A little oneshot based on this concept by @kiddiesides !!
CW: fainting, crying, general sickness, hospital mentions, small mentions of repression
Characters: Thomas, Patton, mentions of the rest of the sides/Nico
Summary: It’s been a long and stressful few days for Patton, he just wants his dad.
Wordcount: 1366 words, 7,599 characters
It had only been two days after the initial fainting when Thomas was allowed to be released from the hospital, his parents happily driving him back home whilst Nico took care of their kids. Once he had walked through the door, around 6pm on a Thursday night, he was immediately swarmed by all of his kiddos, hugging him tight and mumbling how they missed him. Of course, throughout the time he was admitted to hospital, visits were allowed, but this time, dad was home!
Nico chuckled softly at the cuddle pile, giving Thomas a quick kiss on his cheek and offering to make them all dinner. He insisted for Thomas to rest, asking Patton to help him with making the pasta for dinner that night - of course, Patton was fully allowed to say no, but the oldest of the six happily accepted.
It did not take long for the food to be finished, Patton silently plating the table with a neutral expression on his face. Nico assumed this was simply tiredness, prompting him to sit down once the meal was finished and placed in the centre of the table. Without question, Patton did as he was told, half-listening to Nico announcing dinner being ready.
The remaining six family members came quickly to the dining area, Virgil still refusing to let go of Thomas. A familiar chatter dissolved over the room, Thomas sharing silly stories from the hospital and the kiddos catching him up on the events that occurred in his absence. However, Patton seemed distant from the conversation, determined to keep his head down as he ate and only speak when spoken too. It did not take long for Thomas to notice this, especially since Patton would often shoot worried glances in his father’s direction, looking back down when Thomas seemed to make eye contact.
Once everybody had eaten their dinner and cleaned up after themselves, the younger kids needing help from Thomas or Nico, the former of the pair gently announced they would all be going to bed a little earlier tonight. Whilst Thomas was in the hospital, he was told that the kids were not sleeping well with their dad gone - now he was back, he wanted to make sure each kid caught up on their lack of sleep.
A few of the younger kids protested this early bedtime, but Patton just quietly took Virgil to help him get ready for bed. Being so young, he hardly understood the concept of when and what bedtime was, happy to have some time with his older brother. Together, the two got changed into the pyjamas, and Patton assisted Virgil in very gently brushing the few teeth he had. Patton did not brush his own, though, too focused on cleaning up Vee’s mouth and bringing him to bed. Silence fell across the smaller’s room, the remainder of their siblings in a bathroom or their own bedroom, getting dressed into comfier clothes. It did not take Virgil to fall asleep, Patton softly making up a story of how Prince Vee helped saved King Daddy when he was feeling sick. Though each word that fell out of his mouth reminded him how completely terrifying the situation only a few days prior was, he pushed through, able to get his brother sleeping soundly.
A built up sigh left Patton’s mouth, kissing his brother’s head and pulling the blanket closer to the baby. He sat lingering for several more seconds, before his brothers called from the other room - Roman was being poked by Remus’ toothbrush, and Janus was yelling about how Thomas “isn’t putting the scale cream on properly!”. With a small, sad smile on his face, Patton made his way towards the rest of his family to be of assistance. I just have to push through 10 more minutes of this, and then I’ll be alone in my room, he thought, gently lecturing Remus to be nicer to his twin. Just a bit longer, then I can sleep, the thought continued, applying the scale cream to Janus’ face the same exact way as their dad, but it was different to him for some reason.
Finally, finally, all of his siblings were sound asleep, making his way to his own room. Of course, he loved his family more than life itself, but being able to walk into a private room for time to himself was a euphoric feeling. He crawled into his bed, getting underneath the covers and pulling a stuffed animal to his chest - a frog that Thomas had bought for him a few years prior at a yard sale, before half of Patton’s siblings had appeared. He gripped the sides of the frog, the stuffed animal that was once so big compared to him now the size of his torso.
Patton started crying. For the past few days, he had been holding it back, trying to be strong. Though a few tears slipped on the phone call to Nico, and his breath shook when they left the hospital for visiting hours, and he stared sadly at the bathroom door whenever he locked himself in there to be alone, he did not sob. He let himself cry for who knows how long, before hearing a gentle knock on the door - he knew it was Thomas, he’d memorised how each member of his family knocked on the door.
Quickly, Patton wiped his tears, sitting up on his bed, “come in.”
Thomas opened the door, smiling sadly, “Hey kiddo. Thank you for helping so much today.” He walked into his son’s room, shutting the door behind him and sitting on his bed.
“‘Course,” Patton mumbled, slightly worried he was going to be told off. Did he hurt Thomas when he initially fainted? Maybe how he lectured Remus wasn’t good enough?
Thomas went to gently ask him if he was feeling alright, but noticed his tear-stained cheeks and red eyes, unable to beat around the bush, fully knowing how insistent Patton was of being “fine” to not worry his father further. “Were you crying, Pattycake?”
The comment made his anxiety jump a little, rubbing his eyes roughly, “Maybe a little, but I’m fine dad, just tired.”
“You don’t need to be fine, it’s been scary, huh?” Thomas spoke gently, taking Patton’s hands so he could not rub his eyes further, “it's just you and dad, kiddo, you can tell me anything.”
Though a few seconds of silence passed, Patton soon fell into his dad’s arms, sobbing into his chest. Most of what he said was incomprehensible, Thomas able to make out the words “sorry”, “scary” and “pressure”.
He did not interrupt his son, gently rubbing Patton’s back and rocking him as he let himself cry. Intermittently, he pressed kisses to his forehead, gently wiping any tears he saw with his sleeve if Patton looked up to meet eyes with him.
The two sat like this for several minutes, the sobs eventually dissolving into sad hiccups and a few more mumbles about how sorry Patton was. Thomas kissed the remaining tears away from Patton’s face, eliciting giggles from his oldest.
“Are you feeling any better, kiddo?” Patton quickly nodded at the question, making Thomas smile sadly, “you did so well, Patt, I wouldn’t have known what to do when I was 12.”
Patton sniffled softly, muttering how he needs to know to keep his brothers safe.
He felt his father cupping his face in his hands, melting into the warm skin - a few smaller tears fell again. Truthfully, Patton was so scared, mumbling to Thomas on how he tried his best to stay brave to not worry any of his brothers.
“You did so well, kiddo,” Thomas smiled sadly, kissing his nose gently, “let me make you a hot chocolate, we can stay up longer watching TV, yeah?”
Patton nodded happily at that, grabbing the frog stuffie again to bring with him. Thomas noticed, cooing happily.
“You still have Strawberry?” he asked softly, stroking the one-fluffy material of the stuffed animal. Patton nodded, making Thomas beam, “We should get you a new stuffie, hm? I think Build-a-Bear has frogs, don’t they? We could go together, just you and me!”
Pairing: Moxiety
Warnings: Pushing yourself too far despite pain, medicine, anxiety
Genre: Hurt/Comfort
Characters: Patton, Virgil
Character notes: autistic nonbinary Patton (he/they), autistic nonbinary Virgil (they/xe)
Summary: Virgil has a flare up, but still tries to be a helpful partner
Wordcount: 3236 words, 18932 characters
Happy late 2 years, @andromedaspace <3
Virgil’s eyes slowly opened, staring towards the open door of their bedroom. It was odd for the door to be open; they were consistently insistent on shutting all windows and doors before falling asleep. They rolled over, going to put an arm around Patton but collided with pillows and stuffed animals instead; through half-lidded eyes, xe was able to process their absence. A slight dread filled them - for the few months they had shared an apartment, they had formed a routine on days Patton worked. Virgil would almost always wake up first, making the two a breakfast and preparing Patton with a packed lunch for the day. It would not take long for Patton to wake up naturally, enjoying breakfast with their husband as the two watched television together. They would let Virgil know what needed to be done for the day as they finished the food, sharing a kiss before leaving for work.
