john mulaney quotes rick riordan characters would say pt. 2
alex: you have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair
nico: when i’m walking down the street i don’t think anyone’s ever like “wow, look at that man”, i think they’re just like “whoa! that tall child looks awful! get some rest tall child”
thalia: i will pepper in the fact that i am gay
thalia: first of all, get out of here with your facts. just because you’re accurate doesn’t mean you’re interesting
leo: i have a girlfriend now myself, which is weird because i’m probably gay based on the way i’ve walked and talked for 28 years
clarisse: no one knows what you’re talking about, you idiot
reyna: i mean, we’re all violent here, but you’re very friendly
annabeth: stop snitchin’ motherfucker
magnus: or was the dead victorian girl you saw just me all along?
percy: i thought that i was going to be murdered my entire childhood
blackjack: i’m gonna run towards the baby incubators and smash em with my hooves i got nice hooves and a long tail i’m a horse
carter: i try to be a little optimistic, even though i will admit, things are getting pretty sticky
grover: i used to be a french maid for a period of time
