#sp dom

[mbti-darling]

people often mistake self care in any form or shape as inherently equivalent to self preservation instinct. it's not.

sp is primarily concerned with survival and resource needs. most of the time, self care will only become a concern when it's the necessary resource or a tool to resource gathering. otherwise, it's a waste of time and energy and hardly will become a concern.

a sp who doesn't rely on their looks for survival will probably not invest time in money in extensive beauty care. a sp with no signs of illness of fragile health state won't probably be concerned about eating and exercising much. a sp whose mental health do not affect their productivity may not be concerned about health care management.

[anime-addictt]

I'd say I do see the status of a person, but that isn't exactly my main focus. if a person is outcasted, I might still pursue them if I like them. it would be more enjoyable if the person has a higher social standing, but I will still be interested in forming a connection with them and if they spark me enough I'd prioritise them.

"Do you enjoy the rush that you get when you actually click with a person?"

This is one of my main goals of seeking friendships and relationships. if there isn't a rush, I feel like something is missing and if there isn't anything that makes me stay, I'll leave the friendship/relationship. I prioritise connections that give me a rush, mentally, emotionally or physically and call them my best friend or potential partner.

"As soon as you click, do you have this need to know everything about them ?"

Yes. I tend to share about myself more if I'm interested in someone, and I want to know all about them. it's like bearing my true self with the person and vice versa. this is also one of the main goals of making connections for me, feeling comfortable enough to share everything with the other. I'm almost always digging for something more to learn about the person.

'Do you struggle prioritizing positions, connections, and interests when you get hooked on to someone?'

I tend to prioritise the person I'm hooked onto. other connections I might give little attention to after I find a person to hook on to. in fact, I also tend to always be hooked onto something if I can't find a person to hook on to, draining the life out of it. that's how I operate.

Hmm...now that you've talked about yourself a bit more, I do see some hints of sx.

But since I don't know you personally, or haven't seen you interact with the world, I don't think my typing would be accurate.

But here are a few more things that might help:

See what your connections are based on. I have friends who on first glace might come off as sx-users, however their primary method of connection is through compatibility, and interests, which makes them so-users an sx-blind. They enjoy finding people who prefers being a part of a group that they are interested in. A lot of them would rather play the social game of 'getting to know' than destroy the concept of boundaries when they are talking to someone.

What makes you paranoid ? Does it bother you when your partner is careless about finances, security, safety (Note, this would look different based on your enneagram type, but the fundamentals are usually the same)? Does it bother you when you can't connect with your partner through similar interests? Does it bother you when you can't introduce them to your friend group? This might be superficial, but while finding a partner, is them following the dating culture a very important aspect to you? Or, is it important that your partner matches your energy level, which is extremely intense, and self-consuming(as absurd as it sounds, that's exactly what it feels like to have sx)? Do you find yourself annoyed when the said person isn't bound to you, or if you can't be bound to them? Would you immediately reject someone, or be extremely upset if your partner or anyone you are interested in gets overwhelmed by your energy, or sometimes calls it unhealthy because, it's weird to feel that way?

Feel free to ask more questions. I'll try my best to answer them.

[istj-hedonist]

what the internet thinks what being an sp-dom is like:

what sp-doms actually are like:

[counterphobes]

Spso real/fictional examples (part 2)

Harry Styles

Rosamund Pike

Michelle Pratt (How to get away with murder)

Eve (Killing Eve)

Chadwick Boseman

Dwayne The Rock Johnson

Dr Carr (Mindhunter)

Beyonce

Negan (walking dead)

[typology-theories]

What's your take on sp/so? I feel like there's a lot of misconception about that stack. People say one of the biggest sp dom traits is being reserved and private but would that happen as well with a contraphobic ennea and an extroverted mbti?

I dont have a "take" on Sp/so. My opinion on it is that it is overrated for stupid reasons, and that it is not best or worst than any other. But you're right, there are still a lot of misconceptions around it, and more so because there are still disagreements and a blurry territory when it comes to IVs.

Personally, the main misconception i noticed surrounding this stack is as follow:

The idea that Sp = Withdrawn, and so thinking Sp/so are automatically introverted whatever their type.

This is the worst lie ever. If someone is withdrawn, look at their core and fix. Withdrawness is caused by enneatypes, not IVs. I mean, there is a whole ass triad named as withdrawn, guess why! Sp makes people selective over what they share. Their goal is to preserve, but "what" they want to preserve is dependent of their core and fixes. Soc makes them decide what they share in order to gain more ways to preserve X core goal. So, yes, it makes them reserved, but reserved and withdrawn are two different behaviors.

Reservedness does not make one less sociable, or actually introverted, but as said above, more picky with who and what they share in their discussions. Withdrawness on the other hand consists of an actual act of retreating from whatever situation or people they are involved with, which is connected to typical introversion. Therefore, Sp dominance means in Sp/so that it makes them rather agile and selective in how they converse, but not necessarily introverted in the classical sense of this word.

To come back on your question, yes this reservedness will affect the display of reactivity and "expected" extroversion. Sp controls the flow of energy shared and given, in dominant position it means the priority is therefore to control what is given and taken. So, in an extroverted reactive type (4,6,8), Sp/so will make their reactions much more controlled, however it doesn't make them less demonstrative of their emotional reaction. They will let you know very promptly as any reactive type (especially with dom extroverted function) that what you did reactivated them. It will simply be a Controlled Display, but still a Display of Right Now I am X Emotions and it Displeases Me. Reactivity doesnt mean explosion, it means displaying the emotions the moment it is felt. But an Sp/so reactive type could very well explode if Sp determined that to restore and preserve whatever they aim for they need to show you your place (x soc). It is simply much more reserved about it, since they know exploding is energy taxing. Think Sp as kinda calculating.

