nonpassing ftm

he him widda dream… every trans man get meaner !!!!!!

[testosteroneterrorist]

anybody have some tmasc positivity? ive been doing what scientists are calling Not Awesome. feel free to send literally whatever into my inbox (even if its just some fun/silly thing you did/like/etc)!!!!

[fforsythiaaa]

Once when I was in undergrad, someone described something as “problematic” in class and our professor was like, “That’s cool, but ‘problematic’ doesn’t really mean anything. It means that the thing you’re describing has a problem, and in and of itself that’s not bad. Art, especially, should always have problems, or else it’s not interesting and not art, either. It sounds like you’re trying to say that this is bad, but you don’t want to say ‘bad.’ Is that right?”

So from then on whenever one of us called something problematic, he would make us talk it out until we could name the “bad” thing we were hinting at. In this particular class, 7/10 it was some type of oppression, and the remainder was like, “I’m uncomfortable because this is very new/confusing/pushing boundaries that made me feel safe.”

Once we stopped calling things “problematic” and stopping at that, class got way more interesting and... we all had to say, like, “that’s racist” or “that’s misogynistic” or “ew capitalism gross” out loud, which a lot of us had never done in a classroom before. Or we had to be like, “Uhhh... I’m not sure what’s so bad?” and confront our own beliefs and that was maybe even more useful.

Anyway. Whenever I see the word problematic, I can’t help but think of this professor being like, “Good starting point, now let’s get specific.” I think when we have to commit to saying “that’s ___” it requires a lot more careful thought about the truth and impact and complexities of whatever we’re claiming. Sometimes there really is some bullshit afoot, and also sometimes it’s art, and it should be full of problems, because that’s what art is.

[transfemme-shelterdog]

Anon because i'm scared but i think 90% of the transandrophobia discourse could be solved if these people went and talked to a trans man irl, and not online, and touched some grass

All the "bad experiences" people are talking about... im sure most if not all of them are online. And people are meaner online. Once they see that most trans men irl are not like that, maybe they'd be kinder

I completely agree. I had the same views as these TRFs before I met Allen (you can thank my shitty transfem ex gf who was my only source of trans knowledge) and once we got talking I ended up dropping all that bullshit.

[starlovinguy]

The idea trans men can "pass easier" comes from a place of privilege, survivorship bias, and a lack of understanding of trans masc oppression.

Society sees trans men as delusional girls, as people breaking out of its strict concept of femininity, and treat then accordingly.

This means that most trans men will be placed into situations that prevent any form of freedom, like child marriage, arranged marriages, being forced to be a caretaker of a house, ect.

This means that society will degrade trans men and make them "know their place" through rape, sexual assault and pregnancy. (A very common occurrence as we have the highest sexual assault statistic of any minoroty group with 1 in 2 trans men facing it)

This means society will treat trans men like shit until they kill themselves, which works as 50% of us from ages 11 to 19 attempt suicide.

And this means trans men must detransition themselves for their safety and to get help.

This blocks a significant amount of trans man from transitioning. So, let's take a look at who we have left.

Those who are in the middle of transitioning are most likely to be seen as lesbians by others, not as transitioning trans men.

And those who have easier access to transitioning, meaning they have white privileges, parental support, and/or the money to transition.

Of course, people who have white privileges, parental support, and/or the money to transition will have a much easier time transition. They have less pushback from their communities, can buy packers and binders, have the money to get clothing that hides curves, etc. They also have the support to be able to be way more vocal about transitioning, too.

So, to summarize, most trans men cannot transition due to outside circumstances or die before they can, causing a small portion of us to be able to transition. Those of us who can are usually seen as lesbians by others if we don't pass and those who have an easier time transition are people with support/money/white privilege to do so, which also allows them to be more vocal about transitioning.

As such, when people look at trans men who are transitioning, they only ever see the minority who are vocal about it, and assume that all of us have it easy, when in reality that isn't the case.

[cock-holliday]

been seeing a lot of people locked into trans discourse express disdain that "ugh the trans unity people want us to all hold hands and pretend there is no beef" and it demonstrates such an inability to see a bigger picture.

I'm nonbinary, and in recent years the people who have been the most exorsexist to me have been binary trans people. Binary trans folks, yall piss me off every damn day on this website. And if I was unable to see past short-sighted ideas that prioritized comfort above autonomy, safety, liberation, authenticity, I could conclude that binary trans people are my biggest enemy. But they aren't. Not even close.

It's not trans people following you into bathrooms, it's not trans people shouting shit when you walk past, it's not trans people killing us. If we want to play oppression olympics, I've got more reason to hate you guys than you do to hate each other, but it's such a cowardly position to take. It's so inauthentic.

