I think now is the best time to sit down and take stock, because I have to thank those who follow me and have been patient and give announcements!! No tissues I promise little star :D
As my second extraction approaches, and almost my second to last—something I honestly can't even fathom—we can say this long war is finally coming to an end. Because after this one there's only one more. Just one. And then it will officially be: “Byebye assholes, I won't miss you at all.”
A year spent with these wisdom teeth that decided to grow like demonic entities sent to test my mental patience, my nervous system and my ability to survive by eating only from the one side of my mouth.
But now I see the end of the tunnel, I see freedom. I see myself chewing without feeling the need to pray to whatever deity is available.
The last remaining tooth looks at me from afar knowing that its time is coming. And I look at it like a final girl in a horror movie who finally found the flamethrower.
But… speaking of closures. Because apparently 2026 has decided that I have to deal with dental trauma, emotional endings, and characters with serious psychological issues all at the same time.
Leaving aside “Don’t Forget Me Tomorrow” AziraCrow, “Apocalypse” NieLan, “As Long As We Bloom Together” nielan with the built-in traumas and “When Fear Ends, Love Is Born” which has now become “how many emotionally compromised people can I put in the same work before I explode” Nielan + Mingxian + Xixian — and yes, the plot will change a lot, HAVE FAITH AND PATIENCE — there are also the real closures. The big ones.
Like “The Border Between Love and Hate” Mingxian, where I wrote much more than I thought. It was supposed to be something more contained and instead we're at chapter 32 because evidently I don't know how to have self-control when there are emotionally destroyed men who stare at each other badly.
And then “Thirty-three Red Petals on Snow” for @/sillygoofyqueer which yes, is coming to an end very soon. Like… VERY soon. On the other hand, we're taking it easier with Mingxian because I still have enough people to emotionally destroy there before the final peace.
But above all. Lan Qiren's analysis.
Guys, get your tissues ready. And your alcohol. Mostly alcohol.
There are about 14/20 chapters left depending on how fast I want to go post-extraction and how much my brain decides to make me suffer while I write. Because i went slow for a reason. I had to dismantle Lan Qiren piece by piece like a piece of Ikea furniture possessed by the devil.
But now the time has come to actually do it. Unfortunately.
Let's just say a small spoiler:
Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji will have their happy ending.
Wei Wuxian and Lan Qiren… well, too. In a very personal way. But with pain included.
Lan Qiren, on the other hand, will have his own personal “happy ending”. And the problem is that I DON'T WANT TO DO IT.
Because at a certain point, you get attached even to your old paper emotional junkies. And now I'm supposed to sit there and give Lan Qiren insight, personal growth, and maybe even spiritual peace when for months my only goal was to slap him with a chair.
Because yes, I REALLY liked the alternative I had for Lan Qiren's ending. It was simple. Clean. Manageable. Emotionally safe.
BUT OF COURSE my brain decided to step in like a drunk screenwriter and say “no one has EVER done this… you do it.”
And instead of acting like a sane person and IGNORING the thought, I did what I always do: I looked him in the eye like a creative possession and said, “Okay, but explain yourself better.”
Because evidently I'm not happy unless I complicate everything. I can't see a straight path without wanting to take the one filled with thorns, fire, and permanent damage.
So now here I am, writing an ending that will probably have me staring at the ceiling at 3:00 AM wondering why I couldn't be a normal person with quiet hobbies like gardening.
But NO. I have to take Lan Qiren, dismantle forty years of emotional repression, confront him with his failures, make him face the concepts of love, loss, control, and fear… and then give him an ending that will probably make me cry like an idiot as I write it.
All this because my brain saw the most narratively devastating option and said “yes, yes, that one. LET’S DO THAT.”
All this to say: I promised something. ONE THING. And I'll keep it. We're enjoying the cuteness between Lan Qiren and Wei Wuxian, and I've added, like, six bonuses to ask for forgiveness.
But I need time, because first I have to take Lan Qiren apart piece by piece and then look him in the eye to personally apologize for what I'm about to put him through.
Because “Thirty-three Red Petals on Snow” is going to take a… weird turn. Very weird. And when we get to the finale you're probably all going to hate me. With every right, I might add. I have to.
It's not a confirmed ending yet, not definitive. Because it's fun to traumatize an entire fadom, to do what I "should do". I'll certainly do that, but with my own voice, after this hellish period.
But to do so, this work must take a strange but more appropriate turn of direction to ensure that the ending is not as definitive as I had imagined. Not only because I want to protect myself in progress but I have time to do so.
I have a feeling what this plot needs to become to entertain what comes from this, but I have time to think about it well
Because yes, I had thought of Lan Qiren's ending as something definitive. Period. The end. Door closed, keys thrown away, no one comes in anymore.
Then I remembered the extras and my brain made that noise: “oh ok, so let’s change everything”. And so nothing, I changed course while I was still writing.
The plot, at a certain point, practically raised its hand and said, "Hey… I'm going to be this later. Take me there however you want, please, I trust you." And I have two paths.
