which bg3 companions are getting stoned?
a continuation of this post.
these are my fun little carefree headcanons about the BG3 companions getting stoned at camp with tav + i got carried away with the romance vibes ~
nsfw mdni 18+ only
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preface: in this headcanon, tav is a frequent smoker. so if you aren't a stoner like this you may not relate. i really tried to make this as platonic as possible but i can't control myself, i'm in love with everyone. this is just silly and lighthearted and a little bit fantasy so the weed effects are exaggerated. but for some realism, let's say tav had some weed left in their pocket from before the nautiloid, and now they have to loot it from certain places until they get to the city—so that's how they always have a supply.
my qualifications: i've been daily stoner for years + i have over 1,000 hours in this damn game
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here ya go
Astarion: before meeting tav, he has never smoked and even considers it to be a tasteless activity. he's above it, it smells, it slows you down too much, he said... but he finally agreed to smoke with tav one evening at camp. one puff, and that's it.
tav passes him the blunt while they sit around the fire, by themselves. he takes the biggest hit without intending to and descends into a coughing and hacking fit (he's so cute when he's coughing a lung up). he's embarrassed at first and this may be the first time tav has seen a vampire go red in the face! but after a minute, he really chills out.
tav and astarion, stoned and feeling silly—yes he's fucking stoned off his one hit—together in his little tent kicking their feet in the air, giggling and whispering. tav says something a little extra funny and astarion lets out a genuine hearty laugh (you know the laugh). playful tav and astarion shoving and pushing a little bit, laughing until they're out of breath. astarion realizes he is sooo thirsty and tav is just like yeah, that's how it goes :) blood munchies ~ he takes his sweet time drinking from tav, and they end the night with a nice, bloody kiss.
after this evening, astarion has a new attitude for smoking. he still says he's above it, but tav makes him take a hit every once in a while bc he's staring and they know he wants to... maybe he'd say something about how tav's blood tastes a little different after smoking, or he complained the next day that he was moving too slowly. but tav can tell he enjoyed his time.
Shadowheart: she agreed to hit the blunt night #1 and ever since, she partakes with tav every night. she's super chill, very mellow and cool. but then she'd get to yappin. unlike some people, shadowheart actually gets louder when she's high. she is giddy and excitable and silly, and she laughs and giggles and snorts at everything!!
i think she does have experience with smoking (but she forgor) so maybe she has a bit of tolerance built up. she can smoke several bowls back to back, which is totally fine with tav!!
i think tav and shart would have this sort of nightly routine, they both get up around midnight when (almost) everyone else is sleeping so they smoke all by themselves around the last little embers in the firepit. they always try to be quiet and whisper at first, but with every hit they take, they get just a bit louder. after like three or four bowls, they've usually woken somebody else (probably lae'zel) due to how loud they've gotten!
and i can see the moment where shadowheart and tav are giggling so hard, out of breath, and their eyes meet and suddenly they've forgotten what's so funny. in the blink of an eye they're making out in shart's tent, running their hands underneath each other's clothes and quickly tearing them off...
but shart just can't help herself, a lot of the stress is lifted when she's super stoned and she can just enjoy the moment and be herself.
Lae'zel: when tav passes the joint to her, lae'zel doesn't really know what to do. tav explains it in excruciating detail, but now they aren't so sure if she would actually be down to do something like this. after a few minutes of contemplation, tav is delighted when lae'zel takes the lit joint and inhales.
and she holds it. and holds it. and tav is completely dumbfounded as to how she's still holding it in. "um.. lae'zel, you can exhale now!!" so she finally lets out a deep breath, and a cloud of smoke surrounds her.
after tav and lae'zel pass the joint a few more times, lae'zel finds herself... at ease? she wants to... do nothing? she doesn't even feel like training or sharpening her sword anymore.
