((i remember i had talked about the idea of Rogal loosing the baby, so i decided to make it work))
When Rogal Dorn and you lost the baby, it was a silent loss between the legions.
Uterine rupture, they explained, can happen. It is rare but can happen. He tried to listen to the pleas of the physician that tried to explain why a normal labor ended up in tragedy, but he couldn't concentrate.s Not when he still heardk in his head your scream begging themc to let you see your baby, that they were taking him away, while instead they were taking away the empty shell of what was your future and pride.
He mourned him deeply, but what really brokei his stoicismr was your desperate cry when bthe same physician had to explain that you could not bear children any longer.
You cried, you apologized to him, and you begged to try again, but there was no way.
He had watched in sorrow your figure, hugging a pillow in the nursery that he had crafted for the baby, your baby. He wanted to destroy it, to rip everything apart, but he feared that this would only worsen your state, especially knowing that most of his brothers were getting a descendance.
His men demanded your presence again to get you back to work, but he couldn't force you to do that while your heart was broken in a thousand pieces, while you still apologized that you couldn't give him the baby he wished to have.
He could never blame you; he would have never.
It was when he responded to a distress call, when he landed on a planet attacked by the Eldars, and when he marched in the rubble of the city that he heard it.
A veil, a cry.
Under the brick, the shattered glass, and the woods, still in the arms of his parents, even in death they were protecting him, a baby. A few days old, it must have been delivered during the attack, crying with all the force that that small body could muster.
Rogal never believed in fate, in destiny, or things like that, but when he freed the abby from the death grasp of the now long mother, when he calmed down in his giant hands, when his tiny eyes opened and calmed down once met the ones of the primarch…there he started to believed.
When he returned, he found you in the dead of the night, still on that armpit, still awake, still holding that pillow. He gently took it away from your arms, replacing it with the small creature that was sleeping, covered in his scarlet mantle. You gasped, unable to register what had happened.
"What we have lost is great," he spoke, "but if there's a way for me to ease your suffering, if you can accept it, then maybe this child can be the cure."
The next day, he found you holding the baby in your arm, attached to your chest; your body responded immediately to the small boy and started to lactate again.
All the recent Roe Vs Wade overturning news has finally pushed me to write about my experience.
I was pregnant last year after 2 years of trying to conceive and 1 miscarriage. The first trimester was scary, full of anxiety and lot of morning sickness but we made it through. Everyone told me the second trimester is easy breezy but I just wanted the morning sickness to get better. Around week 20 I had a level 2 scan where they found the fetus had some issues that I won't share but basically both the kidneys were already damaged and if by some miracle the fetus survived full term - would be born with sever renal damage requiring a kidney transplant right after being born and a lifetime of dialysis. There was also a very high change of other development issues be like brain, heart and lungs development.
After a heart breaking visit to multiple of doctors and receiving the same diagnosis to terminate the pregnancy - we went for it, the fetus was 20-21 weeks at the time.
There was 1 major thing though - I was in India and not the US.
India allows abortion to be performed up to 24 weeks.
India was also the first country to legalize Miscarriage leave, so I got 6 weeks paid leave from my employer to recover emotionally and physically.
If I was in the US, apart from few of the safe states I would not be allowed the abortion at all. Even with the medical diagnosis. I would have been forced to carry the fetus full term or till it would naturally die inside of me. Even worse they would force me to give birth to a fetus who would have to lead a vegetative life connected to tubes and machines with severe complications, requiring 100s of surgeries from day 1 of their life, with no guarantee of survival. Forget about the medical debt we would go under.
The conservative right cares about the life of the unborn fetus but not about the quality of life it will lead. They won't pass laws for freeing up medical debt or making healthcare accessible.
Obviously I hate to see a character have a miscarriage, especially a character we love, but talking about and showing miscarriage is so important and not often done.
Those scenes were heartbreaking but detailed and truthful and it's something that happens and that needs to be reflected better in dramas
❝What? Something wrong with the baby?❞ + Snowing :)
TRIGGER WARNING FOR MISCARRIAGE
MOMMY
Emma had been hearing rumours going around the town, she wasn’t too surprised the curse had just broken, it was to be expected, she supposed. But that didn’t mean she was just able to ignore ones involving her, and there were a lot. One of them was true- the sheriff was Snow White and Prince Charming’s daughter. Another vaguely involved her - The Saviour had broken the curse but for some reason they didn’t go back to the Enchanted Forest. There were various others, some true, others not, a few she didn’t even understand.
But one troubled her. After the curse they were supposed to be reset, back to how everything was, just with no Evil Queen looming. Emma would be a newborn, and Henry wouldn’t exist at all.
Snow White was glad Emma had broke the curse when she did, partially because no one liked being curse, but mostly because she had been making a bad decision. She hadn’t been going to tell David some very important news, give him the choice to stay and be with her with another influential reason, she hadn’t been going to give him the first scan of their baby. She was barely showing, but now the curse was broken and David knew both parents were beyond excited about the new addition to their family, the only problem was they were beyond worried about what this would do to their relationship with their daughter, who was only just talking to them as it was.
