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AN UNWELCOME SURPRISE...
While leaving WayneTech after another heavy business day, Bruce Wayne and his bodyguard, Sasha Bordeuax, happen to run into Prof. Edward Nigel Manchester, a.k.a. The Riddler, who was apparently taking his "Evening Stroll".
Bad Fanfic idea
Someone who just moved to Gotham, and has somehow avoided most media or news about it, including all the crazy’s in costumes. Their co worker takes pity on them and gives them the written ‘unwritten’ rules of the city. They make their way through the hours of video essays, which for some reason were given to them on a collection of labeled disks (in the modern era of Wayne Tech who uses DVDs anymore?)
It took them a while to get something to play them on, so they read through some of the weird titles before they can get a disk player or TV
-Villains you could fist fight
-Villains you should not fist fight
-Costume clown or psychopath? How to tell the difference
-Run down of supervillains pt 1-13 (color coordinated)
-Getting mugged, and how to place fake valuables
-Holiday preparations
-Halloween (shouldn’t that be with holidays, why does it get its own video?)
-Bats
-Best food places and why they’re always fronts
Anyway, they somehow think that Bat-mite is the official Gotham hero, any villain can be fist fought, and to automatically assume any clown is a serial killer. They haven’t even watched the videos yet. Turns out that the reason they’re on DVD is because the villains can get touchy if they find them, so copy’s just get passed around so no one can hack someone’s computer and find the videos. Turns out their part time job was working for the Penguin after a ‘Batman’ crash’s into the club they work at. Oh well, they heard Arkham was hiring, that didn’t sound so bad!
@thebestwayne
Texts From Superheroes
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Imagine a world where Bruce Wayne of Wayne Enterprises has to publicly serve Batman with a Cease and Desist Agreement to discourage Rogues from kidnapping him as a threat.
This perfectly explains why kidnapping Mr. Wayne never results in a Batman siting. Why does he never thank Batman for saving him? He shouldn’t be saving him. It’s a contract breach.
“The goal is to discourage Rogues, like The Joker and The Riddler, who are obsessive and desire the Bat’s attention. Bruce Wayne shouldn’t have to put his life on the line just by existing.” Says Lucious Fox in a press meeting.
Headlines Read: Bruce Wayne Left For Dead at Hands of The Penguin, Batman’s Response
What did Batman have to say?
“The heads over at Mr. Wayne’s company have handed me documents stating I am not to save this man under any conditions. While I care for his life, especially as an important figure in our city, I cannot in good faith pursue a rescue without risking legal action taken against me. I am in no way intending to cause anyone to turn anger towards Wayne or his legal counsel, but I cannot be held at fault for the legal moves he has made.”
If I see someone misenterpret Batman being a billionaire that punches the mentally ill and poor one more time, I'm going to lose it.
Batman is above all else empathetic, even towards his enemies. He throws his money around like its nothing, and when it is used for something, he uses it to fund charities or useful for the public. He's as if a leftist were a billionaire. He's actually helping people as Bruce Wayne and Batman.
The mentally ill and poor people he does have to punch in the face are usually being forced to work for villains who are forcing those people to work for them. Those people are then equipped with weapons and are given orders to attack anyone who tries to harm them. They're being exploited out if their own weaknesses and desperation.
Not to mention Batman hires those people to get them out of the situation they're in. He doesn't want to keep seeing them end up working for people like Two-Face, Black Mask, or god forbid the Joker. And Wayne Industries has lots of jobs ready for anyone.
The richest person in DC Comics who people should really be crapping on is the one who hates aliens, claims to do things for the better of humanity when he isn't, and makes things worse for everyone else like destroying the cure for cancer HE MADE. That person is of course: Lex Luthor.
