(Disclaimer: I personally live day-to-day with bipolar disorder, a mental illness that is disabling.)
Okay, folx, let’s talk about ableism. Let’s talk about Ableism displayed in day-to-day life that “isn’t that bad,” or “is normal”; ableism that “doesn’t affect the big picture.” (This started out as a rant, so please forgive the initial poor quality of it. But, more importantly, PLEASE call me out if anything in this is oppressive etc. in any way.)
Ableism, as you may have guessed from the etymology, is systemic oppression and social bigotry towards people with disabilities. It manifests in many forms, some that people who move through the world with the privilege of being able-bodied/minded may see as “benign” or even “benevolent.” (A concept similar to “benevolent” sexism.) I’m going to use small bits of my life experience and life experiences of friends—with their permission, and their names changed to respect privacy—to help illustrate this and give perspective.
A student I go to school with, Thomas, has Cerebral Palsy. It visibly affects him. That is, people can see by looking at him that it is a disability, it effects the way his body works and/or “does not” work; it also affects his speech. On a regular basis, people will often speak very slowly and/or very loudly when talking to him. Or both. On a regular basis, the same kind of people who speak very loudly and very slowly will talk in cutesy “baby talk” tones. Once, a teacher—a college professor—addressed an able-bodied woman, Linda, instead of talking directly to Thomas, assuming she would “translate.” His response to them is usually super polite, though, despite how gross that behavior is: “I have CP. My body doesn’t work great, but my brain works just fine. Cut it out.”
Why is this ableism? For one people are equating physical disabilities with intellectual disabilities; using “baby talk” when speaking to a grown man is not only insulting, it’s harmful to both people with physical and intellectual disabilities, not to mention infantilizing (in general, or infantilized because of a dis/ability); they see how it affects his body and speech, and assume. The professor I mentioned who used Linda as a “translator” assumed that not only does physical disability equal intellectual disability, or that one is intrinsically connected to the other, but those two things equal incompetency; CP affects his speech, and many people equate any speech impediment with people in d/Deaf communities or people with developmental delay, etc. She—a professor, remember—harbors an idea of an “idealized” disability, an “idealized” version of how a person with X, Y, or Z disability should act and be like. There have been situations when Thomas didn’t fit into ableist people’s “version” of him, they became frustrated and haughty; other times, when he didn’t fit into ableist people’s “version” of him, he suddenly became “inspiration porn.”
Literally every day in the cafeteria someone rushes over and pulls out his chair for him, or grabs him bodily to “help” him move from his chair to the seat. (Okay, not only is that violating his personal space WITHOUT his consent, it also could lead to pain or injury due to CP). Thomas is perfectly capable of moving the all of two inches from his mobility aid to the cafeteria seat.
Why is this ableism? It seems benign enough, right? These are just people trying to do a good deed, right? WRONG. Well, kind of. Though their intent may be good, it violates his autonomy and implies that he could not possibly be self-sufficient because he uses a mobility aid. The same people are the ones who are stunned that he drives a car like a “normal” person, and holds a management position like a “normal” person.
My good friend Kara and her brother Geo have Downs Syndrome. (Now, I hate the term “high functioning” for many reasons, but I’m not sure how else to phrase it). Like Thomas, they experience “benign” ableism on the daily. Usually, unlike the ways people display ableism when interacting with Thomas, they are more turned into “inspiration porn” regardless of what they are doing or how they are doing it. Though they are both grown adults, they both often complimented for doing things a child could do.
“Inspiration porn” is as dehumanizing as the opposite end of the spectrum that is pervasive assumptions about disabled people. The other end of the spectrum is the belief they are “tragic.” When a person with dis/abilities unlike those of an able-bodied/able-minded person varies from the “tragic” trope—which is extremely dehumanizing—the jump to “inspiration porn” is frequent and instamatic—which is no less dehumanizing.
