[trans-ified]

* , it/its, 23yo transmasc enby

blog contains: discussions of transandrophobia and transmasculine-specific transphobia and oppression, transmisogyny, exorsexism, intersexism, intersex liberation/activism, general gender discussions

inbox is open

[eggotchi-deactivated20260513]

nonbinary ppl ARE trans enough no matter how they present themselves. if i hear "that nonbinary person didn't even change anything besides their name and label so they're basically cis" one more time im going to lose my shit. the fact that it's sometimes coming from ppl who also in the same breath say u dont need hrt to be trans is also mind boggling like just say u hate nonbinary ppl specifically and go

[starlitbeetle]

Hey all, while we're busy normalizing women with hairy legs, hairy armpits and bushy pubes, let's also normalize women with hairy upper lips, hairy chins, hairy side burns, hairy chests, and all the other places where women are supposedly magically hair-free.

[lesboydefender]

seeing young trans men saying how they feel so “validated” by people telling them to kill themselves because “at least they see me as a man” is actually so fucking sad. 15 year old trans boy you do not deserve to be treated like a monster because of the words you use for yourself and the goals you have for your body. you do not need to accept this kind of treatment from your own community in order to prove that you’re not a threat. you are a person. you are a person

[bipedal-embarrassment]

Literally why I'm so vocal about transandrophobia and why, as a trans man in my 30s, I won't be caught dead capitulating to that shit or engaging in constant performance of platitude, apology, diminishment and self flagellation for existing as a trans man

No I will fucking not teach trans masc youth your creepy terf version of original sin

No I won't teach trans masc youth that they need to apologise for being trans, for being masc or for being young men

Fuck transandrophobes and fuck every trans masc and trans man who sells out his brothers in this way

[hi-fi-planetoid]

Another aspect of anti-transmasculinity and transandrophobia that's honestly crawling with racism is the stereotype that we don't care about our appearance and have it easier because we can all just be disgusting and boring looking while trans women need to try harder to "look good" to be treated with dignity. Like idk about you, but I don't find it gender affirming to be called disgusting in the first place??? Like when we transition socially or medically we're mocked for our appearance all the time, that's not gender affirming and that's not acceptance.

But besides that, the racism behind assumptions made of us is so obviously influenced by a white centered bias, y'all don't even think trans men of color exist. I'm sitting here doing my hair and half of the products I have misgender me because they're literally the only things that keep my hair healthy. Men of color don't have the luxury to not care about our appearance to some degree if we don't want to be completely dehumanized and forced into white supremacist standards. The white supremacist expectation for black men is to buzz our hair because natural black hair is seen as filthy and caring for hair is seen as a women's thing. That is literally a function of white supremacy to force black men to conform to white standards that you are reinforcing with this white centered stereotype against trans men. And there's plenty of other ways moc are forced into white standards to erase our culture. You can't go around claiming you're woke and then have this perspective, it's inherently white centered and racist.

[luxiomahariel]

shoutout to fat nonbinary people

everyone say thank you to fat nonbinary people

[translovedaily]

“You should have known everyone would hate you if you became a man” is victim blaming and transphobia.

“If you don’t like being treated like a traitor or a predator, you shouldn't have transitioned” is victim blaming and transphobia.

“If you can’t handle the bigotry that comes with being transgender, you must not be a real man” is victim blaming and transphobia.

"I've decided that I have it worse than you and that the pain you feel isn't real or important, so just suck it up and get over yourself" is victim blaming and transphobia.

Bigotry against trans men is just as real and just as wrong as bigotry against any other marginalized person. Being a man doesn't mean that you won't ever be hurt when people refuse to treat you with basic human decency. It doesn't mean that you'll never need help and support. It definitely doesn't mean that you deserve other people's hatred.

Trans men deserve to be respected and supported just like any other person does.

[love-ardour-anarchism]

Once again yelling on my soap box about how you don’t GET to love my posts on the beauty and complexity of butch identity and queering masculinity if you don’t support trans men and transmasculine people.

Butch identity doesn’t just go hand in hand with trans manhood and transmasculinity: they are chosen family, they’re friends and comrades, lovers and beloved.

If you deny the lived experiences of trans men and transmasculine people you don’t get to pretend like you see the beauty in the complexity of butchness.

Fuck you, fuck off, you don’t get to claim you love me while you hate my closest kin.

