hey so speaking of blood now all i’m thinking about is jacks feral need to mark you with it. no better way to claim you than his blood stained into your body. maybe a little spit it into your mouth heyo i am unwell bro
tw for blood/pain kinks pls don't ingest if it bugs you
if you're unwell, I'm already dead 😭 cause I love this sm
To put it simply, Jack is fucking gross. Not physically by any means, but mentally. OH he's a freak-
Bite marks, bruises and handprints only go so far yk? They're nice, he'll never get tired of seeing them on you but sometimes it's just not enough. He needs you in a way that surpasses sex and crawls into an undying primal way. He doesn't just wanna fuck you, he wants to- no. needs to become a part of you in one way or another. Since he can't physically brand his name onto your body yet, he'll find other ways to tangle his DNA up with yours.
He gets pretty rough when you fuck, but loves when you return the energy. Dig your nails into his back until you break skin, pull his hair like you want it to hurt, beg for him till your throat is so raw you can't speak. The way he drives himself into you makes you think he wants to split you down the middle and the way his fingers dig into your hips when he cums only furthers the theory. Speaking of cum, he'd rather actually be put to death than cum outside of you. Doesn't matter if it's in your mouth or pussy he's just outright refusing to finish if he's not balls deep buried in you, and anything that runs out is quickly gathered up by his fingers to be fucked back into you. You catch him mouthing off about knocking you up every time he gets close, it's almost entirely mindless chatter but it still makes your face heat up when you hear him choking out pleas begging for you to let him own you like that.
His freak rlly reaches a peak after your teeth sink into his lip a little too hard one evening. He didn't even bother pulling away from you immediately, just deepening the kiss despite the stinging feeling radiating from his bottom lip. When he does finally take a breath, the sight of your lips covered in his blood makes his cock twitch so hard he nearly cums right there. No other sight could possibly compare, he's sure, but fuck he needs to see more.
You'd end up thrown onto the mattress with your clothes strewn in random corners of the room while Jack trails his lips everywhere they can reach. The constant pressure kept the small cut from healing, leading to a pretty trail of red tracing the dips and curves of your form. It decorated you like the prettiest lingerie in the world, he couldn't get enough. Jack would work his way between your legs just to hike them onto his shoulders and bury his face in your pussy like it was the last thing he'd ever taste. He'd have you shaking and tears burning at your waterline so fast you could barely think, which helped him out when he used your fucked out state to get you to open your mouth for him.
Spitting in your mouth is nothing new by any means but the mix of his saliva, blood and the taste of your own release was absolutely new.
"CDD systems should have the ability to use the CDD related tags (did, OSDD, etc) without endogenic posts." i have two opinions about this
1- if a system does not want to see crosstagging they can block tags like endogenic, or block users. it's up to people to moderate their own experience for the most part.
2- what if there is a system who is endogenic (originally) but later developed a disorder like CDDs connected to their plurality? they deserve to use those tags. alongside just... posts about general systemhood stuff. like "haha when you have a fictive and they relate to their source" or similar posting that can relate to both disordered and nondisordered plurality. that can fit in the DID/OSDD tags.
(also "speaking as someone who has survived a major car crash that was caused by endogenic misinformation about my disorder." what do you mean?? car crash?? how did misinfo about concepts of selfhood affect the likelihood of a car crash?? car crashes happen because cars are dangerous, not because someone said "i think did is [x misinformation] actually")
1. It’s up to people to moderate their own experience, but people also have the right to be frustrated that they have to moderate their own experience because people can’t learn to tag correctly.
2. This hypothetical is so rarely the actual case and is a bad faith reading of the original post. People without CDDs are using the CDD tags to post in. This problem shouldn’t be brushed aside or ignored due to hypotheticals. Yes, I agree with this, but it’s not the point here.
And as for my car crash…
I think it’s incredibly bold of you to waltz into my inbox and suggest that my car crash just happened, and that it’s nobody’s fault (despite not knowing any of the circumstances leading up to this). What benefit would I, a pro-endo system who is constantly trying to convince people that endogenic systems exist, find in lying about what happened to me?
I don’t owe you anything. But I feel like this’ll be educational.
When I was in college, I was bought in by radinclus pro/endos who accepted my odd plurality (see here: completely normal DID experiences). They told me I wasn’t traumatized, that I couldn’t be because I was raised rich — so I accepted this, naively, and continued to go home from college (an hour long drive) every single weekend, back to the people who had emotionally and sexually abused me.
