Who's checking up on you but not interacting with you?
Pick a collage intuitively.
1, 2, or 3
Your answers are below.
Pile One
This is someone you shared a real connection with… but somewhere along the line, things stopped lining up the way they should have. The Lovers reversed doesn’t just show separation. It also shows a connection that meant something but couldn’t quite hold itself together.
There’s distance here, but it’s not clean cut. It’s the kind of distance that leaves questions sitting up in the air.
Now with the Queen of Swords reversed, this person has built a wall around themselves. They may come off cold, detached, and/or maybe even a little sharp if you ever cross paths again... but that edge comes from being hurt.
They still check on you though, quietly and consistently.
This is the type of person who watches your posts, reads into your captions, notices your absence but just refuses to be the one to reach out first. There’s pride here, for sure, but there’s also a fear of reopening something they’re not sure they can control.
They tell themselves they’re done... but their actions say otherwise.
Signs: Gemini, Libra, Aquarius
Initials: M, A, L, Q, S
Pile Two
This is someone who didn’t handle things with you in the best way the first time around.
There’s regret here. The 5 of Swords reversed is that realization of “I shouldn’t have done that” or “that didn’t go the way I thought it would.”
And now? They see you differently.
The King of Pentacles shows someone who is either more mature now, or trying to be. They’re focused on being stable, growing, and getting their life together. From a distance, they’re recognizing your value in a way that they may not have before.
They do check on you but this isn’t an impulsive energy. This is someone who would rather say nothing at all than come back before they feel they should. This person might be relying on timing.
They’re watching, thinking, and possibly waiting until they feel more “put together” before ever approaching you again.
Signs: Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn
Possible Initials: T, K, P, V
Pile Three
This person is actively watching you.
The Page of Swords makes that very clear. This is someone who keeps tabs, checks in, and stays aware of what you’ve got going on… without saying a word.
There was conflict here with the 5 of Swords. Like tension, misunderstandings, or a situation where things didn’t end cleanly. (So, you know who this person is. It's not a stranger.)
That’s what makes this more complicated.
Because the 4 of Wands shows that at one point, things between you actually felt good, stable, easy, and like it could’ve turned into something real or long-lasting.
The Wheel of Fortune reversed, though? Timing was off... Something didn’t line up the way it should have, and now it’s left in this unfinished, awkward place.
So instead of fixing it, they just watch.
They go back and forth between missing what you had and justifying why things fell apart. Either way, they haven’t fully let go.
This could 100% not be malicious at all. But I just want to throw a little warning out there because I feel that I need to: If you felt extremely pulled to this collage just be aware that this could potentially be stalker energy and I just want you to stay safe if you feel like this is for you. As mentioned, I believe you'd know who this person is because this is for someone who has had issues with this person.
The Witch's Tree: a tarot spread to help you on your way
by Keziah | Support on Ko-fi (leave a tip, commission a reading)
Whether you’re just starting your journey into witchcraft and are unsure of where your talents lie, or you’re looking for something new to incorporate into your practice, or you’re ready to leave the path you’ve known thus far and start an entirely new journey — the Witch’s Tree Tarot spread can help you on your way.
Pick a Card: The Beauty in Your Darkness: Your Shadow as a Work of Art 🔮🕯️
There’s something hauntingly beautiful about the parts of us we try to hide, the emotions we bury, the memories we avoid, the sides of ourselves that only come out under moonlight. This Halloween season, this reading invites you to look at that hidden side with new eyes. What if your darkness wasn’t a flaw to fix, but a masterpiece in progress?
In this pick a card, we’ll uncover what makes your depth magnetic, how your pain, mystery, and resilience have shaped you into something rare and unforgettable. Each pile reveals the kind of beauty that blooms from within the shadows: the kind that doesn’t fade when the lights go out.
🕯️ Take a breath, center yourself, and choose the group that calls to your soul.
Your darkness is not the end of your light, it’s the canvas that made it possible.
PERSONAL READINGS
left to right
🎃Group 1:
Cards: The sun, 2 of swords, 4 of swords, death (reversed), the high priestess (reversed), and 5 of wands (bottom of the deck)
There’s something mesmerizing about the light that lives inside your shadow. With the sun opening your reading, your darkness isn’t about destruction, it’s about revelation. You are someone whose wounds have taught them how to radiate warmth, even when the world feels cold. The beauty of your shadow lies in how you carry both joy and melancholy in the same breath, how you smile even when your heart trembles. You shine not in spite of your darkness, but through it.