[nonbinary-wrath-month]

Transandrophobia is so obviously a real thing that I doubt your ability to think critically or view situations from other peoples' perspectives if you "don't believe" in it. Do you honestly and seriously believe that a society as patriarchal and misogynistic as ours would not care about a so-called "woman" deciding they don't want to be a woman and fulfill the role of a woman anymore? Do you think the patriarchy just decides to stop being misogynistic to someone as soon as they say "Actually, my pronouns are he/they"? Some of you need to turn your brains on.

[genderkoolaid]

i don't know why some feminists, who are genuinely trans-affirming and even actively try to challenge elements of cissexism in feminism, are so goddamn allergic to saying "cis men." its one word. three letters. just slap it in front of the word "man" when relevant. i know you know that cisness and transness are relevant. so why am i still having to read you say "men" over and over and over again when it is blatantly obvious you mean cis men!

[genderkoolaid]

like sorry to be a bitch about it (not really) but i do think it is that serious. i think you should be thinking about cisness and transness and intersexuality whenever discussing gender. it really all goes back to trans men's transmanhood being overlooked and erased as a site of oppression in favor of focusing on transness detached from manhood or femaleness detached from manhood and transness.

[gravitren]

We all know what erectile dysfunction is but literally no one is ever taught what vaginismus is and it can cause people to feel extremely lost, broken, and cause people to take their own lives. Raise. Awareness.

[pokemonprofessor]

For the uninformed, vaginismus is when the vagina painfully tightens and spasms when faced with pressure, usually from anything trying to insert into the vagina. It’s the reason I can’t wear tampons, and why many people can’t have vaginal sex without severe pain.

There’s not a lot of treatments, and there isn’t a single one that is for vaginismus exclusively - they’re all medications or treatments to treat symptoms, but not the causes. In fact, for a long time doctors waved off vaginismus as a purely psychological disorder in cis women.

Seriously, this is so unaddressed and uncared for in medical circles. Please spread awareness, even if all it’s for is to let those who have it but don’t have a name for it finally be able to understand what’s happening to their bodies.

[certifiedsexed]

Certified Sex Ed Post!

[mystery-ink]

Hi hello! This post is almost 10 years old and there ARE treatments for this. Vaginismus is otherwise known as pelvic hypertonia and it is a MUSCULAR condition that can be caused by many different factors including endometriosis, trauma, chronic UTIs, and connective tissue disorders.

It’s incredibly common! And it can be treated by physiotherapy.

I know this because I’m currently undergoing physio and although it can take months to recover, I’m already seeing improvement. A lot of the pelvic floor exercises are available online, but if you have these symptoms please TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR and see if you can get a physio referral (or investigation for underlying causes like endometriosis).

Also, my additions to posts never get reblogged so a note to my followers: this is SUPER IMPORTANT ISSUE that affects many people and is rarely talked about. Please reblog, and please share this info with as many people as possible.

Pelvic hypertonia/vaginismus is incredibly debilitating and psychologically damaging but it CAN BE TREATED. Spread the word, and you never know who you’ll be throwing a lifeline to.

[whatthehellisthis-world]

"theyfab" "theymab" how about I theystab you in the theychest

[genderkoolaid]

btw i have seen some people using ''birthday girl'' to refer to transphobic trans women and i Do Not Like That. don't do that shit.

primarily because i think its fucking weird to have catty little insults for trans people we disagree with, even and perhaps especially when we disagree with them over actually harmful things they've done or rhetoric they contribute to. its unhelpful and adds fuel to the fire of emotion-first "my pain justifies being an asshole, if you want me to be kinder you just don't get my suffering" trans infighting, and no matter how good it feels i do not think it is right! it hurts all of us whether directly or indirectly because it contributes to a toxic culture, and it is genuinely poison to organizing socially and politically against patriarchy.

but also, on a practical level (which as a pragmatist i do not think is actually separate from the ethical level), its a bad fucking look! it is weird and shitty that people are so invested in coming up with catty little insults, or just adopting pre-existing slurs, to describe trans people they think are being transmisogynistic instead of just saying they are being transmisogynistic, and i think it is illustrative of the trends prevalent in the "transandrophobia isn't real" sphere that this is a thing people engage in and defend so much. if you agree with that point, you should understand that turning around and calling trans women "birthday girls" weakens that criticism! it makes it look hypocritical and easily written off!

when done right, taking the moral high ground should strengthen your arguments by making it so that people cannot argue you are being cruel or vindictive or bigoted when you make your point. it may be less satisfying but it is all around better for all of us. if you genuinely want there to be less cruelty from trans people towards trans people, you have to take some responsibility for the role you play in that. we all do! if The Discourse is really pissing you off, find ways to process that anger and frustration and pain that don't contribute to the very thing causing them in the first place.

