To be on this list, a song must've hit #1 during 2024 or placed on the 2024 Billboard Year End and if it made another year's list, it must've placed higher on this one unless I state otherwise.
Yesterday someone challenged me to list the best and worst vampire movies. There are a lot of vampire films… many cheaply made. I’ve limited this list of the Worst Vampire movies to productions with bigger budgets and writers and directors who should have known better.
WORST OF THE WORST
Dark Shadows 2012 (Depp/Burton)
BBC’s Dracula 2006 (Marc Warren)
BBC’s Dracula 2029 (Claes Bang)
Old Dracula 1974 (David Niven)
Van Helsing 2014 (Richard Roxburgh)
Count Yorga 1970 (Robert Quarry)
Dracula: Dead and Loving It 1995 (Mel Brooks)
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012)
Vampire in Brooklyn 1995 (Eddie Murphy)
Dracula Untold 2014 (Luke Evans)
If you’re interested, here a link to the list of my favorite vampire movies.
A couple words about this list. I’m making this for fun. If a drama you love ended up on this list, it doesn’t mean that I hate you or I think you’re stupid or have terrible taste. But these are dramas that inspired strong negative reactions in me for one reason or another, whether that be disappointment, rage or disgust.
I’ve only included dramas that finished airing in 2019 in my selection process. If you have some dramas that hated, feel free to share them in the replies or send me an ask. It’s fun to complain about things for some reason.
Also, I have included major SPOILERS in a couple of these. So read at your own peril.
Dishonorable Mention: Melting Me Softly
I sincerely tried to limit myself to only dramas that I--for whatever misguided reasons--finished in their entirety for this list. Mainly because I don’t think it’s fair to brand something as the “worst” of anything without actually giving the thing a fair shake. That’s the only reason Melting Me Softly isn’t higher on this list. But I felt that it wasn’t right to leave it off entirely, if for no other reason then out of respect for the fallen Ji Chang Wook stans out there who lost their lives trying to make it through this trash fire. Somebody needs to stand up for those brave soldiers, out their gifing trash dramas while people like me are safe and sound on our couches, watching the tag like it’s a train wreck.
I made it through only two episodes of this drama, and despite my goodwill toward the majority of the cast, they were two of the most bafflingly bad hours of television that I forced myself to sit through this year. From what I could tell while side-eyeing the drama on tumblr and twitter it didn’t improve much over the course of the run. There were a couple steamy kisses that I enjoyed in clip form, but I don’t think it would have been worth the brain cells lost to sit through any more than that.
Bottom Line: Painfully unfunny, overwhelmingly expositional with no character development, confusing pacing and sloppy editing. Two episodes was two too many.
5. When the Devil Calls Your Name
It pains me to put this on the list because it was just last year that a Jung Kyung Ho, Park Sung Woong collaboration (Life on Mars) ended up in my top 5. And giving credit where it’s due, the two male leads seem to have a great deal of fun working together and I believe that all the actors gave this drama everything they could and sincerely tried to make it work. That’s one of the things I like about Jung Kyung Ho, he picks unique, risky projects that either pay off in a big way or fall flat on their faces (like the amateurishly written and edited Missing 9) Unfortunately, this script just too messy and too bizarre to work. Ha Rip as has a deeply frustrating character arc. He’s such a self-centered jerk for the vast majority of the drama, which is fine for a Faust type story if it’s written with conviction, but every time you think he’s started to turn a corner or grown as a person he reverts back to his old ways. The writing and tone are whiplash inducing. Plus the vague “soul mates” relationship between Ha Rip and Kim Yi Kyung seemed to want to have it both ways, flipping between implied romantic potential and a father/daughter dynamic, which made me quite uncomfortable.
Bottom Line: This drama’s bizarre mythology and world building barely makes any sense at all, but at least they’re easier to follow than the character development. Attempted something unique, but couldn’t pull it off. The OST is super dope though.