so she lays back, hands behind her head, and she's looking up at tav with a softness in her eyes that they only see right before or right after she kisses them. she has a sweet, delicate smile—about as sweet as tav's ever seen on her, anyway.and then lae'zel reaches up to caress tav's face, and she says something that tav can't really understand but the way she says it makes their heart skip a beat, or several. and of course she grabs tav's collar and brings them down for a slow, deep, lovely kiss.
the next day, lae'zel wakes up a little later than usual, and a lot groggier, and absolutely starving. she grumbles and shames tav for letting her indulge, because how is she supposed to fight to the best of her ability now? she slept too much, then she ate too much. worst of all, she forgot about her problems for too long...
but later in the day she goes back to tav and apologizes; because of last night, she was actually better rested and relaxed and had a clearer mind. she was able to ease her stress, if only for a little while. but it was enough. i don't think she'd get into the habit of smoking, but like astarion, tav can tell when lae'zel needs to hit the blunt one time and chill.
Wyll: i think he has plenty experience in smoking and enjoys it every now and then. maybe he isn't very open about it with most people, but he realized how chill tav is about it so he allows himself to indulge with them.
i think he probably has his own stash, some kind of really chill blend of herbs and weed that he mixed himself. and he has his own papers and stuff too, so he can always have a joint ready whenever tav wants to smoke.
at camp, wyll sparks up and takes a deep, deep first inhale, and he holds it for a good second. then he exhales slowly, and he coughs just a little. but his coughs are soooo handsome and tasteful. he passes the joint to tav, and their fingers brush against each other softly.. they pass it a few more times before they're done, and they go back to wyll's tent.
he's so relaxed, so chill, so cool. he's practically non-verbal at this point, he's so high. one joint was perfectly enough to get him stoned at the level he enjoys most. but he can find the energy to at least whisper some sweet things to tav ~
when wyll's high, he can be a little bolder with his affection, even more forward than usual. he's never stingy with praise, but it's different now; he's telling tav how soft their hair feels bc he's playing with it, bringing their head close to his face so he can breathe in their scent. his voice, low and hoarse and his throat is a little raw from smoking... he tells tav how beautiful their eyes are, while looking at them through his own half-lidded eyes. he's whispering, and then lets out a quiet, breathy chuckle in tav's ear. and he just needs to be closer. he places a kiss to tav's neck... and he smells so goddamn amazing.
Gale: he has a lot of experience in smoking, and he knows all kinds of different herb combinations and how to get different effects from them. i imagine he has his own pipe, maybe even some sort of magical pipe (🤨)
as i mentioned before, he WILL be putting aphrodisiac herbs in the blunt. even if he won't be partaking during this sesh he is still gonna wanna get freaky with tav and enjoy to experience them like this ;) because while he does enjoy smoking, he really doesn't want to do it as frequently as tav. he's happy to just sit with tav and talk while they get stoned off the blunt he rolled for them.
but those times when he does end up smoking are so special. he's able to just relax and calm down and go quiet. not that tav doesn't want to hear his constant yapping, but this is one of those times when gale is content to just exist in the same space as tav. no words, no awkwardness, just pure comfort. even if gale did have the urge to talk, he's too damn high. it's a lot of "hey, tav, did you even hear what i just said?" and tav is like "gale, you haven't said anything in ten minutes!" "right, right..."
they'll share kisses in his tent, slowly slowly slowly undressing each other, one piece of clothing at a time. sharing a plate of snacks and maybe a bottle of wine as well. and if/when they do end up getting intimate, there are no illusions or charms involved. that's the thing about getting high, it is a very physical sensational human experience, and high sex can be especially physically vulnerable and close. and that's what gale loves about it.
Minthara: she does not smoke and will not smoke. don't even try to convince her.
i think this refusal is actually the result of her knowing her own limits, minthara knows how weed affects her and she's not interested. i think she's had a lot of experience smoking in her past. there are probably very fascinating smoking routines and rituals among the drow and in the underdark; it's altogether too decadent for her, but the humble way tav smokes their little pipes and rolls and wraps is almost cute to minthara.
she understands surface herbs and blends to be very weak compared to those of the underdark, or that they will have a suboptimal effect on herself. she WILL be mixing some poisonous underdark herbs in the weed (without tav's knowledge) and sitting next to tav while they smoke it! she's trying to raise their immunity as usual, but she will be close to them the entire time to make sure they feel safe if any of the poison takes a strong effect on them.
i think in moments where tav is particularly vulnerable, minthara will be a little extra protective of them. she knows when she's really high, she needs that extra bit of security from her comfort person and minthara is overjoyed to give that to tav.