The 2 of swords reveals the silent battles that live within you. You often find yourself torn between your heart and your mind, between the light you show others and the stillness that hides beneath. But this inner tension is what makes your energy magnetic. You hold contradictions gracefully, soft yet guarded, intuitive yet uncertain and that complexity gives depth to your beauty. People sense that there’s more to you than meets the eye.
With the 4 of swords, your shadow knows the language of rest and withdrawal. You’ve learned to retreat, to let silence be your sanctuary when the noise becomes too much. The beauty here is your ability to find peace in solitude, to turn your inner world into a sacred space for reflection and healing. While others fear stillness, you’ve found a kind of art in it, your silence speaks in poetry.
Death reversed whispers of transformation resisted or delayed. Part of your darkness fears change because it asks you to shed identities you’ve grown attached to. Yet this hesitation is beautiful too, it shows your tenderness, your sensitivity to endings. You mourn deeply, you feel deeply, and that depth of emotion is what gives your spirit such intensity. You don’t move on easily, and that’s not a flaw, it’s proof of how much you love, how much you care.
The high priestess reversed reveals a shadow of self-doubt, a fear of your own intuition and inner knowing. There’s a part of you that once was silenced or made to question your own truth. But the beauty here lies in the fact that, even disconnected, your intuition never truly left you, it only waits to be heard again. You’re learning to trust your inner voice, to see your sensitivity not as weakness but as wisdom.
The 5 of wands at the bottom shows that your darkness has known chaos, conflict, comparison, the constant need to prove yourself. Yet from this friction, your artistry is born. You turn tension into movement, struggle into fuel. You’ve learned to channel your battles into creation, to make beauty out of noise. Your passion burns in the places where others would break.
Your shadow is not a curse; it’s your creative force. Every wound, every doubt, every silence, it all weaves together into the masterpiece that is you. The beauty in your darkness is raw, unfiltered, and real. It’s not meant to be hidden; it’s meant to be felt.
So this Halloween season, honor your shadow. Let it speak, let it breathe. Because within it lives the truest version of you, the version that doesn’t need to be perfect to be divine.
🎃Group 2:
Cards: Temperance, the chariot, page of pentacles, judgement.
There’s something sacred and powerful about the darkness within you, it’s not chaotic, but alchemical. With temperance leading your reading, your shadow has mastered the art of balance. You’ve walked through extremes: too much love, too little peace, too many emotions at once. And yet, you’ve learned how to mix fire and water within yourself, how to blend chaos and calm into something harmonious. The beauty in your darkness lies in this quiet mastery, how you take pain and turn it into wisdom, how you move through life like an artist mixing colors until everything feels just right.
The chariot speaks of motion and willpower, but in your shadow, it tells a deeper story, the constant need to stay in control. There’s a part of you that fears stillness because stillness forces you to feel. You’ve learned to keep moving, achieving, proving your strength to yourself and to the world. Yet the beauty here is undeniable: your determination, your fire, your refusal to surrender. Even when your heart feels heavy, you push forward. You are both the storm and the one who rides it.
The page of pentacles adds a note of innocence to this power. Beneath your driven exterior, there’s a soft curiosity that never died. You want to grow, to learn, to create something real and lasting. Your shadow’s beauty lives in how you stay humble before life, even when you’ve seen darkness, you still believe in beginnings. You still plant seeds, you still hope. That is an act of courage.
Then comes Judgement, a card that echoes like a divine calling. Your darkness is tied to purpose; it’s not here to destroy you, but to awaken you. You’ve likely faced moments of reckoning, times where life forced you to look at yourself, to forgive, to choose who you truly want to become. This rebirth is your masterpiece. The beauty in your shadow is that it remembers every past version of you and still believes in redemption.
Together, these cards tell the story of someone who has learned how to integrate both the warrior and the healer, the student and the visionary. Your darkness doesn’t crave destruction, it craves direction. It pushes you to evolve, to create something meaningful out of every scar you’ve carried.
There’s also a sense of destiny around you. Judgement and the chariot whisper that your path isn’t random, you were made for movement, for progress, for guiding others through the same storms you’ve survived. Your shadow becomes art when you use your story to light the way for someone else.
