I went to an AI writing generator because I was bored. I started it off with, “The fish ate the banana and smiled.” This is what the generator came up with (with a few edits of course to keep the story at least a little on track):
The fish ate the banana and smiled. "You seem to want to fight me, dwarf." smiled Gukko.
"I am trying to speak your language to ask for a battle, actually. Perhaps we can have a friendly battle? I am willing to be friends."
And the fish, it is Gukko, if you can believe it.
The president has fallen ill and I am to be the acting president until further notice.
The doctor can't say if he's going to recover from his illness, so until further notice, I am going to continue to do the job of president.
I don't want to sound pompous or anything, but I'll be the first to admit that I am qualified for the job.
I took the tests, passed them, and I have the best grades of any of the candidates. I was in the top three of those who got to the next level of testing and I had the best grades. I think my chances of succeeding are pretty good.
But I also can't let myself get too comfortable in this job.
I need to keep my eye on the prize. And that prize is my man back in America, trying to get the new wife he has back.
So, I'm out here, head down, watching the men, trying to sort them into the ones I'll need to start eliminating, and those I can start spending time with.
I'm not very good at it yet, I'll admit. I keep spending my time with the men who are looking at the other women and not at me. They think I'm oblivious to them, but they are simply that: men.
The truth is…I am gay. For the man I have back at home…and for Gukko, the fish. But I can’t tell him that. For he is my rival.
I need to keep my eye on the prize. The only way I'll get to that prize is if I do the best job I can at this job and then run for president in three years.
With the banana eaten, I rubbed my jaw with my paw. "That's how a dwarf and a fish got together. What the hell?"
I considered that I should go back and take another shot at killing the fish, but that would be admitting defeat. Gukko seemed to have it under control.
So I made a decision. I would test Gukko on his understanding of American politics, to see if he understood the crisis our country was in.
He nodded. "You're right. This is a very serious time for us."
"So we can be friends?"
"Yes, my friend. We can be friends."
I've been thinking about Gukko and his crocodile friend, Gukko and his bird friend, Gukko and his horse friend, Gukko and his monkey friend, Gukko and his rabbit friend, Gukko and his squirrel friend, Gukko and his deer friend, Steve and how they work together to take down the man they all love. I think they are an amazing bunch of friends. I'd like to think I'd like to be friends with them.
The problem is, with the bat droppings growing on me, I can't always tell them apart.
I'm pretty sure the lion would kill the crocodile in a heartbeat, and then the two of them would eat Steve's brains and become super-cannibals. I'm hoping the crocodile is smarter than the lion, but I know better.
The next time I find myself up to my neck in bat droppings, I hope I can see Gukko and his friends for the kind of friends they are. Maybe I can help them take out their leader and create a new order of men. And if I can help them take out their leader, I'll be able to get closer to my man back in the States.
It's a plan.
It's a good plan.
My teeth were gritted against the bat droppings that were filling my mouth. I could feel it starting to form a ring around my jaws.
It was hard to tell, but it seemed to be starting to turn into something solid.
I took a deep breath, intending to fight. To defend myself. Something grabbed my paw, and I realized it wasn't from the droppings.
"I have your friend," the voice said.
“Who…are you?” I asked.
I saw a black fin streak across the water. It disappeared in the darkness.
"Please," he said, his voice sounding pained. "There's been a misunderstanding. Please."
I opened my mouth to tell him I was not here to negotiate, but the bat droppings in my mouth got in the way. I had to take a break.
When I could speak again, I looked down at the bat droppings in my mouth. I pushed them away, wincing at the stiffness.
“I think you should let him go," I said. "He seems to have had enough of us.”
I was thinking of another question I wanted to ask, when I looked down. The man's face was completely gone.
"No!" I looked up to see Gukko. Gukko looked as shocked as I was.
"Where did it go?" I asked.
"Gork!" Gukko yelled. "My friend! I think you've met my friend, Gork!"
"Hey, buddy," Gork said.
"Gork!" Gukko yelled.
"Bwah!" Gork said.
"Gork!" Gukko yelled.
"Bwah!" Gork said.
Gukko pointed behind him. A huge shadow passed over us. It was so big I thought it must have been Gork.