4. Love in Sadness
When I watched the first teasers I got the distinct impression that this wasn’t going to be a good drama, or at best it was going to be a guilty pleasure, but at the time when I started it I was hungry for a melo and there wasn’t much airing to hold my attention so I started it on impulse. I think in this case I got what I deserved for continuing to watch something I didn’t think was very good.
The first few episodes were actually pretty gripping and intriguingly dark, but that petered of quickly and the drama became and infuriating wheel spinning exercise with barely any perceptible plot development from episode to episode. The protagonists in this are all so stupid that in the final few episodes the female lead gets kidnapped not once, but multiple times because she keeps meeting her unstable husband alone. Plus nobody in this drama seems to know how to call the police when a madman is waving around a gun. It probably wouldn’t have made me so very mad except that in the last few episodes the writer became unaccountably preoccupied with how sad the psychotic, wife-beating husband’s family life was and how lonely and pathetic his life was when he wasn’t allowed to stalk, assault, and psychologically terrorize his wife. Seriously, in the last leg of the drama the villain is the only character who gets any character development at all. The drama pulls out all the stops to try to make use feel sorry for him. It’s disgusting.
Bottom Line: When a drama about a woman trying to escape domestic violence becomes completely preoccupied with painting the abuser as tragically misunderstood, you’ve got some serious problems.
3. The Lies Within
If it wasn't for the last two episodes this drama would not be on this list, but that isn't because it was in any way an exceptional drama, or that it otherwise would have ended up on my best list. Without the last two episodes The Lies Within is a merely adequate thriller, somewhat heightened by the brutal nature of the premise. I picked this show up largely to fill the void that was left by WATCHER and it was more or less successful, plus it helped that I liked the cast. However even at the beginning this drama I felt like it had some pretty glaring tone problems. There were parts of the drama that were standard OCN dark and gritty thriller, and there were other parts that felt like a campy police sitcom. The humor, when it does crop up in this drama always feels super out of place. But then that last big twist happened and man...I can't remember the last time a drama made me that angry or cratered quite so hard with a twist.
[And this is where I spoil the HELL out of this drama...]
Before this drama decided to go all M. Night Shyamalan in it’s last two episodes, there seemed to be at least one, if not two really reasonable candidates for the kidnapper. Actually all the ground work they’d done up to that point would seem to have pointed to Young Min and if he had turned out to be the perpetrator, I would have completely bought it. Instead they decided to blow everyone’s mind by making the kidnapped husband complicit in his own kidnapping and dismemberment. Which might seem like a shocking twist until you think about it for even half a second.
What it winds up doing on a narrative level it makes everything the characters have done to investigate this series of crimes up to this point feel pointless, resulting in a huge anticlimax. It makes the ambiguous figure of Seo Hui’s husband not only hopelessly stupid, but also cruel and unsympathetic. Because he thought somehow simply sharing the information with her would put her in more danger than threatening and psychologically terrorizing her into investigating the very people he was theoretically trying to protect her from. The explanation that he was already terminally ill doesn’t to anything to mitigate the stupidity of his plan for me. Seriously, you couldn’t think of any solution aside from cutting bits off yourself and sending them to your wife in the mail? I could rant about this ending at length, but I’m going to try to stop here.
Bottom Line: As far as I’m concerned, if you choose to sacrifice the emotional and narrative coherence of your story for a cheap and dirty twist to surprise the audience, you deserve every ranty review you get.
2. Love Affairs in the Afternoon
I’m really not sure what possessed me to watch this drama to begin with. That I continued to watch it is on me. The fact that I watched it despite hating the shallow characters, the thin story and the abortive message at the core of the drama is simply a lapse of judgement for which I shouldn’t be forgiven. Why did I do it despite not having a single nice thing to say about this show? Well, there are two reasons. I was curious to see if they would do anything compelling with one or two of the characters, (specifically the serial adulteress housewife an the broody artist) and I was surreptitiously watching this drama at work and it was really easy to follow the plot while only actually keeping my eyes on the screen about half the time. I watched the last episode before the subs were available and had no trouble understanding what was going. Which could be a sign that my Korean is improving, but is more likely a sign that the writing was so predictable and simplistic that you could follow it if you didn’t speak the language at all.