Cp enneatype Sp/so simply counter act in a much more steady way, but overall it doesnt do much of a difference. They are still cp and so proactive against their fear. People tend to confound cp types with reactive components (wing, fixes), this is why i spoke of 4,6,8 specifically. But in the end, it is not the same deal, and cp is not a demonstration of affect like reactive type are described to be.

So, it is true it will make an Exxx 4/6/8 type more tempered on the outward, but it won't make them less demonstrative or reactive, it depends of the circumstances and how to attain one's goal. The way they will be reactive will simply be different but nonetheless a quick reaction to let you know they got triggered. And their dom extroverted function will still be as outward as any extroverted function, but might not be as messy as a soc or sx dominance would do as those two exploit differently the energy within (ex. emotions) and around them. They will therefore not be less extroverted or suddenly become introverted, they will simply be less Loud and messy, which shouldn't be a qualitative to determine extroversion, cp or reactivity to begin with.

I'd reinforce that the level of introversion and withdrawness is more dependent of the cognitive type and enneagram core and fixes, rather than IVs. Even tho IVs affect how those energies manifest and are displayed, the actual level of energies depends on those aforementioned aspects. At this point, it is all about nuance and it can get hard to figure out when all those little details aren't well defined.

The other point i could highlight is how sx blindness overall is misinterpreted even in Sp/so, but id rather address the issue in another post. Just know that Sp/so are not soulless people devoided of aspirations and ambitions, those are fundamental human needs, so we all got that. They just do it their way, as any stacking.

I hope it could help, if you want more info or explanation, don't hesitate to ask and precise what else you want uwu

[dasaene-archive]

ok I know you all are probably real sick of me talking about this, but the differentiation between sp/so and sp/sx is wildly fascinating. Because from my experience, being sp dom can get you confused for either so or sx, because people defend themselves (sp dom) in ways that so or sx connect with others. Obviously this is partially due to their secondary fix, BUT I think sp itself mimics both. To remain a private, secure person, you have to be able to network (typically so) with people in a way that diverts them from your true self, but also avoid certain people by relying on passions or pre-built connections you actually like (typically sx). That’s why I think so many sp doms are confused by whether they have sx or so, because if they grew up in an environment where they had to learn both ways of protecting themselves, it’s less clear.

I figured out I had an so fix because my interests and passions (art, writing, violin) took the back burner to be able to get good grades. Why did I get good grades? My dominant Ni was like “your goal isn’t to get into an Ivy League school or anything, but in case you ever decide to, these grades will keep all your options open,” and I found it easier to get along with my teachers and peers if I continued to push myself in such a way. None of them knew the full extent of how horrible it was for my mental health, but I still went forward and did it, preserving my Ni ideals of future security (sp) while maintaining a mask (so). I thought I might have an sx fix because I resented not being able to do my passions and blamed society because of my decisions, but my decisions felt like obligations that I wasn’t willing to shirk in the first place like how I believe a person with an sx fix would. That whole “down with society” thing isn’t necessarily just associated with an sx fix like I was led to believe. I personally think that being sp dom made it so what I liked to do to feel safe and happy (again, art, writing, violin) was confused with having an sx fix.

[istj-hedonist]

Would an sp-dom 9 necessarily be as good at self-care/basic survival as other sp-doms? I feel like some 9s with that instinct would be prone to doing with sp-needs what 9s do with everything, and just backburnering the concerns other sp-doms would consider vital in favor of their next hit of weed/food/internet/dumb videos--still all sp-ish activities to prioritize, but not necessarily the kind they SHOULD.

An important thing to understand about instincts is that instincts are not really “what we are naturally good at”, but instead “what we naturally value as important for survival”.I mean, usually we are also good at our main instinct, simply because practice makes perfect and valuing something you will repeat it a lot. But functions and enneatype can make it easier/ more difficult to be good with acting according to your instincts.

Also “self-care/survival” can mean a lot of different things. Nature offers plenty of different ways to avoid getting harmed and so of course a 9′s idea of “self-care” looks wildly different from an 8′s or 7′s or 6′s idea of the same concept.A 9′s idea of sp is “stay in your comfort zone / out of trouble / play dead so nobody notices you” and many 9s are excellent at this lol.

sp ≠ being a responsible personsp = “treat yourself, your own well-being is more important than social reputation or having intimate connections”

that being sp-dom often correlates with being a responsible person by society’s standards is really more of a coincidence than the actual goal

[istj-hedonist]

Is it common for sp dominants or so blinds to suddenly leave a relationship for similar or the same reason?

yes that’s fairly common, especially if they didn’t have much experience in relationships before.

sp-doms leave a relationship when they feel overwhelmed by all the sx- or so-expectations and feel that it threatens their survival in any way.like a snail coming out of their shell, curious to see what engaging with their second instinct offers them, becoming deeply invested in sx- or so-things, often even more than someone with that respective dominant instinct, literally spending all their time and money and feelings on it, but then suddenly realizing how vulnerable this made them and then with lightspeed retreating back into their lonely but safe comfort zone.

this realization that they had tasted too much of their second instinct and they need to “abort mission” is usually equally surprising and sudden to the (unexperienced) sp-dom as it is to the other people involved. since sp-doms logically put their own survival first; make clear cuts without hesitation, and don’t give others time for adjustment (like sx- or so-dom would do), it makes them appear colder, harsher and more egoistical in that regards.