#vent prose

[maidensmelancholy]

The poetry you see in life does not diminish the profanity I see in mine. You look toward heavens; I see only the abyss. I cannot contain my tragedy. I cannot swallow it. It would be raw and tearing, like barbed wire at my throat.

Do I ask you to swallow your joy? No. I smile for you, even though that smile stretches the darkness, lengthening the shadowed corridor I must walk.

[castielsbeeslippers]

What I mean to say is I stay up too late and write 400 and 61 words.

( click for better view I’m sorry )

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Thank you to @lilac-void and @hazel-eyed-bi 🥺& @you-cant-spell-subtext-without y’all are the sweetest ! My love and appreciation cannot he overstated !

[putrid-pink]

[hinotorisanarts]

Heavy Thoughts (A Vent Poem

(TW: Violent Metaphors)

I now believe I know why

I haven’t felt the joy of happiness

In what feels like a million years.

I have been doing what I was told.

Not what I love.

Every time I sit

In front of that 3,300 dollar device

I want to have motivation to draw

But I don’t.

The art that I love drawing

Is the only thing keeping me standing.

But school decides

To throw a knife at that ankle.

Homework decides

To slash the other one.

And my extra work? Oh, the pile of work

That’s sitting in the back of my head

Is the cruelest of all.

It floods my brain with toxins

Poisoning my veins

My bones

My blood.

And then when I’m at my weakest

It takes it’s dagger

Draws it back

And pierces my flesh

Cutting straight through my heart.

And as I decay

As I bleed out

All of my motivation

Is lost with my blood.

My ideas

Those ideas

The ideas that I love

Are rendered

”Idiotic.”

”Stupid.”

”Useless.”

”Meaningless.”

”Garbage.”

Literall

Garbage.

They are thrown into my brain’s wastebin

Like they were nothing.

Nothing.

I want to be free of these chains.

I want to have more time to do

What I love.

I want to have the motivation to do

What I love.

I want to have the strength to do

What I love.

Yet I am robbed of that.

By school.

By homework.

By time.

Ah, time.

My old nemesis.

How great it is to cross paths with you

Once again.

Here to make my life even more miserable.

Here to make my days feel like minutes.

Here to make my world

A world that I do not wish to live in.

If only I was an eternal being.

I would have all of the time in the universe.

An idea for this.

A storyline for that.

A drawing idea.

No, THOUSANDS of drawing ideas.

A collage of my Original Personas.

A gathering of my Original Characters.

Reference sheets.

SO MANY reference sheets.

Bios.

SO MANY bios.

A manga.

An anime.

A graphic novel.

An animated series.

A town.

A world.

A universe.

These are things that have partially been created.

Wether physically or in my mind.

These are things that I WANT to create.

That I NEED to create.

That I love to create.

But I can’t.

I just can’t...

I now believe I know why

I haven’t felt the joy of happiness

In what feels like a million years.

I have been doing what I was told.

Not what I love.

[crownedcroweprince]

I am not the springing flowers when it warms,

I am the snow melt losing form,

I flow in by the line drawn in the sand.

Real or imagined, something I can't understand,

Because the trials and traumas of the past,

Carved away a heart clear and delicate as glass.

Bandage these hands that carry the pieces,

Grind them into sand,

To fill the lines imagined that I can not cross,

Because they made a vampire out of me.

[kurikasuta]

Of roses, and of swords.

Blades that pierce; scattering petals onto the floor.

Of sins that stain the white roses into crimson; beautiful and vibrant.

Blood that was shed in silence, and your head lowers to me still; “Your highness,”

as I am turned away; I too covered in blood, and shame.

For I’ve fallen astray, and forgotten how to make them all pay. But that is what God is for- all forgiving, no matter the sin, no matter how many more.

Yet God is a lie; a beautiful lie, told through stories and tales and books written and preached by humans, people slaughtered and stabbed, beaten and bruised, in the name of God, I am pure. I am a ruse.

I am a sinner. Sinners do not forget; they remember, they regret, they preach, and they learn-

Through repentance they breathe; through repentance and endless pain, we discern

What must be done and what must not, punishment, as they say. Perhaps it is fate, and perhaps it lies within choice.

Let us rejoice; for it has awakened, my accidents are not mistaken. Banished to Earth for all my sin and all my whimsy; perhaps someday, centuries later, I shall sing hymns again; blessed to have more wings granted to I, before they are ripped off, and ripped out is my voice; and my gaze takes to the sky, closing my eyes.

Respecting His choice.

[fadingember]

wrote a vent piece today

[jooldidyoueatmysandwich]

"The only person you can never say 'no' to is yourself"

the only person I can never say 'no' to is myself

.

.

.

but I did

I did it so many times

I did it so well and so often

it's almost second nature

I did

"you chose to"

no

I had no choice

I didn't feel like I had a choice

I was made to

I was taught to

.

.

.

he only cries alone or when he's drunk out of his mind

when he can't point fingers and spit out flames anymore

you cry out of words if they hit you right

just like me

but I saw you cry first

I didn't know what it meant to you

but I knew what it meant to me

it doesn't matter that I was so young

it doesn't matter that I didn't know better then

when you make a decision like that, it's etched in your veins for life

I guess that's what I was trying to cut out

.

.

.

I can never hurt you

I can never do you wrong

I'm not allowed to

I can't hate you

I see your flaws and I see where you did me wrong but I don't have the voice to say it

I love you in ways other than I should because that's what you get when you flip it upside down

I promised Id never become one of those pesky rebellious teens

I never did

not to you

you never knew

you never could know

it'd hurt you

it'd hurt me even more to see I did it

I do it

but you must never know

I'm sorry

I'm sorry

I'm sirry

I'm sorry

I'm sorry

I'm sorry

I'm sorry