#viraha

[syamakrishna]

Virahaḥ

How do I explain to my friends why I'm so drawn to Kannaiya? How do I put into words the ache I feel in my chest every evening when I look at the sky? How do I explain that I’ve always loved blue, but now it consumes me—so much so that I find myself surrounding myself with it? That the sound of a flute instantly reminds me of you? That peacock feathers seem more beautiful than ever, as if they hold a secret only I can see?

How do I explain that yellow, too, has become just as dear to me? That I feel a quiet guilt because my love for you isn’t the kind people would easily accept? That my thoughts are filled with you, day and night, leaving little room for anything else? That I no longer find interest in topics that don’t somehow lead back to you? That the mere mention of your name, the sound of someone speaking about you with love, fills me with joy?

How do I explain that singing kritis dedicated to you brings me an indescribable happiness? That I find myself drawn to your friends and devotees, just to see glimpses of you through their stories? That I seek your sister and friend, not for them alone, but because they lead me to you? How do I explain that I’ve come to love your sister deeply, knowing she carries the same tatvam as you?

How do I admit that I struggle to step into temples where Lakshmi or Radha reside? That jealousy burns within me because they are eternally by your side? That I turn away from them in temples, yet in the solitude of my room, I find myself pleading for their grace, just to feel closer to you?

How do I explain that Meera and Andal feel like kindred souls, that I understand their longing as if it were my own? That I’ve tried to suppress these feelings, to let them go, yet all I want is to have you beside me—as both a friend and a lover? That I search for glimpses of you in every man I meet, only to be repelled when they lack your essence?

How do I explain this obsession without being judged or labeled? How do I tell you that I’m growing weary of friendships where you are absent?

And more than anything—how do I explain all of this to you?

[arunparia]

Red Bus

Should we grieve each other? We’re both still alive.

Our sadness feeds on bitter fumes, and memories ride a red bus.

Are you leaving? My peace of mind takes the window seat.

What little’s left belongs to neither you nor me.

I’ll give this misery another name. Please — give me back mine.

Keep your grievance, and my forgetting — but travel on a red bus.

This forgetting, too, is a long halt. Let’s stretch our legs awhile.

Let’s imagine we never loved each other: just rode together on the red bus. 

[kaal-naagin]

True Love has the habit of coming back

(Pictures:

1. Lord Shiva uplifting the corpse of Sati Maata and feeling Viraha

2.Shiva-Parvati Vivaha

3.Sita Maata entering Patala

4.Maata Rukmini and Lord Krishna)

Tagging:@nirmohi-premika @jukti-torko-golpo @krishnaart @krishnapriyakiduniya @krishna-sahacharini @krishna-priyatama @shyamsakhii @sanskari-kanya @enigma-the-mysterious @chaanv @shut-up-rabert @budugu @witchhere @desi-stree @just-a-seashell-in-kavaratti @janaknandini-singh999

[klein-san-ton-calvin]

Viraha (hindi): η συνειδητοποίηση ότι αγαπάς κάποιον μόνο αφού είστε χωριστά

[aftercamlann]

Watered Down

words by @bgn846 and art by @viraha Summary:  Arthur owns a grand estate in the English countryside and he’s just started a restoration project on the grounds. Unfortunately for him, Merlin is the ‘stickler for rules’ inspector sent out to give him permits and such. What follows may or may not be the worst battle of wills ever conducted. After some mishaps, including a terrible contractor (Cenred), a few misunderstandings, annoying delays, and a near-death experience they do that wonderful enemies to lovers thing. Click HERE for the story and HERE for the art!

[fly-underground]

six hundred and seventy nine: 2022

i didn’t know if i wanted to write this—and i didn’t know if i could write this. that’s the metaphor for 2022. one must imagine sisyphus happy. i don’t know if i was happy this year. if i’m honest, i spent a lot of this year feeling lost, overwhelmed, very out of control. i started sleeping with my laptop again, some show blaring me to sleep. at one point, i couldn’t sleep. it took five days for me to become so exhausted that i finally, finally passed out.

i guess the point is, i did eventually sleep. it’s that way with everything. that’s the good news. listen, in january, my heart was crushed again. it didn’t feel like a blessing, but it was. last year, when the clock struck midnight, i was praying a text message would appear. i hate what i’m like when a man is disappointing me. i know i should feel more rage, but really i feel terror. so when it ended, on the coldest weekend of old january, i sobbed, i starved, i survived. it was over.

i didn’t have sex at all this year. i did go to the doctor. i cried at the doctor’s. i went to the dentist. i cried outside the dentist, for my terrible teeth, that became glorious teeth. my dentist tells me i have beautiful teeth and i know it’s true.

i saw my family more this year. my mother and brother and cory. they are everything to me. i can’t believe all the times i take them for granted. we’re all so mortal. i thought so much about endings this year, and how even when i’m exhausted, hopeless, scared, i don’t want it to. i don’t want things to end.

i traveled to los angeles, costa rica, philadelphia. all those plane rides. i used to be so scared of flying. i used to look out the window and think what if we fall? it’s silly because we don’t. we never do.

the biggest thing of my year was the release of two new books. two books in two years was tough, incredible, a fucking joy. for so long, i just wanted to write these books, these different, hard, haunting poems. and then when i did, i wanted them to get published. i wanted people to read them. i can hardly believe it happened, that they both made their way into the world in the same year. OUR SYNONYMS: An Epic came out in july, and just this month, VIRAHA, was released. 

there’s less than half an hour until 2023, so i just want to say that i hope next year is better. i hope i’m better too. that i feel better, do better, live better. whoever you are, wherever you are reading this, thank you for spending any time at all with me in this space. it is still one of my favorite places, this corner of the internet. it brings me great peace, and i hope you have that. and, if you ever lose it, i hope you find it again, in spades.

[avengerscompound]

Viraha

Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers Synopsis:  Steve Rogers didn’t know what he had until he kept losing it, again and again. Prompt:  Stucky + Viraha

VIRAHA{Hindi}

(n.) the realization of love through separation

There was a time that Bucky was always just there.  Steve knew that when he went downstairs to walk to school, Bucky would be leaning against the stoop, waiting for him to come down.  While they weren’t in the same class, he knew that when he got into the inevitable fistfight during lunch, Bucky would be there, stepping in.  Even when he didn’t want him to.  Even when it made him feel even smaller to have him do that.

He was there on weekends, messing around together even as he hit on girls.  He was there when they both dropped out of school to get jobs.  He was there when his mom died.  Bucky was a constant in his life.  Where there was that scrawny Stevie kid, there was Bucky.  They were two peas in a pod.

Steve loved Bucky.  Of course, he did.  But it was a love that was unspoken and taken for granted.  He was a constant and that familiarity made it hard to realize how special it was.

It wasn’t until he left for war, that Steve realized there was more there.  When he woke up in the morning and he wasn’t greeted to the sound of Bucky breathing in the bed beside him.  He realized he missed his familiar, reassuring presence.  Even the army training and experiment and USO tour didn’t dull that ache in his heart.

Steve loved him.  He loved him with every part of him.  It burned in him.  He didn’t know why he couldn’t figure that out while he had him there with him.  It took him losing him again and again how much Steve needed Bucky.  How without him it was like a piece of him was missing.  The piece that made him Steve.

He wished he’d realized sooner.

More than that, he wished he’d stop losing him.

[okanb]

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