[mossdotjpeg]

[genderkoolaid]

#get peer reviewed#also for fuck's sake do NOT pull out any variation of feminazi.#i've seen it once or twice and if you pull that shit you are being a bigot#incredibly counterproductive and DEEPLY embarassing.#no I don't care what they said to you don't fucking do it.

get peer reviewed x2

never let your opponent dictate what the moral high road is, but that doesn't mean you stop giving a fuck about morality. taking a firm ethical stance on how you engage with other people, especially other oppressed people, will ALWAYS do a million times more for actual liberation than the cathartic mud-slinging ever will. you are hurting everyone when you pull this kind of bullshit.

[autistichalsin]

The test for allyship isn't how you treat an oppressed person who is your friend, family, spouse. It's how you treat an oppressed person you absolutely can't stand who is vile and loathsome in every way.

Do you gender trans people correctly even when they're being absolutely terrible people? Do you refuse to use the r-slur against someone who suicide baited you but is neurodivergent? Do you refuse to snark at a mentally ill person who is being genuinely unpleasant, "go take your meds!"

Do you allow members of marginalized groups to be terrible people without judging their entire demographic for it? One of the most invisible yet vital forms of privilege is the right to be terrible people as an individual rather than as a group. Do you acknowledge that there are bad people in every group, that it doesn't make their group less worth fighting for? Or do you shake your head if you happen to get mistreated by some who belong to a group and insist the entire group is awful and not worth your allyship?

Oppressed people can see how you treat those of us you like, but do you still treat the worst of us with the basic dignity you treat the worst of other groups with?

[henry-the-yearner]

Unlearn your exorsexism NOW

[transandrogyny--turtlebug]

Julia Serano heard one enban say "the binary is boring." and we've all been dealing with the fallout out for 2 decades

[sufficient-tenacity]

Wait what what did Julia do

[transandrogyny--turtlebug]

She wrote Whipping girl where she coined the term "binaryphobia" which is just non binary people making jokes about how the binary is restrictive. She freaked out and wrote a book about it, which led to transradical feminism

[transandrogyny--turtlebug]

we can have nuance and criticism of trans theorists, we can take some of the good (coining transmisogyny and oppositional sexism) and also understand that the text itself comes from a place of bigotry

[genderkoolaid]

sorry i gotta be a bitch again (with receipts). from Whipping Girl:

There are many different (but often overlapping) forms of gender entitlement and gender anxiety. The

It's kind of crazy to me that she brings biphobia (which has a lot of mirrors with exorsexism), doesn't mention anything about how some bisexuals think they are better than monosexuals and how that's monophobia), but when it comes to nonbinary people...

Anyways, worse than giving credence to "binary-phobia" is her concept of "subversivism" which is what we can trace directly to the exorsexist attitudes in scholars like Jules Gill-Peterson and Kadji Amin. gonna just copy this whole section:

The majority of experiences as a trans activist and spoken word artist have taken place in what is increasingly becoming known as the “queer/trans” community. It is a subgroup within the greater LGBTIQ community that is composed mostly of folks in their twenties and thirties who are more likely to refer to themselves as “dykes,” “queer,” and/or “trans” than “lesbian” or “gay.” While diverse in a number of ways, this subpopulation tends to predominantly inhabit urban and academic settings, and is skewed toward those who are white and/or from middle-class backgrounds. In many ways, the queer/trans community is best described as a sort of marriage of the transgender movement’s call to “shatter the gender binary” and the lesbian community’s pro-sex, pro-kink backlash to 1980s-era Andrea Dworkinism. Its politics are generally antiassimilationist, particularly with regard to gender and sexual expression. This apparent limitlessness and lack of boundaries lead many to believe that “queer/trans” represents the vanguard of today’s gender and sexual revolution. However, over the last four years in which I’ve been a part of this community, I’ve become increasingly troubled by a trend that, while not applicable to all queer/trans folks, seems to be becoming a dominant belief in this community, one that threatens to restrict its gender and sexual diversity. I call this trend subversivism. Subversivism is the practice of extolling certain gender and sexual expressions and identities simply because they are unconventional or nonconforming. In the parlance of subversivism, these atypical genders and sexualities are “good” because they “transgress” or “subvert” oppressive binary gender norms. The justification for the practice of subversivism has evolved out of a particular reading (although some would call it a misreading) of the work of various influential queer theorists over the last decade and a half. To briefly summarize this popularized account: All forms of sexism arise from the binary gender system. Since this binary gender system is everywhere—in our thoughts, language, traditions, behaviors, etc.—the only way we can overturn it is to actively undermine the system from within. Thus, in order to challenge sexism, people must “perform” their genders in ways that bend, break, and blur all of the imaginary distinctions that exist between male and female, heterosexual and homosexual, and so on, presumably leading to a systemwide binary meltdown. According to the principles of subversivism, drag is inherently “subversive,” as it reveals that our society’s binary notions of maleness and femaleness are not natural, but rather are actively “constructed” and “performed” by all of us. Another way that one can be “transgressively gendered” is by identifying as genderqueer or genderfluid—i.e., refusing to identify fully as either woman or man.