It was larger than the clouds and filled with gaseous flames.
A dragon. And it was enormous.
Gork looked at me. He looked terrified. I stared back. And I turned. And I ran.
I turned and I ran toward the cave, and I ran and I ran, and finally I broke through the caves' entrance and ran into my cave, where I and all my other friends were.
It was dark, but there was enough light streaming in through the roof of the cave for us to see each other.
Gork and the other two men stood back in the shadows. I ran past them to where the others were gathered.
"Gark!" Milo said. "Why?!”
“Who the hell is Gark?” Gukko replied. “And who the hell are you?!” Gukko asked.
“Gork,” said someone. "Gork,” said someone else.
The three of them looked at me in shock. "Hey," I said. "I'm the guy who saved your arse, isn't that right?” I asked.
“We didn't call for help,” Gukko replied.
“We're, uh, let’s go back.” Gork said.
Gork, Milo, and Gukko got into the water, and they began swimming back toward the island.
“You’re… the guy, right?” Gork asked.
“Yeah,” I said. “The guy.”
When I reached my island, I finally stopped to think. “Gork,” I said.
“What?”
“You need to tell me more about this friend of yours.”
“It’s…” Gork said. “We met a long time ago. When we were young.”
“What, like when you were kids?”
“Yes,” Gork replied.
“That’s impossible.” I said.
“What?”
“He didn’t even have friends until after we were teenagers. I mean, that’s… even if he was going through a tough time, and so was I, if he had friends growing up, they would have taken up with someone else at some point.”
“I remember him being a kid,” Gork said. “He was always really… odd.”
“I thought he was different before, too,” Milo said.
“But it was a long time ago. He was different then,” I said.
“Then how did you meet?” Milo asked.
“I… we… met in a cave,” I said.
“Seriously…who the hell are you?” Gukko asked Milo. He has never seen him before in his life.
“I’m…” I said.
“Wait. He’s giving you his life story, and he hardly even knows you.” Gukko said.
“Yeah, he just told me he saved my ass, and that was it.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah,” I said.
I continued. “We were…” I said. “We were looking for… they were looking for, well, uh, we didn’t know what they were looking for. But…” My voice trailed off.
“They were looking for some kind of item. I don’t know what, but something we were told to find,” Gork said.
“Gork,” Milo said. “Tell him.”
“He said that we didn’t need the other guys. He was going back home, and he said that I should go with him. He said that they would help us find the clue.”
“You need help finding the thing?” I asked.
“Uh… yeah,” Gork said. “The other guys are going to look for the clue, but he said he could handle it.”
“I don’t… I don’t get it.” I said.
“We were swimming, and we were heading to a cave. We got really hungry, and we were looking for food,” Gork said.
“Gukko took a big bite of a piece of… seaweed, I think it was, and he suddenly… he said that he was going to throw up.”
“Gork…” I said. “Tell me…”
“I was thinking about my mom,” Gork said. “My mother died… before I was born.”
I felt the tears building in my eyes.
“I was pretty young when she died, but I remember her. And it makes me think of her when I think about Gukko. I haven’t ever seen anyone, alive, who looked like her. But her eyes… I remember her eyes. I remembered them.”
“I… I remember that too.” Milo said. Milo was a lot older than everyone here.
“And we have to do something,” I said.
“We have to find him. We have to find Gukko.” Gukko was right next to them. The fish felt ignored.
“He said he’d been alone for a really long time.” Gork said.
I started to feel a kinship. My mom died when I was young too. It had been years since she passed, but I still cried when I thought of her.
“What’s your mom’s name?” I asked.
“She was… she was… Kissa.” “Kissa…?”
“Did she have a sister?” I asked.
“Yes.” Gork said. “I think her name was Kaesie.”
“Kaesie…” I said. “You know my cousin. Her name was Kaesie too.”
“Quite a coincidence, huh.” Gork replied.
“She’s… she’s still alive.” I said.
“Hmm?” Milo said. “What’s that?”
“I just heard my cousin’s name…” I said.
“Kaesie…” Could it be…? Kissa was my aunt, making Gork…related to me.
Oh how the turned have tables.
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