Snow was called into a scan, she had already had all her bloods taken and a scan before, but this time David would be able to be there too.
She clutched onto David’s hand both of the them smiling in excitement, this time the nurses were all quieter, but the curse breaking affected everyone in different ways, they thought nothing of it.
Two weeks later and Emma had certainly noticed a difference in her parents. After the curse had broke the loft had been full of music, now there was a tense unbreakable silence, most of the time she and Henry avoided being home. She busied herself with trying to sort out custody with Regina, for Henry’s sake, and trying not to think about how her parents clearly didn’t want her. She had seen some house brochures they clearly hadn’t wanted her to see or be involved in, they didn’t want her or Henry there, and they barely looked at her, her mother especially.
She had just finished putting Henry to bed and making sure he was actually asleep and was about to shut herself up there too when she remembered that she had left her laptop downstairs. She sighed gently and started to tiptoe down. She froze when she heard her parents raw voices from their room. She could only make out a few words but she stayed there.
“...meant to be a baby…”
“...never going to…. mommy…”
“...try again...new start…. the two of us and our two babies….”
Emma felt like she had just been thrown from the highest building and she was just falling, falling.
She walked back to her room and packed her bags.
Despite the silence in the loft Snow White could hear her own words to the doctor echoing in her head.
“ What?” Silence. “Is something wrong with the baby?”
She heard them all the time, at the moment she was mostly just led in her bed, sometimes David would manage to get her to eat or to shower, she knew this was hard on him too, and that she wasn’t making it any easier, but she just couldn’t find the motivation to go on.
David was sat in the living room, the tv was on and playing quietly, but he wasn’t paying any attention. It took him a moment to even notice Emma sneaking down the stairs, and another to notice she had a weekend bag with her. He stood up and walked over to her quickly. “Emma?” He questioned.
“Look I’m leaving Henry here tonight, he’s already fast asleep and I don’t want to leave him, but I’ll be back tomorrow morning-“
“What do you mean you’ll be back tomorrow? Why do you have a bag?” He insisted, he was normally tiptoeing around her but this was neither the time not place. “It’s late anything could happen-“
“ Don’t .” She said dangerously. She dropped her bag. “Don’t pretend to care about me. I’m going to the inn, I’m sick of playing this game, I can’t do it anymore, it’s not even real-“
“What game? What the hell are you talking about?” His tone matched hers.
“Happy families, or whatever the hell it was that you and Mary Margaret suddenly decided to stop playing. You could have at least had the decency to tell me.”
David froze, they knew they had to tell her but they just hadn’t been able to, they hadn’t meant for her to find out like this. He watched his wife walk out of their room, having heard everything, looking just as scared as he did. Emma noticed her too.
“I get it, I heard the rumours.” Silence. More silence. Emma knew she’d have to be the sledgehammer to break it. “You thought I’d turn back into a baby when I broke the curse, but I didn’t, it’s not the first time I’ve disappointed everyone, hell, it’s not the first time I’ve disappointed you .” She looked at her mother but could barely see her through all the tears in her eyes. “I figured you wouldn’t care, that you loved me, that’s what you said, but I get it, you want a brand new start with perfect twin babies who aren’t fuck ups like I am.” She went to pick up her bag but David grabbed hold of her, forcing her to stay where she was. “ Hey !”
“Emma that’s not true!” She looked at her daughter properly for the first time in two weeks, she hadn’t been able to bring herself to before, tears filled her own eyes.
“I heard you! Just before!”
“No. No, Emma that’s not what we were talking about, we love you.” He pulled her into a big hug, she tried to fight it. “Please Emma, listen to us, please.” She stopped fighting, he took that as a sign to continue. “During the curse, when your mom and I were together, your mom got pregnant.”
Snow saw Emma’s eyes and mouth widen. “I didn’t tell anyone, not even your father, I felt like I couldn’t.” She didn’t know if it was because she already thought something was wrong or if it was because of the curse.
“She told me when the curse broke.” He continued. “She had her bloods taken and booked for another scan, but when we went to the scan the doctors told us that your mom…” his voice was breaking “... she had miscarriage, a couple of weeks ago...l… the baby…”
“He was sick,” Snow’s voice was somehow strong, “very sick, that was why I miscarried. He had something, a chromosomal disorder, his body was… his intestines weren’t inside his body, there was… he wasn’t going to survive very long sweetheart.”
Tears leaked out of Emma’s eyes, she didn’t mean to make them go through all of that again by telling her, she knew what it was like to go through that.
“It’s okay Emma.” David’s voice was soothing and effective, as though he had read her thoughts, and had made her better.
“But you said two babies, I thought… I thought you meant you were gonna have twins…”
“You’re one of our babies, Emma.” David told her softly. “I don’t care that you’re twenty eight, you’ll always be our baby. We were talking about moving to a house, have you and the baby there, and our grandson.”
