flashback.
yesterday, i woke up with not a care in the world. yesterday, i woke up and planned to have the regular day i wanted. instead, i received the past knocking on my front door. literally. after years of letting you go, you came back to say “hi”. as i prepared to speak to you, my heart almost beat out of my chest. it was pumping hard to keep my body moving, to keep my mind alert, but i was in a haze. i wanted to be nonchalant and carefree, but i gave a shit. i don’t know when or how, but some how you ended up inside my home. and it was like you never left. the way we talked and the way you looked at me. it was as if nothing ever happened. as if the terrible tsunami didn't wash away all of our beautiful temples and crush the warm homes you made with love. but as i looked at you, i remembered the innocence of our love. the way i loved you, without a care in the world. and although it felt like normal, it was missing one huge piece, my deep romantic unconditional love for you. i realized i will ALWAYS love you and i will have the utmost respect for you. but i cannot LOVE you. i’m already deeply, madly, and truly in LOVE with someone else. and he makes my heart flutter, and he makes me want to protect his heart with everything i have. i broke your beautiful heart and it makes me ache that you can still look at me with love. maybe i’ll always feel guilty. but i cannot regret letting you go, because i couldn’t love you boundlessly. yesterday, i didn’t remember the past. but today, i will cherish it. and remember that you were the reason i know how to love. you were my first love and i honor what we had.














