#snirius headcanons

[dadadurmut]

Sirius who, ironically, would have been the type of son Tobias Snape had always wanted.

Severus who, ironically, would have been exactly the kind of heir Walburga was looking for.

And there are still people who don’t understand this ship, it’s crazy.

[literally-ahammer]

Guilty Sirius x Affected Severus.

Severus, who sneaks a look at himself whenever he walks by a mirror. Severus, who thinks no one notices him shrink in on himself. Sirius, who does notice. Sirius, who now feels guilty, who has to deal with the fact that he's part of the reason for this.

Sirius, who traces over Severus' face with his thumb. Severus, who shifts away before he can get to his nose.

Severus, who only wears long sleeves and pants, who refuses to show even a little skin after SWM. Sirius, who feels his eyes sting every time he notices Severus put back clothes with short sleeves. Sirius, who feels his shoulders sag whenever it's hot out, who sees Severus suffering in the heat.

Severus who washes his hair twice a day, leaving his skin dry and damaged, same with his hair. Sirius, who has to tell him how bad that is for him, who has to swallow past the lump in his throat.

Severus, who hates crying. Severus, who burrows his head in his pillows and blankets so he won't be heard. Severus, "Sorry for snivelling." Sirius, who feels his stomach drop every time. Sirius, who holds him close, even though Severus refuses to turn around.

Sirius, who is cursed with having to watch Severus suffer because of him, even after all these years.

[inthemoodforblastt]

What reaction do you think Tonks and Lupin would have had if Sirius and Snape had had something sexual romantic during their time in Grimmauld Place?

Honestly, I think Remus would have smoked three packs of cigarettes because he’s got both of them pretty well figured out and has known them long enough to know that whatever happens between them always equals drama. And if that drama also involves emotions and sex, then multiply it by a million. I think he’d be like “I’m too old for this shit” and basically wonder why, in the middle of his depression and all this war stuff, these two are suddenly doing that, and he’d basically stay very avoidant, like “I don’t want anything to do with this, please no.” Kind of like, no judgement but I’m out.

And Tonks, I think she’d be delighted because she’s super fujoshi-coded and probably into toxic yaoi, and she’d see it like a soap opera and want to gossip about it with Remus, but Remus is way too psychologically stressed to deal with any more nonsense in life. But I can see Tonks being very shippy, like watching them tear each other apart and thinking “this is exactly the content I deserve.”

[maxdibert]

Snirius in an AU where both Sirius and Severus survive the war?

Literally the greatest dream of Harry James Potter.

Basically, Harry as a semi-adult but acting like the average protagonist of '90s kids' movies, trying to set up two adults to become his parents, while Ginny is completely confused, and Hermione and Ron just decide to assume that this is how orphans deal with post-traumatic stress.

[literally-ahammer]

Everyone being convinced that when Sirius and Severus get together, it's toxic, but it's just the most domestic relationship ever.

Like, Severus seems a bit upset. Everyone— The marauders and Lily— are gripping their seats. Sirius hands him a blanket, his book, and sits next to him. They all let out a massive sigh of relief when Sirius kisses Severus' forehead, an arm wrapped around him.

They had an argument? Everyone is convinced that one of them is going to come out with bruises. Instead, Severus walks over, 'I'm sorry I overreacted.' 'It's alright, I understand now. I should've taken your feelings into account. We'll do better next time?' 'Mhm.' and everyone is just mind blown.

Maybe they invite people over for dinner. Everyone is super nervous, but they walk into music playing in the kitchen, Sirius dancing terribly, and Severus doubled over with laughter while the stove simmers.

Severus gets a cold, nothing major. Sirius is texting his friends, asking for food recipes for sick people, he's buying the best medicine, etc.

-

I get the appeal of toxic Snirius, but I can't see them ever being toxic. They'd be too sickeningly in love with each other to hurt one another after they start dating.

[literally-ahammer]

Snirius except Sirius is trying to win Severus over in the stupidest ways. Just being absurdly down bad for him. While James' is chasing Lily, Sirius is actively chasing Severus. Literally.

He shows up to his house in the summer, luckily his Dad's away, singing a terrible love song with flowers.