Not because trans people aren't doing harm in this shit storm, the race to acceptance and assimilation comes with a body count, but the crabs in your bucket are not the ones who put us here.

This is WHY I am critical of ideology and not of groups. Reactionary movements are an attempt to take back power as a powerless group, but it only empowers you to violence over other powerless people, because your power is granted BY the oppressors. We must build power as a collective against them.

Trans unity is not a fake-smile-we-all-love-each-other bullshitfest, it is a recognition that we are not each other's enemies, even when we are not each other's friends. The shittiest trans woman deserves the things I am fighting for, the most vile trans guy MUST have access to what we are dreaming of. That is the point. And my unity extends to cis people, not just because i do not want to be another barrier to the closeted trans person finding people who will take them in, but because the gendered liberation of cis people is tied to my liberation too.

We are on lists, we are struggling to afford our care, we are abused by people and systems beyond our control, and fighting against a massive machine for our right to live. Of course it makes sense that bullying someone you think is doing transness wrong makes you feel big. Of course it makes sense that you think policing hard borders stops people from getting what you are afraid of losing. But it doesn't work like that. We are too intertwined that cutting each other off is like cutting off our own arm out of spite. Our oppressors LOVE that you have one less arm to fight them with--it doesn't do shit to them!

But it feels like control. It feels like action. When you feel stuck and hopeless, doing something, often especially out of anger FEELS like progress--like movement.

We do not preach "loving" our fellow trans people out of a naive belief that we could all just get along, but because the only way to survive is to survive together. The only way to thrive is to celebrate the wins of others. The only way to move forward is with all of us.

Because if you whittle and whittle away at "threats" and cut down on your circle until only those you can "really" trust who "fully" understands you inherently--rather than meet them and build collective understanding--eventually the only one who will be left is you, and if other trans people are your enemy, how do you think it goes when it's just you vs yourself in the end?

[crabussy]

been working on unlearning male defaultism in the ways I speak to people and I've replaces "guys" with "crew". and you know what? it's SO fun. addressing the readers of my posts with a "kia ora crew!" and saying farewell to my friends with a "bye crew!!" is so delightful. everyone should adopt a fun way to address people. peace and love

[transfemme-shelterdog]

Fuck testosterone

Fuck top surgery

Combine that shit into a super-hormone called BlowOffYourBreastosterone

It's testosterone that makes your chesticles fall off

Hire me Pfizer

[beau-rebloga-coisas]

Does it also makes you instantly grow tummy and chest hair? If yes I support your endeavors to make this a reality wholeheartedly

[transfemme-shelterdog]

Only certain varieties. We support trans guys who wanna be smooth and hairless here!

[butch-bakugo]

"Transmasc privilege" " trans male privilege" "womb privilege" "afab privilege" "tme privilege"

Honey, we know the term you're looking for is female privilege. But for some reason, despite you quite literally describing it in very obvious terms, you won't just say that. Why won't you say it? Why avoid it if that's what you mean? You clearly think there's privileges attached to the female sex that aren't attached to the male sex so why won't you just say female privilege?

Could it be because female privilege is a fucking incel dog whistle?

Could it be because the only group that think being born afab or being born with a vagina/uterus/womb/the capability of pregnancy is a privilege is a mysognistic hate group?

So which is it, are you a cis man whose actually a troll trying to hurt the image of trans women or are you finally ready to admit bad actors have infiltrated your movement and none of you are actually versed enough in feminism to realize you are being lead down a bigoted mysognistic path just because they rebranded themselves as anti-tme/anti-afab instead of anti-woman?

All that sudden influx of "pooner" and "roastie" and "gooner" and "chud" and " cunt boy" and "Tmoid" sure doesn't help, considering those are all direct or rebranded incel terminology as well....

[crippled-peeper]

untreated reproductive health problems kill trans mascs at a much higher rate than cis women. if you’re not protecting our access to gynecologists and women’s specialists then I care not for your opinion on the subject. “trans men should not be in these spaces!!!!! they’re for WOMEN!!!” isn’t praxis it’s you gleefully siding with the patriarchy and the status quo

[eptck]

you have to be kinder to people with memory issues.

you have to be kinder to people who are slow processors.

you have to be kinder to people who don't understand your jokes.

you have to be kinder to people who forget important dates.

you have to be kinder to people with cognitive decline.

you have to be kinder to people who were always this way, too.

you have to be kind. you have to be kind.