But Patton wasn’t here. Slowly, Virgil went to get out of bed, feeling xyr bones ache. A sigh escaped their mouth, hoping Patton was at least still home as xe went to make the bed. Despite the pain, Virgil begrudgingly finished the task - it wasn’t to the best standard, not in the slightest, but it was passable as a made bed. They blinked harshly, attempting to wake themselves up faster and grabbing their phone, walking out of the bedroom door and stumbling down the stairs. Entering the living room, Virgil noticed the time on a clock - it was past ten now. There was a sense of guilt starting to build up inside of xem due to the fact xe was unable to prepare breakfast and lunch for them, let alone say goodbye to their partner. With a half-hearted attempt to push these feelings away, Virgil checked to see if Patton had at least texted xem a goodbye. To xyr delight, he did! From the contact “Patt <3”, a message read
“Good morning darling! I hope you enjoyed the lie in. And there’s something on the counter for you! Love you ❤️❤️”
Knowing that Patton would be working at this hour, xe didn’t worry too hard about texting back immediately, smiling at the hearts and going to check what Patton had left for xem. Within a second of entering the kitchen, Virgil was able to smell their surprise - a plate of home-baked cookies sat on the counter , alongside several dishes needing to be cleaned. Though it would have been over an hour since they were removed from the oven, the scent of freshly baked goods lingered around the room, filling Virgil with slight happiness as xe removed the cling film and took a cookie to eat as breakfast. Even if xyr bones still ached, they felt a moral obligation to clear up the space they lived in, moving the dishes from Patton’s baking and last night's dinner closer to the sink. Xe started to run the water, chewing on the baked good happily. Chocolate melted inside their mouth. It was still warm. Virgil turned off the tap once the sink was filled, leaning over to more effectively clean and silently cursing xemself for being so tall.
It didn’t take long for xem to finish, placing the last plate into the cabinet. Their pain became almost unbearable now, especially in their back. Xe took another cookie to eat, taking a bite and then letting the cookie sit between their teeth as they scrambled into the medicine cabinet to find the ibuprofen. A tall glass was filled with water once the last crumb of cookie was swallowed. Afterwards, they took the pain relief with the liquid - probably more water than necessary, but xe was extremely anxious about the pills being stuck in their throat. The glass was quickly cleaned and put back into the cabinet. Virgil removed their phone from their grey sweatpants pocket, opening their text messages and clicking on the most recent conversation, Patton’s.
“ty for the cookies patt <33 i did the dishes, is there anything else that needs to be done?”
Virgil hardly expected an instant reply, though they stayed looking at the phone screen for a few more seconds. Xe pushed their arms above their head, extending their legs as they stretched and cracking at least three bones in the process. It felt nicer - the pain was still apparent, but the stretch and medicine would hopefully be helping. Without a reply from their partner, Virgil decided to make their way back upstairs and get dressed out of pyjamas, as that had been their primary clothes of choice for the past couple of days. Reentering the bedroom, xe made xyr way to their personal closet, looking through the array of black clothing with only several splashes of other colours mixed in. Thanks to the winter cold, xe looked mostly towards the collection of sweaters separated from the rest of their clothes. After several seconds of consideration, they changed into a large, purple turtleneck, putting their previously worn clothes onto the chair that accompanied a desk - coldness still engulfed them. Inspecting the remainder of cosy clothes they owned, their mind finally landed on an oversized cardigan, unsurprisingly in black. Slipping it over their turtleneck and doing up the buttons, xe then moved towards their jewellery stand. Without a second thought, they took their two favourite necklaces; one being a simple chain necklace, and the other being a gift from Patton, a photograph of him inside a heart-shaped locket.
Once the jewellery was placed around their neck, Virgil started to walk to the small bathroom opposite their room. Absent mindlessly, xe took their black eyeshadow and started to smear it onto and below their eyelids with a finger, guided a little by the vitiligo that surrounded their eyes. Once there was enough makeup caked onto their face to positively resemble a raccoon, white liquid eyeliner was messily applied, clearly uneven. They didn’t have enough spoons to care. Without bothering to apply any lipstick, as that would require removing their snakebite rings, xe quickly started to brush their teeth, though it wasn’t nearly for the suggested amount of time- they spit the waste into the basin, looking up to the mirror. They flashed a small smile and revealed sharp, now clean, teeth. Quickly fixing their split-dyed black and purple hair, Virgil determined their appearance good enough, making their way back downstairs and rechecking their phone as they did so. Despite not expecting a reply from Patton, the lack of one did bring down xyr mood by a smidge.
Two and a half hours passed, and Virgil’s phone finally buzzed with a notification. For these few hours, xe was unable to do anything productive due to their fluctuating pain, deciding to simply watch something on TV and switch between the same several apps on their phone. Excitedly, xe unlocked their phone once they realised it was Patton, and tapped onto the notification from their partner.
“I can’t think of any other tasks! Just rest today <3”
Virgil pouted a little at the reply, texting back to say that is all xe has been doing. Xe then took a quick, slightly blurry, selfie, commenting on how they did makeup to not feel completely lazy. Patton happily liked the message, replying back with a gay comment and a photo of themselves - they sat in the backrooms whilst wearing their work uniform, their blue dyed hair tucked into a hat sporting the store logo to get past the dress code. Their lunch sat in front of them, a half-eaten sandwich and a bag of chips, both from a vending machine, as well as a large cup of coffee. The sight of said meal made Virgil feel quite guilty, as they were the one to usually prepare Patton’s lunch. He was fully capable of crafting a home made lunch, but it was something he disliked doing.
“you shouldve woken me up to make u lunch >:c”
“I wanted you to sleep in!
You stayed up late last night”
Virgil wasn’t able to argue with that fact, since it was simply true. Xe had stayed up until 2am, insisting on finishing all the tasks that needed to be completed.
“i guess soooo”
Both partners continued to talk for the next twenty or so minutes, Virgil’s social battery slowly recharging at the relaxing conversation. No topics were serious, Patton talking about the customers that he had served, and Virgil talking about what they had seen on television, or something xe saw mentioned on social media. Eventually, Patton did have to go back to work, saying goodbye and sending heart emojis. Reluctantly, Virgil sent them a message back, adding too many hearts. Xe missed them, maybe a little too much.
The remainder of Patton’s shift left Virgil in bored loneliness. Though it took a couple more hours, once xe received the text that xyr partner was finishing up his shift, they became ecstatic - not only would Patton be returning, but this would mean that dinner would have to be made, giving Virgil back xyr self-assigned purpose of taking care of Patton. Xe finally got off their ass, walking to the kitchen to start preparing dinner so it would hopefully be completed by the time Patton came through the door. Due to their lack of energy, xe landed on just making some box pasta, filling a pot with water and putting it onto a boil. As the water started to heat, small bubbles forming, Virgil wandered around the kitchen, grabbing the remainder of the ingredients and placing them next to the plate of cookies. They took their third cookie of that day. Humming softly to xyrself, Virgil looked towards the clock, trying to do half-accurate maths in an attempt to calculate what time Patton would be arriving home. From the simple mathematics, xe was able to assume that their partner would be home in twenty five minutes or so.
Surprisingly, Virgil was almost spot-on for once, as the aforementioned person entered the apartment twenty three minutes later. By now, Virgil was almost fully immersed in their cooking, wearing large headphones that blasted xyr playlist loudly, resulting in an inability to hear their surroundings. Noticing this factor, Patton walked behind their unexpecting husband, wrapping their arms around xyr waist, as well as leaning their chin onto xyr shoulder. Abrupt contact always took Virgil by surprise, resulting in them jumping a little bit - once xe realised who it was, xe relaxed, leaning xyr head back. As Patton was able to hear the previously mentioned music through the headphones, they gently removed one earcup, calmly asking xyr to pause the song. The shorter did as xe was instructed, using their free hand to temporarily stop the playlist.