The notion that certain gender identities and expressions are inherently “subversive” or “transgressive” can be seen throughout the queer/trans community, where drag and gender-bending are routinely celebrated, where binary-confounding identities such as “boy-identified-dyke” and identities and expressions that appear to subvert or blur gender binaries, subversivism automatically creates a reciprocal category of people whose gender and sexual identities and expressions are by default inherently conservative, even “hegemonic,” because they are seen as reinforcing or naturalizing the binary gender system. Not surprisingly, this often-unspoken category of bad, conservative genders is predominantly made up of feminine women and masculine men who are attracted to the “opposite” sex. One routinely sees this “dark side” of subversivism rear its head in the queer/trans community, where it is not uncommon to hear individuals critique or call into question other queers or trans folks because their gender presentation, behaviors, or sexual preferences are not deemed “subversive” enough. Indeed, if one fails to sufficiently distinguish oneself from heterosexual feminine women and masculine men, one runs the risk of being accused of “reinforcing the gender binary,” an indictment that is tantamount to being called a sexist. One of the most common targets of such critiques are transsexuals, and particularly those who are heterosexual and gender-normative post-transition. Indeed, because such transsexuals (in the eyes of others) transition from a seemingly “transgressive” queer identity to a “conservative” straight one, subversivists may even claim that they have transitioned in order to purposefully “assimilate” themselves into straight culture. While these days, such accusations are often couched in the rhetoric of current queer theory, they rely on many of the same mistaken assumptions that plagued the work of cissexist feminists like Janice Raymond and sociologists like Thomas Kando decades ago. The practice of subversivism also negatively impacts trans people on the MTF spectrum. After all, in our culture, the meanings of “bold,” “rebellious,” and “dangerous”—adjectives that often come to mind when considering subversiveness—are practically built into our understanding of masculinity. In contrast, femininity conjures up antonyms like “timid,” “conventional,” and “safe,” [note: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT SERANO?????????????????????] also which seem entirely incompatible with subversion. Therefore, despite the fact that the mainstream public tends to be more concerned and disturbed by MTF spectrum trans people than their FTM spectrum counterparts, subversivism creates the impression that trans masculinities are inherently “subversive” and “transgressive,” while their trans feminine counterparts are “lame” and “conservative” in comparison. Subversivism’s privileging of trans masculinities over trans femininities helps to explain why cissexual queer women and FTM spectrum folks tend to dominate the queer/trans community: Their exceptional gender expressions and identities are routinely empowered and encouraged in such settings. In contrast, there is generally a dearth of MTF spectrum folks who regularly inhabit queer/trans spaces.

Literally nothing has changed in two decades and time is a flat circle. The talking points are all the fucking same. If Julia Serano has never actually understood how much she has contribued to exorsexist talking points in the community (straight down to being a white middle class woman talking about how the "queer community" is all young middle class gays who only want to be subversive as a shallow political statement).

Like, yeah Serano! 20 years later and nobody knows the term exorsexism, nobody knows the term misandrogyny, nonbinary people are constantly being harassed over not fitting into various new queer binaries, queer spaces are overwhelmingly binary, people with "subversive" identities are harassed until they recloset themselves, nobody uses neopronouns, transphobes have been using nonbinary people with blue hair and pronouns as one of their top favorite trans boogeymen for over a decade, but yeah Julia!!! Subversivism is totally a "dominant belief" in our community and its DEFINITELY the primary one we should be concerned about!!!! won't SOMEBODY think of the gender conforming white upper middle class straight trans women & men.

