can anyone please help me with all this, dear god. everythings piling up again & i really gotta pay it all on time.
ca vn kofi bmac gfm throne paylinks
most urgent: June 8th debt repymt ($69.34), June 12th debt repymt ($218.11) & June 12th cshapp borrow loan that was for rent ($462.88 left)
the faster i pay debt off completely the more breathing room ill get ₍^> <^₎ bc i wont have to tell my captors right away. then id get to have time to rest, continue job hunting & plan my hopefully eventual escape Σ(°ω°ﾉ)ﾉ. taking cat of my senior cat still, its pride month & my birthday soon too—so everything is appreciated quadruplely so. luv u ty 4 reading 🫂 xoxo!
𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩: joel wants to work on his latest wooden craft; but sitting across from him for so long…you want something else.
𝐟𝐭. (old man)jackson!joel x fem!reader
𝐰𝐜: 2k(ish)
𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞𝐬: 18+, mdni, straight smut, established relationship, undisclosed age gap (joel is 55-60 yrs old), oral (m receiving), deep-throat, f!reader touching themselves, joel’s a lil mean/bratty, joel’s BIG too, coming inside reader’s mouth, dirty talk, mention of the lil blue pill at the end.
𝐚/𝐧: yeah…this was supposed to be a hehe haha lil one paragraph thought and umm…yeah. joel is infectious…enjoy! :3
“darlin’” joel drawls softly; warm and gentle like an afternoon sun in the summer. it was nothin’ but a sweet, southern warning as the weight of your foot presses into his thigh.
he had been working on some wood carving for what felt like hours, with no end in sight. he said it was important and that he wanted to finish it tonight…but you had other plans. sitting across from him at his kitchen table, flipping through some book that you dragged out of his shelves. boredom has your eyelids feeling like they weight a hundred pounds and you’re pretty sure you’ve read the same page more than four times.
which is where you get the wonderful idea to have a little fun of your own.
you scoot down a little in your chair— just enough to not be suspicious right off the bat— until you lift your foot to press gently into his knees. nothing unusual, something relatively normal to be honest. as any other day, joel would gently grab hold of your calf and stroke along your skin. you wait a heartbeat, flipping through the book as if you’re still reading it, before your foot advances.
the first warning.
you bite down on your bottom lip at his southern drawl but he doesn’t look at you— just continues to work on his little carving tangled up in his fingers. you watch for a moment as his knife smoothes over an edge, the wood that curls up underneath the blade and falls onto the table. you wait for the fourth or maybe fifth skim of his knife and the fall of discarded shavings before you begin to move again.
no longer as teasing as you probably should be; you shift your foot right in between his thighs. pressing just enough weight onto his softness to liven him up a little and not to hurt him.
joel grunts under his breath and he slightly jerks as you press your foot into his jeans and his cock beneath— a good start.
with that you finally draw his eyes away from his carving. his glasses settle onto the edge of his nose and he glances at you from over the rim; the second warning. but all it does is make your heart flutter. you smile all innocent like, shrugging your shoulders under his heavy gaze before his attention returns to the wood carving in his hands.
clearly, just teasing him would not be enough to get him to put away what he was working on and instead ‘work’ on you; so you’d just have to push your luck a little more.
you place the book faced down before slowly slipping out of your chair; sinking right down onto your knees and under the kitchen table. you replace your previous advances with your hands now, skimming the palms of your hands along his inner thighs as you move between his parted legs. your fingers are just grasping around the metal of his belt buckle when he’s noticed exactly what you’re up to.
you hear him halt in his work by the tap of his knife being set down on the table, and then he’s scooting back in his chair a little. where he can look down at you and your position from beneath the table, his gaze a warm summer’s heat that lights your whole body on fire. joel sighs an old man sigh, a lifted eyebrow pointed down in your direction as the only words he says.
you shrug once more, dawning a not-so-innocent smile as your fingers continue to work at his belt. “m’not doin’ nothin’” you coo up at him, putting on your best southern accent to mirror his own. a little tilt to your lips as you stare up at him from your little sweet spot between his thighs. “you can still work, right?” you hum ever so sweetly, slipping the leather end of his belt out of the buckle. and just because he’s watching; you put on a good little show for him. you lean forward, pressing a kiss into the waistband of his jeans, before your lips wrap around the button of his jeans. you unbutton the front of his pants before taking his zipper in between your teeth and slowly pulling it down as well.
the twitch in the corner of his eye lets you know exactly how well your little show is working on him. along with the twitch beneath his boxers. but he restrains himself nonetheless and lets you play out your little plan.
once the fly of his pants is positioned opened wide, you hover over the half-stiffness inside his boxers. letting out a hot breath right along the growing tent inside his underwear. you chuckle at the twitch your breath gains you before you occupy your mouth with something else entirely. your lips press into the curve of his half hard cock before your entire mouth is warming across his boxers. you leave open mouth kisses along every inch of his shaft, fingers working circles into his jean clothed thighs.
you can hear him choke back a deep groan that buzzes inside his chest. makes your head fuzzy hearing him try his best not to enjoy what he’s seeing and feeling. makes you want to ruin him just a little bit more.