When Kara and Geo are having average human interactions as nearly anybody and everybody would throughout the day, it’s astonishing how many times people interrupt them to tell them “how good their verbal skills are”; “how wonderful it is that you guys have jobs, you must be extra-smart” and other such flack. Kara works as an assistant in a nursing home; Geo works as a night security guard. Neither of those jobs are out-of-the-ordinary, they’re just jobs. However, the jobs that aren’t at all out-of-the-ordinary are suddenly viewed as amazing careers and exceptional positions to hold because they are held by a person with Downs Syndrome. (On a side note, what IS extraordinary is Geo recently passed the police dispatch exam with flying colors; it’s not extraordinary because of his disability, it’s extraordinary because past acquaintances who have taken it and failed tell me it’s pretty difficult.)
“Wow! You’re so inspirational! If you (who is disabled) can do X, Y, or Z, than I certainly can!” That’s not a compliment. Let me reiterate: THAT. IS. NOT. A. COMPLIMENT. It’s pejorative and no less than degrading—you didn’t think you could do the thing, then a person with Downs Syndrome (an intellectual disability) does the thing, and so YOU must be able to do the thing if they can. I’m not sure exactly how to phrase what I mean here very well. There’s a weird belief that it is so amazing that a person who is not “supposed” to be able to do X, Y, or Z due to “what a disabled person should act and be like” does something “normal” people—that is, if a person who “can’t” the thing is actually doing the thing, then a “normal” person, should be able to do the thing with no trouble at all: “inspiration porn”. This is assuming intellectual disability equals incompetence, incapable, less-than. (Media representation of people with Downs Syndrome doesn’t help the concept of an “idealized” person with Downs Syndrome.) This is an ableist person assuming they are better than them because they are “normal” and “fully functioning.”
Remember that picture that was floating around on the intarwebz a while ago—the one that showed a triathlon athlete who used two prosthetic legs with the big obnoxious caption “WHAT’S YOUR EXCUSE?!” Yeah it’s like that.
I, myself, struggle with the depression and anxiety that are comorbid and/or stem from my Bipolar disorder (the psychosis that manifests due to it—“voices”—has been in remission for over a decade, thank goodness). Sometimes this is outwardly visible (in unconscious facial expressions and posture, but also if I’m not taking care of myself my hair won’t be brushed and my clothes will have been on me for a week or more), other times it is not. The anxiety and depression are always there, though, even if they’re not manifesting or I’m not showing outwards signs of them at any given time. Ableist religious people regularly give me phone numbers and addresses to their church; put my faith in God and he will relieve my burdens, just put “it” in His hands and all will be well. More than once, people have suggested that I use crystals or gemstones to “cure” Bipolar. And many, many, many, many times suggestion of any “alternative” treatment is accompanied by lectures of how bad it is to take meds because Big Pharma and I’m harming myself more by putting all those unnatural chemicals in my body.
Why is this ableism? It may at first sound like pretty benign advice. Similar to the others, their intentions are probably good. They’re just trying to help (by letting God into my life . . . newsflash: I was raised Irish Catholic, and still haven’t fully recovered from its contribution to my PTSD), so they must not be ableist, right? WRONG. Well, king of. However “noble” or “benevolent” their intentions may be, lectures on why I need to try it THEIR way, arguments that may be solid to them, implies a belief that because I live with a mental illness I can’t make competent, informed decisions. If I am crazy, how could I do that with all the crazy clouding my view of reality? It seems that people overall harbor, like they do with other disabilities, ingrained parameters that are expectations of what a person with a disabling mental health condition should act and be like. And THEY know better than ME about my disability and how to manage it.
It seems to be a common, pervasive dichotomy about people with depression, anxiety, schizo-affective disorders, etc.—and even just neurotypical people who identify as introverts—that “all we need to do is get out,” “have some fun,” “just smile!” and other such things. I understand the idea behind this, but unfortunately that’s not how it works. In actuality statements like this make me more depressed: I physically/mentally or emotionally/mentally or physically/emotionally can’t do “normal”-people things and there’s no logical reason why I can’t do them. And it truly is difficult to explain something like depression to neurotypicals. They encourage me with statements like “don’t let your depression win!” and “you can’t just let it rule your life!” and “be strong!” and “if you don’t allow it to affect you, than it won’t!” and “Don’t let it rule your life.” For the reasons stated above, these reactions often make me more depressed.