[dogpuppy]

[hellofmychoice]

The myth that “masculinity is always privileged over femininity” has gone so far that people literally tell trans men “no one is stopping you from being a man or masculine” to trans men/mascs like transphobia doesn’t exist.

[arachnid-party]

something that really exhausts me in trans discourse is how people constantly try to apply cis discrimination dynamics into the one minority group it doesn’t apply to. we are so close to having a productive conversation but we keep missing each other here and it genuinely saddens me

[smorksthings]

I'm tired of seeing prolific and popular transandophobes whenever I go to ANY social media.

Pocket-deer-belly and their ilk is popular enough to be getting voiceovers on YouTube shorts and it's so annoying. I've seen him, Pladios, Byjove and plenty of others get so much attention and it's so... It's taking a toll on my mental health, I can't escape them. People can't understand/see how damaging these people are and it feels like I'm going insane.

This is just a symptom of how ignored and overlooked trans men are.

[rambling-rosee]

Byjove?? Aren’t they are trans man?

[smorksthings]

Yes. And he's still a transandrophobe. You can find his posts denouncing transandrophobia very quickly by looking it up on his blog.

[rambling-rosee]

I mean this just seems like recognizing that both trans women and trans men are oppressed?

[smorksthings]

I don't know if Jove deleted the posts, but at some point he made a few posts vehemently shutting down the term and being incredibly rude to anyone who tried to have genuine conversations with him. You don't need to accept me at my word because I'm a stranger and the likes, but I was there when it happened and on the bus. I'm sure there are screenshots of it still floating somewhere because someone did take screenshots from what I recall, I just don't have them because unless I'm planning on debunking a post that I'm going to block the OP over, I don't tend to take screenshots of them.

[rambling-rosee]

Oof okay

Yeah I’m not seeing those posts :/ maybe he deleted them

It’s possible he will listen to criticism, but that’s not a great start or a seemingly open mind (also apparently people are sending him death + SA threats oh my god why are Tumblr people so unhinged)

[fvckw4d]

Byjove has consistently expressed views of trans men having male privilege, no longer being affected by misogyny once theyre out? Transitioned?, "centering themselves in conversations" about trans issues and feminist issues, being the cause of "trans infighting," being "tmras," and has described himself as a "misandrist" and has refused to believe that "tirfs" exist.

I remember i made a post last year vaguely referencing him (not named) as an example of a trans men who was being congratulated for being "one of the only good ones/real feminists" for going along with the usual bullshit and people IMMEDIATELY asked me if it was about him specifically.

[transguyjusttrying]

if you're equating "kill all (oppressed group)" with harmless, hyperbolic jokes, you've lost the fucking plot. you are the problem. i don't give a shit how "frustrated" you are. throwing other trans people under the bus is not helping anyone. if this is your response to saying "hey, maybe don't joke about killing other trans people," you cannot be trusted to be normal about any trans person who even slightly disagrees with you.

[riv3rboychaos]

[end screenshot]

the patriarchy may not oppress white cis het perisex men for expressing masculinity but it sure as fuck oppresses those *it views as* women for expressing masculinity.

also "they see transmascs as the default" WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU ON ABOUT? most people in my school literally think trans women are the only type of trans people. trans women are mostly the only people mentioned in articles about legislation that affects *all of us*, to the point where a lot of people do not realise the legislation affects trans men too. what the actual fuck are you on about?

[this-is-transandrophobia]

"misandry isnt real men aren't oppressed for being men" literally talk to any man of colour. literally ask any man who survived the aids crisis. would you cross the street if you saw a man walking towards you. would you be inclined to spray a man just for walking nearby you. have you ever seen a native/black/brown man who you didn't think would hurt you even if you saw him petting butterflies earlier and plenty of his friends said "well no he's really a sweetheart if you got to meet him" but no you're too busy hating any kind of masculinity. imagine a man now imagine him black are you scared of him now. do you see what I'm saying.

if I had a nickel for every time my mom insulted me for trying to present masculine I'd have enough money to move out and go to college. if I had a dime for every time my brother referred to me as his sibling instead of his brother (which I've asked him many times to do) I'd have a yacht. do you see what I'm saying here. they want me to be a girl. they are forcing me into femininity. i am being *hated* for *being a man.* do you see what I'm saying. if i had a dollar for every racist slur my nana has said about me my brother and uncles because we dared to be native american men (she's nice to my mom though 🤔) near her i'd have enough money to pay for her cancer treatment. do you see or are you too busy plugging your ears to listen to anything a man has to say because you can't imagine anyone who's not a woman contributing anything to society

This is transandrophobia