The beauty in your darkness is its clarity, itt doesn’t hide behind illusions. It demands truth, healing, and purpose. You are the kind of soul who doesn’t just walk through the night; you transform it, leaving trails of gold behind.
So this Halloween, honor the part of you that keeps moving forward, even when you’re afraid. Your shadow isn’t something to be feared, it’s the compass that always leads you home.
🎃Group 3 :
Cards: The sun, the high priestess, 6 of wands (reversed), the star, 3 of swords, 2 of pentacles, 7 of cups (reversed)
Your darkness glows with a quiet, mysterious radiance. With the sun and the high priestess appearing together, your shadow isn’t about chaos, it’s about contrast. You hold both clarity and mystery within you, warmth and depth. There’s a beauty in the way you can see the truth in others while still protecting your own secrets. Your light doesn’t come from pretending to be happy, it comes from knowing yourself fully, even the parts that ache, and still choosing to shine.
The 6 of wands reversed reveals one of your shadow’s wounds: the fear of being unseen or unappreciated. There’s a part of you that deeply craves recognition, yet fears the vulnerability that comes with being fully visible. You might downplay your success or hide your light because of how others might react. But here’s where your darkness becomes art, your humility, your sensitivity, your quiet strength. You don’t need applause to be radiant; your light is self-sustaining.
The star brings hope and healing into the center of your shadow. You carry a kind of spiritual resilience, no matter how much you’ve been hurt, there’s always a part of you that still believes in miracles. Even when your heart has been shattered, you keep dreaming. You make beauty out of brokenness, turning your pain into light that helps others find their way. That’s the true magic of your darkness: its ability to heal through empathy.
The 3 of swords shows the depth of your feeling. You’ve known heartbreak, disappointment, and loss that cut deeply. But instead of hardening you, those experiences made you more compassionate, more open, more real. Your shadow wears its scars like jewels, they tell stories of survival, of love that was brave enough to hurt. There’s a poetic sadness to your energy, the kind that turns sorrow into something holy.
With the 2 of pentacles, your shadow is always balancing, between hope and doubt, faith and fear, light and dark. Sometimes it feels like you’re juggling too much just to keep your peace intact. Yet the beauty here is in your rhythm. You adapt, you flow, you dance through the uncertainty. You remind others that balance isn’t about perfection, it’s about grace in motion.
The 7 of cups reversed suggests that your shadow has learned discernment the hard way. You’ve seen through illusions, false promises, and dreams that weren’t meant for you. And though that clarity once felt painful, it became your liberation. Now you see with new eyes. Your beauty lies in your ability to tell what’s real from what’s fantasy, to stay grounded while still believing in magic.
Together, these cards paint the portrait of someone whose darkness is deeply spiritual. You don’t just feel, you perceive. You have a prophetic kind of intuition that was born from pain, and it allows you to guide others toward the light you had to find for yourself.
So this Halloween, celebrate your heart, the one that still believes, still feels, still shines. The beauty in your darkness is that it never gave up on love, even when love broke you open. You are the living proof that light and shadow can coexist, and that together, they create something divine.
🎃Group 4:
Cards: 9 of cups, 9 of wands, knight of pentacles, 3 of cups, page of pentacles.
If you chose this group, the repeated number 9 feels like a sign meant for you. Maybe you’re a life path 9, born on the 9th, or that number holds a special meaning, like a cycle that’s closing, a wish that’s finally ready to come true, or a reminder that you’ve come much farther than you think. Nine is the number of completion, and in your reading it speaks of someone who’s been through enough endings to understand that joy has to be chosen, not found.
The 9 of cups shows that the most beautiful part of your depth is your quiet contentment, the ability to find fulfillment in simple moments, in what you’ve built for yourself. You’ve learned how to feel gratitude even when not everything is perfect. There’s a maturity in your energy, like someone who’s learned to pour their own cup instead of waiting for someone else to do it. That self-sufficiency shines through you.
With the 9 of wands, there’s also a warrior spirit here. You’ve been through enough battles to grow cautious, maybe even a little tired, but you never stop showing up. There’s a beauty in your endurance, the way you guard your peace without becoming hardened. Your resilience is quiet but undeniable; people can sense your strength before you even speak.
The knight of pentacles adds a grounded, patient quality to your inner world. You don’t rush healing, and you don’t rush success. You move with purpose, with integrity, taking each step like it matters. Maybe others see you as slow to open up or overly cautious, but your pace is sacred, it’s what keeps you safe and aligned. Your steadiness is your art form.