Why is this ableist? It sounds encouraging, they want you to get better. They’re just trying to cheer you up, right? WRONG. Well, kind of. The thing is, it is an ILLNESS, a DISABILITY; that’s what it DOES. Y’know, affect my life, I’m honestly not “letting” it do anything.” This is ableist, however “benign” because it implies that I have more of a level of control over my disability than I do; that in actuality I’m not trying hard enough so it is my fault depression or anxiety impact my quality of life, and my fault for not exercising that perceived control. Also, it severely downplays Bipolar and other mood disorders etc. and what it can do to people. Bipolar disorder, like cancer and diabetes, can be a disability that is potentially fatal—that is, people with Bipolar disorder have very high suicide rates; not only does it downplay what it is, it also delegitimizes lived experiences of people with Bipolar and other mood disorders/mental illnesses because mental illness is “all in your head.” The systemic aspect is that society has created a proverbial hierarchy of disabilities. On this proverbial scale, invisible disabilities and mental disabilities arguably rank lower on the scale than disabilities people can see outwardly—such as physical and intellectual—and thus, in their head, legitimize. If something can’t be seen in some way outwardly, in a way that fits societal designations for X, Y, or Z, than it’s probably not as bad. Right?
The ableist hierarchy society at large internalizes (i.e. ableist actions are not always perceived as such because they are “the norm”; ableism can be an unconscious view and act) and more or less uses as a foundation for “proper” protocol behavior when interacting with people who live with disabilities, hurts ANYONE and EVERYONE forcibly put on the scale. Thomas’s Cerebral Palsy is extremely visible, that is one can look at him and see the impact and severity of the disability, and is one reason ableist people equate something debilitating bodily with something debilitating intellectually—his body doesn’t “work right” so his brain must “not work right,” and that equating and the visible severity is a reason they act as if he is a child.
It is one reason Kara and Geo are objectified, and ultimately boiled down to their disability alone as if it is the only part of their identity—when ableist people are not fully dehumanizing them, they are defining them only in relation to what able-bodied and able-minded people can or can’t do.
This is one reason an ableist society has only marginal boxes for my behavior as an individual with mental illness: either the “ideal” version of the madness of individuals with bipolar, the kind you hear about on the news (if you understand my meaning), or a John Greene novel. When I, or anyone else with mental illness, doesn’t fit into their misguided, well-organized marginal boxes than that persons disabling illness must not be real. It is when a person doesn’t live up to the “standards” set by society for mental illness that it becomes “all in your head.”
This is one reason my friend Amanda gets told how selfish she is when she uses her handicap placard, how “terrible it is that she’s using her grandmother’s handicap pass just so she can be closer to the door.” She does not use the placard all the time, only when the CRPD flares up on high-pain days, but CRPD is an invisible disability, so the assumption there is that she can’t possibly need a handicap plate because they can’t see what her disability is. There is no way for them to “legitimize” why she would need one.
This is one reason individuals I knew in middle-school who were on the Autism Spectrum and non-verbal are said to be “non-communicative” and “non-functioning”—when in reality they can communicate with me and other friends just fine, just not in the ways they’re “supposed” to.
This is one reason my classmates with Asperger’s and Asperger’s itself are defined as “lacking empathy,” when in reality it is a difficulty putting oneself in another’s head—not that they’re unfeeling because their outward expressions (visibility) don’t fit standard “normality” (invisible).
This is one reason Heather, who uses a cane for a mobility aid, “could be worse, at least you’re not in a wheelchair.”
This is one reason ableist people suggest that it is bad or immoral to take meds that have improved my quality of life greatly.
This is one reason it is so much harder to access therapy than it is to access primary care physicians.
This is one reason Jimmy, who has lived all his life with chronic pain from scoliosis, could not get corrective surgery—doctors wouldn’t even entertain the notion—until age thirty when he began getting bone chips from it going untreated.
And this? This was only touching on displays of ableism that aren’t considered ableist; not REAL ableism by society at large. This is merely an outline of the “benign” and sometimes unconscious displays. Imagine how long a piece on the purposeful, direct, conscious, and malicious forms of ableism would be.