This hour long drive took quite the toll on me. It didn’t help that endogenic systems had convinced me that visualizing my ‘headspace’ was healthier than living in real life, because it made my ‘headmates’ more real.* This worsened my dissociation to the point that I never saw my own body as mine — I saw it through a screen, and oftentimes there was a delay to my actions due to the sheer amount of dissociation I was experiencing.
I was driving late at night down a 50mph road. It was foggy. My car doesn’t play well with fog, and the only way to handle it was to blast heat on the windshield. I was tired, because I had been awake for a straight 48 hours writing a paper, because for some reason, I had lost hours of my life to ‘zoning out’ (hint: alters switching in, resulting in amnesia).
But don’t worry, guys. Endogenic systems had my back. See, I’d been worried that year about how exhausted I was. Had I gone to a doctor, they would’ve informed me my vitamin D levels were dropping dangerously low, a fact I only learned 4 years later after I graduated and finally got blood work done. But I didn’t need to go to a doctor, the endos told me.
“Switching gives you energy! The headmate who comes in will be fresh because they haven’t been fronting! If you need to stay awake just a bit longer to get those papers done, you should ask someone else to switch in!!”
I was 19. I was actively being abused and convinced I wasn’t being abused (by endos). I was so dissociative that I was seeing my alters in real life (due to endos). I was triggering myself again and again and again to force switches by thinking out the only traumatic memories I could remember (because of endos).
I’m the specific alter who was fronting at the time of impact. I remember it really fucking clearly. I had just switched with Numb, and because of how I was visualizing at the time, I saw him next to me in the car. My husband was next to me, his hand on my shoulder. I looked in my rear view mirror and saw Sierra and Wade in the backseat, asleep on each other. Sie was asleep in Wade’s lap. Debbie was directly behind me, staring out the window, trying to ignore I was there.
Rice wasn’t included, because “that’s your core, and psychologists will force you to become like her.” She wasn’t important enough to my dissociative daydreaming. She was locked in her room for years (because of endos).
I remember thinking “this is so good. Here I am. My entire family is with me. I’m driving with them.”
That’s when I woke up, as I drove my car, going 50mph, into the back of a truck that was stationary. The truck had a family - a real, blood and flesh family, with three small children, a husband, and wife - who was turning into a development. Had I not hit the truck, my car and my sleeping self were moving directly toward oncoming traffic, which was also going 50mph.
Had I somehow missed all the cars, I would be driving into a ditch.
Hitting that car, in the exact way I did, at the exact time I did, was the only thing that saved my life that night. Count the lucky stars for small blessings, I guess.
Had I never been brought in by endogenic systems — had I never been fed such horrific misinformation and believed it, being the naive little shit I was who was clinging to anyone who could explain what was happening to me — I never would’ve gone home that night. I never would’ve thought switching gave me energy, like I’d convinced myself was true. I never would’ve gone back to people I genuinely hated while I was that tired, like I convinced myself they weren’t that bad, because “it’s not like they traumatized me.”
Yes. Car crashes happen because cars are dangerous. Clearly, there’s no deeper reasons why car crashes happen. Clearly, there’s no impact on the person who is driving making poor choices because of what they’ve been taught to believe.
And as a note about how fucking manipulative some parts of the pro/endo community was? The very same people who told me I wasn’t a real traumagenic system, the people who told me switching gives energy, the people who told me to ignore my alter because she was a ‘core’? Their response to my crash??
“Oh no >: I’m so sorry. Sometimes switching doesn’t work like that.”
First I’d ever heard of it. And yet, I remained in those circles and with pro-endos surrounding me for another 4 years.
So anon? Kindly fuck off and think about the fact that you just tried to explain to me that my car crash wasn’t anybody’s fault, when it absolutely was impacted by endogenic systems spreading misinformation to vulnerable traumatized survivors.
Can you tag like heart stufd? I had a heart surgery and like I'm fine but even cute drawings of kinda freak me out and make me think about the possibility of needing another surgery or smth. Not like ❤ or whatever but realistic looking hearts. Idk it's dumb but I was just wondering.
yeah thats no problem!!! i can tag it as #tw heart
An unlovable monster. That was what he was, right? Even now, he was bound to forever to the one standing in the distance. The horror that could never be forgiven.
He sat with his back against the door of the appartment. At least he wasn't at home right now, so there was no one around to judge him. Judge him for falling apart, for not being the emotionless soldier he'd been raised as. He ought be punished for this mess. I should just go back. He thought bitterly. Beg for forgiveness.
