#trustschaos

[ccbookspoethingsfan]

his trust was a part of him, as much as his hands or his miraculous feet. And despite my hurt, I would not wish to see it gone, to see him as uneasy and fearful as the rest of us, for any price.

[51163-a]

“    YOU’RE  QUIET .    ”    observation  over  accusation ,   arm  draped  around  her  tightens  just  enough  for  a  gentle  squeeze .    fingers  continue  to  trace  invisible  patterns  against  her  skin  as  bodies  recline  against  pillows .   head  turns  to  the  side ,   lips  pressing  once  to  her  forehead .    “    you  know  you  can  talk  to  me ,   right ?    ”

                      ➞  @trustschaos​​  /  sc.

[clueface]

@fatalelity sent:  🗣️   for an incorrect quote!

featuring a guest appearance by @trustschaos!

[chaosbloomed]

@trustschaos​.   starter call... it’s somewhere. 

there was nothing vindictive about the way how vanessa bloom put new amsterdam as her top match despite the fact that she was matched to better hospitals that weren’t underfunded. it’d be a lie if she said being late for the first day of work was a deliberate move ― after all, she’s gotten out of bed two hours early, made her way to the subway station until a woman collapsed in the middle of the streets     [     goddamn, thank goodness she had just quit her job as an EMT     ] and thus, she forfeited that train that stopped abruptly as people panicked. moments later she was on an ambulance with people she knew and already, she performed an emergency tracheotomy to make sure the woman stayed alive. 

it was with people she knew, and she wounded up in new amsterdam for the umpteenth time ― strange how after all these years she’s been able to avoid seeing her sister     [     perhaps, it was deliberate. she would never tell.     ]       but today she was ready so after a series of quick hand offs, trauma surgeon stabilizing her and the onslaught of  ED nurses recognizing her and her catching up with them as well as the EMTs and paramedics leaving the area... vanessa was finally allowed to breathe. 

however, she literally just remembered she’s at work. she works here now ― fucking weird! so almost anxiously she makes her way to the older sister she had only allowed herself to catch a distant view for all these years... god, she’s nervous. what the hell does she do?      [      “hey sis, it’s me, vee!” okay, actually nix that, that’s what people without siblings say. but then again...     ] 

❝     okay, i know i’m late and it’s not a good look and whatever but i saved that woman’s life ― you’re not allowed to fire me. not after i saved someone’s life. a-and you’d be making a terrible mistake to fire me for being late ‘cuz i was doing my job. also, how many people here have even been an EMT before, nevertheless for as long as i have? so before you decide to put in that paperwork, think twice ― nay, thrice!     ❞ 

she somehow, manages to say all that in one breath. dear god, take a fucking breath vanessa. 

[lunawish]

@trustschaos​ ✊🏻

❝     hey! what do you think you’re drinking?! you have death wish? are you asking to go into cardiac arrest?    ❞     smack! she slaps that coffee cup out of lauren’s hands with a scowl on her face.    ❝    if you really want to drink coffee then settle for decaf — otherwise, don’t drink at all.    ❞

[fatalelity]

@trustschaos​ :)))

the resonance of the voice on the other end of the line hangs heavy in the air as her mind churns, thinking about every single possible possibility. worry paints her features as she idly fiddles with the ring on her finger — suddenly, she feels nauseous and addison hates this. she shouldn’t read too much into this. she shouldn’t. but given her history, her track record... it’s hard not to let her mind drift into odious territories. 

“doctor bloom? we’re giving you notice since there’s been a reported leak from the floor above. just doing routine inspection.” 

fuck, fuck, fuck. she feels sick at how paranoid she’s feeling — as if the promises to stop keeping secrets from one another is violated and any prospective excitement she had towards that life lauren, of all people, wanted to share starts to feel fragile. 

at the sound of familiar footsteps, she takes in a sharp inhale.     ❝     hey so that call i just picked up for you...?     ❞      the tenor in her words are tremorous but addison does what she can to steel & steady every sound that falls from her lips.     ❝     they uh... called about your apartment? a routine inspection?     ❞      she pauses, letting it hang heavily in the air as she musters every strength in her body to not be hysterical.     ❝     you kept your old place?     ❞

[fatalelity]

@trustschaos​ :) 

                    “ lauren she’s... complicated so. make sure she’s not                      just some midlife crisis of your’s because she’s one of                                             the best people i know. ”

his words still sting and echo like an annoying ringing in her mind. if not for her poise and composure, addison would’ve stabbed him with that scalpel right there and then. but instead, she’s down in the ED after a consult ― and she’s casting a longing gaze at lauren bloom’s back side from the windows. to say his words didn’t have an effect on her would be a lie. normally, she would’ve approached her and stolen food from the bag of chips lauren loved getting from the vending machine but addison’s hesitating for a moment before she saunters into the lounge. 

lips pursing together, she manages a tight smile on her lips before reaching for a bottle of water and taking a drink out of her. slowly, she lets her eyes meet lauren’s... and she’s staring at again, debating whether or not to talk about the exchange she’s had earlier.    ❝     hey. fancy seeing you here,    ❞     she starts off. hoping that the levity in her words would detract from the fact that she’s sombre, and perhaps even melancholic.    ❝    come here often?    ❞

[fatalelity]

lauren bloom & addison montgomery → feat. @trustschaos​

look icb you would look at her and go like ‘nah ur not pretty’ like hello anyways i fixed it