With the 3 of cups, your darker seasons have taught you the value of genuine connection. You might’ve once isolated yourself, thinking you had to carry everything alone, but now you understand the joy of finding your soul tribe, the ones who make you laugh even after the storm. The beauty in your journey is how you’ve learned to celebrate again, to let lightness coexist with depth.
The page of pentacles closes the reading with a promise of renewal. You’re someone who’s always evolving, always willing to learn something new about yourself and the world. Your grounded curiosity keeps you young in spirit, no matter what you’ve lived through. There’s a softness in you that refuses to die, and that’s what makes you magnetic.
Altogether, your energy feels like a blend of wisdom and warmth, a person who’s been through darkness but walks with a quiet glow. You don’t need to announce your growth; it’s written in how calm you’ve become.
So this Halloween, honor how far you’ve come. Light a candle for the versions of you that never gave up. The beauty in your depth is the calm that follows the storm, the way you keep showing up with tenderness and quiet faith, no matter what you’ve been through.
-> Hello sweets and welcome to this reading! This reading is a little dark, a little on the depth side, so be aware of it before you pick a pile and read through it. I used both intuition and oracle cards for this one instead of tarot.
-> Any feedback is welcome!
-> For personal readings : Yongie’s Shop
-> Take a moment to breathe and pick an image from the pile to discover what I know about the darkness that your soul holds.
There is a darkness in you that was born from survival, and not from malice. It's somehow weird, how the energy here speaks of a soul who learned to live inside themselves like a fortress someone who treats their body and being as something that must be defended, disciplined, or proved worthy. You carry your history like architecture, every scar a supporting beam. Yet I feel like some of you were so mean to your own self. There's things you have done to your own body, to your own self that might have been worst than what people have done from the outside.
There's so much hatred in here, like there's a thirst of revenge that comes from you, you are so upset. this reveals the fire at the core, even if someone of you have a hunger not to harm, but a memory of every injustice left unanswered. You don’t crave cruelty, you crave equilibrium, some justice to be made for what was done to you or what happened to you. You want the world to finally feel the weight it once placed on your shoulders. Your anger is not blind, truly it is precise, forged by experiences where your pain was minimized or ignored. It’s a quiet vow to never again be the easiest person to hurt.
Then comes this card that literally says "Fated to Suffer" and the way it clings to the other cards is almost comical. By the way, this is not destiny as if you were always destined to suffer but as a belief etched into your bones. You have the idea that joy is conditional, that good things demand suffering as payment, that your role is to endure while others receive. It’s a script you never auditioned for but somehow ended up performing. This isn’t truth, despite all your beliefs, tho I do not blame you because you have experienced this through repetition. It’s the gravity of old wounds convincing you that hope is dangerous and disappointment is inevitable.
Together, these cards that this pile has, say to me that your darkness is made of self-preservation and memory from your past experiences. It’s the armor you learned to wear when softness was punished. You fear that if you release your pain, you’ll lose the identity that kept you alive. Because sometimes clinging to pain is easier, because if it goes away, what is left? You fear that forgiveness will be mistaken for surrender. You fear that daring to hope will invite punishment.
Also, if I may, I have an advice for you which isn’t to heal instantly or forgive blindly people around you but to question the story and the perceptions. If your body is a temple, must it stay a barricade? If you seek justice, must it require someone else’s suffering? If you were “fated” to hurt, who wrote that fate?
This darkness in you isn’t a warning to yourself or others, it’s a threshold. Your darkness isn’t something to banish but instead it is something to understand, so that it stops being the only language you speak with yourself.
There is a sorrow in this pile that feels almost elegant (kinda reminded me the flames of the candle), a darkness that has learned to present itself politely. The first card from this pile suggests wounds that have been made beautiful by necessity, like the kind of pain you perfume so others won’t smell how deep it goes. I know the analogy is a little pull out by ass, but what I mean is that it speaks to the art of appearing composed while something inside you quietly withers. You pretend. All your life, you pretend. You’ve learned to turn heartbreak into aesthetics, to make devastation look intentional, like poetry instead of injury. It’s a survival tactic, but it can also become a cage, where suffering feels like the only version of you that feels real.
