[segamascott]

[orteil42]

controversial stance but i do wish i could live forever. i certainly live like i'm going to live forever. i take my time. realistically however my lifespan is dreadfully limited and there are things i've "been meaning to do" that i will never get around to. the Emoji Movie came out almost 10 years ago. in all that time on any random day i could've decided to sit down and watch it, and i did not. how many more decades will slip by like this? conceivably, it could be all the decades i have left. watching the Emoji Movie would not be, after all, a crucial use of my time. much better things to do. i could easily postpone it over and over and over until my final breath where it may not even register to me that i never did watch the Emoji Movie. no great loss, certainly; and yet i find myself intrigued by Patrick Stewart's involvement

[7777777awawawa7777777]

?

[7777777awawawa7777777]

when that shawarma hit

[byjove]

idioms are always funnier in languages you do not understand, especially when a native speaker is struggling to explain and actively digesting how ridiculous it is in real time

[bakwaaas]

adult life is crazy because you can be going through the most devastating and heartbreaking things while still having to go to work and do the laundry and grocery shopping

[chocoholicbec]

@hamletthedane’s tags are worth reading.

[dankmemeuniversity]

[iamoutofideas]

[balaclava-trismegistus]

Just saw my doctor type "FUCKED FOR LIFE" on my chart then he turned the screen away and stopped making eye contact with me

[yellbug]

modesty

[rizsnt]

break out of your role 🌻🌟

[haunted-xander]

Mentors in Deltarune are either a dead old man or an anime twink trying to fuck your dad

Alternatively:

[gorusiti7]

Kawkaw wants to play!

[funtergeist]

thing i drew before chapter 5 came out... i didnt like it enough to post but i think its more relevant now

[kosmogrl]

[innerchildabortionclinic]

interesting kink assortment on the dash

[myriapoda-1306]

One time I came home from uni very upset and my younger siblings asked what's wrong. I said that mutated flies in our lab escaped because someone broke their jar. I didn't even realise how scary it sounded to them until I saw their faces lmao. I was upset because we were short on said flies (they don't reproduce very well) and my siblings thought that some crazy radioactive fly monsters escaped and we are all fucked now. Love being a mad scientist in their eyes lowkey

[riseofthecommonwoodpile]

you make one fucking post where the point is “women are encouraged to develop disordered eating from a very young age and that impacts how we view the ‘natural’ size and shape of women” and too many reblogs later i am being accused of saying short people wouldn’t exist if they ate better growing up. i’m sorry but if you genuinely think i was saying that you are just a buffoon. i cannot and will not sanction your buffoonery.

[caridina]

if u think im pretty. splash me 💦

if u think im scary. slash me 🔪

if u think im smoky. ash me 🚬

if u think im small potatoes. mash me 🥔