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HARK, 'TIS ME DRUNK AGAIN cuz it's the holidays and we got cptsd and adhd and a fucked up family tree WITH BUCKTOMMY BRAIN ROT because what is life without some crispy disassociation hyperfixation fodder
anyway so I hate the fact that Buck as a 100% neurodivergent person is especially susceptible to internalizing outside perceptions of his experiences and behavior because we ND folks usually grow up being told we aren't actually [blank], or it isn't actually hard to [blank] you just aren't trying or aren't doing xyz, or that we shouldn't feel so strongly [blank] because it wasn't a big deal (and Buck had esp icky parental parenting, too), so you get used to accepting what you're told about your own fucking emotions and experiences (and I love Josh so this isn't on him, it's on the writers), so when Buck hears this speech about what he was supposed to think re: Tommy being a "pre-Glee" queer (and stfu because boiling everything fought for and gained and lost 1990-2020 down into pre/post a TV teen drama musical that had literally any lgbtqia+ inclusion *but happened to be popular* is so barf) HE PARROTS IT because he's USED TO THAT being what people want to hear and what the *"correct answer"* to the Adult Human Conversations and Relationships Code quiz is. BUT THEN he follow it with some of his true colors and thoughts and feelings, but the preamble has changed Tommy's perception of the rest of it and triggers all his own shit that makes Buck's apparent idolization scary AND MISCONSTRUES BUCK'S WHOLE INTENT so Buck is genuinely blindsided by Tommy's reaction and confused about what he did wrong (because God knows ND folks are constantly wondering exactly what we did wrong, especially when it results in being left after talking about our feelings).
and tbh the part I'm most mad about is that I'm so sure that you couldn't purposefully write writing this horribly trite and trash about bi or late-discovery-queer people OR neurodivergent people so directly; you have to be oversimplifying Buck in his established traits and applying prejudices so that even subconsciously this is what you come up with, OR PURPOSEFULLY creating this situation to make sure to establish a narrative about bi men/people or queerness and break these two compatible, peaceful beans up for the drama llama.
THEY BOTH DESERVED BETTER AND ND AND/OR QUEER FOLKS DESERVE BETTER REP TOO GOODNIGHT
*takes bedtime shot in gay adhd*
On the topic of Regulus' patronus, since I won't let this die until I see it in a fic even if I have to write it myself.
Regulus: Why can't I get this bloody charm to work
Remus: Happy thoughts, Reg. Happy thoughts.
Regulus: What part of my upbringing gave you the illusion I have those?
Remus: Happy. Thoughts
Peter: Think like that fairy! Tonker Bells!
Remus: Tinker Bell. Purebloods.
Regulus: Could you two stop arguing over muggle cartoons so I can focus!
Regulus: Expecto Patronum!
Sirius: Bloody hell Reggie, is that a lion?
Regulus: Oh.
James: Oh.
Remus: He's beautiful Reg, what are you going to name him?
Regulus: Helios
Sirius: You're going to name your patronus after the sun?
Regulus: It keeps to the family theme doesn't it?
Sirius: Mother would have a fit. Looks like both her sons are more Gryffindor than Black. This is bloody brilliant! Told you Reggie, you should've been sorted into Gryffindor!
James: I think his patronus is perfect for him.
Regulus: I think so too.
okay but like. the bachelor party. Buck and Eddie drunk and laughing and dancing and getting closer and closer until Buck can feel Eddie’s breath on his skin when he laughs. and suddenly they stop laughing. inches apart. hearts pounding. for a split second. until they’re interrupted by Chim or something and the moment breaks.
Okay so i like delete d it but Kimchay are literal perfection. Kim deserves to het railed so hard and Chay deserves to rail him like they’re literally perfect I love them ao fucking much yk I adore them Kim should get railed
Tremendous news everyone, not only did I make it past the heel turn, I also made it past the decreases, so it's just straight stockinette to my pinky toe baby (and then I guess technically more decreases, but I'll be sober by then).
what do you think is the appropriate course of action when a man has really pretty hands
(ok. ok. this is actually. really freaking hard to write. like i think we pushed him far enough to justify him snapping if only for a moment, but boy. BOY is that moment hard to write)