with great power... comes great mental illness

mary / 27 / virgo fandom sideblog: @misspiggyilya 🌻

[tall]

[fortuneaday]

[feral-ballad]

Louise Glück, from Meadowlands; "Telemachus' Detachment"

[Text ID: "When I was a child looking / at my parents' lives, you know / what I thought? I thought / heartbreaking. Now I think / heartbreaking, but also / insane. Also / very funny."]

[thriftdyke]

journal factory xplosion

idkkkk i'm kinda crashing out dawgggg. my long-distance friend who was visiting me the past 4 days just left today and i guess i'm sad and feel weird about it on top of everything else i feel weird about in my life. like i wanna cry but idk what About. the friend is atp one of my oldest friends of 6 years which is kinda sad for a 27 year old to not have kept any childhood friends but whatever anyway we hadn't seen each other in like 2.5 years or something and i thought it would be weird but it wasn't cuz she's like one of the only ppl who i feel like really Knows me on account of me meeting her during the worst period of my life and we kinda have this like shared trauma thing that bonds us forever i guess anyway i'm both satisfied and unsatisfied with how the visit went and i think its bc i've been so lonely and isolated that i was hoping for a lot more than is feasible but i'm also surprised i was able to get what i did and it was kinda like warming myself up to the feeling of being Known again only there wasn't enough time to really feel it so now i'm like ok back to square one i guess. and i have to fucking apply for jobs cuz i really can't afford to fuck around anymore but the thought of working full time in My Field makes me depressed. and i have feeld messages i have to respond to and i already wanna give up for the billion trillionth time and i've been doing so much fucking therapy to try to understand and fix my Issues with dating and relationships and nothing seems to fucking work and i'm so tired. i feel like in order to fix my life i have to just suck it up and do a bunch of shit i don't want to do for an idefinite period of time and i hate that. i hate everything i hate feeling so pathetic and useless and everything feels like a performance i'm failing at miserably but i can't not perform bc who would want me like this. i'm sad and miserable and throwing tantrums like a kid and drowning in so much insecurity it would probably poison someone to get close to it. and i know i'm not supposed to Say That. i'm supposed to say everyone deserves love including myself and my lack of self-esteem is not proof that no one would want me and i have a lot of things i Do have esteem about and not everything is hopeless it just feels that way right now. and ok maybe that's true but it doesn't fucking matter bc i feel this way right now and i've been feeling this way for months if not years and i hate it and i don't know how to make it stop.

[twirlingfreckles]

sex isn’t real and you can’t have it. But vibrators are real. And available for purchase

[ceruleanheaven]

i just wanna do nothinggggg 😭😭😭😭😭 which is like what im already doing but i wanna do it in a way that doesnt actively ruin my life 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[tomb-mold]

the problem is i really do love staying up until one billion o'clock. it just cant be helped

[segamascott]

[kosmogrl]

[kosmogrl]

[stjohnstarling]

The social forces that prevent you from being able to admit to your own desires in the safety of your own mind are far more evil than any desire you could have.

[stjohnstarling]

Unacted desires are fundamentally neutral, and you can't decide what to do about the things you want unless you can admit to yourself what they are in the first place. Everyone has desires that would hurt other people if they acted on them, but most people would not actually go out and do anything they know would cause harm. Far more harm is done in this world by people who are trying to pretend they can't possibly want anything they think is bad than people running around going "ehehehe I love hurting people!"

[stjohnstarling]

Providing people with a way of exploring the dark parts of ourselves in a way that cannot hurt anyone is one of the purposes of both fiction and kink.

[stjohnstarling]

All of us have a hungry, horny, angry, scared animal inside ourselves. You do not need to excuse or justify what that animal wants, it simply is. You cannot escape it. Lying to yourself about the animal that you are will only give you less control over it, not more.

[unthinkablearchives]

Delphine Lecompte, Belgian poet

[mashpotatoe]

im nonbinary in a way that doesnt really matter

[tetitasdelimon]

top 5 horror movies

-having a job

-not having a job

-applying for jobs

-the job market

-the concept of working my whole life

[thriftdyke]

sometimes i do think being in a D/s relationship would fix me. but that requires taking action on my desires which i actually fundamentally can’t do

[thriftdyke]

to be honest i’m not doing great lol. i kinda hate my entire life and often wish something would happen to me to put me in the hospital for a few months so i can let my wellbeing be someone else’s responsibility and have an excuse for why everything feels like its in crisis

[kiefbowl]

the most important virtues for the young woman are as follows: time theft, selfishness, orgasms, irreverence to authority, sacrilegious behavior, a questioning mind, and eating regular meals.

[csny]

everymorning: i think im about to die. i think im going to die. im actually going to die. this is it. im going to die. im going to die immediately.

every single night: lock in. OK. Lock In. Change your Life. I love you. Lock in. This is going to be big. I’m going to change the world. Ready? I love you. Lock in. I have an idea. Lock in.

[ashoss]

“word hashtag my word #myword” has done irreversible damage to my vocabulary

[amnesiaguy]

of all the stupid things i’ve posted on the internet it’s very baffling and awesome that #mytwig had such a lasting impact. anyway long live #mytwig