[Spoilers beyond this point.]
It’s my understanding that in the Jdrama that this is based on all of the characters basically wreck their lives and end up miserable, pointing toward the emptiness of the lives of these people who try to find fulfillment through extra-marital affairs. If that’s how this drama had ended, I still wouldn’t have enjoyed the execution but I could have respected the intent. But in this watered down Kdrama-fied version all the couples’ issues are resolved in the whitewash of a last episode time skip that makes the suffering and bullshit that led up to it feel completely pointless.
Bottom Line: Maybe this level of trashy, uninspired tripe would be somewhat justified if the chemistry between the leads had been better, but somehow they even managed to screw that up. The leads are just bad, vacuous people, a fact which is rendered all the more unforgivable by them being utterly bland. Everybody needed to divorce, nobody deserved to end up happy. Please be wiser than me and avoid this one.
1. Memories of the Alhambra
Initially, I was on the fence about even producing a “Worst List” this year, because in the past few years I’ve tried to be better about dropping dramas the moment they start to disappoint me, rather than hanging on to them and winding up burning myself out. I wasn’t sure if I’d have enough material to write this list, or at least not enough material to make it worth reading. Then I remembered that Memories of the Alhambra finished airing in January of this year (2019 was impossibly long, wasn’t it?) and I thought, “Aha, I can make this work.” I knew at once this drama was going to be the shitty tinfoil star atop my Christmas tree of suck.
I’ve already written a full review of this drama, where I got about as mean as I felt I could reasonably be. You can go read that if you like, I’m not going to retread all my many complaints here. What I will say is that Memories of the Alhambra took my mixed-to-favorable opinion of the writer, Song Jae Jung, and turned it to a negative one. She’s someone who clearly has a lot of interesting high concept ideas, but the execution is just not there. You can hook an audience with a concept, but you have to keep them with craft and structure.
Maybe the industry can be blamed for that. Maybe she just has a hard time ending her stories, or maybe writing on a deadline doesn’t agree with her. Whatever the reason, I can no longer trust her to deliver a satisfying story. And that’s deeply saddening to me, because Queen In Hyun’s Man is in my top 10 favorite dramas.
To be front-to-back terrible is one thing. The joke’s at least half on me for bothering. But to have potential, to have an interesting hook, a budget, a cast, but then to be either unwilling or unable to live up to that potential feels like a con. That’s how I felt about his drama, like I had been willfully deceived by special effects and flashy editing, all orchestrated to disguise a narratively bankrupt, unsatisfying drama.
Bottom Line: Is Memories of the Alhambra objectively the worst drama on this list? No, it’s not. Is it the most disappointing? Absolutely, it is. And that’s the more heinous crime, in my opinion. And that’s why it’s my worst drama of 2019.
There are so many superhero movies that have been made in the last thirty, forty, years that there are bound to be as many dislikes as there are likes, and here are a few. Some of these will be no surprise to some of you because it really seemed like the creators weren’t even trying to make a good movie, but I did have criteria. To make this list, they had to be movies I actually wasted time…
In keeping with tradition, here’s my top ten list of the best events of 2021 and the worst events of 2021, vaguely ranked in the order that they most impacted my life.
Best
Magnus was born. (June 8)
Gus started Pre-K, which was the good kind of scary – he’s growing up (and it saves us a ton of money in daycare costs). (August 16)
It was a good year at work.
I beat the system and got vaccinated before I was eligible without taking a vaccine from anyone else. (February 16)
Somehow, against all odds, it was a good year for writing. The Arkansas Times published my top 10 meals article and Mud Season Review nominated one of my essays for a Pushcart Prize on the same day (December 27). I also published an essay in Collateral Journal (May 16). And a book that I ghostwrote came out in September.
