Keni
untitled
Mike Driver
Show & Tell
blake kathryn
Cosimo Galluzzi
shark vs the universe
Misplaced Lens Cap
Jar Jar Binks Fan Club
Xuebing Du
PR's Tumblrdome
Claire Keane
cherry valley forever
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
bliss lane
Game of Thrones Daily
Sweet Seals For You, Always
Today's Document
Doug Jones
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@tagandtaylor
sometimes i wonder how a writer would describe me if i were a character in a book
can we make this an ask meme?
reblog this if you want a book description of you sent to your inbox
THE LAST TIME I REBLOGGED THIS I GOT A BORDERLINE FANFIC SO SCREW IT
Writers Assemble
Do you ever write something that, without meaning to, represents your life? It’s the ‘Luke cringed at the sound of his own voice’ for me
Star Wars Characters and Their Go-To Insults
Luke, to Yoda and Ben after learning they lied to him: I am more disappointed in you than I am in the creator of the unsalted pretzel.
Leia, to Han before ESB: I only take you everywhere with me so I don't have to kiss your ugly ass goodbye.
Han, to Leia: I'll never forget the time we met. I'll also never stop trying.
Vader: I do not consider you a vulture. I consider you something a vulture would eat.
Padme, to Vaderkin from the dead: Our kids must've gotten their brain from you. Obviously, I still have mine!
Veers, meeting any and every rebel: Your face is fine but we simply must put a bag over that personality.
Piett: *too tired/busy/desperate to not be Force Choked to insult* *sips caf/tea and gives the Annoyed Admiral Expression*
“Please do not slam-dunk my boyfriend; he has fragile organic bones.”
@togandtoyler
LUE AND ZEV
Luke, talking to Vader: “Please do not force-choke my boyfriend; he has a fragile organic windpipe.”
Star Wars Characters as Conversations I've Had During Quarantine (Part 2)
Han: What are your thoughts on dinner? Today's national chicken wing day, so I was thinking we could order some of those.
Leia: National chicken wing day? That's a thing? God, Americans are disgusting.
Luke: Leia, we're Americans.
Imperial Family Drama
as we all know, Star Wars is basically just the Skywalkers messing up the galaxy with their family drama
we all know that Skywalker Stories ™ are infamous throughout the galaxy, whether they’re talking about Luke’s near-death tendencies, or Vader’s dramatic flare, or Leia’s fear-inducing stature
but a lesser known fact is that the Veers family is JUST AS BAD
General Veers (yes, the imperial general that killed a thousand rebels on Hoth, do keep up) has a rebel son. His wife died when he was working and he couldn’t stop it, and likely blames himself for her death. Because of this, he grew even more faithful to the Empire, though he loathed nepotism and many of the officers around him (except Piett, because that poor man is just exhaustion and stress personified)
On the Wookieepedia page, it says that his son, Zev, is his eldest born child. So I thought, gee, I wonder who the younger one was. Then, of course, I came up with this
Eliana ‘Ellie’ Veers, named after her mother, is a lesbian coffee monger with zero patience and no fucks to give. When alone in a room with her Imperial father and Rebel brother, she would most likely slap the two over the head and demand they get their acts together because she wants them to meet her girlfriend and poor Mara has NO NEED to listen to their annoying family drama
At the same time, though, she’s kind of the glue keeping her family together
She secretly talks to Zev when their father isn’t around, and will always listen to what he has to say. She knows where all the rebel bases are, and is aware of every bit of drama and gossip between the rebels. Vader was never able to track down Skywalker, but she could do it in a minute if she bothered to put her mind to it
That being said
She’s an Imperial
She thinks that some of the concepts and things surrounding the empire (slavery, inequality, etc) are awful, but believes that if made right, the Empire could bring peace to the galaxy. She’s not too politically active, and isn’t nearly as fear-inducing as Leia, but she Will Slap A Bitch if they hurt her family and friends
So the Veers family is like the Skywalkers, but without space magic
And don’t even get me STARTED on Piett’s family
Admiral Piett’s family is pretty much never spoken about in the Star Wars fandom, and because of this, my sick demented mind has come up with a few glorious headcanons: firstly, he has a sister who lives on Axxila and basically is like… not falling for his Nonsense
“I don’t care about your little ‘job’, Firmus, tell your idiot boss that if he chokes you, he’ll have me to answer to. I must give thanks where they are due, after all.” “Awfully rude of you to assume I have time for your self-destructive tendencies, brother dear. Go to bed, please, it’s far too late for you to test my patience.” “Do keep your little Imperial views to yourself, darling, some of us are above that.”