And there's also this card here which Is called "Atonement" that popped out and this one reveals the spine of this darkness in you, the belief that you must pay for existing. I think something bad must have had happened to you when you were young.. because like every mistake, every fracture, every time you weren’t enough is a debt you’re still trying to settle. It’s the narrative of someone who apologizes even when they’re the one bleeding. Someone who learned to carry guilt the way others carry hope, as if redemption could be earned through exhaustion. There, all I see is a soul that has mistaken punishment for moral compass, that confuses self erasure with goodness. You take accountability for things that were never yours to hold.
I also feel like there's so much sacrifice here, it's almost too sad, like a sacrifice that arrives like the inevitable conclusion. It’s the pattern of giving until you vanish. Of pouring into others until you’re hollow. You barter pieces of yourself for connection, or love, or peace, as if the price of belonging is your own depletion, because you just want to be loved, to be held, to be seen. Sacrifice, here, isn’t heroic, it’s compulsive, it's unhealthy. You may believe that your worth can only be proven through loss, that the only way to matter is to offer yourself up. It’s a compassion that borders on self destruction.
To sum up this pile, I would say your soul unveil a darkness made entirely of softness which is sad, a self that has been conditioned to believe that suffering is currency, that love is something you buy with parts of yourself, that healing must wait until everyone else is okay first. It’s a pattern of disguising your pain so others won’t be burdened, of calling it noble when it’s actually neglect. Because yes, you were neglected. You still are. And it hurts.
The shadow is not that you hurt tho, it’s that you believe hurting is your role.
This pile asks so loud when did suffering become your language? Who convinced you that you must shrink to be safe? What would happen if you let yourself stop atoning for things you survived rather than caused?
Your darkness isn’t villainous I promise, it’s weary. It isn’t a warning but it’s a mirror of everyone else around you. It’s not asking to be banished from this world, it’s asking to finally be seen without having to bleed for it.
Lord, okay you guys have such a hunger to it, not physical, but existential (tho some of you might have dealt with binge eating or food in general). Tho the main thing I feel from your soul are feelings of being envious since here the pile speaks to the ache of wanting more, not out of greed, but out of the haunting sense that everyone else was given the manual to life while you were handed an empty page (some of you had to grow up having nothing, having a parent not present, financial issues, ect. there's just the lack of something in here). Anyways, it’s the kind of longing that keeps score, not because you resent others’ joy, but because their happiness reflects your deprivation back at you. There’s an internalized belief that you are always one step behind, always just shy of the thing you need to feel whole. The darkness here is comparison turned inward like a blade, its all about self-worth measured through windows instead of mirrors.
There's some obsession here as well, some of you have it deep in your soul that deepens that narrative. It reveals how desire becomes fixation when fulfillment feels perpetually out of reach. When you’ve spent enough time starving for something no matter if it is love, stability, validation, a place to belong, well that feeling of want can easily transform into a gravitational pull. here the cards speaks to the mind looping around a thought or a person or an ideal, not to control it, but to understand it, to finally feel secure, to own it, to have it. It’s not about possession, I feel it’s more about anchoring, because that gives you purpose to keep going with life. You latch on so you won’t float away. Underneath that is a terror of being forgettable, replaceable, easy to leave.
And then there's this card "Parasite" that is also on your puie that literally exposes the cost. Not that you are parasitic, but that you fear you are because of that obsession, of that neediness or clinginess you have In you because you just fear to be left again. That you worry your needs are too heavy, that your presence is a burden, that closeness is a transaction where you will always owe more than you receive. It points to patterns where connection feels like feeding but not on others, but on the scraps of reassurance they can spare. Lord, it's.. sad. There’s a dread that intimacy will reveal the hunger you’ve tried so hard to hide, and that once seen, you’ll be deemed “too much.”
Together, these cards describe a soul that has mistaken deprivation for identity, and I feel like it's deeply rooted in you. A self who fears that to want is to take, that to need is to harm, that to connect is to consume. So you oscillate between craving closeness and pulling away, afraid that if someone gets too close, they’ll either see the need in you and leave… or stay, and slowly starve.
This darkness isn’t monstrous and I really hope you know that, it’s misunderstood. It’s the residue of times when you weren’t chosen, or weren’t fed emotionally, or were taught to apologize for the space you occupy. You learned to mute your needs until they grew teeth in the dark.
The shadow lesson here are deep tho and these are some questions you can reflect for your shadow self, such as if you were allowed to want without guilt, what would you reach for? If hunger isn't a flaw, but a sign of life, what have you been starving of? What if needing someone isn’t evidence of weakness, but of being human?
