Wørld Wide Weeb

Êvęrÿøńè gather årøûñd før a šhøw. Watch as this man disappears as we knøw. Dø me a fævør and try tø įgńørę as yøu watch him fall thrøügh a bleeding trap døør.

[mysharona1987]

Divorce cakes. I didn’t even know these existed.

[andrewreilleywritings]

i thought these were just wedding cakes because straight people are just like this

[linusquotes]

[perhapsarat]

there will never be another headline that comes close to comparing with this

[butch-king-frankenstein]

My favorite thing about Thomas the Tank Engine is that it canonically takes place in a train post-apocalypse where the Island of Sodor is the only safe zone in a totalitarian dystopia in which steam trains are routinely killed and their body parts are sold or cannibalized for repair

If you think I’m kidding you need to read the original books

[co-rp]

could you please direct me to a source? i would feel much better if this was validated.

[butch-king-frankenstein]

It took me so long to find this quote online but I did it because it’s so much darker than one might expect from Thomas the Tank Engine:

“…Engines on the Other Railway aren’t safe now. Their controllers are cruel. They don’t like engines any more. They put them on cold damp sidings, and then,” Percy nearly sobbed, “they…they c-c-cut them up.” -”The Bluebells of England.”  Stepney the Bluebell Engine.  Rev. Awdry, Wilbert.  London: Egmont Publishing, 1963.

This illustration, by Gunvor and Peter Edwards, accompanied the above text in the original book, and depicts a pair of unfortunate Other Railway engines moments before being disassembled with a blowtorch.

[nightjarring]

HOLY FUCK LOOK AT THE ONE IN THE BACKGROUND THEY TOOK ITS FUCKING FACE OMG

[butch-king-frankenstein]

[zidane-xv]

the early thomas the tank engine books are pretty standard stuff. saccharine bubblegum type stories and illustrations. if you watched the show, it’s like that in book form. the second half of the railway series are so fucking dark and surreal i’m convinced they were a result of reverend wilbur awdry doing copious amounts of lsd and having hallucinations of his own death.

[butch-king-frankenstein]

Excuse me but the very first story in the Railway Series is about an engine who hides in a tunnel and refuses to run because he doesn’t want to get his paint job ruined in the rain, so railway management seals off the tunnel.

They eventually let him out because another engine breaks down or something, but the original plan was to just leave him in there forever.

[sholembond]

On the show, didn’t they also hook up one engine to a generator, so he’d never move again? That was literally one of the lines, I think. It’s on some other post on here. It was chilling.

[butch-king-frankenstein]

Yes!  This also happened in the books, to an engine referred to only as “No. 2″, but the television series applied the same scenario to an invented character named “Smudger”, in the episode “Granpuff”.

“Smudger,” said Duke. “Was a show-off. He rode roughly and often came off the rails. I warned him to be careful, but he took no notice.” “Listen, Dukie” he snared. “Who worries about a few spills?” “We do here! I said, but Smudger just laughed.” “Hahaha!” “Until one day, Manager said he was going to make him useful at last. Smudger stopped laughing then!” “W-w-why? What did he do?!” “He turned him into a generator. He’s still there behind our shed. He’ll never move again.”

[deducecanoe-deactivated20161213]

This is so fucked up

[unclewhisky-deactivated20150726]

No, listen.

Okay, so we see Railway Management doing all this shit, right, but supposedly it’s so much worse in the Other Railways? I mean, sure, you might get turned into a generator or bricked into a tunnel for not doing as you’re told, but at least you’re not cut up and sold for parts, right? It’s not so bad on the island of Sodor, right?

Or maybe that’s just what Railway Management wants the engines to think.

Maybe the island of Sodor is the real totalitarian regime, and the engine citizens (slaves) are fed propaganda, illustrated in hellish grays and sulfuric yellows, about how bad it is everywhere else, at all the Other Railways.

You are lucky to be an engine of Sodor.

Railway Management cares about you.

Trust Railway Management.

Stay on Your Track.

It Could Be So Much Worse.

[coralineandthesapphicfantastic]

Wtf the fuck is this train based 1984 bullshit

[death-420]

i had a dream that i was solid snake workin at taco bell

[maxknightley]

“Uhhhh, can I get a doritos locos taco?”

“Doritos locos taco… Colonel, what’s the procedure?”

“That’s a taco with a special shell, Snake – made not from an ordinary corn tortilla but designed to evoke the famous tortilla chip, packed with extreme flavor. Substitute the shell and prepare the rest of the taco normally.”