And his sister has three children. One daughter (Kaylinea Firma Piett, 27 years old) and two twin sons (Drafan and Jafan Piett, 8 years old)
Piett both loathes and loves being around said children, because when Skywalker is mentioned to Kaylinea, the girl merely shrugs and says, ‘I would hit that.’ Needless to say, he’s quite thankful that Lord Vader has never met his family
and that’s not all
His nephews are O B S E S S E D with Luke Skywalker
OBSESSED
They have toy X-Wings
They play Jedi
They made themselves mini lightsabers
It’s adorable
But quite frankly
If he gets ONE MORE EMAIL from his darling nephews asking if he’d just catch Skywalker already so they could meet him, his head might explode.
It’s bad enough to have Vader pressuring him
And the entire Imperial Navy following his lead
He didn’t want or need a couple wide eyed identical eight year olds begging if they could meet a g-ddamn terrorist
No thank you!
But of course, when there’s a spy on the Executor, Lord Vader has to personally go through every. single. email. account.
So Darth Vader
The second in command of the kriffing galaxy
Reads Piett’s emails to his nephews explaining why idolizing terrorists is a Bit Not Good
Between worrying for the (nonexistent) safety of his job and the thought that his 8 year old nephews could now, technically, be considered rebel sympathizers, Piett marvels at the fact that reading his nephews’ emails seemed to cheer Vader up
So while Piett was having a mental breakdown
Vader was enjoying the fact that Luke wasn’t even acknowledged as an Imperial Prince and there were children idolizing him
And Veers
ah. Veers!
Veers was sitting in the corner, laughing his goddamn head off because thank the GODS his children weren’t involved with Skywalker in any regard
(They were. Zev and Luke were very close friends {or more, wink wink nudge nudge} and Ellie had met Luke once, too, when she rendezvoused with her brother on her birthday. Ellie had a selfie with Luke, and he even let her swish his lightsaber around.)
Every fic where Vader turns against Palpatine:
*cracks knuckles* what are your orders?
The Rebellion’s Grandma
Okay so
What if there was this one rebel
She’s an old, old lady
And sweet, but also mega badass
And she’s like... everyone’s friend
No one knows her name, and she doesn’t tell anyone, so people just call her the Grandma
She makes people sweaters for Christmas, and she’s basically the Molly Weasley of the Rebel Alliance
She also organizes parties for Halloween, lights a menorah for Hanukkah, and basically caters to any and all religions/belief systems/cultures of the rebels she knows
She’s incredibly old, but believes that everyone is equal—aliens, Wookiee’s, women, members of the LGBTQ+ community
So everyone likes her, because she’s known for being inclusive and kind
When the rebels are on Hoth, she gets a ton of wool from the tauntauns and just makes a million pairs of socks, because all the rebels value socks more than anything else
When you’re in the trenches, or if you get snow in your shoes, or anything like that
You could legit get frostbite and lose limbs
This happened to many rebels in the first few weeks of their inhabitance of Hoth, so Grandma went All In on the sock knitting
Everyone in the rebellion knows that she’s the reason moral is so high
Once an imperial tried to capture her
It did not go well
Now everyone in the Empire knows to Not Mess (TM) with the Grandma (even ‘Iron Max’, aka, General Veers, is terrified of her [but also hopeful that she’s there for his son, too, because Zevulon Veers is a rebel and Veers Sr. doesn’t even know if he’s alive, so if the Grandma is how everyone says she is, Veers hopes she’s helping his child too)
But everyone’s scared of her because she somehow beat the Imperial that attacked within an inch of his life with her cane, even though she’s older than Yoda
The Imperial was shaking afterwards, and reported that the woman was “vehemently reprimanding him for interrupting her cookie-baking” as she defended herself
A lot of rebels (Zevulon Veers, Ahsoka Tano, Luke Skywalker) who don’t have parental figures in their lives go to her
Because she always supports them, even when they’re wrong
And she knows EVERYTHING about EVERYONE because people always go to her to talk because she’s also like... the rebel therapist
She’s super zen and knits and bakes to keep herself calm and collected
She has infamous fruit filled cookies
Sometimes she puts booze in her snacks because she knows what Her Grandchildren need
And because she knows everything
She’s the first person Luke Skywalker turns to when he finds out about Vader
And so she makes him a blue sweater and a pair of gloves that year for his birthday
The sweater has the words “You Are Enough” stitched brightly on the outside
On the inner lining (she made it with double layers, because she knows Luke gets cold in space) it’s written ‘Sithspawn? So what?’
