Trying to keep my head forward, and it’s hella hard
I am at that point in life where I don’t know if I’m happy or sad that I am here in the US...
Today is the UAAP (University Athletic Association of the Philippines) season 80 Cheerdance Competition, a competition where the schools included there perform a 3-minute (or more, I’m not sure) cheerdance with their chosen themes. Yes, it is a big deal in the Philippines, especially for the higher education community. A lot of college students attend the event, tickets get sold out, there is a nationwide coverage where non-attendees tune in and post of their favorite school, some of which have witty comments. Check out the hashtag #UAAPCDC2017 or stalk @IamEthylGabison on Twitter, a genius that’s hilarious, and you’ll know what I’m talking about
I actually didn’t know it was today until I checked twitter. It was 1:00 AM and I was just done playing FFX (Final Fantasy 10). I was ready to go to sleep but my impulsive hand decided to check my phone, and that’s when I found out. I spent the next hour scrolling through my feed, searching for a “free” online streaming of the event which to no avail was not available because it’s only available in the Philippines, and going back to getting the latest details about the event on twitter.
I’m not there to celebrate, to get hyped, or to get disappointed when a cheerdance squad fails some flips or pyramids. I’m not there to join my friends in cheering for my school and engaging in conversations that I know I would have fun and still learn something from them.
Not only did this make me a bit sad, but it made me realize something else...
That I am still caught up in the reality from where I was before I came here.
And to be honest, I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not. I mean, I think it’s a good thing in a way that I’m aware of the situation in my country whether it’s about politics, or my university, or the weather, or a celebration, or a success story of a fellow Filipino, or something else.
A downside that I’ve noticed when it comes to me staying constantly updated through online news and social media is that I am losing sight of what is in front of me. Yes, I continue to live. I’m still studying for my degree and I hang out with my friends whenever I can. But sometimes, whenever I’m in class and my teacher says some references to something that probably only an American who was born and raised here for at least 15-20 years would know, I compare it directly to the situation we have in the Philippines, which to be honest is not so bad at all. But then I started to get a bit homesick, and a bit frustrated because I get lost on what my my teacher is discussing because I honestly don’t know who or what she was talking about, unless I google it of course, and I would really like to know because she’s saying some interesting stuff but I have no idea what point in time she was referring to because I grew up in a different place.
Does this mean I’m meant to go back home? That’s what other people tell me, but that’s another post for another story.
My point here is that... I am torn between getting updated with my friends and family back home, and also the events that are currently happening, or leave social media for a bit and start to live my new life here in America--and that includes accepting that I have to adapt to a completely different lifestyle and culture.