“go on old man,” you mumble teasingly against his shaft, your fingers working upwards to hook around his boxers waistband and giving them a tug; just enough that one of your hands can fish him out from beneath the fabric of his underwear. now he’s entirely hard, standing at the ready and drooling at the tip like a young man would. you press a kiss into the leaking slit of his tip as a smile forms on your lips once more. “finish your carving…”
you barely glimpse his lips curl as he tries to respond to your little teasing but you don’t let him. your mouth surges forward, fully wrapping around the head of his stiff cock— effortlessly cutting him off from speaking. another deep groan from within his chest has your toes curling.
you’re slow in your movement to take more of him into your mouth. keeping a steady hand on his base as you slowly sink onto him, teasing him just a little more. he was used to the fast paced, ‘need to hurry before patrol’ bj’s you usually gave him in the early hours of morning. but on the other hand…you’re a little surprised as the more you swallow him, the more his hands stay above the table. normally, those calloused, strong hands of his would be tangled up into your hair; pulling your locks as filthy praise tumbled from his tongue— but not this time. no, this time, joel was going to let you work all on your own. it was punishment. since he knew how much you liked to hear him tell you how fucking pretty you looked sucking him off.
whatever. if the older man wanted to be just a little meaner this time…fine by you, you’ll just have to work a little harder than usual.
at that thought, you suck around him a little harsher. using your own free hand to tuck strands of fallen hair behind your ears to keep them out of the way. sliding further and further down until you can’t take anymore of his shaft; swallowing him completely to the hilt. he sits so comfortably inside your mouth and throat, as if you were made to hold him there, but neither of you get to enjoy the satisfaction for too long as you slowly slip him back out of your mouth with a wet pop.
you smirk up at him and his heavy gaze. dark eyes, pupils blown wide from the lust seeping through his rough exterior. watching as his breath quickens inside his lungs to make his chest rise and fall in rapid succession.
oh hook, line, and sinker. he was all yours now— carving be damned.
you press another kiss into the slit of his leaking head, giggling at the way his eyelashes flutter, before slowly shifting your hand up to meet your lips. you stroke him entirely. from base to the tip, dribbling his precum onto the plump of your bottom lip. any other night and joel would’ve called you every pet name under the sun, with almost every ounce of praise he could fling at ya. but tonight he just bites the inside of his cheek, demanding you to continue with just that dangerous glint to his eyes. as if he’s waitin’ for the right time to strike and turn you into a babbling mess.
that would come sooner or later though— you still had some teasin’ to do.
you slide your hand faster over his shaft. jerking him with a steady pace until your mouth yearned to return to him. so with a little help of some of your spit slicked onto your hand and thus onto his shaft; your lips return to wrapping around his tip. thanks to the added little bit of slick and his smeared precum, you’re able to move faster across his large cock. bobbing your head faster and faster with only a soft gag here and there from the thick of his head damn near hitting the back of your throat.
if you hadn’t done this before, you’re sure you’d be choking and gagging way more than you were now…like the very first time the two of you slept together. definitely was a little bit of a shock at how massive he was.
“you fuckin’ dazin’ off?” joel’s gruff voice coos from above.. embarrassment flushes your cheeks a royal red as his words sink in; realizing you might have accidentally let your mind wander away from the task at hand. “y’started this…gotta finish it now, darlin’” joel hums, the pet name rolling off his tongue oh-so-sweetly, as he finally, finally, sinks a few of his fingers into the top of your hair. but he grips harsher than usual, sending a little shiver of pain down your spine. but it’s a more than welcoming little sensation; causes your eyes to flutter and hearts dance across your gaze as you look up at him.
but it’s him yanking on your hair, forcing you to take all of his aching cock into the entirety of your mouth that sends an electric shock straight to your womb. your pussy throbs, slick flooding from between your slit and throughly soaking the panties you wear. you moan, light and whiney, around his base; your nose is pressed into his tan lower abdomen. and he holds you there, with just one big hand of his, forcing your lungs to go into overtime to keep you breathing.