“G’evening to you,” Virgil smiled softly, fangs showing through lightly.
“Good evening to you, too,” Patton placed their hand over Virgil’s, assististing them in stirring the food. “How’s dinner coming along?”
“Going well!” Xyr attempt of not being flustered was a failure, a slight blush spreading over their brown skin, “how was your last shift?”
“It went well, it wasn’t too busy! How have you been, Vee?”
It was quickly clear the question made Virgil somewhat uncomfortable, xyr smile fading a little, “mhm… y’know.”
Patton was able to pick up one this almost immediately, developing a skill of being able to read Virgil’s true feelings like a book. He held xyr closer and kissed their cheek.
“Do you wanna talk about it?” There was a slight hesitation, but xe nodded, quietly telling Patton to go change out of their uniform first. They agreed to this, making their way upstairs as Virgil added the finishing touches to the food, letting anxiety stir in their brain.
Several minutes later, Patton returned, wearing loose white shorts as well as one of Virgil’s sweaters - a black jumper with a large skull and crossbones in the centre. Xe turned their head, blushing slightly - the sight of their partner wearing xyr clothes never failing to fluster xem. After a second of hesitation, xe turned their whole body to face the blue haired person, opening xyr arms towards the general direction of xyr partner.
Happily obliging, Patton wrapped their arms around Virgil, holding them with hands stroking at the back of their head, “hey honey. What’s wrong?”
Virgil clearly tensed up, “I missed you… a lot. I felt kinda… useless without your instruction.” Xe admitted softly, “I didn’t like our routine being broken, ‘nd I didn’t like that I couldn’t kiss you goodbye.”
“Oh, gosh. I’m so sorry love, I wouldn’t of done anything like that if I knew it would upset you,” Patton held them closer, “not in a million years.”
Sadly, Virgil placed xyr head on their chest, looking up to them through cloudy eyes, “you promise?”
“Pinkie promise.”
The shorter nodded, nuzzling closer and mumbling how adorable Patton looked in xyr clothes, resulting in the latter giggling slightly and thanking his husband. He kissed their forehead several times, gently suggesting to xem that they should eat dinner in bed that night, ensuing in Virgil gladly agreeing to this deal. Xe opens a cabinet, unsheathing two bowls whilst Patton collects a tray and some cutlery, making sure to acquire the forks with rubber grips. Touching metal was a texture Virgil hated.
Whilst staying close together, the two walked upstairs before entering their shared bedroom, slipping underneath the sheets with slight awkwardness, not wanting to spill the food on the light blue fabric. Patton set down the large tray that spreads across the pair's laps, followed by Virgil placing down the bowls. A lighthearted movie was put onto the television, and the two started to eat their meal in a comfortable silence, refusing to leave more than two inches between them. Only a handful of minutes passed before Patton yawned widely, blinking harshly and leaning their head on Virgil’s shoulder.
“Is someone tired?” xe cooed softly, smirking at the small whine xe got as a reply, “you’ve had a long work day, darling.”
“It was a normal length shift,” Patton mumbled in slight embarrassment, a blush spreading across their tan skin once Virgil pressed a little kiss to their freckled cheek.
“You always work harder than most, though,” xe commented, using one hand to lift their fork, and the other to gently play with Patton’s hair. They couldn’t dispute this, leaning into the hand with a giggle and continuing to eat themselves.
Several more minutes passed. Patton was almost finished with their bowl, once again yawning before the fork could reach their lips. Virgil moved their hand from his hair to his shoulder, placing an arm around the taller one. The smaller leaned closer, gently asking if they should go to bed now - xe had finished their meal moments prior. A whine emerged from the tired person.
“Mmhm? What’s up?” Virgil asked.
“We gotta get ready for bed. You still got makeup on!” Alike to Virgil’s strict morning routine, Patton had formed a night time routine, and became uneasy at this pattern being broken.
“Alright, love,” xe pressed a kiss to Patton’s face, removing xemself from their bed and helping the latter person up. After handing over the tray to the other, Virgil went to remake the slightly messy bed as Patton made their way downstairs to the kitchen.
These two tasks did not take long to complete, Virgil and Patton eventually meeting back up in the bathroom, sharing a quick kiss. With a slight blush spreading across their face, Patton took both of Virgil’s hands and looked down to meet their eyes, gently asking if they could take of xyr makeup for xem as they slowly turned more red; Virgil happily accepted the offer. With a small giggle, Patton took a makeup wipe, holding their face in one hand, almost as if they were the most precious thing in the world, and gently sweeping away the eyeliner and eyeshadow with the other. The gentleness of their hold and how ticklish the touch was caused child-like laughter to spill from Virgil’s mouth, wiggling xyr entire body to stim. It did not take long for Virgil to become clean faced once again, beaming up to Patton, and laughing once again when the former pressed a kiss to xyr lips. Xe lingered on the kiss, breaking it after a couple of seconds before handing Patton his toothbrush and taking their own.
Once their teeth were clean, Patton sleepily smiled towards Virgil, wrapping their arms around the smaller person and yawning once again. They nuzzled their face into the crook of their neck, letting out a small noise similar to that of a purr when their partner started to stroke their hair.
“C’mon, starlight, it’s time for bed,” xe cooed softly, continuing to pet their hair. The comment elicited another whine from Patton.
“Noooo… you gotta get changed,” they murmured, using one finger to half-heartedly play with one of the necklaces xe was wearing.
Virgil chuckled softly, “I can’t get changed if you’re clinged to me.” Though xe said this, xe did not make any attempt to remove their partner from xyr body. A feeble noise came from Patton once again, burrowing their face further into Virgil, and weakly attempting to remove the necklaces xe was wearing, despite leaning on the jewellery. This just coerced another laugh out of Virgil, removing Patton’s arms from xemself and gently picking them up bridal style. The action caused Patton to squeal loudly, leading their head underneath Virgil’s chin and wrapping his arms around Virgil once again for extra support. Though Patton was almost a head taller than the latter, xe enjoyed working out specifically for the purpose of lifting xyr partner.
It took several seconds of fiddling with Virgil’s necklaces as xe brought the two back into the bedroom before Patton realised which ones xe was wearing - the heart-shaped locket with a photo of himself inside. They let out a small giggle, commenting to Virgil it was the one they had made for xem for their one year anniversary.
“I know, Patt,” Virgil set them down gently on the edge of the bed, going to take both necklaces off, “it’s definitely my favourite necklace I’ve ever had.”
Virgil continued xyr actions nonchalantly, placing the necklaces back on the stand and turning back to Patton - he was squealing into their hands, moving their legs up and down in excitement. With a small smile, Virgil kissed their partner’s forehead, repeating their compliment and stimming alongside him by twisting xyr hands.
“You wanna get change now?” Patton suggested, starting to calm down a little. Virgil nodded, giving Patton one last kiss before removing the cardigan and sweater and placing them on their desk chair alongside earlie’s clothes, deciding that was an issue for tomorrow Virgil. Xe grabbed a dark blue sweater and slipped it on, as well as a purple-patched black hoodie, as Virgil was always seemingly cold.
Giving Patton one final kiss, Virgil climbed into bed and carefully pulled him next to them. Xe gently removed his glasses, placing them on the bedside.. The shorter grabbed the blanket, tucking both of them in and snuggling close to xyr partner.
“Patt?” Virgil spoke softly, a hint of anxiousness in their voice.
“Mh?”
“Will you be here when I wake up?”
“I will, love.”
“Mmhm…” Virgil looked away from Patton, “promise?”
“Pinkie promise,” Patton pressed their heads together, sharing one last kiss and exchanging goodnights.
Pairings: Familial Moceit, mentions of romantic Intruloceit
Warnings: Depression, minimal cursing, slight mention of insecurity/anxiety, it’s all hurt/comfort!
