Letters: What you did (V x Reader Angst)
It’s pretty angsty-- so keep that in mind please!
This is reader x v !!
Spoilers for V’s Route, including: V’s birthname, it’s set after the AE essentially
TW: angst angst angst, almost intent-to-harm but it won’t be fulfilled, slight blaming of an individual
“Jihyun?” You ask as you open the door to the apartment, frightened about how it was unlocked and he didn’t greet you.
Whenever he got home first—which was very common—he was always sure to at least say hello, and if he was running late he’d text.
A little reminder to the controlling nature he had become accustomed to years ago.
It’s not hard to find him, given that he doesn’t really fit many places without aching and groaning about it later. If he’s not on the couch, he’s in the bedroom.
When you walk into the room, you can hear him. His breathing is steady, if ragged at times.
He’s not doing well. It’s clear from the sweat that makes his hair stick to his forehead, the way he huddles in on himself as he shakes, and the fact that he just won’t turn to look at you. You know better than to try to force him.
That’s what she would have done.
“Did you do anything fun today?” You ask, knowing you won’t get a response. Slowly, you lay out the details of your day, and explain how you were upset to find him in such a state. After a couple of minutes, he rubs his eyes and sits up.
He turns to you, his face pale and covered in tears. You reach up to cup his face, and he leans into it. Slowly, you wrap your arms around him, and he begins to sob into your chest. “It’s ok. I’m here, I’m not letting go. I promise, I’m here.”
Eventually, his tears bring nothing but exhaustion, and he falls onto your chest ungracefully. You quickly help him lay down, pulling the blanket up over him before finding a towel to wipe his face off.
Look what you did to him.
Carefully, you wipe his tears off, stopping when he seems disturbed by it.
Almost instinctively you walk back into the main room of your apartment, towards the coffee table. It’s been a while since you had to bring this stuff out, you muse to yourself as you reach behind the books Jihyun never reads.
There, hidden where he’d never think to look because he respects your items, is a small leather covered box. There’s pretty stationary inside, along with several sealed envelopes. They’re not labelled, but you know who they’re for.
You pull out a nice pen, and begin to write.
Look at what you did to him.
You ruined him with your perfect image of society, lashing out onto him when others didn’t comply, when they had no reason to in the first place. No reason other than fear, that is.
You are everything that I hate.
Using others for what they can give you before casting them aside. Manipulating them into becoming something that’s useful to you, even if it means breaking them for others and themselves.
You left him in pieces that I’ve had to put back together.
I did so willingly, but I wish I was able to break you apart for every time you did to him. To make you so small and weak that no one would be able to remember you, let alone recognize you.
Honestly? I’m glad you got sent off. That you’re out of our lives, that everything you stood for disappeared or was changed so you were wiped off of it. I wish I could erase you from him.
But even if I could, he would still be so fucking broken.
So deliberate to claim everything as his own fault. I hope you go so mad you don’t remember him. You don’t deserve to know him.
Quickly, you close the letter, seal it in an envelope, and put it back, shoving it away from your mind and from his sight.
One day, you’ll have the courage to burn them, to get rid of her completely and irrevocably.
But you want him to have the luxury to move past it first. It doesn’t matter how long it takes, but the last thoughts of her will not be his.