All We Know Is Falling

Pictures. Skating Blather. Stuff I think is cool.

[jackabbot]

The Power of Details: Inside The Pitt | The Pitt Season 2

[cpericardium]

[feminist-space]

[feminist-space]

[segamascott]

[segamascott]

[steadynursewizard]

This is the closest thing to a smile I've ever seen this man do for media

[scoutsmoocrew]

This person needs to be arrested im going to cry

[sapper-in-the-wire-old]

How do you go through all the effort of setting up a sous vide to do this????

[swagforbirds]

never tell me that magic isnt real ever again when this is clear evidence of a person transmogrifing Meat into Wood

[thyrell]

i can transmogrify meat into wood by lookin at pictures of titties if ya get what im sayin

[weaselle]

hey, we all love tiddies here but this person has perpetrated a crime against nature and we need you stay focused

[mulhollandrivedyke]

[donnerpartyofone]

It's hard to say this without sounding like a right wing dickhead, but the thing about progressive spaces is that they may naturally attract people who are always on the lookout for excuses to start a fight. Like you can find yourself faced with someone whose political outrage is totally justified, and whose humanitarian ideals are right on the money, but simultaneously they are carrying a ton of psychological baggage about being wronged and getting revenge, and they will exploit literally any opportunity to live out this psychodrama with anyone in their line of vision. I have thought of several related anecdotes since I started typing this post, but I'll limit myself to the thing that inspired it, which is that I just visited this ultra-lefty cafe/bike shop/community gathering space where I've heard that the proprietor is constantly in a fight with everyone around her. When I paid for my stuff I noticed that there was no tip option, but I thought I had heard something about this, so I snuck away to look at the website and it made me really glad I didn't ask! I think there should have been a really enticing and exciting way for her to say "I've decided to be the change I want to see in the world, so I'm paying my baristas a full living wage, I'm making sure EVERYONE feels welcome and comfortable here, and I'm selling products I believe in!" -- but instead all the web copy sounded more like "You're either with me or against me, you're a fucking piece of shit asshole if you can't handle the inclusive atmosphere here, and by the way tipping is for fascist cavemen and if you ever try to tip someone you are refusing to relate to them authentically and you are enforcing a dangerous and evil power dynamic that should be purged from human society (so therefore I pay my staff well)." Like everything she stood for was totally agreeable, but why did she have to put it like it was directed at her worst enemy, rather than at the kinds of people she wants to attract? If the word on the street is to be believed, the reason for this posturing is that she spends quite a lot of energy making as many enemies as possible, and she probably likes it that way. I guess I'm just reminding myself, and perhaps others, that while one might think of "politics" as being broadly social and theoretical, no individual can fully separate the political from the intimately personal. Even somebody who seems to want to uplift and protect their fellow humans may be getting some perverse inner satisfaction out of that valiant crusade, and you may never realize it until you find yourself in a confusing fight with them.

[author-by-night]

I ran a LARP for a few years explicitly aimed at being queer friendly and accessible, and eventually cut it short mainly for this exact reason. You wouldn’t believe the amount of abuse my staff and I took for reasons that felt genuinely insane. I got called ableist for telling someone they couldn’t be invincible in my game of make believe, more than once. Defended myself, multiple Jewish players, and a conversion student from accusations of antisemitism based on alleged lore we’d never written / suggested / that simply and plainly did not exist in game. Had a staffer try to talk to someone about how a joke she made was uncomfortable only for this person to retaliate in epic proportions full white woman crocodile tears style, trying to get this staffer removed and eventually escalating into a full public hate campaign when she didn’t get her way. All that’s still just the tip of the iceberg.

Progressive spaces are naturally populated by traumatized people, and unfortunately trauma makes people more difficult. (I’m not excluded in that. No one is.) Running a progressive space is doubly difficult because a lot of left-facing trauma was inflicted by authority, so you’re setting yourself up to be the windmill that someone tilts their displaced rage at. I don’t really know what the solution is, but I do know that this is one of the huge reasons it’s so hard to find community: the people with a bone to pick can’t reach the ones who actually hurt them, but they’ll sure find you along the way, and the safer they feel around you the safer they’ll feel coming after you.

[ariaste]

Once again I am begging everyone to read Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It by Chris Voss.

Voss spent 25 years as a hostage negotiator, meaning that his job was to talk to guys on the phone who had literal guns to innocent people's heads. He KNOWS how to compassionately de-escalate a conflict and have productive, constructive conversations with people who are highly activated and reactive.

Especially if you are neurodivergent, read this book. The communication tools are specific, concrete, easy to implement, and will dramatically reduce the psychic damage you're taking just from trying to navigate the conversation.

[thelawfulchaotic]

Adding the book Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg. Rewired my brain and also changed how I communicate with myself, if that makes sense.

And there is an additional problem, which is that leftists are often uncomfortable being authorities themselves and acting like it. (Not saying this was true of any previous posters! It is simply a common Thing.) Leftists like being inclusive and being relaxed on rules. But the only way to make a truly safe space is to protect it, and that means having someone who is willing to say “no.” People feel safe when leadership has their back.