Characters: Janus Hart-Green, Patton Hart, Remus Sanders [mentioned]
Character notes: Janus uses any pronouns [preference to they/she], Patton uses he/they. They are step siblings! Janus is dating Remus and Logan, but they don’t appear past being mentioned.
Summary: Janus plans to go out on a date, but once she realises Patton’s mental state, those plans change.
Gift for @andromedaspace
Wordcount: 1,766 words, 9,973 characters
Janus hummed softly to herself as she finished her outfit with a patch-and-pin covered denim jacket, looking himself up and down in the mirror. She adjusted her snakebite piercings, flashing one last smile to herself before going to leave the bathroom, heading towards her older brother’s room. As both their mom’s were out on a date, it gave Janus an opportunity to have his own date with his boyfriends. Still smiling to herself, she lightly knocked on the baby blue door.
“Paaatt? I’m going out, I’ll be back in a few!”
They waited several seconds for a reply, growing slightly concerned when they didn’t receive one. The last time the two had talked, five or six hours ago during lunch, Patton didn’t look fully okay. This fact, along with the lack of reply, worried the younger slightly, urging Janus to slowly push open the bedroom door.
“Patton? You okay?” She asked gently, peeking their head around the corner to look at Patton's bed in the middle of the room; he lay there, curled up inside his blanket.
They weren’t asleep, much to the surprise of Janus. Patton turned over reluctantly - he was not sporting his usual glasses, which resulted in him squinting to his sister.
“Jay?” his voice was tired, almost broken.
Attempting to not drop his smile, Janus waved to him, “hey, Patt. Can I come in?”
“You’re already in my room,” Patton chuckled sadly, adjusting in place slightly, “but yeah, com’in.”
“But my feet weren’t, so I technically wasn’t in your room,” they took off his Doc Martens at the door, fondly remembering the lighthearted disagreements the two got in when they had first moved in together.
The comment elicited a sad laugh from Patton, making room for his sister on the bed, “Jayyy, y’know what I meant.”
“Maybe I didn’t?” She was happy to hear their laugh, moving carefully through the room due to it’s mess. It didn’t take long for her to reach the bed, flopping down onto the now free space next to Patton, “so…”
“So?”
“What’s up, Patt?”
The sad smile on his face started to fade, refusing eye contact with Janus, “oh… y’know…”
“But I don’t. Come on, hon, talk to me,” she urged gently.
Silence fell over the room, only being broken once Patton let out a soft sigh, “I don’t know, and… and that’s the issue. I just-” he let out a smaller sigh, “I want everything to be okay right now.”
“You don’t need to be okay right now. I’m here to help you,” the younger gently took Patton’s hands in his, “I’ll help you take baby steps to feel better, even if it’s one little thing at a time.”
Patton bit his lip slightly, gently squeezing Janus’ hands back, “you promise?”
“Pinkie promise,” she kept their voice quiet, “c’mon, let’s start small. Wanna go get a pizza?”
“But there’s other things to do, like…” Patton vaguely gestured towards the floor of his room, “that.”
“Cleaning is tomorrow Patton’s problem, for now,” Janus went to stand, “we’re gonna get a pizza.”
The frown on Patton’s face remained, whining a little, “Why do we have to get up to get food?”
“You’ll see! C’mon Pattycake,” Janus held out a hand, smiling gently. A few seconds of hesitation passed, before Patton took the hand and let himself be helped out of the bed. No words were exchanged as Janus carefully led his older brother out of the bedroom and down the stairs.
All of the downstairs lights were off, with their puppy, Luna, napping on the couch. The two smiled at the sight, Janus gently leading Patton to the couch and sitting him down. It stayed comfortably quiet throughout the house as Janus sat beside them, bringing out her phone from her jacket pocket to order the pizza.
Eventually, Janus broke the silence, “sausage and mushroom, angel?”
“Please?” the voice that replied was quiet, gently stroking the sleeping Luna. The younger nodded, dialling their favourite pizza place and patiently waiting for the other line to pick up. Patton watched with a sad smile, not fully paying attention as Janus ordered, more focused on the puppy by their lap. It didn’t take long, Patton looking over when silence fell across the room once more. “All set?”
“Yep! Should take twenty minutes, giving us plenty of time to pick a movie and get comfortable.” The only reply Patton gave was a small nod, leaning his head on the taller’s shoulder.
Janus smiled sadly towards him, ever so gently playing with one of Patton’s blue curls. She used the other hand to slowly scroll through several streaming services, patiently waiting until he pointed out a certain movie or company - a small gasp came from the shorter boy after a few minutes of this.
“See something you like?” Janus cooed, shifting to confirm that Patton was in a comfortable position. The question elicited a string of nods from him.
“Yeah! Tangled,” he smiled bashfully, “if that’s good? Sorry if it’s too childish-”
“Hey, it’s not childish if it brings you comfort,” Janus smirked a little, switching on the movie, “promise. C’mon, want me to grab us some blankets and pillows from upstairs?”
Patton nodded, still cuddling Luna closely. The golden retriever was happy with all of the attention she was getting, now snuggled closely to his chest.
“Doubt the pizza will be that quick, but if they do come, my wallets in the kitchen,” Janus hummed as he stood, placing her phone in the spot she just was sitting in screen-up, “enjoy the start of the movie.”
“I will,” Patton smiled as he watched Janus power walk upstairs, sighing a little once she left his line of sight. He looked down solemnly to Luna, now awake but still just as relaxed, “thanks for the love, Lunie.”
The small puppy let out a soft bark, making a smile spread across Patton’s face again, “I hope you know how much I care ‘bout you, even if you’re just a little dog. I really hope Janus realises how much this means to me…”
Several seconds passed between the two, only being broken when a small chime came from the phone that sat next to him - the screen had lit up, showing a message from a group chat had been received. The group was named ‘the gayest trio’, and very appropriately had Janus, Remus and Logan in it.
From the contact name ‘rat boy’, assumed to be Remus, the message read, “Jan, u coming 2 the date?”
A dreadful feeling washed over Patton once he had fully processed the text. Janus was skipping a date to hang out with him, being so last minute that she hadn’t even told his boyfriends. They simply froze up at the realisation, only being broken from his self-deprecating thoughts when soft footsteps could be heard from the staircase. Violently pushing the thoughts from their mind, Patton looked up to watch Janus falter down the stairs with several pillows and blankets - seeing his sibling struggle only filled him with more guilt.
“Oh, Jan, you should've invited me to help-” Patton frowned a little, shifting a bit.
“I- I can handle it,” Janus chuckled softly, stumbling to the couch and placing down the bedding, “see? You don’t need to worry about me, angel.”
“Right,” Patton nodded, though her words didn’t clear all the worries - the text still circled his mind.
The familiar silence fell over the house again as Janus set up the pillows and blankets, humming softly as she worked. It only took them a few minutes or so, going to sit down afterwards.
“Oh! Don’t forget your phone, Jan,” Patton gave his sibling a regretful smile, gesturing towards the phone which blended into the dark blue couch. She simply nodded in reply, slipping the mobile into her pocket one more.
Remorse felt as if it was suffocating Patton, breathing in and out deeply, “Jan? I uh- didn’t mean to snoop, you just got a notif and… Rem texted you. Wondering where you are, ‘cause of your whole… date thing.”
She hummed in reply, once again getting the device from her pocket, “I’ll cancel and explain to them. You’re more important than this one date, Patt.”
“Are you… sure?” there was a clear anxiety in his voice, attempting to distract his hands by stroking one of Luna’s ears.
“Thousand percent,” Janus quickly sent a text in reply to Remus’ concern, “you’re much more important than this one date.”
Softly sighing, Patton let his head fall onto Janus’ shoulder once again, “thank you, so so much.”