Your darkness is not a curse my love, it’s a compass pointing toward what has been missing in your life from the moment you grew up, to now. and it doesn’t need to be extinguished but only untangled. You are not “too much.” You are someone who was given too little for too long.
Bad Omens · THE DEATH OF PEACE OF MIND · Song · 2022
This pile feels like a soul suspended between resignation and rebellion, and lord the energy was so hard to grasp. At first, the energy that came forward through the cards and the overall thing suggested a life or a version of yourself that was chosen for you before you ever got to choose. this random question is popping in my head as I write this but did some of you experiences death in any way? violent accidents, or imminent death experiences.. well anyways about the energy of your soul it’s the feeling of being promised to something you never truly wanted like an identity, a role, an expectation. It represents commitment born from obligation rather than desire, where the bars of your cage are made from the words “should,” “must,” “supposed to.” You might move through life like a guest at your own wedding, dressed for the part, admired from a distance, but internally disconnected, silently wondering when you agreed to all of this. Lord there's so much dissociation in here
The cards are so hard to interpret in here, but I feel like they speak about a fading that happened slowly. Not a dramatic breaking, but an erosion like type of thing, tiny compromises, self-silencing, the habit of being agreeable until your wants evaporate. It’s the loss of vividness (god are you okay?) where your emotions shift into grayscale to stay manageable, acceptable, quiet. You learned to be “good” instead of real, to be harmless instead of honest. This is not purity tho, it’s depletion disguised as serenity. A soul who learned that in order to remain loved, it must take up less space. It feels so sad because I feel some of you are just.. empty shells
Tho, there's this one card that brings some hope? like the card is called "Peace Among Thorns" which here it arrives like the hard-earned truth about the core of you, you have made a home inside discomfort as a coping mechanism. Not because you enjoy it, but because you’ve adapted to it. You’ve learned to find calm in chaos, to normalize the sting, to hold yourself still while the world pricks at you. You know how to survive situations that don’t deserve you, how to be gentle in rooms that demand hardness, how to be patient in moments that require rage. You can endure almost anything, and that endurance has been mistaken for consent. But god.. some of you truly did not consent to some of these things
Together, these pile of cards describe your soul as a darkness shaped like confinement, not enforced by chains, but by roles in your every day life. You have been applauded for being resilient when you were actually being contained. You’ve been praised for your composure when you were quietly vanishing. You’ve been told you’re strong for surviving the things that were never supposed to touch you.
Just like I said to the other piles, the darkness in you isn’t a villain but it’s a witness of your life. It’s the part of you that knows you are still in the cage, even if the cage is beautiful. It knows that peace shouldn’t have to be negotiated with thorns. It knows that purity without color isn’t purity, it’s absence.
The questions this pile asks are not gentle, but they are honest in case you want to work on your shadow self. What would happen if you disappointed the version of you that others prefer? If the cage door opened, would you walk out or would you apologize for the inconvenience? What parts of you have learned to live unlived?
Your darkness is not defeat my love, it’s the instinct that whispers “There should be more than this.” It’s the refusal to confuse endurance with purpose. It’s the first crack of rebellion beneath a smile. You are not meant to be palatable and you are definitely are meant to be alive.
This pile carries the weight of repetition it's really insane, but it's not failure, but cycles. I feel that some of you might have issues or troubles with some type of addiction in the past or in the present even. anyways, this pile speaks to patterns that began as coping mechanisms and quietly hardened into identity. It’s the soul that learned to seek relief instead of resolution, because relief was what was available. This isn’t necessarily about substances remember that addictions come in all shape and form, and for some of you it’s about leaning on whatever keeps you upright, even if it hurts to stand that way. There’s a sense of craving not pleasure, but escape from memories that are too painful, from expectation, from the heaviness of being yourself when the world feels too loud.
It reveals a truth about your soul, too few admit but it's true. sometimes survival looks like a habit you can’t put down.
Tho there's cards here that also exposes the logic behind it on how your soul got carved the way it is. It’s the idea that you bargain with the present to afford the future, a little like you are sacrificing your now for a “maybe later” that never quite arrives. You endure the moment like it’s a waiting room. You make choices that hurt today because you believe they will matter tomorrow (tho sometimes you just delulu yourself). And yet, when tomorrow comes, you are still waiting. It’s a soul suspended in anticipation, living for what could be rather than what is. There’s grief here, not for what was lost, but for what was postponed so long it atrophied. Tho I do believe that for some of you, there's real loss grief that scared you as well
It’s the psychological toll of delayed selfhood.
