silliest shane and/or ilya headcanons for the ask game!
- Obviously we know Shane doesn't really Do social media but I like to imagine him doing his rounds on twitter one day after he and Ilya are married and stumbles on the wealth of RPF people have been writing about them since years before anyone ever caught wind of their relationship. He proceeds to spend an unreasonable amount of time going through as many entries as he can get his hands on.
But he's not jerking it. No, no. He's making the stinkiest most disgusted face at all of the completely and utterly WRONG ideas their fans have of their love life. He's highlighting sections and taking notes and sending them to Rose to mutually bitch about it, then stomping through the house until he finds Ilya and opening their first conversation of the day with "Can you BELIEVE people think I TOP?!" and shoving the one he's recently discovered in his husbands face.
- Ilya eats jello cups without a spoon. He slurps that shit down in one go. Shane "hates" it. Secretly he is shaking uncontrollably thinking about Exactly what that mouth can do. And he's definitely not blushing.
- Shane has a terrible habbit of falling asleep on the couch and drooling all over the nice throw pillows but Ilya literally can't be bothered to say anything to him about it because its literally so precious. He DOES, however, insist on carrying him to bed.
- After Ilya gets Anya Shane starts yesrning for a little kitty critter so so badly so he gets the most adorable sweet gentle little kitten from the shelter who's like 8 months old and so sweet and then they bring her home and she lays eyes on the dog for all of .5 seconds and immediately morphs into the most angry little creature he's ever laid eyes on in his entire life. She's hissing so hard spit flies. She's growling lower and deeper than Shane even thought possible. She's haunched up on her toes with every stra d of fur standing on end. She's "grow-wow-wow-wow-wow"ing from inside the cat carrier. Ilya is literally in tears struggling for breath because its so fucking funny.
- They share clothes so much that it gets to the point where they don't even know what belongs to who. Where did I get this again? Oh actually that was mine. From before we met. Oh. This thing is so old. Does it even fit anymore? no but its sentimental. okay whatever *throws it back in the drawer*
- Ilya makes the uggliest faces when he works out. Shane's NOT into it. Yeah I said it. Its a huge turnoff. He LOVES watching Ilya work out, but he cannot look at Ilya's face while he does. So he just enjoys the view from behind. Not that he's disappointed.