“Of course,” she smiled, humming a little, “it’s okay if you’re still not okay, y’know? You can still be openly upset, even if you’re doing something you enjoy.” The only reply given was a slight nod, a genuine smile spreading across his face.
The two happily sat through the first twenty or so minutes of the movie. Though Patton never verbally replied to Janus’ light comments, such as ‘who names a horse Maximus?’ and ‘Rapunzel was the original girlboss’, they made him chuckle. As much as the latter would agree that these are dumb jokes, the fact they would make Patton feel better, even if it was only slightly better, was enough for her. Patton hardly spoke through movies anyway, though he happily sang the songs at the top of his voice, as if it was only him at that moment. He was filled with so much childlike joy and happiness, Janus never wanted him to stop.
Eventually, just a bit after Flynn discovered the tower, the doorbell rang - disturbing Luna and prompting the small pup to start barking. Patton jumped at both these noises, taking a second to collect himself before gently shushing the puppy. The taller of the siblings smiled softly at the two, stumbling to her feet, before quickly grabbing her wallet from the kitchen and going to collect and pay for the pizza. She opened the door, welcoming the pizza delivery guy with a small smile. They flashed a silent smile in return, exchanging the pizza for the money without a word.
“Thanks,” she double checked they got the right orde, humming softly as he did.
“‘Course. Enjoy your food,” they started to walk off.
“You too!” Fuck. Janus sighed a little to herself, but shut the door and walked back to Patton, “heya, angel. Luna okay?”
“She’s all good,” he smiled sleepily, stroking her soft ears gently.
“I’m glad,” Janus nodded, focusing on the little smile, which highlighted the scar across his lip. “I’m glad.”
Happy [late-] 10 months, @andromedaspace !! I love you to the moon and back, starlight!
Pairing: Moxiety
Warnings: food/eating, sickness, hurt/comfort, Virgil makes a ‘or ur homophobic’ joke but its all lighthearted
Characters: Patton, Virgil
Character notes: ADHD nonbinary Patton [they/fae], autistic genderqueer Virgil [xe/he]
Fic summary: Virgil’s sick and grumpy, but Patton makes xem feel okay.
Wordcount: 1042
Virgil sniffled slightly, feeling xyr bones ache as xe attempted to get out of bed. To his knowledge, xe was home alone, meaning xe had to care for himself without any sort of help. He blinked harshly at the outside light, limping over and shutting the curtains; it only slightly helped xyr pounding headache. He stretched a tiny bit, taking one of his blankets from his bed as well as the dog stuffed animal, Leo, Patton got xem. Xe hugged the stuffie close, sighing softly as xe tried to gather the strength to walk downstairs. A few minutes passed of xem just standing in the middle of his messy room, but he eventually was ready to start moving. Slowly, trying to make his body hurt as little as possible with xyr movements, xe left the room, keeping the stuffie close to xyr unbinded chest. Xe winced as he opened the bedroom door, the hallway lights seeming much brighter than they really were. A noise similar to an upset hiss left xyr mouth, looking down and stumbling towards the top of the stairs.
The hissing noises alerted Patton, making faer look up. They'd been quietly on their phone for the past few hours, cuddled up in blankets on the couch. Fae stood, walking slowly towards the movement, "Virge?"
Xe jumped a little, coughing slightly, "uh- yeah?"
"Are you alright?" Patton stood at the bottom of the stairs, looking up to their partner, "you look... pale."
He chuckled sadly, continuing to make his way down the stairs, "I'm always pale, sweetie."
"Paler than usual," they walked up a few steps, offering their arm for support, "what's wrong?"
"Don't feel to good, but I'm-" coughing cut him off, taking a shaky breathe after the small fit, "I'm fine."
Faers frown grew more, "you don't look fine, love." Patton led him to the couch, gently lying xem down. They kissed his head, walking away from xem.
Virgil whined loudly, "Pattyyy."
"I'll be 2 minutes, love!" Fae called, switching the living room lights off and heading to the kitchen. A small "hmph" was heard from the couch, Virgil cuddling close into Leo. Xe took some shaky breaths, trying not to cry purely from just feeling ill. He squeezed xyr eyes shut, sighing into the material of the stuffed dog. Only a few moments passed without Patton, but it truly did feel like an eternity. After no less than five minutes, his partner came back holding a bowl of tomato soup. Fae gently set it on the coffee table, kissing Virgil's head, "hey love."
The only reply heard was another whine, looking out from the blankets and stuffie. Xe relaxed slightly when he saw his partner's face, making upset grabby hands towards faer.
"I'm here, love," fae smiled, gently getting under the blanket with xem and wrapping an arm around xem, "I've gotcha."
He sniffled, nodding and leaning into faer, "thanks, Patt... I'm sorry."
"Hey, it's alright darling," they kissed his nose, reaching over for the soup, "I got your favourite honey."
Xyr eyes lit up, taking the bowl and holding it to his chest to warm him. He mumbled appreciation to Patton, sniffling again.
"I love you honey," fae smiled, wiping his nose with a tissue and hugging him closely.
"Love you," xe mumbled sleepily, his arms to achy to feed himself.
Patton chuckled softly, kissing xyr cheek as fae got rid of the tissue. They cleaned their hands with some hand sanitiser quickly, taking a spoonful of soup in faers hand. "You need some help?" Fae was slightly teasing him, but it was a genuine question.
"Please..?" his voice was more obviously weak now, holding Leo closely. The shorter smiled to their partner, humming as they fed xem - Virgil appreciated the hums filling the otherwise silent room. Xe ate happily, the warmth of the soup relaxing xem and making him feel slightly sleepy.
Patton let out a coo at xyr half-closed eyes, "is my love getting sleepy?"
Virgil tried to deny it, lazily shaking xyr head - the yawn xe let out revealed the lie. He pouted at his own body, continuing to just eat after the yawn.
"I think you are," they teased gently, kissing his nose, "and that's alright. You deserve a nice nap, Vee."
"Don't wanna moveeee," xe whined quietly, soup around the edges of xyr lips. He wouldn't usually mind sleeping on the couch, but he knew it would just make xyr achy joints much worse.
"Let me carry you," they cooed, putting the finished soup bowl to the side and kissing xyr hair. "If that's alright?"
Xyr face burned red, holding Leo closely, "I- uh- please?"
"Of course," they stood, taking Virgil in faers arms with the blanket still wrapped around them gently.
"What about the uh, the washing up?" xe asked weakly, nodding towards the soup covered bowl.
Fae smiled gently, starting to walk upstairs, "I'll wash it up later. Right now, you're my number one top priority!"
A smirk slipped on Virgil's face, looking away from xyr partner, "dork... I love you."
"I love you too, darling. Now!" Fae smiled, standing at the top of the stairs, "do you want to cuddle in my room or yours?"
Xe leaned into faers shoulder, relaxing in the older's arms, "your's? I like your lights..." Patton owned both fairy lights and LED lights.
"Of course," Patton entered their room happily, gently setting Virgil on the bed between their many stuffed animals. Xe wiggled out of his own blanket, getting comfy and nuzzling into the softness of all the materials.
"You're adorable," faers cooed, lying down next to their partner.
"Only because I'm ill," xe teased, smirking towards Pattona and holding xyr arms out to them. "Now, gimme cuddles or your homophobic."
They chuckled gently, wrapping their arms around xem, "of course, love. But you are always adorable, even when you're being all angsty."
Xe chuckled gently, cuddling into their chest, "heh, thanks angel."
"Of course stormcloud," they rubbed xyr back, "Nini."
"Night," xe mumbled, shutting xyr eyes.
Patton put their glasses to the side. They kissed xyr head, smiling, "Love you."
"Lovie..." xyr words were slurred and hardly audible.
Patton sighed happily, continuing to rub the back of their love. "Sleep well, darling."
Happy [late-] birthday @andromedaspace! I hope you’re having a good week!