Luke wears it all the time and takes the gloves everywhere with him
Because even if his father is a Sith, even if he might never love Luke the way he deserves to be loved, even if he might have to kill his own father
He has a bomb ass Grandma in his corner
And the thing is
This is true for literally every rebel
The rebels with imperial parents
The rebels who were orphaned because of the Empire
The rebels who have supportive families, but can’t see them because of they’re half a galaxy apart
Every single rebel loves the Grandma
And eventually, Rogue Squadron wonders if there’s a Grandma for the Imperials
So they do some digging
And then they figure out that the Imperials don’t have a Grandma
So
In true rebel fashion
They gossip the hell out of that information and start ANOTHER movement
The Give Imps a Grandma Association. Aka, G.I.G.A.
(Wes Janson was the founder)
The associations catchphrase was “Because even Imperials deserve Grandma.”
And then, the interviews start
Luke Skywalker, Wedge Antilles, Han Solo, Wes Janson, and Hobbie Klivian interview each candidate vigorously, and take samples of their sewing skills and fruit filled cookies
High Command funds it, because who are they to tell Luke Skywalker (the kid that just got his HAND CHOPPED OFF for their cause) no
And so the interviews continue
And eventually they give up
Because no one is more grandma than the Grandma
So eventually they decide that they can send Imperials gifts from the Grandma, since they can’t give her up themselves
Admiral Piett gets an olive green sweater that says “Stressed but Blessed” in white cursive letters, and a matching green tea cozy
Vader gets a black knitted cape (and a small blue, left-hand glove that didn’t make sense to him at first, but when he finds a holopic of Luke in a blue sweater and glove over his right hand, it makes sense and makes him wonder at the same time)
General Veers also gets a sweater, but it’s a deep purple color with grey designs along the cuffs (grey and purple and Denons national colors [in my brain, at least])
Every single stormtrooper gets a blanket in their favorite colors, and a personalized note bundled up inside
The Imperials were in turmoil
They didn’t know who had made everything, just that they showed up in front of everyone’s quarters two days ago
Admiral Piett was worried they were contaminated
Oddly enough, it was General Veers who made everyone keep their gifts
It had made his troops happy, had boosted morale, and General Veers would never hesitate to be an advocate for his soldiers’ needs
So everyone kept the gifts
Every now and then, officers would catch a glimpse of blue fabric poking out of Vader’s belt compartment
if you went to fetch General Veers from his quarters, you would find the man resting in his purple sweater
Piett would frequently sip tea from a cup shrouded in a green knit tea cozy
They loved their gifts
But still, no one knew how they had gotten onto the Executor
Not even the Rebels knew
‘It had to have been the powers of the Grandma,’ they would decode years later
Because there was no power in the universe, not even the Force, that outweighed the power of the Grandma
I’m so mad because this worked
help me roger
Reblogging myself because
Originally posted by gifs-for-the-masses
Reblogging myself because… what was that? Five minutes?
O_O
………my friend has made me curious
help me roger
Update: after I reblogged this someone messaged me offering me tickets to the sold out Hausu screening with a Q&A and autograph session with the director
These never work for me, but here’s to trying.
I don’t believe in these things
But last time I reblogged one ten/fifteen minutes later I got a call offering me a job
But I reblogged it because I was waiting on hearing back from the job. So there you go.
Roger is cute.
Eh Roger is cute I might as well
That fish is so happy it makes me happy.
Puffers are so cute!!!!!!
Pls help me win the Hamilton Lottery Pls
I must pass my German Final tomorrow. I pray to thee Roger
Roger plz get rid of the depression, anxiety and tremors caused by them. That would help a lot.
maybe I’ll find a fucking boyfriend that lives near me and is fucking adorable who knows
Please Roger man I need something good rn😖
these never work for me but anyway
Roger is cute :)
Luke's Introduction to Any Imperial Ever
Vader: I know that a lot of you are very angry at Luke because he destroyed the Death Star and is a rebel
Vader: However
Vader: If any of you hurts him in any way emotionally
Vader: Or taunts him
Vader: Or makes fun of his height or his hopeless love for the Light Side--
Luke: Uh... okay! Thanks, Father.