We got in a couple of good family trips this year – to Disney World (March 20-27) and to Arizona/Las Vegas (November 16-25).
I moved out of my warehouse office and into an office downtown. (September)
Liz and I spent a weekend in Memphis with no children. (February 6-7)
It was fun to see Gus enjoy the first real snow of his life. (February 14-18)
I stuffed discarded trash back into the car from whence it intentionally came. (January 21)
Worst
Children under the age of five – both of mine – are still unable to get vaccinated against the world’s most prolific virus.
I haven’t been able to prioritize writing new things, which means I haven’t been able to process my thoughts, feelings, and emotions well.
Magnus didn’t sleep for long periods of time without being held, which means Liz and I didn’t get much uninterrupted sleep. (June-December)
Gus fell up against an elevated fire pit and got second-degree burns on his arm. (November 24)
In a year in which I planned to lose weight, I gained 8ish pounds.
My biggest work event of the year didn’t turn out like I’d hoped. (October 7)
It was tough to say goodbye to Gus’s daycare so that he could go to pre-K. (August 13)
The frustration associated with trying to convince Gus to not wet the bed.
The fly-home day from Arizona – Thanksgiving – was hell. (November 25)
Somebody in Florida hacked my Bite Squad account and ordered food for themselves and I caught it in time and answered the phone when the driver called me, but the driver gave the hacker the food anyway, despite having me in his ear saying "DON'T DO IT, MOHAMMAD!" This is the kind of injustice that’s hard for me to let go of/recover from. (March 30)
In keeping with tradition, here’s my top ten list of the best events of 2020 and the worst events of 2020, vaguely ranked in the order that they most impacted my life.
Best
We think Gus outgrew his dairy and nut allergies -- knock on wood. (Fall-ish)
We moved to a house, street, and neighborhood we love. (Late August)
Liz graduated from nursing school and got a job as a psychiatric nurse. (May)
Quarantining with my family allowed us to spend some quality time together and make some wonderful, unique memories. We discovered the garage and grilling and the balcony. (March 13-June 30ish)
My role at work evolved in a direction I’m extremely happy with—I started a podcast, a daily announcement series, and played a more prominent on-camera role at Summit. (Ongoing)
After nearly two years, I finished a ghostwriting project I’ve needed to get off my plate. (November)
I’m still fertile. (September)
Evan Hallmark illustrated an essay I wrote and we published it in a book that people can buy. (March 13)
Despite the pandemic, I participated in some solid literary events – Argenta Reading Series in January and February, After Hours Book Club with the Bookstore at Library Square, a six-week Enneagram book study on Suzanne Stabile’s The Path Between Us, a panel discussion on Tim O’Brien and a talk with Libby Copeland for the Central Arkansas Library System, and a talk with Jeffrey Condran & Jen Fawkes for the Arkansas Literary Festival. Also, the Arkansas Times published a top 10 list from my food Tumblr!
I graduated from Leadership Greater Little Rock. (October 9)
Worst
The pandemic ruined a lot of things and brought out the worst in a lot of people. I feel like we’ve all been cheated out of a year’s worth of events – concerts, weddings, funerals, vacations, art walks, dinners, readings…all of it. (March-Ongoing)
My mother is still suffering the effects of a mysterious illness she contracted in January. (January-Ongoing)
Gus hit his head and went to the emergency room. (November 17)
Deaths. My great-grandmother, my friend Micky Stuart, my acquaintance Whitman Bransford. Things could have been much worse in the death category, but it still hurts to lose these folks. My great-grandmother’s quality of life had deteriorated and so in a way, losing her was a relief, but that doesn’t mean I won’t feel her absence. And while I only saw my friend Micky a couple of times a year, I’ll miss those times. And Whitman and I didn’t know each other well, but I enjoyed every interaction and I mourn his loss for his family and friends.