Pairing: mutual pining Analogical, romantic Analogical at the end
Warnings: homophobia, hurt/comfort, quite a lot of cursing, kissing, so much awkward silence
Characters: Logan Sanders, Virgil Berry, Roman Smith
Character notes: autistic nonbinary Logan [they/them], autistic trans Virgil [xe/xem], genderqueer acearo Roman [he/prince]
Fic summary: Logan had known Virgil for a while now, but when they start getting gay thoughts, they consult Roman to help
2,921 words 16,543 characters
you can also read this over on AO3
It had been about three or so months since Logan had met Virgil. Since their original run in with each other, the two had been hanging out quite a bit, not restricting themselves to just the forest they first met each other in. Unfortunately for Logan, xe did not go to their highschool, but was rather homeschooled; this didn't stop Virgil in any way, however. After a week of knowing them, xe started to wait outside the school gates for Logan, making a habit of walking them home. This day was not any different, Logan making their way out of a particularly uninteresting English lesson - it did lift their mood knowing Virgil would be waiting. They were one of the last one's out, looking around for xem. Anxiousness started to consume them, unable to see xem outside - did xe just leave them?
They frowned slightly, taking their phone out of their pocket to see if they had any message. Logan jumped a little when everything went dark, panicking slightly, before realising somebody was just covering their eyes.
"Guess whoooo?" Logan relaxed at Virgil's voice, gently removing xyr hands with their own.
"Hey Vee," they smiled, turning around, "I thought you had left."
"Nope, just this guy was talking to me. Think he was British?"
Logan's eyes widened slightly in realisation, "Roman?"
"Yeah! Prin was asking me about you," Virgil took Logan's hand, as xe usually did when they walked home together, "he sorta... gave me a shovel talk? The whole 'hurt them and I'll hurt you' schtick."
A whine escaped Logan's mouth, "I told prin specifically to not bother you. I'm sorry, Virge"
"Hey, it's okay, it's cute how much your friends care about you," xe chuckled softly, checking both directions before leading the two across the road. Logan blushed a small bit at the comment, going to speak again. They were cut off by a yell from a passing car, making the pair turn their heads. The engine was so loud, Logan couldn't make out what whoever was in the car said exactly, but they could make out the last few words.
"What are you, gay!?"
It was said with so much bitterness, so much hatred. Several conflicting feelings started to consume Logan - anger, sadness, a small tang of guilt. They looked at Virgil with a hard to make out expression, their mouth unable to mutter anything, but their mind screaming. It told them to run in the opposite direction, to yell at their friend, to apologise, to kiss Virgil. Why did they want to kiss Virgil?
A few seconds passed, both of them clearly uneasy. Virgil shifted xyr hand slightly, making it obvious xe was considering letting go. Xe spoke after a few more seconds of silence, "I'm sorry, L."
"'s fine," Logan refused to look at Virgil, rather staring at the interlocked hand. As much as their brain begged and screamed for them to let go, they didn't. It was nice, they felt loved for once.
The older one nodded, swallowing dryly and starting to walk again, "right, right. Let's just get you home, hm?" No more words were able to escape Logan's mouth, just nodding and gingerly following xem. To their mutual dislike, the next ten or so minutes were spent in complete awkward silence. Both opened their mouths to speak at a few points, but not a word was said from either of them. Neither pointed this out, eventually reaching the door of Logan's block of apartments.
The building seemed to loom over the pair of friends now, making Logan feel as if they were shrinking into a miniscule room with just Virgil, forced to be close. It was an uncomfortably claustrophobic feeling.
"I'll uh, I'll get going," Virgil finally said, "see ya."
"Bye," Logan mumbled, quickly letting go of xyr hand and making their way upstairs without looking back at xem. On most occasions, Virgil would walk them to the front door, and xe would then call them on xyr way back to their own home. None of this happened though, sulking their way into the kitchen. Anxiously, Logan peered out the window to see where Virgil was - it did make them feel a bit creepy for doing so, but they were worried. Xe ended up making uncomfortable eye contact, the two immediately breaking it once they had noticed. As if their world was falling to pieces, which is what it felt like, Logan poured themselves a glass of cold water and hurriedly walked to their own room. It was quiet. Virgil wasn't being called, their parents weren't home, the AC was turned off. It was quiet.
Too quiet. Logan hated it, reaching their room and shutting the door with their foot. Everything in their brain yelled at them to just slump onto the floor with their back against the door, but they decided against it. They hung up their bag, walking to their bed and taking several long gulps of water. It was cold, numbing their teeth slightly. Iciness rushed to their brain, resulting in a groan and a small pampth where they fell onto their back and shifted so they laid on their pillow. Everything was fine until those kids. They harshly blinked a few times before staring at the green stars, planets and moon that were stuck above their bed, reaching out gently. Logan "grabbed" the moon next to the Earth with their hand, closing it into a fist as they were holding it. Nothing else changed, the room staying still. It couldn't have been more than a minute before their arm started to become tired, letting out a built up sigh and letting their arm flop next to them on the bed. The moon reminded them of Virgil. In an, only somewhat successful, attempt of getting their mind off their friend, they started to count the plastic stars.
Twenty six... twenty seven... twenty nine- wait, shit, they messed up. Logan groaned loudly, rolling onto their side. Nothing could make them stop thinking. With thoughts still buzzing, they wiggled out of the dark jacket they were wearing, taking their phone into their hand before throwing the clothing onto the floor. On most days, they'd be extremely strict with themself about keeping their room clean, but at this point, they had no energy to care. The phone was unlocked, showing the background - a selfie Virgil took of xem and Logan. It had a corny SnapChat filter on top of it, a black bar at the bottom with white text reading 'my nerd <4'. Great, now they were overthinking if there was any hidden context to that. Yet again, they sighed, opening their contacts and scrolling to the bottom. Logan's thumb hovered over the contact name 'Virge<3' for several seconds, before scrolling up an embarrassing amount from the V contact page to the R contact page. They hesitantly clicked on the contact name 'Ro 👑’, sitting up and leaning their back against their headboard.
Ring ring. "C'mon, Ro, pick up," Logan mumbled impatiently," ring ring, "c'mon, please..." ring ri-
"Yellow?" Roman's voice came from the other side, the soft sound of Mitski in the background.
"Roman, I think I've fucked up."
"You, fucking up?" Roman was heard sitting up, "that's a change. What happened?"
"Virge and I were walking from school and... and it was fine, until this group of kids sped past us in their shitty car. They said some shit and we ended up walking home in silence," they groaned loudly, "xe didn't even call me after xe left, just... walked away."
"What did they say, Lo?" The younger's voice was much softer now, the background music turned down so prin could listen better.
"We were holding hands and they-" Logan swallowed dryly, slipping down the headboard, "they yelled 'what are you, gay?'. I can't stop thinking about it."
"They just saw two masculine presenting people being close friends and jumped to conclusions. Plus, you two are gay, just not for eachother."
"I- I guess, but now I'm just confused," Logan laid back down onto their back, "my brain was yelling at me to do so many things at once. To run away, or yell at xem, or kiss xem, or say sorry-"
"To kiss xem?" Roman repeated, a chuckle at the bottom of his throat, "I think you may be slightly gay for xem."
Logan groaned, "I'm not." They looked away from the direction of the phone, despite the fact Roman could not see them. "At least, I don't think I am," they mumbled the last part quietly.
"Logan," prin was heard shuffling on his bed, sounding as though he sat up, "what made you concerned? What those assholes said, or the small chance you may be in love with Vee?"
They didn't reply for a few seconds, taking several deep breaths. Logan shifted uncomfortably, "I actually... think it's more of the second option. I... the other thoughts didn't even really bother me, because I know I wouldn't run from xem or yell at them. But I know I would happily apologise and-" they bit their lip, "and I would... happily... kiss xem..."