She gets so close to this at the end of the above quote, the constant recreation of the gender binary. That is a real problem... but its from exorsexism and binary ideology, Serano, not binaryphobia or subversivism.

It's not even that I think no nonbinary person has ever acted like this. Certainly, radical feminists have historically been hostile to both feminine and masculine people and argued that only a gender neutral presentation can be feminist. In fact, Serano goes on to talk about this, although she distinguishes these radical feminists as "cultural feminists," and primarily focuses on their attacks on femininity & not their equivalent hostility towards butches. It's not crazy to me that Serano really had such experiences in some queer/trans spaces, although to be completely honest I cannot help but feel that she may not be writing in totally good faith here, as the exorsexism in her writing makes me suspicious of how strongly she is presenting "subversivism" here.

But this comes back to the age-old issue of saying "certain queer spaces are actively hostile to [xyz group of trans people], therefore all other trans groups are privileged!" which is that different spaces have different biases. Serano goes on to talk about most queer/trans spaces have few MTF crossdressers or trans women; but there are plenty of people who will tell you that their local scene is dominated by those groups. People will talk about how "all" or "most" trans resources are exclusively about binders for trans men, but there are others who will talk about how the only resources near them are for trans women.

The point being, its not that queer/trans spaces are not frequently transmisogynistic. It is that people frequently refuse to listen to trans men or nonbinary people talk about similarly deeply rooted ATM or exorsexism in these spaces. So the criticism of these spaces fails to be a genuine move towards community reflection and positive change, because people think a solution that only considers one part of the problem and ignores the rest will actually fix things. After all, writers like Serano never seem concerned with the erasure of trans men, NB/GQ people assigned female, or drag kings from LGBT spaces that aren't the "queer/trans" culture is describing. The history of erasure and anti-transmasculinity simply disappears from the picture; its simply natural when a space is all MTF spectrum people and the absence of trans men or drag kings or others on the FTM spectrum doesn't need to be interrogated, but when a space is primarily FTM spectrum people, its uniquely problematic.

As a final note: Serano, like so many people, does not see nonbinary people as nonbinary whether we like it or not. What I mean is, for some people its being an androgynous boygirl freak or kill yourself out of dysphoria. And naturally, those people are going to fight tooth and nail to dismantle the system that punishes us at every turn for making the choice to live as a freak instead of die normal.

We are never given that grace or understanding, though. We constantly have our identities and our political theory as nb/gq/gnc people reduced down to a shallow political choice to be academically critiqued, not something that people - including working class people (like Leslie Feinberg) and people of color (like Dr. Marquis Bey), like - are creating to survive and find strength despite the world we live in.

TL;DR Julia Serano heard some enben say "the binary is boring" and we've all been dealing with the fallout out for 2 decades. everyone read Emi Koyama The Transfeminist Manifesto and Racist Feminism at the National Women’s Studies Association

[hemipenal-system]

going out of your way to care about trans people if you’re cis is an act of revolution btw. it’s a small act but it counts for something

[hemipenal-system]

i understand that you're a 4tran resident and you don't think anything can ever get better for you because that's how everyone on 4tran is. i cannot stress enough that the vast cavern of insecurity you're choosing to live in is exactly what this post is for.

you are obviously not going to smash the patriarchy by doing something small for one single trans woman. that would be absurd. but that doesn't mean that anything you do has no effect at all. if you let a trans woman who doesn't pass at all dress really fem and call her pretty and genuinely mean it you have done something really good. if you go to the gym with a trans guy and support him in the locker room, you've made a meaningful difference in his life specifically. if you create a space for your nonbinary friend where you make it clear you don't see them as one or the other, exorsexism will still obviously exist in other places but they're comfortable with you and that's what matters

it's better to do something small that doesn't change the grand scheme of things than to get so jaded about your inability to change the grand scheme of things that you do nothing at all

you don't need the grand scheme of things to change. you need someone to take your hand and tell you that you are a girl and things will get better for you, over and over until you believe it. and if you choose to do that for yourself then you still will have made a change and made the world better, even if no one else knows you did it.

and please leave 4tran oh my god you deserve better