really need to work on my stupid diploma, but apparently zosan is more important to me rn

JBB: An Artblog!

ellievsbear
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
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Keni
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DEAR READER
ojovivo
Jules of Nature
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

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@tedahfromtayla
really need to work on my stupid diploma, but apparently zosan is more important to me rn
not dating yet
the idea that hollander "tamed" rozanov is really funny to shane because like. ilya finds it hot and is always going along with it, yes of course my husband is so sexy why do you think i moved to this boring fucking city. for dick. meanwhile shane knows the truth which is that ilya tamed himself. he herded shane like a sheepdog until he was exactly in the right position for ilya to flop down at his feet and say i love you, i am a one man guy, sleep with other people if you want but you are it for me, so shane is always there like ??? ilya. what are you talking about. i was literally prepared to be a secret slot on your roster for the rest of time without even admitting that i was gay until you decided to have me over make me lunch and say my name while you come like a love confession and ilya goes lyubmiyy. shut up. i was untamable you tamed the untamable and so shane has to be like yes, baby, i worked so hard, i used all my tricks but he's rolling his eyes because ilya wants to be a wolf shane coaxed inside to sleep on the hearth but instead he's a cat who snuck through the window and fell in love with his prey. self domesticated. and this is just one of the many perfect games they play
pratchett will write an entire book about the grim reaper pretending to be santa claus while the grim reaper’s granddaughter goes about hunting down the dumbass who decided to kill santa, and then right when you think you’re done and the oddly pointed shenanigans are winding down he hits you with “humans need fantasy to be human. to be the place where the falling angel meets the rising ape,” and knocks you into next wednesday
#YOU NEED TO BELIEVE IN THINGS THAT ARENT TRUE#HOW ELSE CAN THEY BECOME#god those words are engraved on my heart#gnu terry pratchett
“Why does the third of the three brothers, who shares his food with the old woman in the wood, go on to become king of the country? Why does James Bond manage to disarm the nuclear bomb a few seconds before it goes off rather than, as it were, a few seconds afterwards? Because a universe where that did not happen would be a dark and hostile place. Let there be goblin hordes, let there be terrible environmental threats, let there be giant mutated slugs if you really must, but let there also be hope. It may be a grim, thin hope, an Arthurian sword at sunset, but let us know that we do not live in vain.”
GNU TERRY PRATCHETT
Gnu Terry Pratchett
GNU Terry Pratchett
GNU Terry Pratchett
They should just bite the bullet and make a female James Bond. Hot, athletic, suave. She wears tuxedos with a somewhat feminine cut, drinks vodka martinis, drives sports cars, and goes by "James", because why not.
Also, because this is incredibly important to Bond for some reason, she needs to be an incredibly predatory, womanizing lesbian. Some perfectly happy married straight woman needs to become gay by the end of the movie.
We live in the future, and we can admit that all of the cool things that a Male James Bond can do are things a Female James Bond can do. But at all costs, we need to avoid making this thing feel "woke" of self-aware. If Female Bond is not exactly as toxic and awesome as any of the male ones, we will have failed, and might as well be making another franchise.
Ryan Gosling’s career has just been one long quest to climb the Warner Bros water tower
that man has been trying to climb this tower since he was 16. he has asked multiple times, and every time they said no, but now he’s famous enough & variety was able to convince them to do a shoot on the tower. it all led here. it was all for this.
I’m obsessed with the implication that this was a coming-of-age ritual where a boy becomes a man, like a bar mitzvah
it’s so magical and beautiful that there are sprawling interconnected cave systems carved deep into the earth by various geological forces and you don’t have to go in them. there are miles and miles of stone passageways in total darkness that require you to exhale all the air out of your lungs to squeeze through parts of them and you don’t have to be there. some of these squeezes are underwater and require cave divers to take off their oxygen tanks and push them through ahead of them and me i am above ground looking at the sky as we speak. there are untold subterranean wonders no human has ever seen and i will not be the one to discover them #grateful #blessed
Grace: *Retroactively freaking out about Doing A Misogyny™*
Rocky: Me and the bestie!!! :)
And lazy. If you are not willing to invest and practice and improve and put in the actual hours and hours of work you don't get the validation. Because you did nothing, others did it for you, you just took it and claimed it your own.
bonus/proof:
we tipped her well dw. best waitress ever 🍒
“Ilya seems very confident, very controlling. But he’s actually a deeply empathetic and kind lover, and that’s part of his character — that’s a reveal about Ilya. He may not want you to think that, but actually, he’s a really good guy. And part of that is reflected in the fact that he wants Shane to enjoy this too. He’s not looking for selfish sex; they’re both looking for a connection.” ⏤ Jacob Tierney
Concept: the strawhats can’t find Sanji. He’s not cooking. He’s not in the pantry. He’s not in his bunk.
The search party slowly grows in size as they all join in the search, increasing in confusion as they go, until they finally wake Zoro up from where he’s sleepily curled up on the galley couch.
And as he blearily lifts his head, a second, blonde head peaks out from where Sanji was curled up with him, almost completely hidden by Zoro’s bulk.
In The Road to El Dorado there is only really one inexplicable thing within the plot. Miguel and Tulio plausibly bluff their way through or slip out of most situations. However, I’d never figured out why the volcano actually stops erupting when Tulio commands it.
The conclusion I finally came up with is that the actual gods were watching their big entrance go down, and thought “oh, this’ll be hilarious”
theres a lot of evidence throughout the movie to say that the armadillo (whose name is bibo) is a god.
they first find him in the jungle, where an armadillo has no business being
they find the entrance to the city, while being followed by him
he is present when the volcano starts to erupt (previous concept art also showed him in the background actually stopping the eruption)
miguel and tulio sucked ass at the ball game, so they used Bibo as a ball. He ricocheted himself all over the place and defied physics to get into the hoop every time
they come up with the flood plan to stop cortez when bibo pushed a glass over in front of them
YOUR TELLING ME THEY USED GOD AS A BASKETBALL?
No. They used a god as a lacross ball. There is a difference. and to be clear? The god volunteered.
sex isn't sexy unless it's a little bit gross. have you forgotten that you are a divine ape? plastic smooth skin, plucked hair, painted faces, scripted reactions, scrubbed til only the smell of perfumed soap remains, proportions that are conflictingly cookiecutter yet unattainable, none of this is even a little bit interesting.
you can laugh at napoleon's "home in three days, don't bathe" letter to his wife, but there's more sexuality in that one line then there is in the entirety of the hypersexualized but painfully unsexy internet.
What are your thoughts on musk?
i hope he dies
This was in another goodwill bin and I'm gonna put the back cover under a cut just so you can experience the same sensation of flipping it over to see this:
I'm very very glad that my knee-jerk, gut-feeling, primal-instinct reaction to seeing a Default Influencer is embarrassment. I think this saves me from a lot of bullshit.
Some lip-filler lady on enough Ozempic to euthanize a horse: "The sad truth is an elite lifestyle takes money and discipline. Buy these brands on credit if you have to. Skip meals."
Me: "Oh. Oh I'm physically experiencing the effects of secondhand embarrassment. You live like this? This is your life? Your interiority? If I was anything like this I'd kill myself I think."
To be clear ☝️, absolutely not gender-exclusive. Some broccoli-haired shirtless 23-year-old man on enough trenbolone to euthanize a different horse starts talking about how to be a high-value male and I start thinking instantly about how I'd have 4,000 slugs use me as a jungle-gym before I'd want this man within cootie-contagion distance of me.