Halsin: this man is high all the time, he doesn't go a day without getting stoned. so his demeanor and behavior probably won't change much after just smoking a bowl or two, which i'd say is his daily average while traveling. but it's enough to relax him, just a little.
just-smoked-two-joints is what i would consider his "default" personality. although, he's probably using his pipe—tav made sure to grab it for him! "oh, my pipe! you retrieved it for me!" "um... this is your pipe...? i mean, this IS your pipe. yeah, here ya go..!"
he's happy he met someone who can share in his habit, but he will smoke tav out EVERY TIME. even after like three blunts or like five bowls he's still wanting to pack another, but he will kindly stop when tav's ready to! he's so excited when they can actually keep up with him, at least for longer than most other people.
those days when he's packing bowl after bowl, he's having a little bit of stress or anxiety and wants to calm it down. he does have a high tolerance and this man is stressed as fuck, of course he's gonna want three full blunts back to back. probably even more. and at the same time, he wants some comfort from tav, who is basically his favorite person. smoking blunt after blunt with your favorite person is the best thing ever <3
those days when he smokes a lot (like, even more-than-three-blunts a lot) he can get extra cuddly and needy. all he wants to do is chill with tav; laying around, eating berries and cheese and honey and bread, smoking some more, and cuddling and fucking throughout the day.
he can locate different types of smokable herbs wherever he goes in nature, so even when his supply runs low he can find more pretty quickly. he always layers his herbs so meaningfully; whether he's packing a bowl or rolling a blunt, he's crafting a work of beautiful, smokeable art.
Karlach: she's so excited to finally have met someone she can just smoke and chill with!! she won't want to start off her day with a smoke, but she loves to end her days this way.
i think she doesn't totally love to smoke, just the relaxation part of it. she's literally a three-puffs-and-done kinda woman, and i respect that. i bet she could handle smoking a lot but avoids it, it probably actually does slow her down and inhibits her reflexes and strength. because of this, her tolerance is fairly low so she really doesn't require a lot to get pretty stoned.
but even if she wasn't partaking with tav, she will still stay with them and keep them company. i'm thinking on one really cold night, tav just wants to smoke outside but it's just sooooo cold... and karlach keeps them warm while they share a blunt ~ i think she will get very quiet during these moments, just breathing in the smoke and chilling, savoring the peace. but at the same time, i think she she would really absorb the energy of the ppl she's with, so when tav is chill she's chill. when tav is laughing so hard their belly hurts, so is karlach.
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okay now my ranking for how much i actually want to smoke with each of them:
halsin sweep. smoking with him would be amazing for me. my ideal stoner companion.
wyll. only second to halsin bc he doesn't want to smoke all day every day. (also im picturing human wyll, as this is how prefer him sorrynotsorry)
lae'zel. she's ONLY below wyll because wyll smokes more frequently and is already very comfortable with it, which is my preference in a smoking partner. but they technically would be equally enjoyable for me.
shadowheart/gale tie. smoking with them would be very enjoyable for me, honestly it probably should be a four-way tie with wyll and lae'zel based on pure enjoyment of the experience but that's not efficient ranking
minthara/astarion tie. i think a sesh with them would be fun, but it's just really not their thing.
karlach
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if u think i should add someone, let me know. if u have any ideas about this please tell me!!! it's okay to disagree, tell me what you think!! please send me asks about getting stupid fucking high with your favorite companion. tbh, i could go on forever about halsin and lae'zel and wyll!!
if u read this far, thank u ily ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡ ‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋ ‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋ ‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋
