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Hellblazer #99

#lmao #john constantine #rich eldridge #straff #hellblazer #jen reads comics #my hellblazer reading #greatest comic hits

Cosmere Villains React to the "Cosmere Villains Poll"

Why, hello, bandwagon. I'd love to come aboard! No, but seriously--the fandom is abuzz (?) with @cosmere-polls' poll about the most evil Cosmere villain (link) which is itself based on a much-clowned-upon Dragonsteel poll with the same villain list. But what about the listed villains themselves? What do they think about this poll?

1. Hrathen

Hrathen: ...I was the villain? Hrathen: A man of faith and firm conviction who ultimately died to save a heretic that he loved? The Sorceress: Didn't you help destroy a couple of countries as part of violent religious crusade? Hrathen: ... Hrathen: Does my last-second change of heart mean NOTHING?

2. The Sorceress

Sorceress: ...Excuse me? Sorceress: I placed curses upon, like, 12 people on a backwater planet that nobody cared about. Sorceress: Plus, the curse I put on Hoid was hilarious and should, if anything, count as public service. The Lord Ruler: That's probably why practically no one has voted for you. Sorceress: NO ONE IS VOTING FOR ME?!

3. The Lord Ruler

Lord Ruler: Wow. Okay. Lord Ruler: So when come into godlike power and use it to save your planet to the best of your ability, you make it onto the "most evil villains" poll. Moash: You created a full-on slave society based on eugenics. Lord Ruler: Yeah, because those people were MEAN to me. Moash: You created multiple species of sentient beings who were directly controlled by your will. Lord Ruler: All I'm hearing is "You're a creative." Moash: You used your powers to break people's will! To suppress technology and free speech and free thought! You created a horrible and cruel society of literal ashy darkness! Lord Ruler: I was very good at maintaining stability, yeah. Moash: Storms, I think *I'd* vote for you!

4. Moash

Moash: ... Moash: So, what? "Being mean to Kaladin" gets all the votes, then? Taravangian: There were also a few high profile murders of beloved characters in there. Moash: Every one of whom killed WAY more people than me! Moash: Is it my black Bridge 4 uniform? Does that make me seem evil? Taravangian: ...I'm pretty sure that's not what's driving the votes. Moash: But I worked so hard on it

5. Taravangian

Taravangian: I accept my place in this poll. Taravangian: Is it not the duty of a king to take on evil deeds so that his citizens can be innocent? Taravangian: Yes, I arranged a lot of murders. Yes, I quote-unquote "betrayed" all humans aside from those in my city. Taravangian: I once tried to murder a choir of annoying children or whatever. Taravangian: You're welcome, humanity, for taking on all that crime to save you! Thaidakar: ...How did the attempted child murder thing help? Taravangian: I knew I shouldn't have mentioned that one.

6. Thaidakar

Thaidakar: ... Thaidakar: ... Thaidakar: What exactly is planned for the second half of Stormlight??

7. Sadeas

Sadeas: So, what? Being mean to Dalinar gets a person on this poll, huh? Sadeas: Or is the lives I "threw away" in the bridge crews? Sadeas: Because Dalinar definitely never killed innocents. Sadeas: Was it the Tower betrayal? Sadeas: Because Dalinar definitely never let his allies down. Sadeas: At least I wasn't drunk while my king was getting killed! Raboniel: "I defended Gavilar" might not work on this crowd. Sadeas: (muttering) This whole thing is rigged.

8. Raboniel

Raboniel: From a human perspective, I can understand my place on this poll. Raboniel: I killed humans. I have killed a lot of humans. Singers as well, because we must use their bodies to return. Raboniel: And how dare I try to end this war at any cost and how dare I try to end it by finally winning it? Straff: Oh stop being huffy. No one is voting for you. Raboniel: I would think not. Raboniel: The people yearn for toxic yuri.

9. Straff Venture

Straff: Fascinating, isn't it? Straff: Small evil, personal cruelty, familial abuse, an utter lack of remorse or sympathetic backstory. Straff: That's what's get people riled up, huh? Straff: In the grand scheme of the Cosmere, I'm just small, personal evil that made YOU mad, the sort of cruelty YOU could experience. Straff: Who votes for world-destroying entities when there's a mean dad on the poll, am I right? Hrathen: ...Now I kind of want to vote for you. Straff: Thank you for making my point.

#cosmere #cosmerelists #I'll admit I REFLEXIVELY voted for Straff and then was like 'Wait why did I do that'#he just. he just made me so mad #but other people are objectively worse...#anyway #Hrathen #Riina #Lord Ruler #Taravangian #Moash #Thaidakar #Sadeas #Raboniel #Straff

Kelsier shrugged. “We’ll spread opposite rumors to make the nobility focus more on each other and less on me. Though, amusingly, Lord Venture encouraged me to search out information about myself. A man could get very confused from this kind of play acting—I don’t know how you do it, Renoux.”

“It is who I am,” the kandra said simply.

…..Kandra????????