#source: incorrectbatfam

[moonyswarmsweaters]

Remus, to young Harry: You know Sirius and I are gay, right?

Harry: Yes, I know.

Remus: Okay, what does "gay" mean?

Harry: Very very old.

[incorrect-targaryens]

Maekar: Yesterday, all of my kids in Summerhall. Maekar: Today, none of my kids in Summerhall. Maekar: What are they planning?

[cinnamonzor]

Caleb, sick: [pours Nyquil and orange juice in his coffee]

Caduceus: You would make a fascinating toxicology lesson.

[themiraculousladyblog]

Chat Noir: *randomly hugs Marinette*

Marinette: What are you doing?

Chat Noir: Appreciating the little things in life.

Marinette:

Marinette: Die.

[soullessbullshit]

Ayrenn: I officially declare today Casual Fredas.

Ayrenn: [rips off pants to reveal Hawaiian shorts underneath]

Courtier: It's Tirdas.

[kaitcreates]

The Blackthorn Family running a restraunt

Julian: The head chef barking orders at everyone and analyzing every dish.

Mark: The dishwasher who basically fills the whole kitchen in a cloud of steam

Helen: The bartender because she's the only one legally allowed.

Aline: The hostess who sits people she doesn't like by the bathrooms

Dru: The rollerskating waitress balancing 8 hot plates on her arms and smiling through gritted teeth

Livvy: The finance guy drowning in receipts because people can't be bothered to add their own tips

Ty: The pastry chef who actually knows the difference between macaroons and macarons

Tavvy: They legally can't make him do anything except wipe down the menus

Emma: The customer who's there so often she's on a nickname basis with everyone else

[teenwolfpackincorrectcaptions]

Peter: What would you like?

Derek: I would like my son to act like an adult for once.

Peter: I meant for dinner.

Eli: Dinosaur chicken nuggets.

(source)

[natsskydivingcrew]

Steve: You have to believe me!

Bucky: Steve, you are the last good person on this earth. I would believe cartoon birds combed your hair this morning.