottle out don’t you?
“Heh, this stuff costs $12 an ounce and if you accidentally get so much as a molecule in your eye, you can kiss it goodbye!” you’ll inexplicably brag to anyone within earshot. Fuck you, you’re awful.
I’d say I’m sorry that your taste buds are so useless and undeveloped that you need to hurt yourself just to get through a meal, but I’d be lying. Intentionally causing yourself pain, just so you can feel SOMETHING at the dinner table....my God what a shitty existence.
“It’s not just heat, it really adds another flavor dimension!” HAHAHAHAHA! You think anyone’s seriously buying that shit? You’re a lying disgrace and your family pretends you don’t exist. You think you look extra tough and cool when you shake a few drops of Carolina Reaper jizz onto a deviled egg, but you actually end up looking like this:
You think anyone wants to be around someone who’s ever looked like that? Nope, they sure don’t. So how about you knock off this charade and give your napalmed anus a rest? Maybe you can preserve what little dignity you have left by eating like a grown-up from now on.