Flying class, which I suspect is pretty similar to PE, he's claiming Severus to be on his team. The marauders are absolutely admonished by his sudden interest, but somehow supportive.

There's random love notes, flowers, gifts, etc.

Severus thinks this is all one big prank on him, one he's not gonna fall for and Sirius is literally so down bad for him.

[inthemoodforblastt]

What are your Snirius Headcanons?

Some general things, although for me this kind of stuff always depends on the story you want to tell. Ship dynamics always depend on context for me, but speaking very broadly:

Doomed from minute one. Nothing good is going to come out of this, not for them and not for the rest of humanity either.

Except for the sex. The sex is probably amazing. Mostly because the more they argue, the more they sleep together.

As a general rule, they almost never agree on anything, and that's for the best, because if they ever do agree on something and that thing requires them to take action, God help us all.

They constantly bring out the worst in each other, and weirdly enough that's exactly what attracts them. It's not an "I want to fix him" dynamic, it's an "I want to make him worse" dynamic. In a way, they like not having to perform goodness around each other. They both have very dark sides that they usually have to mask in order to seem socially acceptable, but around each other they don't need to because they know they're both terrible people, so it's actually kind of liberating.

Sirius is very much the type to let everything out, while Severus keeps everything bottled up, so there's a huge clash of misunderstanding there. Especially socially, because Sirius is good at parties and people, and Severus absolutely hates all of that.

Sirius drinks more; Severus handles alcohol better.

They both have awful senses of humour, and if they ever stop using it against each other and choose a shared victim instead, that person will probably end up in therapy that very afternoon. You do not want those two teaming up and saying horrible things because together they're more toxic than Chernobyl.

They physically fight more than once. Sometimes they have sex afterwards, sometimes they have a drink instead. Depends on the day and the mood.

They're the kind of couple who mentally exhausts everyone around them because everything always ends in drama. The sort of people where if they show up together at a gathering everyone is quietly praying they don't start something today, because if they do, they somehow turn their problem into the problem of every living being present. They completely drain everyone's energy.

Divorced energy even when they aren't in crisis. Their stable periods basically feel like exes who get along and sleep together, but still: divorced energy.

They're both unbelievably stubborn and absolutely incapable of backing down, and both always have to get their own way, each using different methods. So living together is basically a battlefield.

Fascination and an incredibly codependent attachment to that battlefield.

They're both comfortable operating within conflict because they basically grew up in environments full of conflict, so that's what they learned. Sirius doesn't know how to relate without imposing himself and shouting; Severus doesn't know how to relate without being defensive. Pure Molotov cocktail.

Both of them are girl-dad coded, but in completely opposite ways.

You can always tell from their faces when they can't stand someone or don't want to be somewhere, and neither of them ever hides it. So if they both dislike the same person, they'll spend the entire evening staring at them with complete disgust.

If they live together, their house is an absolute disaster. You'd walk in and immediately want to die because of how messy it is. Sirius is a posh guy who doesn't know how to fold a shirt, and Severus is depressed and sometimes completely gives up on everything. Absolutely terrible.

[inthemoodforblastt]

Hey, do you have any Snirus headcanons? I’ll take literally anything

Mmmm I don’t think much about the ship itself, but things I imagine would make sense:

Sirius falls first. And he’s insanely obsessive, like king of possessiveness and jealousy, because at the end of the day that dog nature is just who he is.

Severus falls later, and he’d always have an internal conflict he could never fully let go of, so the relationship would probably end terribly.

They’d very likely be one of those dysfunctional on-and-off couples for life. They can’t be together, but they always end up hooking up again. Completely toxic and dysfunctional.

The kind of couple that, if they’re in your friend group, eventually everyone gets sick of them because they’re constant drama.

A big part of what keeps them hooked is probably the fact that the sex is really good.

Trust issues from Severus 24/7.

It’s better when they’re mad at each other, because if they’re mad at someone else specifically, that person is absolutely finished.

If they’re in a good mood and functioning as a team, they’re the worst because they’re both savage bitches with their opinions, the kind of couple at a party who look at you, judge you, and destroy you.

They feed into each other’s extremely dark humor to the point they could genuinely traumatize the people around them.

Trust Sirius for the fun and Severus for the safety.

Both of them are girl!dad coded.