[dovesick]

various types of pigeons

[pussyronin-deactivated20260120]

look dude me transforming painfully into a centipede isnt a fetish thing its for work. Can you take a pictyre for my linkedin its starting hherggghh

[magicmooshka]

my comic for terrible comic day 2026

[sawxix]

funniest possible singular sentence in the english language has already been conceived n it's the first line of the tardis wiki article on "sex"

[sawxix]

the past tense implying sex has since been eradicated. the six (6) different synonyms all with 1-3 linked sources. those extensive citations juxtaposed with the extremely vague given definition of "an action performed by two or more people" . it's so fucking good. I could never put together a sentence this funny even if you gave me a full paid year off 2 do it

[marshlings]

something i embroidered for my mom’s upcoming birthday 🫑🥕 pattern by yula!

[victusinveritas]

[roadien60]

Source:

FAQ: The “Snake Fight” Portion of Your Thesis Defense

Q: Do I have to kill the snake? A: University guidelines state that you have to “defeat” the snake. There are many ways to accomplish this.

That thing went viral af when I was doing my phd

Also if this were real I'd have had to fight a really freaking big snake

[parkchanwoohoo]

[fluentisonus]

people are like you just need to apply to 10 jobs a day meanwhile each of the jobs want you to write them 1500 words of uniquely tailored sycophancy & then manually input your cv into their custom application form 3 different times

[parkchanwoohoo]

Got kicked out of the X-men school because my only superpower is giving dogs insomnia. No yeah it's like one directional, I can't remove it. Yeah I know it's not called the X-men school but like you knew what I meant, everyone knows what I meant

[hydrattan]

I was feeling agitated and artblocked yesterday so I decided to give my brain a rest by watching TV and then the next thing I knew these were in front of me

[florthier-than-thou]

I’m new to Canadian BL—why can’t they fly?

[romanceyourdemons]

in retrospect my father was kind of iconic for how he handled it when he called someone a twat in front of little kid me and i asked what that word meant. the answer he came up with was, and i’ll always remember this, “no one knows what it means. it’s a mystery”

[pwhl-mybeloved]

yesterday my uber driver told me he stopped wearing glasses and just decided his eyes were better and I was like man as the passenger in this elantra I would like you to keep more secrets from me

[hymen-restoration-project]

My girl said she wants me klarnally (we fuck in 25% completion installments over the course of 3 months until climax)

[bhramarii]

no mondays in the cambrian era

[neueclear-deactivated20260129]

[rockergiirl]

*test driving a car with the salesperson in the car with me* hey do you mind if i test the sound system with my music?

yeah sure go ahead

*connect my mp3 player*

*song starts and the vocals are clearly my voice*

i love crashing my car, crashing the car i'm driving is my favourite, the only thing i love more than crashing cars is crashing cars with other people in the car with me