I'm smart and mean @tally-reads - Tumblr Blog

Draco finally caved and bought one of those muggle telephones everyone is on about, though he doesn’t quite understand how it works yet…

The Muggle Telephone

ft. himbo Draco, confusing muggle technology, and a whole lot of embarrassment.

Visual descriptions included for those who use text-to-speech software.

Now on AO3!

cozyautumnspices

lillagrim

relelvance

In what world is tall muscular man not conventionally attractive

piedude

We've all been down here too long. I truly think there's a chunk of tumblr's population that can no longer survive sunlight.

reagan-slayer69

women will say “hear me out” and show u a photo of pyramid head and then tumblr users will go “this is a perfectly normal man and an ice cold take”

blueboxbeagle

By LabradoriteKing on Pinterest

fuckyeahdwarffortress

A handy guide for your Jewellers and Gem Cutters.

I accept payment in trillion-cut black diamonds.

Chop chop.

writing-prompt-s

Useful!

mundaneamerica

Mundane America. Broken pole with rope and an American Flag. Cincinnati, Ohio.

gaslampsglow

Wait. Wait.

Wait.

I know that telephone pole.

I know that telephone pole intimately because I’m the one who broke it.

Thats the pole next to Sycamore Jr. High, in between the jr high school and Pipkins, where I had my second car accident. A woman t-boned my car and drove me into that pole in 2008 and it took them years to actually take it down.

That black metal pole you see just beyond the broken phone pole is a “Now Leaving/Welcome To Blue Ash, Ohio” sign, visible at 5520 Cooper Road on google maps.

(the flag is there, btw, because its the starting point for the Blue Ash/Montgomery July 4th parade.)

nehirose

The internet is so staggeringly immense that I can’t help but be disproportionately delighted when things like this happen.

campingwithmonsters

For those of you who weren’t able to get 100% of the total solar eclipse today… I gotchu <3

xphaiea

Mayan carved stone entrance, caves of Xcaret, Riviera Maya, Mexico

clearbreathing

18th century indian dagger and sheath

I think you might like this book – "Your Coffin or Mine (Monster Bae Series Book 1)" by Jacklyn Hyde.

Start reading it for free: https://a.co/3MAJiJB

Shared via Kindle. Description: <p>A runaway bride. A grumpy 600-year-old vampire pretending to be human. A disaster waiting to happen.</p><

animentality

koalastick

this post gets more important every year

Their Favorite Game by Callie Sky

ARC REVIEW AND RATING

Spice: 4/5

Plot 3/5

There were some grammar and spelling mistakes, the author is going back and fixing them. There were some continuity errors, but I was able to read it

No one guy has ever grabbed my attention, but three guys have. It wouldn’t be an issue if they weren’t my brother's best friends. I have been crushing on them since I was a kid. Now, I’m eighteen and my feelings haven’t changed. Too bad they don’t feel the same way. Or so I thought. Then one night, they asked me to play truth or dare .

Jake : The entrepreneur about to take over his dad’s company. Everything about him is sexy, even how he grazes his hand across my thigh.

Rex : The football player. He has the body of a linebacker and the kindest heart. Whenever I am upset, he is the first one there. Of course, I fell for him.

Matty : The genius. For someone who graduated high school at fourteen, you would think he would take life seriously. He doesn’t. He is the one who always wants to play a game

#kindle unlimited #kindle romance #brothers best friend #praise kink #reverse harem #Their Favorite Game by Callie Sky #Callie Sky

anti-workshop

“Time theft” is the boss’s term for not breaking our necks on the job to increase their profits.

If you’re not an EMT, maybe take a breather. Your job probably isn’t life or death.

https://anti-work.shop/

todaysbird

if you make below $20/hr you don’t need to be on your hands and knees scrubbing the floor when you have ‘free time’

taylorswift

It’s a new soundtrack 💙 Here are the back covers and vault track titles for 1989 (my version) I can’t wait for this one to be out, seriously. Thank you for playing along, sleuthing, puzzling and making these reveals so much chaotic fun (which is the best kind of fun, after all 😜)

memewhore

kaijuno

kittykattaffy

Yeah, that doesn't prevent pregnancy.

kaijuno

Dfgajagakala it’s so you don’t get a UTI 😂

jabberwockypie

*facepalm* So, given that sex ed in the US is a tire fire:

Vagina-having people have a shorter urethra, which means we’re more prone to UTIs because the bacteria doesn’t have to travel as far to get up into your bladder and cause a problem.

Which means if you’re exposing your bits to bacteria (as with sex), peeing will flush out bacteria in the urethra. (Urine isn’t actually sterile - that’s a myth - but you’re *supposed to* have a little bit of bacteria - that’s how bodies work. But it still flushes things out that shouldn’t be there.)

Oh! You should ALSO pee after you masturbate, especially if it involves penetration with fingers/toys/etc

jabberwockypie

So I’ve blocked like five transphobes on this post, which I feel should have been relatively uncontroversial.

If you’re one of the people saying “You meant ‘women’”, fuck you. I meant “people who have a vagina, regardless of their gender or lack thereof”, and you can go fuck yourself with a cactus.

And you should pee afterward, so you don’t get a UTI.