"I'm glad I gave xem the shovel talk now," Roman chuckled softly, "listen, do you want my shitty aro advice, or do you want to suffer with whatever your feelings are?"
Logan let out another mix of a sigh and a groan, "sure. Something is better than nothing."
"Tell xem - listen, before you go on a rant about how you can't," Logan shut their mouth which they did open in protest, "tell xem how you feel. This isn't the first time you've had these gay feelings for xem, is it? You like holding xyr hand, spending time with xem. Hell, you've called the time you spent in the forest with xem 'dates'! On multiple occasions. It's clear you like xem - it may not be romantic, but you like xem so fucking much. You were both outcasts, weren't you?"
Logan took a shaky breath, processing all the information they were just told. They blinked once or twice, "yeah, neither of us really had... many friends when we met. Virge was homeschooled and I only really knew you and Patt at this point."
"You have a genuine connection, everyone can tell that - even the fucks who taunted you. You love xem, and xe loves you. Your feelings are the reason you enjoy being physical, loving to just be in each other's company; why you had such a knee-jerk reaction to the thought of kissing xem. You probably had similar thoughts before, haven’t you?" Roman silently waited for them to reply.
Thinking back through the month's they had known xem, Logan realised the answer was yes. They mumbled the response quietly, and prin did hear it.
"But you're thinking so hard into this because for once, somebody else recognised this. Those kids... they mocked you for potentionally liking xem, they made you realise that you may actually be gay for xem. You've always seen xem as attractive, haven't you?"
Their world seemed as if it was shrinking in on themselves at the realisation, but was able to squeeze out a few more words, "yeah, since... since the moment we met. Even though xe was teasing me when I first saw xem, it... I appreciated how attractive they were. Fuck."
"You alright?" Roman's tone shifted - it was no longer their serious and lecture-esque voice, but soft. It sounded, as Logan liked to put it due to being an only child, like a protective brother's voice.
"I think so? Thank you, Ro, so much," Logan let out a small, happy noise, "I should text xem."
"Yeah," it was almost as if Roman's smile could be felt from the other side of the phone, "yeah, you should. Good luck, Lo-gay."
"I told you to stop calling me that," they ruffled their own hair, a habit they had picked up from both Virgil and Roman, "thank you, Ro, really. Bye, I love you."
"I love you toooo~” Roman sang the last word, "farewell!"
Once the call was over, the room went back into being too quiet, too cold. They lowered the phone from their ear, looking at the screen; underneath Roman's contact name was the call time - almost fifteen minutes. That conversation lasted for that long? Attempting to ignore everything else that was currently happening at the moment, pressing the back button and scrolling to Virgil's name in their contacts. At first, they were going to just call xem to ask, but opted to just texting. Logan bit their lip, anxiously writing out a message in an attempt to follow Roman's advice. Triple checking the message, though it felt as they read it back over a thousand times, they finally hit send on the message.
'Hey, Virge, I'm so incredibly sorry for the walk home today. I just froze up. Can we meet up at the place we first met to talk?'
They closed the texting window, looking back up to the ceiling stars. Nothing in them was really expecting Virgil to be that happy to talk to them again after what had happened, so you could imagine their shock when the phone almost immediately chimed. Logan pulled the phone to their face, clicking on the notification from Virgil, to their surprise.
'itz alr , l , promis . not mad ! u mean by the lake? cus if so , i ' ll see you ther in uhhh'
'10 minz?'
As usual, xyr typing ended up comforting Logan. They smiled sadly at the message, starting to sit up as they wrote a reply.
'Yeah, the lake! I’ll see you soon, Virge?'
‘ yea yea ‘
'<4'
For no particular reason, the difference of how Virgil typed emoticon hearts made Logan feel all bubbly inside. A green bag was slung over their shoulder - the bag which contained all their forest-exploring gear. Anxiety still consumed them for the most part, but knowledge that Virgil was safe and wasn't mad soothed them. Knowledge seemed to comfort them often, slipping on some black Doc Martens. The phone was gently placed into their pocket, leaning down and lacing the shoes up. They took a large, deep breath and left the apartment, humming to themselves to divert any nervous thoughts from their mind. Warmth covered their body almost as soon as they stepped outside their block of apartments, making their way towards the forest.
It didn't take long for them to reach the still lake, noticing Virgil sitting in the same place where they first met. Logan swallowed dryly, sitting opposite to them and leaning against their favourite moss-covered rock. They didn't want to have the first word.
"I'm sorry, L," Virgil repeated their same statement from a while earlier, "I should've broken the silence and said something more."
"It's okay, it wasn't either of our faults. I-" they refused to make eye contact, "I spoke to Roman about what happened."
"What did he say?" xe gently took one of their hands. Logan didn't reply, not holding Virgil's hand but not pulling away either. "L, what did he say?"
"He comforted me and made... made me think about shit."
"Think about what?" Virgil's voice was gentle, rubbing xyr thumb over Logan's hand gently.
"I wanted to kiss you."
"Oh."
"Sorry," it was the only thing they could think of. Truthfully they didn't know why they were apologising, or what exactly for. Virgil didn't visibly look uncomfortable. Were they apologising for having queer thoughts?
"Don't be," xe never stopped stroking their hand, looking down at it and processing what xe was just told.
"I still want to kiss you."
"Oh," Virgil repeated, but still didn't stop. Nothing Logan did could make xem stop attempting to calm them. "I, just- why?"
"Because you're... you. You're fun, and kind, and cheer me up," Logan's voice slowly grew more confident with each word, "you always make me smile and I enjoy the time we spend together. You're pretty, and a bit sarcastic, but still so loving and- and you're Virgil. I love you because you are Virgil."
Xe didn't reply for several seconds; Logan held their breath, going to apologise before getting cut off by xem.
"Kiss me, idiot."
Logan flushed slightly, the stars in their eyes. They gently leaned closer, softly kissing xem. It wasn't the best kiss in the world - neither of them having that much experience. Even so, it was tender and love-filled, Virgil pulling back after a few seconds. Xe breathed out deeply, chuckling when xe noticed how Logan now had slightly black stained lips.
"Shit, I-" xe smiled, "kissing before marriage?" Virgil gently smudged the transferred lipstick around their mouth with a thumb. "So..."
"I liked that," said Logan, leaning into xyr hand, "I like you."
"So much you want me as your boyfriend?" It was slightly jokingly, but truthfully it was the only thing xe wanted at that moment.
Logan paused, kissing xyr nose, "please?"
Virgil chuckled, peppering kisses on their face, "of course. I love you, nerd."
"I love you too."
Logan leaned their head on xyr shoulder, smiling widely. They'll be okay.
Happy 11 months, @andromedaspace ! I love you more than words can describe
Pairing: currently platonic Analogical, future romantic Analogical
Warnings: some cursing, cult joke, one line mentions bullying, “nerd” used affectionately, some of Vee’s teasing makes Logan upset but xe comforts them, brief blood mention, anxiety
Characters: Logan Sanders, Virgil Berry
Character notes: autistic nonbinary Logan [they/them], autistic trans Virgil [xe/xem]
Fic summary: As they usually do, Logan adventure’s into the forest. But when they explore somewhere they haven’t been before, they meet somebody new
1,795 words 10,235 characters
Logan, despite how well they behaved academically, was never one for following orders. Whether it was pirating a video game, or staying up until 2am on a school night, they didn't mind bending a few rules. More often than not, as well, they weren't caught. Their rule breaking wasn't confined to their own apartment either, occasionally exploring the forest by their highschool, staying out ten minutes to several hours too late. No matter what weather or time, they loved to walk through the trees that towered over their, now seemingly small, self. Nature was so fascinating to them. Books about plants and animals were scattered in their room, as well as writing in a journal about their favourite parts of the world.