My book launch was cancelled. (March)
I was forced to cancel Argenta Reading Series’s AWP Off-Site Event – the first event we’ve ever planned outside of Central Arkansas. It was going to be awesome. (March)
I was forced to cancel most of the year’s Argenta Reading Series events. (March-December)
My final Leadership Greater Little Rock sessions were cancelled. (March-June)
It was another year of not getting in shape, despite some eleventh-hour attempts. (Ongoing)
I lost my wallet for a week and drove myself bonkers looking for it. (January)
In keeping with tradition, here’s my top ten list of the best events of 2019 and the worst events of 2019, vaguely ranked in the order that they most impacted my life.
Best
Gus transferred from his daycare that refused to accommodate his dietary restrictions to a Montessori school we love. (August 26)
We took some really good trips this year, including a visit to Grandpa & Tutu’s in Arizona (May 11-16), and we went to Panama City Beach for a summer vacation and took Nene with us (July 24-31). I have a hard time turning my work-brain off—I have to stay busy—but that trip actually made me forget about everything except relaxing with our little family.
Garver celebrated 100 years in business, which allowed me the chance to do a lot of cool things at work, including traveling to schools all over our footprint to document how students are using our STEM kit donations. (January-October)
We bought a couch we like, which forced us to move our primary living space from the den to the front room. It’s altered the entire vibe of our house and made us much more comfortable in our own home. (June)
I’m proud to have published some things I really like.
Gus got comfortable staying overnight with grandparents (or maybe we got comfortable with him doing so). (January-December)
I got accepted to Leadership Greater Little Rock, which has inspired me to be even more involved in making Central Arkansas great. (September 26)
Argenta Reading Series continued to grow into a thing I love. (January-December)
So much traveling this year meant I earned Platinum Elite status with Marriott. It’s weird how much I love loyalty reward programs. (August 24)
Derek and I moved from separate cubicles into a shared office, which allows us to keep each other hyped about the cool things we work on together. (November 7)
Worst
Gus’s health scare. He went from being in the 90th percentile in height/weight/head circumference to being in the 15th percentile in a short period of time, meaning that something caused him to stop growing. To get to the bottom of it, we did bloodwork that came back abnormal and loosely suggested he might have cancer. Liz and I never talked directly about cancer because neither of us wanted to acknowledge the possibility that our son might have to fight the thing that has killed so many people we love. (Cancer has been ruled out and his brain seems to be developing fine, and so we’re living our best life.)(August)
I accidentally deleted a year and a half’s worth of videos of Gus. (August 26)
I stopped going to the gym regularly and lost all progress I’d made over the previous year by gaining weight and losing strength. (September-December)
This year I decided to switch from using a health savings account to a flexible spending account, but trying to figure out how to take advantage of all the FSA perks has made me feel as ignorant as I can remember ever feeling. (Thank you to Deb Bridges for holding my hand through the process.) (January-December)
The firm where I work has more than doubled in size since I began working there six years ago and my team felt the growing pains this year as we continue to strive to produce the highest quality products at a much faster rate. (January-December)
The war against fleas and mosquitoes in our yard this year has been one for the ages. We launched attacks using a Seresto collar, Frontline Plus drops, natural/organic flea shampoos, non-organic synthetic-super-chemical shampoos, Spartan mosquito eradicators, and Matt Sexton even sprayed our yard with a batch of his patented blue drank. (Summer-Fall)
Liz and I finally upgraded from the iPhone 6S to the iPhone XS, and we each hate the new phone for separate reasons. Accepting that we have paid a considerable amount of money for something we hate is a hard pill to swallow. (December 11-Current)
We hydroplaned in traffic on the way home from Northwest Arkansas and spun around in traffic until we collided with a tow truck. It was scary and we totaled Liz’s car (but Gus slept in his carseat through the whole thing). (April 13)
All of my responsibilities forced me to downgrade my commitment level to my tennis team. (Summer-Ongoing)
For whatever absurd reason, I responded to a mobile ad and downloaded one of those brainless phone games to pass some time because I didn’t have my book with me. Now I’m addicted to something called “Bricks n Balls” and I’ve wasted way too much time on it. (June 26)
