So, this was my first day of university.
It went fine. Perfect really. None of my fears came true. I didn't get lost, nor was I late, and none of the teachers seemed to hate me.
Honestly it was a fine day.
Why do I not feel fine.
Why do I still feel anxious and on edge.
It's true that I had forgotten how crowds were overwhelming and horrible because I can't help but think everybody hates me and mocks me and makes fun of me. I had been so talented at avoiding crowds, but now I can't do nothing but face them.
And also there was the fact that it was hard to concentrate. That I didn't understand the instructions in my English class which led me to not do the exercises correctly though I managed to hide that.
And also how I seemed to black out entirely when talking to a teacher. The words weren't mine and I forgot what I wanted to say and I'm a mess. I made a fool of myself. That's all I did.
I don't know.
I hope tomorrow is better.
