#sex-negative

[avenpt]

is it possible for an allo person and sex-neg ace person to be in a relationship?

I know a lot of allo people view sex as more or less an integral part of a relationship, or even the "final end goal" of a relationship, but as a sex-neg individual I just can't imagine ever wanting that at all

would love to know if anyone has been in a relationship like that, and how it ended up working out!

We would like to think that yes, it's definitely possible! Of course, everyone is different, and relationships work differently for each person. Just because sex can be important to a lot of allo people doesn't mean that it's the most important thing for ALL of them.

We hope that people in such relationships will reply to this and help you out! But again, we do think it's possible. :)

[merely-a-caricature]

The Three Cultural Attitudes Towards Sex

Firstly, I’d like to state the difference between a political stance, cultural attitude, etc, and a personal stance on sex. A personal stance on sex refers to an individuals own feelings towards sexual interaction or sexual interaction as a concept. This is distinguished from political stances of sex which are attitudes towards sex in a broader more societal context rather than sexual interaction and how it relates to you personally. I have a post discussing the personal positions towards sex and one on sex-positive v.s. sex-favorable for more info

There are three attitudes towards sex on a cultural/societal level. These are sex-positive, sex-neutral, and sex-negative. These are not to be confused with the terms sex-favorable, sex-indifferent, or sex-averse/sex-repulsed

Starting off with sex-positive, it is defined by Oxford languages as “having or promoting an open, tolerant, or progressive attitude toward sex and sexuality”

The sex-positivity movement teaches that people should not be ashamed of their personal choices and preferences towards sex and advocates for acceptance of everyone’s choices so long as it is consensual

It also promotes open communication about sex in general, especially with one’s partner, and encourages sexual experimentation

Sex-positivity also emphasizes safe and consensual sex in addition to a comprehensive sex education so everyone can practice sex in this way

Examples of embodying sex-positivity include, exploring your fantasies, enjoying the sensations of your body, developing a positive relationship with your body and a healthy body image, setting boundaries, addressing unhealthy sexual patterns, and more

But sex-positive can be more than this. It can also include fighting for those in the sex industry and making sure their work is decriminalized. It can also focus on the portrayal of sex in the media.

Sex-positivity doesn’t mean increased sexual encounters or arousal, however, but an openness and non-judgmental towards sex and talking about sex

Moving onto sex-neutrality, there isn’t actually a whole lot on the internet about the subject (really only posts on here), so this will be pretty brief. Sex-neutrality basically is the belief that sex isn’t inherently good or bad. It attempts to move emphasis away from sex.

And lastly, sex-negative, also known as antisexualism, is, according to Wikipedia, defined as, “opposition or hostility towards sexual behavior and sexuality”. Like with sex-neutrality, I was unable to find many sources (besides discussions on various forums) about sex-negativity. Trying to find sources and research can lead to some weird things, so from this point forward, it’s technically my own words. Nevertheless, sex-negativity promotes sex as being evil, the root cause of all bad things in society, and something inherently disgusting and tainted. Essentially, sex-negativity is the anthesis of sex-positivity.

Hope this helped y’all! I just really wanted to post this since I can’t help but get a little irked when people use terms like sex-positive and sex-favorable interchangeably when they’re definitely not the same. I hope you learned something!

Sources:

(A)(A)(A)(A)

[beyond-mogai-pride-flags]

Antisexual/Antiromantic Pride Flags

Antisexuality or antisexualism: opposition towards sexual behavior and sexuality; a sex-negative label; describes a person who would prefer not to develop sexual feelings for people, but does anyway.

Antiromantic Pride Flag

Antiromanticity, antiromantism, antiromance or antiromanticism: opposition towards romantic behavior and romance; a romance-negative label; describes a person who would prefer not to develop romantic feelings for people, but does anyway.

See also: apothi-/apoti-, repuls-, anticarnal/discarnal, arc-

[resonanceaudiodistro]

Undoing Sex - AudioZine

Undoing Sex – AudioZine

Undoing Sex: against sexual optimism – by c.e. – MP3 – Read – Print – Archive – Torrent – YouTube *This zine contains discussion of sexual assault* “Undoing Sex” is a critique of sex-positivity that both draws upon and completely transcends second-wave feminist critiques. The essay explores the metaphysical quandaries faced by the “not-man” in their engagement with and survival of sex. Centering…

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[sagegreenyaps]

I tend to go back and forth about the "kink at pride" discourse, and I'm pretty sure it's because of trauma.

Sex-negative vent below the cut:

Back when I first came out to my mom as asexual, she told me-- and I quote-- "the only person who wouldn't want to fuck you would be a gay man." My asexuality was, and still is, perceived as a disease by her (as was my gender, but that's another thing).

My parents also used to often make innuendos and fondle each other in my line of sight. Kinda stupid on its own, I know. My parents even told me so whenever I would ask them to tone it down: "would you rather have parents that argue and beat each other?" But it still bothered me, not being able to opt out of bearing witness to that, as selfish as that may be.

Sometimes I am super fine with the idea of other people having sex in real life. Other times, the idea of all that makes my skin crawl and makes me want to escape the mortal plane.

I wish I wasn't asexual. Just me, specifically. Other asexuals (besides those goldstar asexuals on r/actualasexuals) are normal.

[ri-night]

i know that being ace in lgbtq+ spaces is not that great. parts of the community will treat you like you're just invading spaces or they don't even believe in asexuality (of course it's changing).

But pls, throwing others under the bus calling lgbt+ spaces "hypersexualized" and full of predators while trying to stand on high moral ground because you're asexual it's just not it. And yeah, I can totally understand being sex-averse, I'm one myself.

But conservatives really don't care if you call yourself asexual, for them, you belong in the same group, you shouldn't exist and they also consider you a predator.