Alright chat I want to complain (long rant ahead) and hear someone say how brave I am. Because I'm so so so brave. I didn't even scream. (You can just stop reading here and go to comments and say "Chaos you were SO brave I'm proud of you" lmao). TW insects.
Okay so. We have insects in this apartment, right? Everyone does. Some have less, some have more. We're lucky to not have any cockroaches (I'd set the place on fire if I were to see them). And there's a special insect that appears sometimes to kill most of them anyway, but this is not about the holy mary squad, this is about small insects.
So a while ago I found a few tiny flecks of weird dirt (?) on myself while showering. And I figured it's normal considering the constant makeover in the apartment, could be a weird piece of plaster that fell on me from the ceiling. So I washed it off with mild panic and forgot about it.
(I should pause here to announce that I am terrified of insects. I'm fine with them from afar - mostly - but an insect or other small many-legged creature in the radius of three meters from me can and will send me into panic. I can't handle even such universally accepted pretty insects as butterflies.)
So anyway, the dirt incident repeats some time later, and then again, and I panic every time but then convince myself that it's dirt, can't be anything else. Because I wash it off so fast, I can't really inspect it closer.
Then I find about three "flecks of dirt" on the shoulder of my t-shirt while I'm in my room. Having no shower in hands I pause, figuring out the best approach (should I brush them off to the floor or get a tissue or carefully pick them up and drop them into a trash bin?), and that gives me time to see them move. Which is when I know I am doomed. But I watch them carefully to confirm my suspicions, protected by the flimsy shield of my t-shirt, see them move again, and bravely go to my father to 1) get them exterminated by someone braver than I and 2) check that I'm not having a nervous breakdown with hallucinations. Not that I have any history with hallucinations, but it doesn't hurt to check, right?
Good news: they're killed and I'm not having hallucinations. Bad news: there are worms in the apartment. Neutral suggestion: maybe they just climbed in during the window screen incident (aka that one time Max pushed my window screen out and I had my window fully open to any and all insects for an unknown time) and are all dead now? Pretty please?
A couple days later I find one on my wrist while showering and give it time to move to confirm that it is indeed an alive creature. I take a blurry photo and inspect it closer before washing it off and letting out an undignified sound. Then I bravely finish showering and bring up the creature to mom, which is when we discover what it probably is: a larvae of silverfish, which is an insect that very much does live in our bathroom.
This conclusion calms me down a little because previously my panicking brain almost managed to convince me that the worms must be living under my skin somehow. It also brings a new concern though, because the number one way to get rid of the larvae is by keeping everything dry and that's simply impossible with Max being Max.
We figure that they must be coming from the shower curtains and dad gets rid of them in the morning. Showering becomes more difficult because water wants out but it's worth it to have no creepy larvae crawling on us.
Today I was in the shower and looked down to discover about ten small flecks of dirt on my, excuse me, right tit. I let out another undignified sound that was nowhere close to the loudness I wanted it to be, took a deep breath, stared at them until I confirmed movement, counted them for some reason, immediately forgot the exact number, and finally carefully washed them off.
The ceiling was unlikely and the shower curtains were inexistent, so I went through my other options. The larvae have been found on my, excuse me again, tits, my right shoulder and my wrist. So the source was probably at my shoulder height (or they dropped from above). I was the only one to find them, parents either never noticed or never had them. What was I doing differently?
There is a shelf under our mirror. Most people have one. Our mistake was making it wooden and not even fully covered by paint, with about two centimetres wide side of it being fully open. And it was constantly wet too, the wood having so much water in it that it was swollen and uneven. It was exactly at my shoulder height and I can assume I was the only family member to lean on it while brushing my teeth or looking in the mirror.
It was filled with worms. Like an anthill, wet wood opening secret passages for tiny larvae and masking them perfectly with its matching brown color. I would never notice if not for me leaning on it, but looking at it straight for a minute showed me a terrifying amount of movement in a shelf that was very much not supposed to move at all.
I finished showering and put everything away without touching the shelf. Then I walked out and calmly declared that I want a chemical protection suit and a flamethrower but will settle for rubber gloves, a screwdriver and a huge plastic bag.
I was given neither but mom drank the rest of her sedatives and dad took the shelf out. And I am carefully ignoring the fact that there are other things made of the same material in our bathroom.
But you know. I was very brave. I didn't even scream. And I want to be praised for it.