immediately your hand shoots down between your thighs, where you press fingers into your drenched panties, slipping the pads of your fingertips right along the entire curve of your cunt. you whimper at the first touch of your fingers, forcing your gaze up to his as you rub against your clit with a shudder.
joel chuckles, deep and low, and directly at you as he watches you touch yourself. “that fuckin’ needy sweetheart?” joel hums in response to your pathetic moan; sending shivers up his entire body as well. he doesn’t let you answer though as his fingers untangle from your hair, returning to their original position above the table. a nod of his head is the only other thing he ‘says’, instructing you to continue your work.
and you do as your told. drawing your mouth back to his tip, catching your breath, before swallowing him whole once again. the deep burning need inside your tummy turns you messy. spit dribbles down your chin with each bob of your head. and with each press of your fingers against your core, you flood into your ruined panties.
and while joel doesn’t touch you, his mouth sure does run. your name sinks off his tongue every time you edge closer to his tip; every curse known to man taking over when you sink down onto the base of his cock. and you know he’s getting closer and closer to the burning of his own orgasm when he starts to string just a little bit of praise together.
“fuck,” he huffs, watching his thighs clench hard at either side of your head. “couldn’t wait, huh? only got one thing on that pretty lil mind of yours, yeah? fuck.” he groans deeply, fingers gripping the edge of the table to keep himself from giving you the satisfaction of, well, him losing his internal battle. “yer’mouths so hot, so warm. you were made to take me, ya know.”
his words make you weep around him but his twitching cock forces you to swallow a pathetic whimper. his dirty talk spurs you on, faster and faster, until he can’t take anymore. the primal groans and grunts that leaves his lips and the way he swells inside your mouth gives you all the clues you need. you hum around him once, twice, drawing out a few more of his deep breathy moans, timing it just perfectly before you sink him into the back of your throat.
his hips jerks erratically as he cums deep into the warmth of your mouth. you hum satisfactorily at the broken syllables of your name as you rides his orgasm out. when he finally finishes, you slowly pop off his softening, spent cock, getting a good look at your man; his pupils blown wide, chest heaving with every breath he tries to catch, sweat beading his forehead, and those sexy ass reading glasses of his are disheveled and lopsided. god it makes you want him so badly…more so than before.
“you better take one of your pills, old man,” you tease with a dripping lustful tongue, climbing up from beneath the table and into his lap, straddling his hips. “i’m not done with you yet.” you muse, taking up one of his large hands and pressing the tips of his calloused fingers into your drenched panties.
joel doesn’t have to say anything— the dark twinkle to his eyes says enough. you were in for a wonderfully long night.
Another ~✈️🥒Cumplane~ (there's very small LiuShen/LiuYuan if you squint REALLY hard, but don't look forward to it. Also written withe eventual Cumplane romance in mind but not shown here, so it can interpreted as one wishes.) idea offered up to the table!
(This was all just an excuse to make domestic cottagecore rogue cultivator Cumplane but I got carried away. ANYWHO.)
Good News: Shen Yuan and Airplane, Luo Huachen as Shen Yuan had learned recently— and yes, Shen Yuan absolutely tore into him for giving the Stallion Protagonist a surname[洛] that was both homophonic[luo4] and homographic[Luo] to his own[骆]— avoided their pre-destined PIDW deaths!
Bad News: Uh, they both died much earlier than that due to meddling in the Immortal Alliance Conference to prevent as many disciple deaths as possible. LBH was still in the Endless Abyss— but hey, it was at least done by Mobei-jun this time (Shen Yuan thinks. It was actually Luo Huachen who did it in an act of desperation but like, don't tell him that)!
TL;DR, it's a whole other story: Shen Yuan— as Shen Qingqiu— was killed by Mobei-jun on accident after LBH was thrown into the Abyss. Luo Huachen— as SQH— immediately called onto him when he noticed SQQ's body and simultaneously revealed his betrayal of both Mobei-jun, for purposefully sabotaging plans in such a way, and the sect, for colluding with Mobei-jun and spying around in the first place.
While SQH taking a breath for the confrontation with Mobei-jun, Liu Qingge killed him.
"Vile," Liu Qingge sneered. It wasn't the thundering anger of the War God, or even the gentle rumbling of frustration brewing under his skin and through gritted teeth. It pure hatred. "Absolutely vile excuse for a man."
The last thing he remembered was the shock on Mobei-jun's face, and Liu Qingge ripping Cucumber-bro's dead body away from his arms.
ANYWAYS Caveat to Bad News: They realized each other's transmigrator status pretty much the same year SY transmigrated so they had a lot more time to prepare! So now they've revived into their Sun-Moon Dew Bodies~!