It's guns tho to say that despite that, there's some pride in your soul, and I feel like it almost looks like the curtain back into your core. there's shame that comes with not meeting your own myth, your own delulus and ideals of your life. The quiet humiliation of realizing your life doesn’t reflect the promises you made to yourself. It’s the ache of looking at your reflection and recognizing potential unfulfilled, not because you lacked the ability, but because you were busy surviving. This isn’t arrogance in my opinion, and more like it’s mourning. You don’t grieve what you are but you grieve the versions of you that were never given the conditions to grow.
There is a fear here, that changing now would make all the years before feel wasted.
Together, these cards describe a dark shadow that is shaped by negotiation. You have traded pieces of yourself to keep going, and you’re not sure how to ask for them back to the people that own you and to life that owns you way more. You have learned to justify your sacrifices as strategy, and your pain as discipline. But beneath that is a voice whispering that maybe you deserved the present tense, not just a hypothetical future. You just want recognition, to be witnessed and seen.
Your darkness is not a flaw. It’s an archive and really if I had to sum up your soul I would say it's a mix of a survival tactic mistaken for personality, of futures built like shrines to justify the cost and of pride swallowed to avoid breaking what little still stands.
The shadow invitation to help here is simple, but not easy, yet you can ask yourself the following questions, can you let yourself change without needing the past to have been wrong? Can you claim a future without sacrificing every present to pay for it? Can you let pride rise again, not as ego, but as proof you are still becoming?
This pile’s soul and darkness isn’t asking to be cured because you dont really believe you can anyways, but it’s asking to be integrated in people's life. so stop treating your coping mechanisms as confessions and start seeing them as evidence of endurance. You don’t need to earn your right to start over. You’ve already paid enough.
This pile feels like a quiet ache and tho it wasn't the saddest pile, I still feel affection for you, like you soul is a longing wrapped in hesitation. The first card that came out was the "Perchance to Dream" which is the card of the sleeper who fears waking. It speaks to someone who has learned to dream as a substitute for doing things they are supposed to, not out of laziness, but because dreams are the only place where desire feels safe. Reality has teeth whereas dreams do not. There’s a wishful soul here that you have, suspended in the sweetness of potential, lulled by the idea of what could be. It’s not escapism for pleasure, it’s escapism for protection. Sometimes the fantasy of a life unlived hurts less than risking it and losing. but hey, this is the darkness of comfort that suffocates slowly.
One thing I have noticed about the energy here is the amount of anxiety and fear, like you guys are terrified of desire, like to be seen without adornment. It’s the yearning to stand before life with nothing but your truth, like there's a vulnerability about being naked for others, you often must feel unarmored, unpolished, unperforming, and the terror that such exposure would lead to rejection. God why do you hate yourself this much? There is vulnerability here that feels so deep, like your soul learned transparency before it ever learned boundaries. You want to be known, deeply, achingly but the cost of being known is being judged and hurt. And so you offer glimpses, constellations instead of landscapes. You fear that if someone held all of you at once, they would drop you.
Tho, I think you are aware that you try to live your life through a masquarade. the mask you wear to translate yourself into something easier for the world to digest is literally consuming you. It’s the practiced smile, the curated personality, the version of you that is lovable because it is limited. You hide not to deceive, but to belong. You perform not to manipulate, but to avoid scaring others with the depth of your internal world. But that mask is not the real you, it's a lie and you know it. Beneath it, you worry that your real self is too sprawling, too intense, too raw. So you ration your authenticity, piece by precious piece.
I believe you are the type to have a darkness of a soul who knows exactly who they are, but isn’t sure the world can hold it. Together, these cards in this pile create a portrait of someone who lives between exposure and disappearance. You dream because there, you can exist unedited. You crave nakedness, the emotional kind for most of you, but fear it would invite abandonment from the others. And so you mask, gently, reluctantly, to survive the gaze of others. Your darkness is not duplicity but it is a longing for acceptance fighting with the instinct to self-protect.
What hurts most here is the double-bind, because basically to remain unseen is agony but to be seen is risk. This pile asks the hardest questions in order to heal your shadow self, are you hiding because you are unready to be known, or because others were unready for you? What if your dreams are not alternatives to life, but blueprints for it? If the world demanded a mask from you, why did you believe it?
