#source: ghosthoney

[sondrawr]

“Everybody’s like, ‘where have you been?’ I’ve been really busy focusing on getting hotter. I have Invisalign now. Teeth are about to be the straightest thing about me.”

— Kyle Brooks, probably

[demons-incorrect-alw]

Munkustrap: You got a ghost pepper? You do know that has more than a million Scoville, right?

Pouncival: I won’t let that stop me, because I don’t know what that means! *crunch*

[funkylittlebidiot]

Peter: you bought a ghost pepper? You do know that has more than 1 040 000 scoville, right??

Harley: I won’t let that stop me because I don’t know what that means *crunch*

[incorrectpowerrangersquotes]

Bridge: Is that an ice cream truck?...it's like 2 am...

*goes outside*

Bridge: Hello?

Broodwing: Hello!

Bridge: Do you have any of those sad Sponge Bob ice creams?

Broodwing: Oooh, actually, I don't have any iced creams.

Bridge: What?

Broodwing: I have sunglasses!

Bridge: Oh. Uhm, can I see the sunglasses?

Broodwing: Hehehehehehehe, no.

Bridge: Why not?

Broodwing: I'm a little worried that you'll pick a frame that doesn't best flatter your face. You should take, uh...oh! These ones.

Bridge: Okay...okay yeah these are nice!

Broodwing: I know.

Bridge: How much?

Broodwing: How much what?

Bridge: How much money for the sunglasses?

Broodwing: You can just trade me something personal that you deem worthy of the same value.

Bridge: Um...oh! I have this little owl figurine.

Broodwing: *gasps* Sold! Gimme gimme gimme gimme. Please.

Bridge: Bye. Thanks for the sunglasses?

Broodwing: Thank you for your business.

[fairytail-incorrectquotes]

Gray: I've been feeling a little down in the dumps for the past-

Gray: ...

Gray: ...

Gray:

Gray: 26 years?

[hxuse-xf-black]

Lucy: I asked Lavender what her favorite childhood hobby was and she said ‘fire’

Lucy: So I got her a fire pit for her birthday and at first it was really cute and innocent- she’d send me pictures of burnt sweet potato which is totally fine

Lucy: But that’s when the stealing began

Lucy: She’d scour the neighborhood for dead trees and drag them home. She’d drag me on a long walk just because she’d seen some sticks next door.

Lucy: Do I have plans to stop her? No.

Lucy: Because I enjoy s’mores, and the opportunity to eat s’mores in this household has risen by 200 percent.

[elvencantation]

Violet: my name is Violet and i’ve created a monster

Violet: let me explain: this is my girlfriend Arkady. one time, i asked her what her favorite game was to play when she was growing up and you know what she said? fire. so for her birthday, i got her a fire pit

Violet: things started out pretty innocent. she would disappear for long periods of time and send me pictures of burnt sweet potatoes, but that was okay

Violet: then she bought a small power saw. THEN the stealing began

Violet: well, kind of. she began scouring the neighborhoods for dead trees that were being thrown away so she could drag them home and burn them

Violet: yesterday she said she wanted to go on a long walk, but it was only because she saw sticks next door

Violet: she also bought a small hatchet, which was a little concerning but um, i take full responsibility for enabling all of this

Arkady, in the background: successful. i’m so successful!

Violet: do i have plans of stopping her? no

Violet: because i like s’mores and the uh, the opportunity to eat s’mores in this house has increased by like, 200%

[incorrect-promare-quotes]

Gueira: Hey Meis would you still love me if I was a worm?

Meis: I would... put you in my hand and play with you... and feed you to my fish.

Gueira: What if I was a 30 foot tall skeleton... covered in fire?

Meis: Mm... I would cook... cook... potato on you.

Gueira: Hm. okay. Good to know.