#trans enough

[lgbtqiatext]

[hellyeahscarleteen]

As a trans person, how can I navigate authentic gender expression and avoid the identity police?

Being part of a caring queer community means helping each other find and celebrate our authentic selves – NOT taking part in gender policing. In this advice from the archives, Mo demonstrates how to do exactly that.

A user writes,

“I’m a 17 year old transmale and I’ve identified as male for about 2 years now. I am 100% confident that I am a boy, but I am also fine having breasts and a vagina. I don’t think of them as female. They’re just my parts! I like wearing things like dresses and skirts as well and I enjoy makeup, none of these things make me less of a boy in my eyes. However, I fear that people will not take my identity seriously because of this. Even in the LGBTQ community, I feel like people will say I’m not "really trans.” Dressing the way I want to really boosts my self-esteem (and I have struggled with horrible self esteem my whole life, so I really need it) but being called “girl” and “she” really hurts. I guess my question is, how do I deal with wanting to present a certain way but hating how it makes others perceive me? I will be going off to college in a few days as well, and I know that could be a time to show how I really want to be, but I’m scared of how people will react or treat me.“

Mo answers,

"I’m going to make probably the biggest understatement of the year: gender⁠ is complicated. As obvious a statement as that is, it’s still true, and I think it’s worth repeating.

I think one thing a lot of people - even many gender-savvy folks or fellow trans people - sometimes forget is that there are a lot of components to gender and that knowing someone’s gender identity⁠ doesn’t provide much information about what their gender expression⁠ or presentation will be. Plenty of people, whether cisgender⁠ or transgender⁠, have gender identities and expressions that don’t fit neatly into a rigid and binary⁠ system of gender norms.”

You can find the rest of Mo’s response here!

[askanonbinary]

Can I identify as trans if I'm afab nb? I present pretty masc, but I'm not currently medically transitioning and I'm not sure if I ever will. I feel comfortable with all pronouns, so sometimes I feel like I'm just a girl (even when my dysphoria proves I'm not), I always feel like I'm not "trans enough" :c

Anyone who does not 100% solely identify with the gender they were assigned at birth has access to the word "transgender."

Yes, you can identify as trans.

-Mod Zoe Leo

[117-opossum-teeth]

a few years ago, as i started coming to terms with my transness, i felt i had to let go of my feminine side to be “valid” or “trans enough,” so i started trying to present and be more masculine. and i get part of this was harmless experimentation, but another part of it was feeling the pressure of faking it all, or being a “trender.” i was very afraid of being a trender, so much so i felt i was walking on eggshells within my own community. to combat this, i pushed away my femininity and convinced myself that i didn’t want to be feminine, that femininity made me uncomfortable. i did this to avoid being shunned by trans and cis people alike. sure, it would hurt if a cis person thought i was faking my transness, but it would hurt even more if another trans person thought the same.

as i’m growing more comfortable in my identity, i’m realizing i’m not a masculine person, nor do i really want to be. this is not to say that i wish to be hyper-feminine either, however there are aspects of femininity that i very much enjoy! over the past few months i’ve been slowly reclaiming my femininity, and for the most part i love it! there are some downsides (such as my femininity being seen as conforming to gender roles rather than rebelling from them) however i’m trying to learn not to care so much what others think.

after all, to me femininity IS rebellion. it’s rebellion from the exclusionists within my own community trying to push the idea that people like me are “trenders” or “not trans enough.” and it’s rebellion from my own internal transphobia that had myself convinced that being feminine = not really trans. really, no one has the right to question the validity of someone else’s identity, no matter how they present themselves. trans men can be feminine. trans women can be masculine. and non-binary people don’t owe anyone shit, especially not androgyny.

i’m genderqueer and feminine. respect my identity and get over it🖕🏻

[laslloronas]

Sometimes i feel like im not trans enough and then i think "what if im a woman" and then i wanna throw up and laugh so now im good

[transadvicecolumn]

Question: Hi, so I've come out to coworkers and friends as nonbinary almost two years ago. Lately I'm starting to think I'm actually trans instead. Some coworkers, ones not in immediate vicinity, have been having enough trouble just being polite about it. (I have my preferred name + pronouns in my slack and email signature but some still have problems using them particularly since I can't yet change my email which is [email protected]) The problem/process of changing the email is a

[genderqueerpositivity]

(Image description: trans, genderqueer, genderfluid, agender, bigender, androgyne, demigirl, demiboy, nonbinary, and polygender pride flags with the words "you are trans enough" centered in white text with a black shadow.)

[breadsticks-and-blasphemy]

To all my beautiful trans brothers, sisters, and siblings out there: you. are. valid. You are trans enough and nothing could change that. You are amazing and wonderful and you are enough. You always have been enough. I know that sometimes, the way the world views you feels crushing. I know it may feel as though you are not trans enough, not valid enough. But you are, my friend. This goes out to all the trans folk out there who struggle with feeling as though they aren’t trans enough, because guess what? Y’all are valid.