Small Caveat to Caveat: Their memories are funky right now, so they only really know that they're friends(...?) of some sort and that they transmigrated into Proud Immortal Demon Way. They know that they're Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky and Peerless Cucumber, and they're in Sun-Moon Dew Bodies guessing by where they woke up and the was their qi flowed. And they know they're in the era that LBH would be in the Endless Abyss.
They don't know that they transmigrated as Peak Lords, or that that they'd died a second time already. They don't know that they both used to have Transmigration Systems that're pretty much non-existent in with these bodies (well, for now).
(on the topic of bodies)
SY: "...Why do you kind of look like Luo Binghe?"
LHC: "Uh..."
SY: "Oh my fucking god... He's your self insert, isn't he?"
They decided go become wandering cultivators together, as they knew eachother in their past life, even if only through a screen. Even if there were other transmigrators somehow, both of them doubt they'd get any luckier with finding anyone they'd be any closer with. (And also, Luo Huachen wasn't exactly optimistic of the types of people who enjoyed PIDW uncritically anyways, so it was probably best he ended up with Peerless Cucumber out of everyone!)
Shen Yuan's surname is literally the exactly the same as Shen Qingqiu's, so he uses his mother's surname— Shī (施)— to prevent any unwanted association, considering how LHC is pretty insistent thay he does look way too much like Shen Qingqiu.
As far as Luo Huachen is concerned, his own name should be fine, but SY defaulted to calling him "Luo Chen-ge" instead of "Feiji-ge" real quickly. So he guesses he's Luo Chen now.
They actually work really well together. Shen Yuan is basically an endless supply of knowledge when it comes to the flora, fauna, and location markers of the PIDW, and Luo Huachen is both excellent in resource-mamagement, and his surprising skills in sleight of hand. Combined with how their conversations on strategy, when not under the pressure of the system (or being a broke author and a hater separated by a screen), they get their bearings really quickly.
Not to mention, people have grown to quite like them. Er. Mostly Shen Yuan.
LHC: "It's like you have a wife-beam or something, Cucumber bro."
SY: "What the fuck are you talking about?"
LHC: "You seriously don't notice, dude? Half the people we meet seem to want your hand in marriage. You're a charmer when you're not being all prissy and stuff."
SY: "Who are you calling 'prissy,' you piece of shit hack?"
LHC: *Pointing* "See, that's what they don't know! But, I'm sure someone's into you when you're mean too."
SY: *Holds up tongs* "Luo Huachen, I'm literally holding a venomous snake right now. Don't test me."
Though, it would be a lie to say Luo Huachen didn't acquire his own set of trusted buddies as they did odd jobs and night hunts around the surrounding lands. He pretty much built a spy network over time.
They weren't rushing, really. Neither of them have spiritual weapons, so no sword flying, sadly. They can wield and use swords and infuse it with spiritual energy while in use, but it's a manual thing. It works, at least. They tend to do just find hand-to-hand or with their non-spirirual weapons on their own.
They do find a place to settle relatively quickly.
They're not extremely far from Cang Qiong, but they live in a city that's far enough away from a majority of the happenings, and one that hasn't been named dropped since its first mention way back in the first 30 chapters of this thousands of chapters long novel. Not even mentioned in the author's note listing the cities affected by LBH's merging of the realms and dismantling of the cultivation world!
Their house at the corner of a very busy area in the city, but due to how respected they are over the past 3 years, people often choose not to bother them unless they're new...
... And that's as far as specific details go for me. But TL;DR Cumplane don't worry about the plot and ultimately jusy try to live everyday like it's their last while running away from the plot. They adventure and research, Luo Huachen kind of becomes a known storyteller and Shen is a teacher and medic of sorts.
And it's all good an peachy and nice until they learn that, apparently Shen Qingqiu and Shang Qinghua died during the Immortal Alliance conference.
What the fuck?
Oh, and YQY and LQG had visited to city that they weren't even supposed to acknowledge existed! Apparently, someone had recommended them to help with whatever they're dealing with right now?! Hello?!?!?!
Also... Luo Binghe's back. And in Huan Hua. It hasn't even been 4 years, what the fuck??? And he also knows about his Shizun's death. Which is. Uh. Not good.
According to Luo Huachen's network, there's been sightings of MBJ and SHL too.
Happy LGBT Health Awareness Week, everyone! I hope you’re taking care of yourselves and feeling safe and comfortable wherever you are in your journey with your identity and your relationships. No matter what stage you’re at, you deserve support, understanding, and kindness. 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