Sometimes you have to tell that woman that if she keeps picking fights she won’t have any allies to fight them. Sometimes you have to tell that guy that no, really, you have to shower sometimes, and the Stink Cloud is why people don’t want to hang out with you.

It’s okay to be the adult in the room. It is something to be done compassionately and authoritatively. I would probably drone on more in this post but my cat is headbutti g my phone out of my hands

[enbaluka-tokyo-drift]

[rebel-hunk-enjoyer]

The worst-sounding piece of advice I've ever been given that does actually work is to frame your health concerns as coming from someone close to you, whom you do not believe. Tell your doctor that you've been having pain and your mom/friend/partner thinks it might be an ovarian cyst, but you don't think so because the pain is much more intense and it has to be something else. This gives your doctor an unseen third party to fight instead of you. They can't just tell this third party, who isn't present, that you pulled a muscle, they now need to prove to this third party that it is not an ovarian cyst.

At which point they will find an ovarian cyst, but they now get whatever fucked up satisfaction they derive out of proving you wrong, because you didn't believe it could a cyst at all, but guess what? They did find a cyst! It's such a good thing you didn't listen to your intuition and came to them to verify your lay diagnosis from that third party! Bonus? Doctor doesn't have to feel like they look stupid in front of a patient, which is really what all this is about. Not your health, why would you think your medical diagnosis is about your health? It's obviously about a doctor's potential ego.

And apparently this works. Apparently you just need to be able to always play 4D chess with your medical professionals in order to find an avenue of advocating for yourself and getting you medical needs met. Isn't that great?

I hate it here, actually.

[2well2water]

stop posting about your badly behaved dog i mean husband online if you’re going to get upset with the people telling you he’s a bite risk. “look at what my husband packed me for my lunch” and it’s the most insulting low effort assortment of snacks you’ve ever seen accompanied with a note that says “i see you as subhuman”. “ugh guys stop telling me my husband doesn’t respect me you’re not the ones in the relationship you don’t know what he’s really like” yes i do and i think you should have him put down.

[sentimentalslut]

as an attorney ethically I can’t give legal advice over the internet but for the love of god people stop wearing jeans, sweats, and tee shirts to court

[sawed-on-shotgun]

the human body when you use it and exist in it

[onemonthintheatlantic]

SAM REID CALLING OMEGAVERSE "VERY URSULA LE GUIN"

[onemonthintheatlantic]

[only-tiktoks]

[anais-ninja-bitch]

unmute

[cipheramnesia]

You only need to know one thing: meow.

[water-of-the-bong-deactivated20]

[Video transcript:

(Meow in the background. The meows continue through the video.)

So, (meow) today I am making... (meow) (snicker) pine- (meow) pinecone dice. (meow) (meow) My cat- (meow) He- (meow) He wants to narrate, too (meow). SHUT UP, THUNDER. (a beat.) He's not allowed in the bedroom (meow) 'cause he beats my other cat up (meow) and she's in here right now (meow) so he's throwing a fit.

Anyways, we're making pineco- (wheeze) i lost my train of thought.

So, I use- (meow) (exasperated) pi- i can't fucking these blank inserts (meow) to put the pinecones in (a series of meows interrupt) and then I put the pl- I had this all planned out and I was gonna explain exactly what I was doing and then the (meow)... the CAT... (meow) (a beat.) (Some purring) Can you (purring) hear that? Listen to that)(meow)

Anyways I hope you like the dice, bye.

End transcript]

[willgrahamscock]

ai could never outdo my beautiful perverted mutuals

[valtsv]

wore my thigh high boots on a walk today and we had to take a path through some long grass and while everyone else was rolling their pants into their socks and putting on jackets to protect themselves from ticks i was standing there smug as hell in my thigh high leather boots.

[valtsv]

a hoe never gets lyme disease

[perditionsflames]

[rimonoroni2]

what people don’t understand about how adhd is disabling is that it’s not just getting temporarily distracted from, like, school work or hobbies. it’s getting distracted/being unable to motivate yourself to go to the doctor, eat regularly, do hygiene tasks, etc. it’s not knowing when or how long it will take you to do something, ANYTHING, and in many cases that thing is taking a shower or keeping your house from turning into a biohazard. it’s about being fundamentally incapable of controlling your attention and focus on anything, even and especially things you need to do to survive.

[theconcealedweapon]

[thelawfulchaotic]

1) The focus here as always should not be the women (and other victims) of domestic violence. It should be the perpetrators. As a culture we need to stop asking victims why they stay and persist in asking perpetrators why they are violent.

2) So my snappy ass response to a question like this would be “teach your son not to hit”

3) More seriously, though, the situation is more complex; my parents didn’t control with anger and that made me more susceptible to it when it happened to me because I didn’t have the emotional vocabulary for what was being done to me

4) My next less snappy response would be: teach her what it looks like when her partner makes her responsible for the emotional tenor of the relationship. When her partner rocks the boat and blames her for the waves.

5) And tell her the secret that the only thing abusive men look for is kindness. Kind people are willing to take responsibility for the comfort of others. Kind people will make themselves smaller for someone else’s comfort. That’s where it starts.

6) Child abuse is the root of all of society’s problems, I am increasingly convinced