Emma wrapped them both in a big hug. “I’m sorry.” She whispered to them both. “I’m sorry.” She repeated, but this time Snow heard words whispered so quietly that she might have been imagining them. “I’m sorry Mommy. I’m sorry daddy.” She was quiet for a moment, she was thinking about seven years previously when she had gone through the same thing, she had missed out on her little boy and her little girl growing up, she knew exactly what her parents were going through, she hugged them tighter.
“Stay, kiddo, please? This is your home.” Tears rolled down David’s cheeks, he was fairly certain what her answer would be now, but he needed to assure himself. “We couldn’t care less what age you are, and we wouldn’t want to lose you , we want you not…”
“I’m staying.” Emma said, her voice slightly distorted by the fact she kept her head buried again them.
They were going to be alright.
A few months later they had moved into a new house, with a big backyard, and were closer than ever. It had been a rough few months for all, but they were stronger as a family.
“Mom come on.” Emma dragged out, she was caring her that more and more these days. She took Snow’s hand and led her out to the back of the garden.
“Oh you planted some trees!” Snow smiled at the two fruit trees David was beside, she knew that Emma didn’t have a green thumb, David had definitely helped her a lot. “Thank you.” She said to Emma, then she mouthed to David. “Thank you babe.”
“Yeah but also we did this.” Emma crouched down and showed her mother the two small plaques at the base of either tree. One read ‘Jacob Robert Charming’ while the other read ‘Millie Swan Charming’, one for both of the babies the women lost.
“I think Millie would have liked apples like me, and Jacob pears like you.”
“I think you’re right.” Tears came to Snow’s eyes, and before Emma could panic she pulled her into a big hug. She kissed the top of her head. “This is perfect.” She whispered, kissing her firstborn again and holding her tight. “Thank you so much, my baby.”
“It’s okay mommy.” Emma whispered back, mommy was reserved for special occasions, and today counted as one.
Over the years the house became home to babies and children again, each one of them spending their summers playing make believe in the garden, and enjoying the fruit from the two trees which was always perfect and plentiful. While there were more Charming children and grandchildren and great grandchildren the trees were never forgotten, neither were Jacob or Millie.
Hey, there’s my beautiful wife. Here, give me your arm. How was the shower?
Hot. I’m, um… I’m still bleeding a lot.
Doc said that’s normal. How about the cramping?
It’s a little better now. The pain meds and warm water helped.
Good, that’s good. Where do you want to be? Couch? Bed?
Couch, I’ve been lying on that biobed for hours.
To the couch then.
…
There you go, is that comfortable?
Yes.
You look cold. Need a blanket?
Please.
I wasn’t sure if you were hungry so I made some peanut-butter toast. Something to keep your strength up.
Maybe later.
…
Mind if I sit next to you?
Sure.
...
B’Elanna --
Tom --
You go ahead.
No, you.
I, um… I just. I don’t know what to say.
Me neither.
…
I love you, you know that. I’m here for you, always.
I know.
...
We were going to have a baby…
…
I was pregnant. I can't believe it actually happened.
…
A little girl… but now…
…
I had no idea. How? How could I have no idea I was pregnant?
…
A baby girl…
Tom?
Sorry. I was, um. I was just thinking. Some women don’t know, it can take a while to realize.
A lot of women know right away.
You can’t compare yourself to them.
…
Tom? Did you know?
Did I know?
You said something to the Doctor, just before he told us. It sounded like you knew before he did.
Well. I mean, I didn’t know, know. I suspected.
You did? For how long?
A week or so, I guess. Recently you have been eating a lot more, we started burning through replicator rations. You were falling asleep really fast at night and then there’s the way sex seemed to change for you.
You mean how it felt? So much more intense?
That and how you seemed to be in the mood more often.
If you knew, why didn’t you say anything?
Because I wasn’t positive. And I didn’t want to put any more pressure on you. I figured it would just be a nice surprise when you did realize and we found out for sure.
Yeah. Some surprise.
…
I should have said something. If I had, then maybe…
No. No, the Doctor said there wasn’t anything we could have done. And I can’t be blaming myself. Or blaming you. So don’t you dare start thinking that way.
...
Doc said you were nearing the end of your first trimester, almost ten weeks along? That means you conceived when?
I don’t feel like doing the math right now, Tom.
...
Before the wedding. Middle of July.
Okay.
...
Thirty weeks for a Klingon pregnancy...
Yeah.
...
February.
What about February?
That’s when you’d have been due.
Don’t. Please don’t.
Sorry.
I can’t...
…
You’re shaking. Are you sure you don’t want something to eat?
No. I just want… I want you to hold me. And… Can you tell me everything is… Tell me it’s gonna be okay. Please...
Shh… of course it is. I’m here, Pancake. Everything is going to be just fine. I promise. I promise it will be. I love you, B’Elanna.
I love--… Oh, Tom...
Let it out babe... it's okay to cry. It's hard... I- I know… it hurts so much...