They brought along the book on this particular day, tucked away safely in their messenger bag, along with pens, coloured pencils and other essentials. Wind barreled through the trees and their hair, making Logan subconsciously pull their hoodie closer to their skin. It was surprisingly cold for an average windy day, possibly too cold. Logan mentally pinned it down on being close to water, taking a seat next to a large, moss-covered rock. Whilst humming along to the sound of the birds, they started to remove their journal and stationary from their bag to comment on the plants around them. They opened the book to about three-quarters through, jotting the date down on a clean page. It was starting to become difficult to find new information, laying the book open on the dirt in front of them. A small, but happy, sigh escaped their mouth, turning to the rock behind them and starting to inspect the moss, their pen balanced in their mouth.
Hardly any sound surrounded them now, only quiet chirps and now softer wind being heard. Logan looked back behind them, where-
"Oh..?" Logan breathed, now slightly concerned at the lack of their book. It wasn't as if the wind blew it away, the pencils were much lighter than the journal, and yet they were in the exact same place. Attempting to not panic, they looked to the lake first, then to the tree's, before finally looking up.
"Looking for this?" Logan gasped shakily, finding their book in the hands of a stranger.
"Give- give it back!" It became embarrassingly obvious Logan had never been in a situation even slightly similar to this one.
The stranger, dressed in dark, just laughed softly, "what even is this-" they shut the book, the only thing on the cover being a name and a small yellow, white, purple and black flag, "Logan?"
"It's a journal, now give it back!" Despite their tone attempting to be intimidating, Logan still sat on their knees, seemingly shaking. "Who... who even are you!?"
"Well, I know your name, so it's only fair if you know mine," they jumped down from where they perched on a tree branch, starting to walk over, "it's Virgil. Don't laugh."
"Why would I... I laugh?" Logan's voice was now unmasking their anxiety, watching as Virgil moved closer. Along with their dark black clothes, the way they walked only made them look more bat-like.
Virgil shrugged, crouching in front of them, "people can be rude. You're alone in a forest, you probably know that well enough." They squinted their eyes slightly at the anxious person, "but you don't look like an outcast."
"Look closer at the cover," they mumbled, biting their lip slightly. Logan turned their head away, but kept their eyes focussed on the odd stranger. Virgil did as prompted.
"It just says Logan Sanders? That isn't a weird name," it slightly surprised Logan that a nice comment escaped their lips.
They took the journal from Virgil, poking at the flag, "Nonbinary."
"Ah."
"Yeah," they started to pack away their stuff, "just call me a name. I'm leaving. This is obviously your turf."
Virgil gently grabbed their wrist, "no. I didn't mean it like that, I'm just dumb and-" they sighed, unzipping the black and purple patched hoodie with their free hand and pulling one side back to reveal a trans patch on their chest. "Xe/xem. My dumbass just didn't process the flag."
What felt like a boulder of anxiousness was lifted off their chest - this was somebody in their community. Of course, that doesn't make xem an inherently good person, but it helped Logan feel safer.
"That's valid. They/them," Logan anxiously held out their hand. Is this how people introduce each other?
Xe looked at the awkward hand, "are you sure you're not a part of a forest cult and this is a blood pact?"
As if Logan was literally invited to said imagery cult, they let out an almost anxious gasp. Virgil's teasing smirk started to fade, "I'm kidding, L. You just don't know how to socialise." Xe gently shook their hand.
"That's- well-" Logan tried to gather words to defend themselves before just sighing, "yeah, you're correct. I don't."
Yet again, the forest fell silent, bar the sound of the wind. By this point, Virgil let go of their arm and hand, moving back by a foot or two. Logan took this as a sign to silently unpack their bag yet again, gently laying their beloved possessions back onto the dirt. Xe glanced at the bag. "Got anything else in there?"
Logan couldn't help but interpret this as a taunt, lowering their head to focus on finding today's page in their journal, "just general stuff." They didn't look back up, still sorting through the papers, until they felt a gentle hand on their shoulder. Even a gesture as simple as that made their soul melt in the best way possible, making them crack the first smile Virgil saw of them.
"Hey, L, I was being genuine. What do you have in there?" Xe smiled back, showing sharp teeth.
Trying to not focus on how attractive that was, they nodded and pulled the bag between the two of them. Virgil let go of them, sitting opposite Logan.
"You probably now think whatever's in here would be amazing, but it's really not," Logan frowned a little at the thought of letting their new possible friend down, opening the bag wider so they could both gaze in. "It's really just essentials other than what's already out - food, water, cellphone, nature books. There's some small scissors in one of the closed pockets in case I need a sample for something. I rarely test on plants, and never on animals, but sometimes it can be pleasant to just own a part of nature." They froze up slightly once the ramble escaped their mouth, "Oh- I'm sorry for speaking so much, Virgil."
The taller one just smiled, "no, no, don't apologise. I like hearing about all your nerd ramblings, it's sorta... sweet, how much you care."
They nodded, a small smile cracking onto their face again. "Thank you. Do you uh- do you have anything in your..."
"I don't have a bag, if that is what you're asking," xe chuckled a little, inspecting the book labeled 'Common Berries and Mushrooms', "most of my stuff is kept in the jacket. Same stuff as you, mostly. Just replace books with crystals and your journal with headphones."
Logan didn't know whether to question xem about the crystals or what kind of mystical jacket could contain all those things, resulting in them blurting out the gibberish of "how crystal fit."
Xe chuckled at them, "you're adorable, L. The jacket was modified to fit more shit, deeper pockets and that. And I work with crystals, if that's what you were trying to ask." They nodded in understanding, breathing out what sounded like 'fascinating'. "So, what brings you to the forest?"
Trying to gather themselves again, Logan cleared their throat and starting to flick through one of their several books, "I find nature amazing. How a single bug could run the entire forest... it truly is beautiful. I like coming down to the forest, usually after school or dinner, and just walk around, commenting on everything I see - new or known. I love learning. I hadn't been to this part of the forest before, I tend to turn right when entering, but this time I chose the left path."
Nodding along, Virgil listened intently to another one of their infodumps, which ended in xem learning new information about the forest as well. Xe couldn't even blame Logan for finding the forest interesting once xe heard it from their perspective. In all honesty, it made xem want to learn more so they can have genuine conversations about it, as right now it was similar to Logan literally talking to a plant. The ramble continued for almost twenty more minutes, Virgil warming up to asking questions and even making a few notes in xyr phone about this all. It slowly started to form into a proper conversation, eventually leading Logan to politely question the crystals xe carried, which in turn led them to dedicating an entire page to the rocks.
By the time both had worn themselves out with talking, Virgil smiled at the orange and purple sky, "I think it's getting quite late... do you need help packing your things up?" In the time they were infodumping, they also shared a picnic of sorts, leaving a lot more mess than Logan usually had at the end of their forest sessions.
"No, I'm alright..." They smiled, starting to gently stack the large informative books at the bottom of the bag, so they would not crush anything else. "Thank you for this, Virgil, it was nice to talk to somebody."
"Virge."
"Mh?" Logan looked up, Virgil appearing half-blurred as their glasses had slightly fallen down.
Xe chuckled, pushing the glasses up for them with what seemed like a fountain pen, "call me Virge, it's what my friends call me."
Blushing at the gesture, Logan went back to packing their bag, "we're friends?"
"Of course, I don't sit in the forest for hours with strangers," Virgil smiled warmly, the sound of pen scratching being heard as the rest of the forest seemingly fell into quiet. The sound stopped, "well, I better get going back to my dads. I'll see you around, nerd."
As Logan looked back up, xe was already in the tree's. They chuckled softly, "bye Virgil- Virge." After a few more minutes of rearranging their items, the bag was now almost fully packed. Logan took their journal from the ground, about to close it but noticing some new writing. It was in bright purple pen and scruffy handwriting, standing out amongst the neat, black text on the rest of the page.
"Call me - +1-541-555-0130"
They smiled gently, shutting the book and placing it at the top of their bag. Maybe they should.