Your soul is not asking for confrontation as I do believe you hate it, but it is asking for permission. Permission to wake gently in someone's arms. Permission to remove the mask slowly, not dramatically and to live fully. Permission to exist in your own proportions. You are not too much. You are simply not small. The soul here is not lost my love, it is rehearsing. Not disappearing but just choosing when and how to arrive.
career tarot reading guide: money, abundance, professional success
stop memorizing meanings and start reading the rhythm of your labors.
when you lay the cards out to ask about your professional future, you might know the definitions by heart, yet the cards often sit there in a profound silence. they whisper in their own tongues, but they fail to form a coherent sentence. at that moment, you are standing on the sharp divide between knowing tarot and reading tarot.
tarot is not a static dictionary of isolated words; it is a living language where cards change clothes depending on the color of the question asked. a sword card drawn for a love reading might represent heartache, but the same card in a career reading could herald a sharp intellect and a brilliant strategic move.
if you are looking for a map to the material world, you have to understand the algorithms:
the test of ripening
if you pull the 4 of pentacles + the hanged man + the 7 of pentacles, the universe isn't rejecting you. "the process may move slower than expected; the decision is in limbo where you can do nothing but wait. a harvest time will eventually come, but only through patience. waiting without making impulsive decisions is the healthiest path."
the jarring start
if you see the tower followed by the 8 of pentacles, it signals a sudden development outside your current plans. "the tower represents the collapse of your current career perception, while the 8 of pentacles reflects the permanence and effort required on this new path. redirection is the master key to success."
the scarcity algorithm
when the 4 of pentacles appears, it signals a scarcity mindset—holding on too tightly to what you have out of fear of loss. "if the turn of the wheel leads to the ace of pentacles, letting go of the old way of being is the key to opening a new door of prosperity."
the art of tarot reading: career and money
this guide is designed to strengthen your storytelling muscle. stop being a victim of fate and start becoming the architect of your own life by understanding the potential for your energy to manifest as material reward.
available as a digital guide in my shop
16-page focused guide for professional success and abundance.
tarot lessons but relate it to nbc hannibal because that's all your brain can process:
the fool: hannibal trusting will in season two can certainly be a representation of the fool. it is an exciting, marvelous feeling, to jump right in, blindly, trusting only your heart, but it has risks. but the fool is a card that tells us about intuition, too. so don't be fooled by the fool, it might be impulsive and too optimistic but the truth always comes to him. he will eventually see things clearly. yet, even so, if the fool remains in this same state, he goes right back to hannibal in the ufizi gallery...open, trusting. the fool always manages to find the truth behind the illusion, yet it might still choose the illusion, not because it enjoys it, but because the fool believes the illusion to be a truth. the fool is a fool not because he's stupid. he's a fool because he refuses to look (as in the card, his eyes are looking up instead of ahead, towards his path). there's an arrogance disguised as optimism in the fool. it cautions about lack of discernment or planning ahead.
spiritually it is the seeker taking his first step towards the abyss, convinced the journey will be rainbows and butterflies, but mostly convinced that who he truly is, is the ego.
hannibal as the fool is hannibal realizing that love changed him, and he is not who he thought he was. fortune's fool? no, yours.
Well, it is YOUR journal📖😊 - so feel free to customize & make it to fit you! ❤️
Here’s some ideas:
💡Keep logs of the readings you; whether for you or someone else. Writing down your personal interpretations during readings will help you to remember things about what you’re drawing.
💡 Have some pages dedicated to each of the cards. This could entail keywords & phrases, correspondences, even express how the card’s artwork speaks to you.
💡 Jot down your personalized, custom tarot spreads that you’ve put together yourself; any spreads that you’ve tried and want to make sure it’s remembered; or any you’ve come across that you would like to practice in the future.
Other ideas:
Previous readings
Daily card draws (include keywords, interpretations, etc.)
Tarot spreads you’ve made
Questions you wish to include in future readings/spreads
🍇 9 of cups: Count your blessings and manifest your desires
Satisfaction without selfishness. Accept the manifestation of your wishes, what life has to offer and be grateful for what you have today! Remember to count your blessings and share them with those around you ✨
💙 To gain insight on this card applied to your particular situation, book a reading with me 💌