And I chose the one where I let things crash on their own while I watch them and take notes. Lan Qiren deserves so much. But not the ending I had decided on at the beginning as if it were written in stone.
I swear it wasn't supposed to come to this. It wasn't the plan. It wasn't really expected that it would end up under this kind of emotional magnifying glass.
And yes, I want to give him peace. I also have an idea. One of those ideas that pretend to be calm but then you realize later that they ruined your life while you were smiling.
And now something clear to anyone reading my analysis, especially since I forgot your fucking nickname but I'll call you "I'll explain how your story ends".
This is my house. You don't come in, you don't sit on the couch, and you don't tell me how to move the furniture. You don't come in and you don't even ask for coffee. This is my house.
Because walking into my house and telling me “it ends like this” just makes me want to stop you and tell you, with extreme sincerity: “you're a pain in the ass”.
I don't do it not because my brain doesn't think so, but because I have more important things to do than teach a stranger on Tumblr how to be a good social butterfly.
If you have a theory, great. Write it. Publish it. Let it live elsewhere. But don't come here playing the critic with the self-assuredness of someone who thinks he's already finished the book while I'm still writing it.
You have hands, you have words, you have a keyboard. Use them. You have time to complain about this scene or that one that “you don’t like,” so you also have time to open AO3 and write whatever the fuck you want.
Stop assuming that everything has to bend to your current annoyance. I'm not a customer service representative. I don't have a "changes on request" switchboard. And above all, I'm not writing with the fear of losing a reader "just because you don't like a scene."
Don't you like it? ✨That's your problem.✨
I feel sorry for the authors who do this, not because the scene doesn't work, but because there are people like that who expect everything to be rewritten according to their taste of the moment.
Because the problem isn't “you don't like a scene,” that's normal. The problem is the idea that everything has to change, as if there were a narrative customer service ready to correct the product on request.
If you have time to complain, you also have time to write. Even two lines, even a draft, even your own version. You don't need a degree, you don't need to be perfect.
But you can't expect everything to bend to your idea of how a story you're not writing should go.
Because, man, you're really coming to the wrong place for this kind of conversation. And I'll tell you straight away: you're not criticizing here, you're entering someone else's creative space with the attitude of someone who thinks they have "the right" to dictate how it should be written. It's not the same thing.
I have no problem exposing myself in this post. Zero. I can lose a reader today and continue writing exactly as I am. It doesn't change anything. It's not a threat, it's reality. I'm not famous, I'm not untouchable, I'm not “better” than anyone. Precisely for this reason I must not adapt what I write to the annoyance or presumption of those who pass by here.
I'm fed up with normalizing this behavior as if it were acceptable or "part of the game."
It's not "feedback", it's not "constructive criticism", it's not "opinion". When it becomes a "it was supposed to be this way" said with an air of superiority, it's just people who pretend to correct other people's work as if it were a defective product.
And no, it doesn't work that way.
I'm writing as a hobby, not to have my brain edited by strangers on the internet. If you want to leave a negative comment, go ahead. I can even respond in kind, because I have nothing to lose at the end of the day, just an idiot on the internet. And I don't see anything wrong with losing you, little star, byebye.
But I don't accept this false normality where someone can come in, say that your story "needs to change" and then expect applause or polite silence. No.
I bet you're one of those who then complains about the AI authors use to write, and honestly the paradox is embarrassing. Because in the end it's also this attitude's fault, it's this damn behavior that leads to choosing AI instead of the mistake.
Because the point is always the same, you don't want a story, you want control. You want to be able to say “this is right, this is wrong, this is how we change things.” And no. It doesn't work like that.
AO3 is not a catalog to be adjusted to your personal taste. It's not an on-demand service. It's not a product to be remade until you like it. It's a space for free writing. Imperfect. Human. Sometimes inconsistent. Sometimes brilliant. Sometimes deliberately uncomfortable. And yes, it's also full of "errors" according to those who feel they have the right to judge everything from above.
If you want perfect, editorially accurate, filtered content, polished down to the last comma, go elsewhere and pay for it. The end. You are not buying anything here. Here you are reading someone who wrote something because he wanted to, not because he had to meet your standards.
And this claim of “continuous correction” is not critical. It's control disguised as opinion. So no, AO3 is not the problem. The problem is the idea that everything has to fit your tolerance level.
This is my house and the way you are behaving here is not acceptable.
You can disagree, you can criticize, you can even say you don't like a scene. That's normal. But you can't come in with this attitude of controlling what "should" be written, nor expect me or anyone else here to bow to this kind of pressure.
You may have time to complain, but you also have time to write. If you have a different view, write it down. I would gladly read it. But that's not the point here. The point is simple: don't come telling me how to close Lan Qiren. This is my home and the narrative choices are mine.
You can discuss, you can disagree, but you don't enter with the intention of rewriting or imposing a conclusion.
If you don't like it, the simplest thing is to not follow it and shut your mouth, you don't always have to give air to your criticisms
And this applies to me as well as to other authors, you don't like it, it doesn't get into your brain? Don't think you have the right to change the plot because you don't like it.
