parenting commitment level 3000
apparently a requirement for working at poison control is a talent for stand-up comedy

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣

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sheepfilms

#extradirty
dirt enthusiast
cherry valley forever
Sweet Seals For You, Always
trying on a metaphor
i don't do bad sauce passes

roma★

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KIROKAZE
occasionally subtle
Show & Tell
we're not kids anymore.
YOU ARE THE REASON
$LAYYYTER
Game of Thrones Daily
Mike Driver
Not today Justin
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@tempestandwhirlwinds
parenting commitment level 3000
apparently a requirement for working at poison control is a talent for stand-up comedy
Carnivorous plants doin this is so funny to me
They don't wanna eat their pollinators :(
Still wrapping my head around the fact the phrase "Hold Your Horses" is a play on the word Stable...
To be stable.
obsessed w how none of these are the real origin of the phrase
zero knowledge gained
Do you ever lie awake wondering how the heck Gimli knows what a nervous system is
Clearly dwarves have medical knowledge far more advanced than that of the other races.
His Majesty Dr. Gimli, son of Gloin, Neurosurgeon, M.D.
gimli trying to explain his studies to legolas, a flat-earther
#*scroll down* #*remember that middle earth is canonically flat for elves and round for everyone else* #*scroll back up & smash that reblog button"
tired: legolas took gimli to valinor with him because they were bffs/in love/etc.
wired: legolas took gimli to valinor to prove the world was flat after arguing with him about it for decades
Sorry it’s what to elves
So, in Tolkein lore, the world was originally flat, with most of the land in the middle (hence Middle Earth). But the Numenorians (men who were rewarded with their own Atlantis-equivalent island for service in the first big war against Melkor, but eventually Power Corrupts etc) tried to invade the uttermost west which was basically Elf Heaven. To put an end to that sort of thing, the creator of the world Bent The World and made it a sphere…but left elves able to treat it like a flat disk. So elves can sail west and reach Elf Heaven, but a man or dwarf or hobbit who sails west will eventually wrap around to the east coast of Middle Earth.
This is why Legolas can see for such great, almost impossible distances. The Earth does not curve for him.
Legolas said fuck the horizon
God I fucking love high fantasy
if theres one thing that really pissed me off from my 3 years of architecture i took in high school it's learning about how we used to have all these little techniques to maximize or minimize heat or warmth and now we just merrily abandoned all those to have the same copypaste style buildings everywhere that are often INCREDIBLY unoptimized to the local weather and climate so we can just throw more money at our heating and cooling bills
where i live it is hot as balls approximately 80% of the year. i do not want a massive butt-ugly grey mcmansion with a huge echoey open-concept kitchen-livingroom-foyer-diningroom-staircase that has huge windows so i can have an hvac unit the size of a barge heaving and straining to keep it at a constant 72 the grees. i want a north indian traditional style home with small windows to force the airflow to cool, decorative grates to limit the amount of sunlight, and a COURTYARD with a POND *smashes unspecified large object*
I hate learning about instances of "oh yeah we know how to do that, we just don't".
this is exactly why I love talking about historical passive heating and cooling techniques
oh wow the glass-tower office buildings we constructed when we thought air conditioning and central heating would never have downsides...have downsides?
and we're still building them?
while the Victorian house museum where I work, with thick walls and small windows and big wooden shutters stays ~10 degrees above (winter) or below (summer) the outside temperature for days on end with no help at all?
uh. okay then
(also public transit. the history of public transit in the US is infuriating, because we had it! and then we destroyed it!)
THIS IS SO TRUE
Ilya: would you still love me if I was a worm?
Shane: baby, of course. I would take such good care of you. Get you the nicest dirt I could. & I’d bring you to the rink every day so you could wiggle around on the ice :)
Ilya: okay :D would you still love me if I was bad at hockey?
Shane: Please don’t ask me that
God sometimes I'm writing smut and I'll like, delete a sentence because I'm like, no, I can't write that. It's too indulgent. And then it's like. Girl, what the fuck are you even going to the candy store for if you're just going to buy raisins. Get real.
"what the fuck are you even going to the candy store for if you're just going to buy raisins" is honestly the thing I needed to hear today
toddler shane refusing to talk after his hockey team lose a game. yuna & david are trying to be encouraging like “bud!! you played so good!!” and shane is ignoring them while climbing into his car seat where he’s going to angrily drink his juice box and then chew on the straw.
Couldn't miss the chance
oh my god i almost forgot to tell you all about how, while my dad was visiting, i had an infestation of every single kind of bug in my house that hasn't been a problem before or since. like i'm not kidding i evicted so many creeping crawlies that week and couldn't for the life of me stop mosquitos from stealing my blood, but as soon as he left they vanished. and i mean, sure, there's a perfectly rational explanation, because two people make more mess than one and he has a habit of leaving the windows wide open enough to fly a jet engine through day and night, but i can't help but think how symbolically on the nose it was. the ancestral rot at the heart of my family so gothic it's got ants and flies buzzing around its decaying corpse.
hey so update but i haven't been harassed by a single freaky little beast since my dad left even after leaving some crumbs on the floor as an experiment to see if they attracted any ants so i think my dad might just be bugs actually
@entities-of-posts textbook corruption example lol
Seconded
It makes me happy when they listen
YES. YES YES YES THANK YOU
a good thread
just saw someone say "a fandom is small, so like only 1-3 fics posted per day" . you wouldnt survive a day in the place where im from
my cat stopping me from petting her
her swift maneuver, for context
hihi!! Ive been loving your shallergies posting but im not much of a writer so im doing my part by doodling baby Shane smuggling a mango!!! your descriptions were so vivid I saw the vision instantly :) I hope you enjoy!
THE VOLUME AT WHICH I JUST SHRIEKED WITH JOY AND GLEE OH MY GOD
I WANT TO GET THIS TATTOOED ACROSS MY FACE SO I WILL SEE IT EVERY SINGLE TIME I LOOK IN THE MIRROR OH MY GOD
I LOVE THIS LITTLE MANGOBLIN
THANK YOU FOR HIM
MY MOON MY MANGO
every day of my life i read someone being like “why doesn’t this story just solve the problem immediately and casually? they just drag it out and make it an issue” well. because that’s the Story
there’s a twitter account where this guy thinks every tweet is directed at him and it’s great
this is how everyone on this website acts
Thats not true i dont think i act like this
literally though if you feel like your life is slipping through your fingers and every day goes too fast… try doing hard things, not just taking the easy route, like reading and making art and exercising and cooking a meal from scratch and journaling, doing these things without distraction, without being absorbed on a screen… the time will stretch and you’ll be reminded that life is long and beautiful if you make it so.
Reblogging this with these tags because oh my goodness
To the person I reblogged this from THANK YOU i am now going to stick this on my pinboard where I’m gonna see it every single day
“Life is long and beautiful if you make it so”