Feb 4, 2025
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All the amazing things you can do out of spite
Oh...spitefulness. Such a strong emotion. It can both ruin you and lead you out of your misery. It breaks your limits as if they never existed. It frees you. It could be such a rude word for someone who's never been hurt. But they don't understand. All the pain that's been growing inside you finally being alowed to go away. Resuscitating your body from the coma it's been in since the accident. You just can't help feeling relieved after doing anything out of spite. It helps your soul grow and that's the most amazing thing about it all. It's amazing in the most terrible way possible but damn...it feels so right. You have to be selfish sometimes. You cannot always be the bigger person if that means that you're never going to be able to pull yourself back together again. It's a way to cheat life and heartbreak. There comes a day in everyone's lives when you just stop for a second and realize that you've sacrificed yourself one too many times. So if hurting someone at least as bad as they did helps you move on and cures the ache that's been keeping your heart awake for so long, then just go for it. The feeling you get afterwards, that's what pure, genuine freedom feels like. You've finally done something only for your own well being. And that is the most amazing thing you can do out of spite.
@inkstay
I (18F) took a different flight from my friends (both 18F) and now they won't talk to me?
A few weeks ago, I went on a trip with two of my friends, Sarah and Molly, to California for a graduation trip. We flew out of our home state on Monday with no problems, so it made us feel better about when we would have to fly out. Our returning flight home was Thursday at seven pm. When we picked that flight, we decided that we wanted to go to a beach since we had basically the whole afternoon.
On Thursday, we got to the beach around noon and lay out for the first couple of hours we were there. Around three, we were walking around by the shops in the area, and I got a message saying that our flight got delayed by an hour. Once I saw that, it immediately made me nervous, and when I told them, I could tell that Molly was too. Sarah, on the other hand, said something along the lines of "that sucks, but at least we have more time to spend at the beach." We had originally planned to leave the beach around five, and I told them that I wanted to leave at the same time, but Sarah strongly opposed that and said that she didn't want to spend all day at the airport. I didn't respond, and we went back to sit down at the beach.
Since I booked the flight, they asked me to call the airline to try and get some information about what was happening. I called the airline, and to my horror, it was an AI customer service. It took me almost five minutes to get anywhere with it, and it didn't give me any new info. I then tried calling the airport to see if I could talk to someone at the ticketing counter, but they have you call the airline directly. At this point I was even more anxious, and when I went to talk to Sarah and Molly again, Sarah said that she still didn't want to leave early.
Maybe 20 minutes later I got another message that our flight got delayed by another hour, so our departure was at nine now. Sarah and Molly called their parents where we were sitting, but I went somewhere else to call mine because Sarah was making me very frustrated. As I was talking with them, I told them that if Sarah didn't want to leave still, I was considering taking an Uber myself to get to the airport. My parents said that they would rather that I didn't, but reassured me that if Sarah didn't want to leave, that was the better choice for me. When I went back to Sarah and Molly, I said that I wanted to leave, and they both agreed at this point, so we ended up leaving the beach.
When we got to the airport, we went to the ticketing counter to talk to an agent, and she said that they didn't think our flight would get delayed again, but if it did, the delay would be for the next day because the airline doesn't cancel their flights. After that, we went through TSA and got to the gate. We were there for just over an hour when I got a text saying that our flight got delayed to Friday at 1 pm. We were calling our parents and trying to figure out a hotel for the night. The hotel we ended up staying at had a shuttle that went from the airport to the hotel, so we didn't have to pay for an Uber, yay.
Friday morning, when we were getting ready, I got another text saying that our flight got delayed by half an hour. Again, Sarah said that we had 30 more minutes to do stuff, but I told her again that I would rather be stuck at the airport. When we got back to the airport, we ate lunch and eventually boarded our plane. Ten minutes after getting on, we had to get off due to maintenance issues. About 20 minutes later, the gate agents said that the flight wasn't leaving that day. We were waiting in line to talk to them to ask questions about canceling the flight and refunds when we all called our parents. Sarah's mom was looking at getting another hotel, and Molly's mom was looking for a flight for Saturday out of LAX that we could take. On the other hand, my parents said that there was a Delta flight leaving in an hour going to a different airport in our home state. When I told Sarah and Molly this, they both said that it was too expensive and that they would rather go to LAX. I told my parents that they didn't want to take that flight. My mom asked if I just wanted to go by myself, and I said yes.
When I told Sarah and Molly that my parents were booking me the Delta flight, they both got upset, and Molly walked away. I told them that I was really sorry that I was leaving them, but I just wanted to get home. And I get that they also wanted to get home, but my parents were offering me a way to get home that night, and I was going to take it. We had gotten $200 compensation from the previous day, and I told them that I would give them that money to help pay for their flights and stuff since their parents weren't buying their new flights and hotel.
When my flight landed that night, I talked to them about canceling our original flight and getting the refund. They got home Saturday at noon; now I feel like I should have apologized to them again when I saw that they got home, but I didn't. That first week after we were all home, I wasn't necessarily talking to Molly, but we were sending each other reels and tik toks. Sarah, on the other hand, wouldn't respond to anything I sent to our group chat. Now Molly isn't responding to things I send her. I get that we're all busy, but it's been days since we've interacted. I honestly don't feel like I did anything wrong by taking a different flight from them, but since they're not talking to me, I feel like I should write an apology to them. I honestly don't know. All the people in my life that I've talked to said that I didn't do anything wrong, but if I didn't, then why aren't they talking to me? Again, I really don't know what to do or if I should do anything at all.
Your friends are overreacting and being pretty spiteful. It's not like you ditched them in a bad situation, like you flew out and they had to sleep in the midst of a wildfire or bullets or something. Worst case scenario, they slept in the airport (been there, done that, it's not amazing but it's certainly survivable). So this is one of the rare occasions when the apology that's best to give is "I'm sorry I hurt your feelings by flying out earlier. I didn't realize it would impact our friendship this badly. Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?" and judge if their request, if any, is reasonable or if it reveals something more about these friendships that should make you think twice. You didn't do anything wrong. Hopefully a little time will smooth things over.
I’m so proud of myself.
Someone put a note on my car telling me that if I have a permit to this parking lot, to park on “my side” of it.
And this parking lot is a lot of the two apartments across from each other and a restaurant.
Sometimes, I park in any open space because of the hustle and bustle of the restaurant. And I’m not going to move my car after 8pm, especially to move it one space over.
For context, i have lived here for almost three years and it’s never been a problem. I’m sure it’s just this guy is mad I’m in “his spot” which has no reserved spot sign or anything of the sort.
It’s an open lot.
Im tempted to tape this letter on the door of the other building and just write:
“Bite me”
Ooh! A spite journal would be so much fun!