Things Not To Think About
-Anakin Skywalker before he REALLY became Vader, struggling to cope with the suit
-Not knowing how to speak to make people take him seriously
-Slowly beginning to hate the galaxy more and more because he felt so powerless under Palpatine’s reign
-Feeling like a slave
-Having panic attacks and/or PTSD in front of his troops when he feels seriously taken advantage of
-The stormtroopers not knowing how to handle it and calling him crazy when he’s having a breakdown (they are NOT his old troopers, this isn’t the REAL 501st squadron, he needs Rex and Cody and he CAN’T--)
-Him forcechoking them because of it
-Slowly making a habit of it
-Realizing that it was impossible to have any allies in the galaxy
-Seeing Ahsoka and just HURTING because WHY WEREN’T YOU THERE, I NEEDED YOU AND YOU WEREN’T THERE, I WOULDN’T BE IN THE SUIT IF IT WASN’T FOR YOU, YOU COULD’VE STOPPED ME, WHY DID YOU LEAVE
-Then meeting Firmus Piett, aka the Admiral, who ended up being the closest thing he had to an ally/trusted worker
-Piett being his best worker, Vader trusting him, Piett even trusting Vader, even though he’s a Super Scary Sith, he’s a good leader, and Piett would follow him through an asteroid field
-But even Piett failed him, when they couldn’t get Luke at Bespin, and he was so overwhelmed with self-hatred after cutting his son’s--his SON’S--hand off and so overwhelmed with disappointment after being rejected by the ONE person who could ever possibly love him again that all he could do was walk away
-How walking away and not choking the Admiral ultimately started him back down the path towards the light side, because even though he was hurting, he forgave the Admiral for his failures, something he had never done before
-How at some point during the fight with Palpatine on the second Death Star he felt all of his troops, including Piett, die on the Executor when it crashed
-How that, combined with the thought of his son in pain made him realize what he had to do
-Seeing Piett and all those he hurt and scared in the afterlife and apologizing
-Piett being a good man and accepting it, but never truly forgiving Vader for forcing him to watch Ozzel die, to watch Needa die, to watch the some of the crew of the Executor die in the asteroid field
-Realizing it was all because of Luke
-That Vader killed people and allowed his crew to die because of family drama
-Piett, the only person Vader nearly considered an ally throughout his adult life, not being able to cope being around the Sith because of everything
-The hurt and angst surrounding their near-friendship
-Piett practically hating Luke, Vader sensing it, and understanding it, but loathing it and hating Piett because of it
-The relationships and friendships Vader had in his past life still being super shaky and not secure
-Vader wishing he had someone, anyone, that could be there for him
-Padme forgave, but didn’t forget. The Jedi still think he’s dark. Obi-Wan understanding, but still not being what he needed
-Vader being entirely alone, in life and in death, because of the manipulations and anger of Darth Sidious
Having friends on tumblr is really great. I often refer to you guys in real life as “my friend from england/autralia/california/new york” and it makes people think I’m very well traveled when really I’ve just spent a lot of time on the Internet.
If you refer to people on tumblw irl at all… then bud you’re doing something fundamentally wrong…
sounds like somebody isn’t using the somebody else’s brain
I go “oh yeah I’ve heard of that, my friend from America told me”
Half of my friends: “a…criminal??? A 60 year old man pretending to be someone they’re not??? SHAME”
The other half who also have online friends: “cool, I was actually told by mine who’s from Australia”
I don’t think of you guys as people at all…. Y'all are on my freakin level too good to be a mere mortal
Me, an introvert: online friends???? FRIENDS?????
The person I reblogged this from deserves to be happy
I tried to scroll past this. I really did
I need a ‘what we do in the shadows’ style mockumentary of the force ghosts all crashing in Luke’s apartment.
Highlights include
Anakin binge watching soap operas while eating ice-cream and yelling at the screen
Qui-Gon trying to introduce kale into the house
Obi-wan and Anakin still having the argument about Cato Neimoidia (along with many other arguments)
Luke coming out to his family, there are hugs and the next day Anakin is walking around with an ‘I love my gay son’ t-shirt and buys a giant rainbow flag (Luke acts embarrassed but loves it really)
Obi-Wan making a chores chart, which no one follows
There are family meetings, where nothing really ends up being solved
Luke, walking into his house: hello, people who don’t live here.
Anakin: in our defense...
Yoda: out of Doritos, we were
list of people Luke Skywalker is gay for
Han Solo
Biggs Darklighter
Wedge Antilles
feel free to add!
Don’t forget Lando Calrissian!! That scene where he caught Luke after Bespin.... I mean........
Palpatine when Luke shows up