“Got it. Excuse me, customer. There’s both Cool Ranch and Nacho Cheese shells here. Which would you prefer?”

“Cool ranch, please.”

“On it.”

[death-420]

can we get david hayter in on this

[virtanderson]

[f0rgemaster]

guess who met david hayter 

[virtanderson]

AAAAAAAAAA

[rbthemad]

holy shit i’m fucking tired

[rochasaurus-deactivated20211230]

NOT AS TIRED AS OUR TROOPS!

[rbthemad]

hey can you shut the fuck up i’m tryna nap

[rochasaurus-deactivated20211230]

Nap? Wait until you’re a parent, then you’ll REALLY want to nap!

[thekarmariaconnection]

Gotta love meaningful dialogue choices that are sure to influence the story

[styro-sometimes]

[ka-te-fe-ar-deactivated20180905]

And before anyone makes any 4/20 weed comments, the date is the anniversary of the Columbine massacre. 

[jazzybot4]

Damn straight. Fuck, I’ll host GED classes in the damn library if it keeps kids safe. I’ll share what skill with words I have, what life experience I have, and make sure that the kids in my community come home safe and stay that way. Remember kids: Student walk-outs and sit-in protests are incredibly effective, because it means that the system is breaking down. Their authority only goes as far as you let it. Don’t bring weapons to protests. Don’t bring mace or tear gas to protests. Get bottled water, at least six bottles per person for four hours. Pack a first aid kit. Ace bandages, band-aids, water, dried gatorade (a scoop in a bottle of water helps prevent heat stroke due to dehydration), and sunscreen. Keep emergency contacts on all cell phones, and if possible appoint someone in the group to be the designated emergency contact caller. Their job, if shit goes south, is to run to safety and call parents, call friends, call help, not just the police. Don’t be afraid of Juvie. Your record is expunged at 18, if the crime isn’t something like murder.

[bullletproof-love]

a relationship isn’t always 50/50. some days a person will struggle. you suck it up and pick up that 80/20 cus they need you. that’s love.

[takenaghast]

It's important for it to not always be 80/20, however. It's a balance thing, like anything in life.

[tchaikovsgay]

I’m over here dying to have a wife and straight men are still making “marriage ruined my life” jokes. Like? Buddy? First of all that’s never been funny. Second, if you don’t want your wife I’ll take her

[bearlygrunge]

​if ppl joke about marriage ruining whatever… bro, you shouldn’t have gotten married and your wife deserves more.

[martenmischief-blog]

I find myself having to ask this question constantly but as a straight dude am I allowed to reblog this because I relate so hard

[tchaikovsgay]

Absolutely! I wrote this from a lesbian perspective but I think it’s great that there’s straight guys who can relate. Cherishing your partner should be a universal thing

[hashtagloveloses]

corporate marketing exec: so, what are the kids into these days, eating tide pods? frogs? me, scrolling frantically through the data: ma'am, apparently it’s “loving and cherishing your life partner of any gender”

[just-shower-thoughts]

The “mac” in Mac and Cheese is an acronym for Mac and Cheese

[craashintome]

is this not what happened

[moonthymes]

anyway jeff bezos could eradicate homelessness. he could literally give each homeless person 100k and it would only take less than .5% of his entire wealth. what the actual god giving fuck

[oncelerfucker69-deactivated2019]

@ the people in the notes talking about stock value dropping: you’re all cowards stop investing in amazon and invest in some critical thinking skills 😩

[setheverman]

Dw🅰️yne “The 🆑ock” 🅱️ohnson

[ad-meliora-per-aspera-blog]

Do you accept constructive criticism OP?

[setheverman]

i absolutely do! :)

[jemnya-deactivated20181224]

It’s a good post :)

[setheverman]

thank you! :D

[gunophilia]

Just realized that the ending of Life is Strange is literally the trolley problem…

Either you deliberately go back in time with the purpose of letting her die, saving the entire town or you do nothing and let the storm take its course naturally, freeing you from moral responsibility.

In any case, it made for a hilarious mental image.

[glumshoe]

friendships that fluctuate between really stupid weird flippant jokes and earnest vulnerability and deep affection make life so much richer

[brigwife-deactivated20240426]

I don’t know what it is about Star Wars but even if it’s not your biggest fandom, it still has the funniest memes by a long shot I mean “look at all the fucks i give anakin” and “your poncho is a piece of junk” and anakin hates sand it’s all just 1000% pure class

[brigwife-deactivated20240426]

YOU CAN’T BEAT THIS SHIT

[d-exclamation]

And my new favorite: