White people - when you ask POC questions, I wish youâd ask less âis it ok if I [do a certain thing]?â and more âwhat are your thoughts on [certain thing]?â
The first makes me uncomfortable bc youâre demanding a clear Yes/No that no single POC has the right to give.
It puts the burden on ME to repeat for the countless time that we are not a monolith and others may feel differently before giving my opinion and even then, I worry that you might take my answer and run with it bc Iâm not sure youâre conceptualising our individual diversity.
But if you ask âwhat are YOUR thoughts?â instead, it shows me youâre aware that youâre getting the opinion of a single person and youâre not expecting me to speak for a whole group of people. Only then do I feel safe giving my thoughts.
Ultimately, you need to focus on listening respectfully and seeking out perspectives from a variety of POC instead of trying to get a magic Permission Pass on whether you can do [certain thing]. I mean, the final judgement on whether to act is YOURS to make.
ALSO it is very transparent when youâre more concerned about Not Getting Cancelled than listening to POC our of respect... like seriously can stop acting like weâre coercing you or making your life difficult just because we have opinions đ©