#sibling conversations

[nyannibalistic]

[lady0ri]

Me to my sibling, @inixplicable: Can you think of any other examples of "born sexy yesterday" characters?

Them without missing a beat: "Baymax."

[green-witches-secret]

My mother, talking about an event her friend is hosting: I don't know if she'll like my lazy costume, I think she wanted more of an actual costume.

Her: *is dressed as a baseball fan with a jersey, hat, and leggings*

Me: You want to borrow my bat? You could be a baseball player

Her: No, I don't want to have to carry it around.

My older brother, now concerned: Why do you have a bat?

Me, shrugging: I bought it at Walmart

Him: That... That doesn't answer my question

[castleshadows]

I didn't have the time or energy to make this into a fic, but I wanted to share it somehow, so I decided to make a really long meme. It starts right after Malik finds out Casteel and Shea are engaged. Enjoy!

_________________________________

Malik walks into the library to see Casteel sitting on the couch with a pile of books. He snorts and then makes his way over to his brother, sliding onto the couch next to him and rocking back and forth in excitement.

Malik: *half squealing* My baby brother's gettin' married!

Casteel: *buries his head in his hands* Here we go.

Malik: *fake crying while hugging Casteel* They grow up so fast!

Casteel: Good gods...

Malik gestures to a woman walking through the children's selection with her son. She looks at him, confused.

Malik: They grow up so fast don't they?

The woman nods her eyes getting misty as she looks at her ten year old son.

Casteel: No- No, stop it. Why are we involving other people.

Malik: *suddenly letting go of Casteel and leaning against the couch* Did it hurt?

Casteel: *deadpan* Did what hurt?

Malik: While you were getting down on one knee?

Casteel: Why the fuck would that hurt?

Malik: Well, I just wondered if if was difficult to manueaver around the giant stick up your ass.

Casteel: *pinches the bridge of his nose in exsaperation* Malik-

Malik:I mean judging by the percentage of your personality that is uptight prick, whatever's up there is really more of a log.

Casteel: *dryly* I do not have a log up my ass Mal.

Malik: It's okay if you haven't come to terms with it yet, I know it can be hard.

Casteel: Oh my gods-

Malik: But I'm just wondering, did it hurt or did you cream your pants because really I can see either one happening...

Casteel: *in disbelief*

Malik: I'm just saying that I know it can feel good when shit it up there-not actual shit-

Casteel: *muttering and trying to hide his blush* Yeah I got that.

Malik: Good just wanted to make sure. As I was saying the combination of that and the realization that a woman actually likes your skinny ass for once, I understand that that might of been a little too much for your balls to handle.

Casteel: *desperately trying to sink into the floor*

Malik: Now about the wedding night.

Casteel: NO

Malik: You know where the clit is right? Because that's really the key to female pleasure. You know where that baby is and you're practically set.

Casteel: *mumbles something incoherent*

Malik: Was that a yes? I think that was a yes. It sounded like one. You know what? Just in case... *grabs a sheet of paper and a pen off of the table and starts to draw something*

Casteel: *looks over to see Malik drawing a crude rendition of female genitals*

Malik: *finishes it and holds the paper up for the world to see*

The same mother who Malik was talking to earlier looks over at the paper and goes red. She covers her son's eyes and ushers the boy out of the library, leaving his books behind.

Casteel: *whispering while furiously trying to yank the paper out of Malik's grasp* Is this really necessay?!

Malik: Absolutely. Now take this pen... *hands Casteel the pen* and draw a circle where you think the clit is.

Casteel reluctantly takes the pen and draws a shaky circle just above where the inner labia meet near the top. Malik nods, impressed, and pockets the pen.

Malik: Not bad kid. You know... I think you're set. *looks over to see that Casteel has already dashed away*

Casteel already several rooms over: I fucking hate him.

[someoneiwasnt]

my sibling: i never said bitch until you came along

me, a twin: i came along at the same time you came along

[nightwingvixen23]

Cassandra : *flops down onto the sofa next to Dick* SO any new developments in the ‘Jay department’ *wink*

Dick : Well...last night in the middle of sex, he stopped to tell me that he loved me, then he slapped my ass and said “back to business”

Cassandra : ....

Cassandra : Marry him

[chaoticpanenergy]

overheard from siblings:

“cars can’t be in fairy tales!”

“exhibit a: harry potter and the chamber of secrets.”

“harry potter isn’t a fairy tale!”

“close enough.”

“where’s the PRINCESS then, HUH???”

“UM, exCUSE me, WHO do you think dumbledore IS???”

[solidsnakessolidcakes]

My brother is thirsting over Venom’s beard.