The warmth of his blood running down his hand was almost comforting. He'd have to clean up the floor later. Right now, he needed the pain.
@variousvossivixens @reveries-daydream @emiliakane + anyone else who wants to either bully or comfort him
Sexuality: I don't know. He's an asshole who will screw people just to get his way.
Gender: Straight white guy.
Appearance: Dirty blond hair, grey eyes, fair skin that tans in the summer, scars across his face like scratch marks. A brand mark on his stomach and another on his left shoulder. Almost always dressed in uniform with a dog whistle hanging around his neck.
Personality: Asshole. He's a Hydra agent. What did you expect?
Note: Replies are very slow. Marcus is a busy man. It takes awhile to torture everyone.
This blog belongs to Destiny. They will use it as they see fit. If you are not seen as fit, you will be blocked.
Important!! This blog may contain potentially triggering topics such as gore, violence, self-harm, and mentions of (sexual) assault.
Please read this intro post and block tags as needed. The first time your character interacts with mine include an (A) in the tags to let me know that you read this post. If you don't do this, I will ask you to read it and will not interact until you have confirmed it. If you would like to roleplay with Destiny but have a specific trigger, feel free to let me know in the tags, in an ooc post, or by dm.
Character info:
Name: Destiny
Pronouns: He/they
Lovers: Edward ( @edward-darius), Mod ( @mod-does-things), Hemlock ( @variousvossivixens)
Lore:
Named Avis Rook, he was given the alias Destiny after he joined Hydra when he was thirteen. They trained with Hydra for six years before deserting them after killing his superior. Exactly what happened between him and his superior is unknown. (It's known but Destiny nor Hydra have any reason to tell people.) They have been out of Hydra's grasp for a few years now and work mainly under G.A., an rescue and backup operation that avoids being classified as a Private Military by having more medics and runners than official soldiers.
He talks with a slight Russian accent and tends to forget articals (the, a, an). They often dress in dark clothes and fishnets, intentionally breaking styrotypical masiculine fashion styles. They have short blond hair that they usually dye a dark brown.
Children sharing that they're ace spec is, in fact, TMI and inappropriate. You should not be telling strangers how much sexual attraction y ou feel. And it's messed up that adult smade you feel like you have to share that.
an adult did not pressure me into saying that (admittedly if it was through an anon ask you're talking about, i don't know who did, but i highly doubt it was some creep). no one *pressured* me into saying that at all, is what i'm getting at here. sexuality is not inherently about having sex, it's simply about who you are attracted to (and if you believe in it, how). and i sure hope that that alone is acceptable to you because young love is normal and to be expected, even if/when it will most likely end early on due to inexperience and firsts - i can tell you i would know. this is how we learn and as long as nothing sketchy is involved, there should be no cause for concern.
i've been groomed in the past, i've dealt with emotional abuse and manipulation. this is nothing like that. i do genuinely appreciate your concern but this is not comparable. i'd be in much more danger if i revealed my face or even state/city than if i simply say i identify as angled aroace. please just leave me alone (and by that i mean stop trying to convince me firmly; you're still free to discuss in my inbox <3), i promise i'm okay and in no way endangering myself. i've been taking care of myself alone on the internet for years and i've dealt with so much messed-up shit that damaged my mental health over time and none of it had anything to do with identity labels or what you assume to be their unhealthy implications.
again, i have to wonder if you're sending this to other blogs, such as those who are autistic like me (but saying that i'm diagnosed doesn't endanger me?? you didn't mention that even though i do pretty much every other post, curious...) and make being arospec or acespec their entire blogs' focuses. teenagers like myself who do go into detail about how much or how little they crave intimacy on the public internet. i'm not sure what part of my blog itself raises concern for you, because i could think of worse things i've revealed about myself before that have yet to show ugly consequences months or even years down the road.
i'm not mad at you at all, anon. like i said, i appreciate you saying something to me out of worry. but i see it as a nonissue and i think there are probably other minors my age who need the attention and help more. i apologize if me discussing my orientation disgusts you because i'm a minor (and i'm assuming you're an adult here), but it really shouldn't. there's a reason many blogs over 18 state that they do not want minors interacting, which i of course do respect for safety reasons and common sense (i usually don't care at all otherwise, for reasons i've stated before), and if you haven't already then i suggest you implement that into your obvious profile somewhere visibly. but don't take this as me talking down to you, as i'm sure even though we disagree that you're not dumb and have benign intentions.
